


Life Is Fleeting, But Diamonds Are Forever

by Funtimewriter



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Blake Shelton (Musician), The Voice (US) RPF, The Voice RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Adam gets in touch with his feminine side, Airplane Crashes, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Blake is not ok, Close-minded people, Complicated Relationships, Death, Domestic Violence, Gang Violence, Gender Issues, Grief/Mourning, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, I swear this will have a happy ending, Irritated Adam Means Trouble Ahead, Just it will take a bit, Mental Health Issues, Mugging, Overprotective Blake, Protective Blake, Rape/Non-con Elements, Size Difference, The Author Regrets Everything, Unconventional Use Of Human Remains, body image issues, this is depressing af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-01-10 22:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 99,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Funtimewriter/pseuds/Funtimewriter
Summary: When Adam Levine died in a plane crash a year ago, he left behind a final gift for Blake in the form of a beautiful memorial.  But the gift is more than it seems.  What is it about someone that we truly love?  Is it what we see, or who they really are inside?





	1. Precious Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheNutCracker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNutCracker/gifts).



> Adam is DEAD at the start of this fiction. If that, or anything in the tags may trigger you, please DO NOT READ! It's probably the most depressing thing I've ever written, but I promise you a happy ending.
> 
> That being said, this piece is different for many reasons - one of the two main characters is dead before it starts (it is worth repeating!), at least parts of it have been previously posted elsewhere, Mr. Fun has been involved but, as it was posted elsewhere, I don't have his comments, and It's being written/edited on the side while I work on a new novel. That means do not expect regular updates, and certainly not near-daily updates! Patience, Luvs, we will get there!
> 
> Nutcracker, this is for you.

            Blake Shelton sat hunched over in misery on the bed in the trauma unit of the emergency department. He clutched an ice bag to the spreading bruise over his left eye, but his entire face was bruised and bloodied.  He was holding the ice with his left hand because his right had been swaddled with bandages.  Even with the painkillers that coursed through his system, his battered body ached.  Blake felt, and probably looked, like he’d been hit by a truck.  His ruined shirt had been discarded, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable.  The wounds on his torso had already been cleaned, injected with local anesthetic.  Now some young kid in scrubs was working to stitch them up.

            “I know it may not feel like it right now, but you’re a very lucky man, Mr. Shelton.  A little deeper or just a bit more to the right or left and you’d be looking at a major blood vessel cut.  You could have easily bled out and died in that alley before anyone found you.”

            Blake only grunted. 

            “By the looks of your hands, you gave almost as good as you got.  While the official line is to not try to fight back, off the record I want to say good for you!  Those bastards might have gotten the better of you in the end, but you made them work for it.”

            “Yeah.” 

            The kid kept stitching.  “Numb enough?”

            “I don’t feel much.”

            “Good.  I counted seven deep slashes and three stab wounds, so if you need a break, just say the word.”

            “I’d rather get it all done and go home, kid.”  Blake could hear the weariness in his own voice.  “My agent get here yet?”

            “He’s out front, talking to the press.”

            Blake nodded.  That was good, he supposed.  Even with “The Voice” no longer on the air and the cancellation of his last tour, Blake knew he was still a household name.  His agent had just announced Blake’s plans to resume touring this year.  After going through the worst year of his life, Blake was finally trying to pick up the pieces and move on. 

            Now this.

            The suturing seemed to take roughly a century.  The kid had just finished on Blake’s torso and was working on the gash on his left eyebrow when his agent strolled in. 

            “I take it I won’t get ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ this year either, huh?” Blake called, noting the man’s wince.

            “I knew it was bad, but…”  He shook his head.  “Dammit, Blake!  Why did you fight?”

            Blake and the kid shared a wordless glance.  “I fought because they wanted something from me I wasn’t willing to give them,” he explained.

            “It’s only money!  You got plenty of money, but even if you didn’t, it’s not worth your life!”

            “If it was only money they wanted from me, I probably would have still kicked up a fuss, but maybe not this much.  But they took something from me that was worth way more than money!”

            The man froze in horror.  “Blake, what happened?  Did they…?  Please tell me you weren’t assaulted!”

            Blake indicated his wounds.  “The hell do you call this, if not assault?  What do you…. Oh!”  He grimaced.  “No, Barry.  They mugged me, beat the shit out of me, slashed and stabbed me with a knife, but no one made me squeal like a pig.”

            The agent looked simultaneously relieved and annoyed.  “Thank God.  But only you could crack a joke about this.  Blake, you could have been killed, and for what?”

            “I’m cracking jokes because it’s about the only way I can keep it together right now, Barry!"  Blake's voice was suddenly as raw as he was feeling.  "They took him!  They took him away from me!  I couldn’t stop them, Barry.  I tried my damnedest, fought with everything I had in me.  Hell, I fucking _begged_ those bastards not to take him.  But it didn’t matter.”  He held up his wrapped right hand.  “They broke my fingers, Barry.  They even threatened to cut them off if I didn’t give him up, but they didn’t have to in the end.  They pried him right off my finger and left me bleeding on the ground.  And they were laughing, Barry!  They laughed the whole time they were taking him!  Barry, they took him away from me and they fucking _laughed_ about it!”

            Barry sat down with a thud.  “Oh no.  Blake, I’m so sorry!  Did they know it was him?  I mean, did they take him on purpose?”

            Blake shook his head, heedless of the kid trying to stitch his wound.  “I’ve been asking myself that.  When I wouldn’t give him up, they guessed he’d given it to me.  But I don’t think they realized it was actually him.  They just saw a gold diamond ring and stole it along with everything else.  I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them!”  Blake looked at the agent, his blue eyes pleading.  “I could offer a reward?  His setting is probably worth more than he is, just in terms of materials.  The cops thought that they’d probably pawn him and will watch the shops.  Maybe if I offered a nice fat reward?  No questions asked, just give him back?”

            “It’s something to look into, sure.  The fact that he exists is pretty well known, but not many people know it’s actually him.  So it’s as likely to have as good a chance as anything else we could try.  But it’s going to be costly.  Since he died, Adam Levine memorabilia has been pretty hot on the black market.  And none more so than items also connected to you!  A ring he gave you would be a fairly hot item, Blake.  Especially since the ring has his name and face, and the diamond is etched with his name and birth and death dates!”

            “It’s the death date I’m worried about,” Blake groaned.  “That proves he couldn’t have given it to me!  Sooner or later, if they see the etching on his diamond, someone will figure out it’s him!  And then he’ll go on that black market or vanish into some asshole’s private collection and I’ll never see him again!”

            “Blake, the press has always reported that it was a memorial.”

            “They’ll figure it out, Barry!  I’m going to lose him again!”

            Barry’s face grew solemn.  “There’s still a chance to get him back.  Let the cops do their job, post that reward, and don’t give up!  You’ll get him back.” 

            Blake’s voice was barely a whisper.  “What if I don’t?  What if he’s gone forever?” 

            The agent glanced at the young doctor.  “Are you finished?” he asked.  “I need some privacy with my client.”

            “All done.”  The kid dressed the wound, nodded at Blake’s quiet thanks, and stepped out.

            Once they were alone, Barry took Blake’s shoulders.  “Blake, I know you had a real hard time when Adam died,” he began.  “I know how much he meant to you.  And the fact he’d arranged for you to have that ring was the most beautiful act of friendship I’d ever seen.  But Blake?  It isn’t him.  Adam is gone.  And even though that diamond was created from his ashes, it’s not him.”

            Blake was crying now.  Silent tears streaked his cheeks.  “He never should have been on that plane!  I should have stopped him, Barry.  I knew the weather was changing!  Or maybe if I hadn’t asked him to come visit in Oklahoma?  If I had just gone to him instead of him coming to me…”

            “For the last time, Adam’s accident was an accident!  The plane got hit by lightning, Blake.  That could have happened when he was walking down the street!”  He shook Blake’s shoulders.  “Adam is gone but it is not your fault.  And Blake, even if you never see that diamond again?  You know Adam is still with you.  He always will be.  He told you that, remember?  His last words to you.  He wasn’t talking about the diamond, buddy.  That was only a symbol.  Adam is here.”  Barry tapped at Blake’s chest.  “And he’s up above watching over you.  That’s where he’ll always be.  Ok?”

            Blake sniffed, wiped at his streaming eyes.  “I know.  But that ring?  I still need it back, ok?  Offer the reward, and raise it if you have to.  Like you said, the money doesn’t mean much to me.”

****

            Kitty was admiring the diamond as it sparkled on her finger.  Wes narrowed his eyes.  “You better not be getting any ideas,” he warned.

            “Oh, don’t worry,” she called, rolling her green eyes.  “I’m all too aware of your thoughts on commitment, Wes.”

            “That right there is the motherload,” Jack called.  “An Adam Levine ring given by Levine himself to Blake Shelton?  That’s gotta be worth six figures easy!”

            “I don’t know,” Mark warned.  His eyes were fixed on the road as he drove.  “That thing’s one of a kind, recognizable, and easy to trace.  Someone may be willing to pay that much for it, but how do we keep it from being traced right back to us?”

            As he’d suspected, his warnings were met with a chorus of groans and curses from the others.  Mark shook his head.  He and his friends had been out partying.  Every one of them was drunk and high.  They’d been about to call it a night and head home when they’d spotted Shelton.  He’d known as soon as he’d recognized the big country singer on the streets that attacking him was a mistake.  They were all dressed in clubbing clothes, with nothing to cover their faces or disguise their appearance.  But Wes had quickly overridden his concerns by filling the heads of Kitty and Jack with dreams of immense wealth.  Nothing Mark said could convince them that Shelton likely didn’t have rolls of cash stuffed in his jeans.  Now, Wes would never admit he’d been wrong.  The singer’s wallet had only contained a twenty, a five, and a couple of ones.  Not even Wes was stupid enough to try the man’s credit or debit cards.  And that, Mark was sure, was the real reason that he’d insisted on the diamond ring.

            Now look.  Every one of them was sporting cuts and bruises, the result of tangling with the big and very strong man.  Shelton may be a pampered celebrity, but he was also a rancher.  He’d thrown punches that had felt like getting hit with a sledgehammer.  Mark was sure his left cheekbone had been cracked.  Wes was missing a tooth.  Jack had a black eye.  Kitty, protected somewhat at first by the fact she was female, had gotten the least of it.  But when she’d started prying the ring off of Shelton’s hand, the big man had headbutted her and sent her right onto her can, her tight skirt hitching up to display her pink panties and her feet in their platform sandals splayed.

            The sight would have been comical if Mark hadn’t been punched in the gut about then.  It had taken all that the four of them could do to get the stupid ring.  And now Mark couldn’t imagine how the damned thing would be of any value to them.

            “I know a guy who deals in jewelry,” Wes was saying.  “He’ll know people who can fence this thing properly.”

            “He’ll also know that the diamond is probably engraved,” Mark pointed out.  “You’d have to have it cut up and the gold melted down to get anything out of that ring at all, and it would only be a pittance!”

            “Why don’t you just shut the hell up?” Wes yelled.

            “Seriously, Mark, why would you do anything to that ring?  It’s worth a bundle as is!” Jack said.

            “Because it’s traceable, and by now, the cops will have an APB out to look for it in all the pawn shops.  We can’t sell that ring as it is.  Unless, of course, one of you knows a wealthy and discrete dealer in Adam Levine memorabilia?  No?  I didn’t think so!”  Mark sighed.  “The best we can do is hold on to it for a few years, hope the heat dies down, and try to sell it then.  But until then…?”

            “Bullshit!” Wes spat.  “I need the money by the end of the month.  Sure, we’ll take a cut, won’t get near what we would if we could move this thing ourselves.  But even split four ways, it’ll be a sweet payday for sure!”  He narrowed his dark eyes, glowering at the back of the driver’s head.  “Of course, if someone doesn’t shut his mouth and stop trying to bring everyone else down, it may only be a three way split!”

            Frustrated, Mark turned to glower at him.  “You know, Wes, I have been wondering something about you for some time.  Why, exactly, are you so desperate to get paid?  You’re the reason we’ve been so reckless lately!  You’re going to get us all caught!  So what is it, huh?  What’s so important that you…”

            “Look out!” Jack shrieked.

            Mark jerked back around, returning his attention to the road in time to note, too late, the bull elk that had just wandered out into the street.  The tires screamed as he stomped on the brakes and jerked on the wheel, trying desperately to avoid the massive animal.

            The car careened wildly, skidding sideways towards the edge of a steep embankment.  For a moment, it teetered on the edge.  And then it went over, rolling as it crashed down over the hill.  It smashed through brush and finally came to an abrupt halt against the base of a massive tree.  The tree shook once.  Then everything was still.

            In the sudden silence, soft moans and cries of pain could be heard from the demolished vehicle.  But a short time later, silence fell once again.

            And then something moved.

            A single figure climbed out of the vehicle.  He gasped, grimacing as he clutched at his side.  He took a few steps forward, unsteady on his feet, and looked at his hand.  In the moonlight, his fingers were dark, wet and sticky.  He gingerly prodded the wound at his side once more.  Then he looked up, eyeing the steep embankment.  He glanced back, taking in the sight of the vehicle.  The figures still inside of it were still.  Too still.

            On shaky legs, he started walking, moving along the base of the hill.

            It seemed like an hour had passed before he could finally make his way back to the road.  The moon had been blotted out by dark clouds which now opened, drenching him with cold rain.  He kept walking, his breath steaming and his arms wrapped tightly around himself.  He was wearing a thin, tight, sleeveless shirt.  His legs were bare from above the knee.  His feet were rapidly developing blisters.  And while whatever he’d injured on his side didn’t seem to be bleeding anymore, it had settled into a dull ache that throbbed with every step.

            But worst of all was the confusion he felt.  He had no idea what had happened or how he’d ended up in this situation.  He was aware that he’d crashed, but couldn’t really remember the circumstances.  He had no recollection at all of getting into the car.  And none of the still, lifeless figures that remained in the car were familiar to him.  Now he was walking on a strange stretch of road, heading God alone knew where.

            From behind him, a car approached, slowed.  “Hey, you ok?” the driver called, putting down the window.

            “I don’t know,” he replied honestly.  His voice sounded strange, somehow off, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.  “I was in an accident.”

            “Yeah, I kind of got that impression.”  The man reached across the passenger seat and pushed the door open.  “Get in.  You’re soaked and shivering.  I’ll get you to the hospital.”

            “Thank you.”  He gratefully climbed in, grimacing as he bent to get into the seat.  Then he grimaced again as he twisted to fasten his seat belt.

            The man nodded and started driving.  His eyes constantly flicked over, going again and again to his passenger.  Well, he probably looked a sight.  He was soaked and covered in grime and blood.  But at least now he was starting to get warm again.  He sighed, closing his eyes, and leaned back against the seat, letting his arms fall to his sides.  In the driver’s seat, the man shifted, cleared his throat.  “What’s your name?”

            “My name?”  His eyes opened again, narrowing.  Then he shook his head.  “I’m not sure.  I think I hit my head in the accident.”

            “So, you don’t remember anything?”

            “Not really, no.”

            “That’s too bad.  I’m John.”

            “Hi, John.  Thanks again.”

            “Don’t mention it.”  John’s eyes moved again, traveling over his body, lingering on his chest and his legs before returning to the road.  He shifted once more in his seat, seeming uncomfortable.  “You don’t seem hurt all that badly, to be honest.  I’ve been on the road a while and was thinking of finding a place to nest for the night.  What would you say to a good night’s sleep, see the doctor in the morning?”

            “Seriously?  Dude, I’m covered in blood and I can’t remember my name, and you don’t think I’m hurt too badly?”

            “Well…” John seemed at a loss for words.  “Honestly, there’s not much they can do for amnesia.  They’ll just tell you to rest anyway.  And that cut on your side, I can patch that up once you clean yourself up.  There’s a motel off the next exit.  Let’s turn in, you get a shower while I get us something to eat, then I’ll fix you up and take care of you.  In the morning, maybe you’ll remember more?”

            He narrowed his eyes again.  “Ok, why are you so determined to get me into a hotel room?”

            “Look, I’m only trying to help!” John defended.  “I didn’t have to pull over, did I?  This is a long stretch of road and it’s not well traveled in the weekend.  If I’d left you back there, you could have been walking one hell of a long time in the rain.  Now, the way I see it, you got two choices.  You can question my good intentions, I can let you out right here and now and you can enjoy your stroll in the rain.  Or you can recognize that I’m tired and I’m feeling extremely generous, take advantage of that generosity, and join me in a nice warm motel, where you’ll be able to have a hot shower and get a decent meal and a good night’s rest on my bill.  Your choice.”

            He looked out the windshield.  The rain had gone from a shower to a downpour.  He shivered again, the residual chill fading from his body, and remembered just how cold that rain had been on his skin.  Something told him that John likely didn’t have the greatest of intentions, taking a strange man with him to a hotel room when that man clearly belonged in a hospital.  He knew he was injured.  But at the same time, what good would it do him if he was forced to continue walking, in the rain and the dark, with those same injuries?

            “Alright,” he said at last.  “I’ll go with you.”

            “You won’t regret it,” John vowed.  A smile came to his lips, and once again, his eyes moved along the body of his passenger.  It was creepy.  But John didn’t seem all that physically intimidating.  He was fairly certain that, even injured, if John tried anything funny, he’d be able to deal with him easy enough.  Besides, there was always a chance that John might just be a good Samaritan.

            “What do you want me to call you?” John was saying, snapping his passenger out of his thoughts.  “If you don’t remember your name, I don’t want to just call you ‘Hey you’ or something.  You got any preference?”

            He shook his head.  “I don’t care what you call me.”

            “Ok, honey.”

            On second thought, he would have preferred not to be called ‘Honey,’ especially now that he’d, perhaps foolishly, just agreed to go to a motel room with John.  But he didn’t bother correcting him.  Exhaustion was rapidly taking its toll.  He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the glass.

            Just before sleep claimed him, a thought drifted into his head.  _Adam.  My name is Adam.  Adam Levine._


	2. The Face In The Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam discovers some surprising facts about his current situation. John makes his move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Lifegem isn't my creation, but an actual option for a memorial utilizing cremated remains. See for yourself!  
> http://lifegem.com
> 
> Trigger warnings, check the tags for this chapter!

            It was the feeling of someone leaning over him that woke Adam up.  He gasped, his eyes flying open in time to see John rapidly pull back his hand and straighten, banging his head on the roof of the car.  “Ow!  Shit!  Dammit, you startled me.”

            “Sorry,” Adam apologized.  He eyed John’s hand, wondering exactly what he’d been doing, but said nothing.  “We here?”

            John nodded.  “Yeah.  I’m already checked in.”

            Adam nodded and climbed out of the car.  The shoes, as he’d suspected, had worn blisters into his feet.  But something was strange.  He couldn’t recall ever owning a pair of shoes like the ones he was wearing.  Something was off about everything he saw when he looked down.  But he was too tired and confused to really put his finger on it.  Adam had done enough partying in his life to recognize that he was very much under the influence.  Whatever cocktail was in his blood, combined with the trauma of the crash, probably caused this odd feeling of disorientation.  Well, at least he had a place to sleep it off.

            Meanwhile, John had taken his arm and was herding him towards the door of the motel room.  “Why don’t you get a shower, get yourself cleaned up?” he suggested.

            “I can do that,” Adam said.  “Some hot water would feel great after walking in the rain, but what am I supposed to wear when I get out?  My clothes are soaked and filthy!”

            “Don’t worry about that.  You can borrow some of my clothes while we wait for yours to dry.”

            Adam eyed the man.  John was fairly thick, with a large belly and stubby legs.  He doubted he could wear anything of John’s, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.  “Thank you.”

            John smiled and slipped an arm around Adam’s shoulders.  “Don’t mention it, honey.  Just get a nice hot shower while I get us some dinner, alright?”

            “Sure.”  Adam casually shrugged out from under John’s arm and pulled free.  Something about the way John kept watching him, smiling and putting his hands on him was making Adam’s skin crawl.  He hoped John wasn’t planning on asking for anything in exchange for this room.  But right now, he was in no mood to press the issue.  “At the risk of pressing my luck, I’m really not a fan of greasy fried food.  If there’s something relatively healthy on the menu, I’d prefer that.”

            “Sure thing!  It explains why you’re in such great shape.”  John’s eyes were roaming over Adam’s body again.  “I’ll get you a salad.”

            “Thanks again.”  John was seriously creeping him out.  “You got those clothes?”

            John produced a baggy sweat suit with lingering stains.  It appeared to have been laundered, but somehow still maintained a slight odor.

            Adam nodded his thanks, grabbed a washcloth and a couple of towels, and quickly locked himself into the bathroom.  Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief.  Alright.  It was fairly obvious by now that John had some intentions for him.  Had the man recognized him?  Somehow, Adam doubted it.  If he had, he likely wouldn’t be calling him “honey.”

            Adam set out the towels, put the clean clothes on the sink, and paused, looking down at what he was wearing.  The white top, he finally realized, was soaked through and practically transparent.  No wonder John was leering.  It clung to his form, emphasizing curves he’d never realized he’d developed.  Adam frowned.  Had he really let himself go that much?  For heaven’s sake, looking down, it almost looked like he had cleavage!  He must look like a contestant in a wet t-shirt contest!

            He turned, facing the mirror, and was startled to see a strange face looking back at him.  “Shit!” he swore.  “I’m sorry, I…”

            The other person, it appeared, was as shocked and surprised as Adam was.  Adam froze, realizing that what he’d taken for a mirror above the sink was actually… a mirror above the sink.  But the face looking back at him from that mirror was not his own.  Startled green eyes peered out from a pale face.  Soaked dark hair was plastered to his head, long enough that it hung to just below his chin.  As he’d suspected, the white shirt clung to his body, transparent and revealing every inch of skin.  But the curviness he’d noticed wasn’t pudge.  A set of well-defined _breasts_ poked out the front of the white shirt – _blouse_ – unhindered by a bra.  What he’d mistaken for tight black shorts was actually a miniskirt, tight and barely long enough to cover whatever he was wearing under it.  The odd shoes were platform dress sandals.  The green eyes were smudged with dark make-up that had run in the rain.  A cheap looking gold necklace and earrings completed the outfit.  On the index finger of his right hand, a gold diamond ring glimmered.

            Adam raised the ring, taking in the inscription.  His memories were slowly returning.  Leaving Blake’s house for his flight back to L. A.  The plane, the storm.  He remembered the blinding flash followed by an explosion.  Then looking out, seeing the fire erupt from the engine on the wing, and the mask dropping from the ceiling.  Then came the terrifying descent out of the sky, the sudden change in pressure in his ears, the shaking of the plane, the screams…  He didn’t remember the actual crash, but looking at the ring, it seemed clear that he’d been in a fatal accident.  After all, that was the Lifegem he’d arranged to have made after his death on his left index finger.  Or someone’s index finger.  Either this was someone’s idea of a cruel, sick joke, complete with elaborate special effects, or he hadn’t survived that crash.  Now somehow, he was wearing his own Lifegem while inside the body of a strange woman.

            A strange woman in a strange motel room.

            A strange woman in a strange motel room with a strange man who obviously believed that he – she? – was willing to offer something in exchange for a ride, a room, and a meal.  Adam had come here believing that he could fight John off if the man tried to push him.  But looking at the slight figure of the woman in the mirror, he wasn’t so sure.

            Not knowing what else to do, he pulled off his wet clothing, stared in dismay when he discovered the pink panties, quickly pulled them off, and then blushed at the sight of the naked woman in the mirror.  He’d never been self-conscious, but now, he didn’t know where to look.  Alright, priorities.  Tend to injuries first.  Fortunately the blood on his shirt had come from a cut on his stomach that, while long, was fairly superficial.  It stung and burned when he cleaned it at the sink, but he didn’t think he’d need stitches.  He discovered a bump and laceration on his head he hadn’t been aware of.  That explained his memory, along with whatever the hell had happened that he was somehow here, in this form.  He had a number of other bumps and bruises, probably from the accident, and he was still very much under the influence of whatever the girl whose body he now inhabited had imbibed.  But overall, nothing seemed too bad.  Considering he was the only survivor from the car, Adam considered himself very lucky for a number of reasons.  One thing he knew for certain – he wasn’t about to take off the Lifegem unless forced.  He had no idea why he was here, but he suspected that the diamond had played a part.  Until he knew for sure, the ring stayed where it was.

            As he stepped into the shower, he wasn’t sure what to do.  He had to deal with a whole new world here.  The female body wasn’t unfamiliar to him by any means.  He’d had his share of lovers of both sexes, and had certainly showered with women before.  But somehow, being on the inside made it all very different.  Breasts looked nice, but they were very much in the way.  He wasn’t anything approaching fat, but the wide hips threw him off, especially when they bumped against the walls.  And he’d never had his hair this long, to where it could fall into his eyes.  He overestimated how much shampoo he’d need and ended up rinsing suds for a while.  Next he scrubbed his face, arms, legs and stomach.  Then, blushing fiercely, he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and finished.  How did women manage this?  His body seemed acutely sensitive and embarrassingly responsive.  It had been bad enough when he’d get a stiffy in the shower.  Now he had to deal with perky nipples that appeared to be interested in new careers as tacks.  And how, exactly, was he supposed to clean everything between his legs?  Good heavens, what was he supposed to do if he was still in this body when its monthly visit happened?  He shuddered, feeling guilty about any negative thought or comment he may have ever made towards any woman ever.  Women simply were not given enough credit.

            Adam stepped out of the shower, gingerly toweled off, and rubbed thoughtfully at his legs.  Smooth now, but eventually he’d have to shave them.  How the hell do you shave the limbs you’re currently using to stand?  Holy shit, he’d have to shave under his arms, and…  His face flamed as he realized what else was currently clean-shaven.  Nuh uh.  No way.  Adam was drawing the line at bikini waxing.  If he was going to be stuck as a woman, at least in that area, he was about to be a natural woman.

            Now, what did a natural woman do when she was currently stuck with soaking wet pink panties?  And why the hell didn’t he have a bra?  Granted, his experience with both sets of undergarments consisted of removing them, rather than putting them on.  Maybe it was better that he wasn’t wearing them.  But honestly, what kind of woman was he, anyway?  He kind of looked like a streetwalker.  Was he?  Was John an actual John, a paying client?  The road he’d picked Adam up on wasn’t really a good place to solicit clients, but then again, what did Adam know about it?  He’d never paid for sex in his life.  What if he had a disease?  What if he was _pregnant?_

            Adam was about to give himself a full-fledged panic attack.  _Calm down,_ he told himself sternly.  _Think!  You’re wearing the Lifegem, so obviously this woman knows Blake.  He wouldn’t have given it to her unless she was someone special to him.  So, where’s Blake?_

            His mind returned to the twisted wreck of the car, and the still, lifeless figures that were still inside.  His heart skipped a beat.  _He wasn’t there!  Knock it off, Levine.  You didn’t know those people, and you were seriously fucked in the head when you got out of that car, but Blake was not there!_

            Alright.  That meant Blake was still out there somewhere.  All he had to do was call.  Blake would help him.  Of course, he had no idea what he’d say to Blake.  He was alive, in the body of a woman Blake obviously cared about, maybe even his girlfriend.  He had no idea what the date was, how much time had passed since the accident.  He seemed to recall that the Lifegem would take at least a few months to complete.  That meant he’d been dead and gone for at least that long.  If he called Blake now and told him who he really was, Blake would more than likely have him committed.  No, he’d have to play this carefully.  He’d already established that he’d lost his memory.  That was a good place to start.  It would explain why he didn’t know the woman’s name or anything about her.  It was a foot in the door, a way to get back and close to Blake.  He’d let Blake take care of him for a bit, using the memory loss story to cover until he could find a way to ease Blake into the truth.

            All of that assumed that Adam could somehow stay, remain in control of this body.  Well, honestly, if he couldn’t keep control, what difference would it make?  He was dead.  What more could happen to him?

            Adam felt better now that he had a plan.  He chose to forsake the panties, leaving them with the rest of his/her clothes to dry on the heat vent.  He pulled on the sweat suit.  As he’d suspected, it was way too big for him.  His new body was rounded in all the right places and very leggy, although he seemed short.  But then again, he was used to being a six foot man.  But even if he’d been in his original body, the clothes would have hung from him.  Now, he was swimming in them.  Fortunately, the trousers had a drawstring closure, or they’d fall down around his ankles the first time he took a step.  Looking into the mirror, he couldn’t help but chuckle.  The woman in the mirror looked like a little girl wearing her daddy’s clothing, or a bag lady in a burlap sack.  Well, at least she didn’t look like a streetwalker anymore.  He supposed that was a plus, considering his situation.  Shaking his head, he rubbed again at his wet hair and went back out.

            John had returned with food.  He wordlessly indicated the salad he’d set out for Adam, his mouth full of whatever grease-filled concoction counted as a burger in these parts.  “Thank you,” Adam said softly.  “You’re very kind.”

            John smiled at him.

            Adam quickly devoured the salad, avoiding John’s eyes.  In retrospect, it was obvious that John had been eyeing up Adam’s breasts in the wet shirt and how high his skirt had ridden up on his thighs the whole way over here.  Now, hidden away in the baggy sweat suit, Adam felt safer.  But he could still feel John’s eyes on him.  Adam shuddered, steadfastly avoiding meeting his gaze.  Finished, he got up and made a show of tossing his plastic dishes away.  “I’m tired,” he announced.  “Turning in.  I’ll take the bed by the door, if you don’t mind, and you can take the one by the bathroom.”

            “Actually, I was thinking we’d both just share one bed.”

            Adam gave him a sweet smile.  “I don’t think so.  I never agreed to sleep with you, John.”

            John got up, wiping at his mouth.

            Adam edged towards the door.  He braced, ready for fight or flight.  Running barefoot with blisters would be difficult.  But he was sure he’d break his neck if he tried to run in those stupid fancy sandals he’d been wearing.  Barefoot would be his best bet.

            But John didn’t come towards him.  “My turn for the shower,” he announced, heading towards the bathroom.

            Adam breathed a sigh of relief.  “Do you have a phone I can borrow?” he asked.  “I need to make a call.”

            John pointed at the phone next to the bed.  “Use that and call collect,” he announced.  “But you should know, it’s 0300.  Whoever you’re thinking to call, especially since you’re asking them to pay for the call?  You might want to wait until morning.”

            “Oh.”  Adam hadn’t had any idea of what time it was.  For that matter, he didn’t know the date!  Well, that was easy to fix.  “Um, what day is today?”

            John gave him a puzzled look, but recited the date.

            Adam kept his poker face until John was in the bathroom.  Then he lay down on the bed, facing the window, and shivered.  A year.  It was over a _year_ since he’d gotten on that plane!

            What could have happened?  And what the hell was he supposed to do now?

****

            At some point, Adam had fallen asleep.  But he woke with a start when a heavy body suddenly climbed on top of him, pressing him down into the bed.  He yelped and shoved at John.  “What are you doing?  Stop!  Get off of me!”

            “Stop being such a tease, honey,” John ordered.  The man had apparently just finished his shower.  He was naked, straddling Adam as he lay on the bed.  He quickly caught Adam’s wrists and pinned them above his head.  Then his eyes moved appraisingly over Adam’s body.  “Look at you!  You thought you could walk around with your little see-through blouse and your tight little skirt, advertising for the whole world to see, and not be expected to follow through?”

            That line had always irritated the piss out of Adam, even when it hadn’t been directed at him.  He scowled, trying to pull his hands free.  “I wasn’t advertising shit, you son of a bitch!  I can wear whatever the hell I want.  It doesn’t give you the right to put your hands on me!  Let me go!”

            John pinned both of Adam’s wrists with one hand, holding them easily above Adam’s head as he struggled.  His other hand traced a line down his abdomen, where his fingers grasped the hem of the sweater.  “All I’m doing is holding up my end of the bargain.  I told you I was going to help you, patch you up.  Remember?” he reminded.  “Now, let’s see what’s going on under here.”

            Adam squirmed frantically, but couldn’t stop the man from pulling up the oversized sweater.  And a moment later, he was exposed.  One of the big hands was moving up his abdomen, probing at his wound.  But the man’s dark eyes were fixed considerably higher.  Adam’s face burned in humiliation.  Near as he could tell, this body was only a little over five feet tall and maybe 100 pounds.  He was no match for the rapist pinning him now.  He fought with all his strength, but could barely move the man.  Adam cursed his own stupidity.  He should have called Blake, regardless of what time it was.  He should have run out while John was in the shower, maybe gone to the front office for help.  At the very least, he should have tried to find some sort of weapon, anything he could have used to defend himself.  But instead, he’d been so exhausted, confused, and intoxicated that he’d simply dropped off in the warm bed.  Adam’s head was still fuzzy.  The woman whose body he now possessed didn’t have the size and strength that Adam was used to.  He had no idea how to fight as a petite woman.  Even as a man, he’d never had anything this bad happen to him before.  John was on top of him before he was awake, pinned him before he could react, and now he was trapped.  He kicked and struggled, trying hard not to panic as John stared, wide-eyed, at his breasts.  The man’s breath was coming quicker, his eyes alive with interest.  Suddenly Adam realized why.  His struggles were making his exposed breasts bounce and shake.  Everything he was doing to try to free himself was only making it worse.  “You’re not raping me!” Adam yelled.  “You’re not!  Let me go!”

            “Calm down, honey.  Now, this wound isn’t anything at all.  You’ll be just fine!”  John made a show of tracing the wound before his hand moved further up, cupping one breast and squeezing it.  “Now, you knew why I brought you here.  Stop playing hard to get?”

            “I’m not playing shit!  Get off of me!”

            “You don’t get to back out after you accepted my hospitality, honey.  Now, how about we get down to business, huh?  It’s been a while since I had a pretty young girl like you!”

            “Don’t you touch me, you sick bastard!”

            The hand was gently massaging, moving from one breast to the other.  “You’ll like it.  See?  You already do!”

            “I don’t like anything!”

            “Couple of things here are making a liar out of you, or is it just cold in here?”

            Adam felt his face flame again.  He didn’t like anything that the man was doing to him.  It was giving him no pleasure at all.  But he didn’t have any more control over this body than he’d had in his original.  Adam was aware that the human body was hardwired to respond to stimulation, regardless of if it was wanted or unwanted.  Both male and female rape victims had even experienced orgasm during the assault despite the trauma.  But to actually experience it?  Even though the body wasn’t his own, Adam was inside of it.  And the humiliation, the knowledge that his body was responding even this much, was horrible.  He cried out, trying desperately to free his wrists.  He couldn’t just let this happen.  He had to fight, to do something!  “Leave me alone!”

            “Just relax, honey.  I won’t hurt you.  Unless you want me to?”  He pinched the nipple and smiled when Adam yelped in pain.  “Now wasn’t that fun?”

            Adam responded by trying to bite him.  John quickly jerked his hand away.  Then he caught Adam’s throat in a tight grip.  Adam gasped and stilled.  “That’s better.  Such a pretty girl,” John crooned.  “You’re so beautiful, like a little cat with your little green eyes and your button nose!”

            “Take your fucking hands off of me!”

            The hand on his throat moved to his chin, where it gave his head a small shake.  “Now now, no one likes a girl with a potty mouth!”  The thumb brushed against Adam’s lips.  “I got a better use for those lips anyway.”

            Adam snarled.  “Just try it, motherfucker!  Anything you put into my mouth, you’re going to lose!”

            “Oh, I’m sure.  I wasn’t talking about that anyway.”

            To Adam’s disgust, John kissed him.  He managed to tear his face away from the kiss, but now John was leaning down to nuzzle at his neck.  His hand slid down again to grope and squeeze at Adam’s breasts.  Adam started to panic.  _This is going to happen.  I can’t fight him.  He’s too big, too strong, and I’m just too small in this body!  He’s really going to rape me!_   It was too much to stand.  “No!” he screamed.  “Get off of me!  _Get off!”_   Setting his heels into the bed, Adam bucked his hips up and to the side.

            It worked.  John, surprised, was thrown, falling off the bed.  The big man was able to keep his grip on Adam’s wrists, dragging his petite form down on top of him.  Adam quickly brought up a knee as he fell onto John.  His aim was good.  His weight landed squarely on John’s balls.

            John’s mouth flew open into a wide O.  He gave a high-pitched squeal and his eyes bulged.  Releasing Adam, his hands flew to his groin.

            Adam was up in an instant.  He bolted for the door and raced out into the night.  Fortunately, it had finally stopped raining, but the parking lot was full of puddles.  He splashed through them, barefoot, until he reached the main office.  Then he was pounding on the door, screaming for attention.


	3. Late Night Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake is awakened in the dead of night by a call from a strange woman, desperately pleading for help.

            Blake was deep in a sound sleep when he was awakened by the incessant ringing of his phone.  He groaned, fumbled for it, and answered without opening his eyes.  “’Lo?” he mumbled.

            “Blake!  Oh, thank God!  Blake, I need your help.”

            “Mmm?”  Blake still hadn’t opened his eyes, but he frowned.  He didn’t recognize the voice.  But whoever the strange woman was, she sounded scared and desperate.  “Who is this?”

            “I don’t know!”

            “What do you mean you don’t know?”

            “I mean I don’t know who I am!  I was in an accident, and I know I know you and obviously I know your number, but I don’t know who I am or how we’re connected.  Please, just come, Blake, ok?”

            And now Blake’s eyes opened.  He sat up, sleep falling away like his blankets.  “You don’t know who you are, but you know me?”

            “Yes!  Look, we can discuss it when you get here, alright?  Right now, I just need you to come and get me!  Please!”

            “Alright, I’m coming, darlin’, just calm down and tell me where you are.”  He had her repeat the address twice, writing it down.  “I have no idea where that is.  Let me bust out the GPS.  I know of the town, but it’s fairly far out.  It’ll be well over an hour before I can get there.”

            “That’s ok.  I’m fine as long as I know you’re coming.”  The relief in the poor girl’s voice was palpable.

            “You sure you’re ok, honey?”

            She paused.  “Could you maybe not call me that right now?  I just had a really bad experience and I can’t take being called that for a bit.”

            That made Blake frown.  “What happened?”

            “I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.  Just get here, Blake!  Please, come and get me!”

            “Alright, alright!  Let me get dressed and I’ll be out there in a scootch.  Listen, you obviously have my number, so you can call me if you need me before I get there.  Where will you be?”

            “I’m not leaving the lobby.  The police want me to come to the station and press charges…”

            “Wait, what?”  Blake was wide awake now.

            “…But I’m not going anywhere without you.  They’re giving me some weird looks, too, Blake.  I don’t know what to do, or who to trust!  You’re the only one who can help me.  Please, just come get me?”

            “I’m coming, I’m coming!”  Blake was already pulling on his clothes.  “You stay in the lobby like you said and wait for me.  Anyone has a problem with it, you let them talk to me, alright?”

            The girl breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank you.”

            “No problem.  I’ll see you soon.”

            Blake didn’t hang up until she did.  He couldn’t place her voice, but several things were apparent.  She was young.  She was scared.  She was in some kind of trouble.  And she was somehow familiar, even though her voice wasn’t.

            Blake spent the trip trying to figure out who she was.  He fractured a few minor speed laws, managed to avoid a ticket by the grace of God, and pulled into what looked like a no-tell motel just as the sun was starting to come up.  He frowned.  At a glance he could tell it was no place for a young girl.  The faster he got her out of here, the better.  He climbed out of his truck and jogged into the main office.

            “Hi,” he called to the man at the front desk.  “I’m…”

            _“Blake!_   Oh, thank God!”

            Suddenly Blake found himself glomped.  He blinked in surprise, looking down at the waif of a young girl in a sweat suit about three times too big for her that was clinging to him for dear life.  He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, feeling her shaking as she clung.  “Hey, it’s alright now,” he soothed.  “Calm down, darlin’, everything’s gonna be just fine.”

            “It is now you’re here.  Oh, Blake, I’m so glad to see you!”  For a little thing, she had a hell of a death grip.  She clung to Blake as if she would drown otherwise.  “Part of me thought you wouldn’t come.  I’m so glad you did!”

            “Obviously.  I told you I was coming, and I’m here.  Now, how about you let go of me so I can get a look at you, and we can try to puzzle out what happened?”

            She nodded, reluctantly let him go, and stepped back.

            All the blood drained out of Blake’s face.  It was her, the green-eyed bitch who had taken Adam, pried him from Blake’s finger.  Here she stood, smiling up at him as if nothing had happened.  And there, shining on the index finger of her right hand, was Adam.  _She kept him!  She hasn’t sold him yet, but she’s wearing him, this fucking bitch is WEARING ADAM!_

            The look on Blake’s face seemed to alert her.  Her smile faltered, turned into a puzzled frown.  “Blake?” she asked.  “What’s wrong?”  Her eyes moved over him, noting his injuries, and her frown deepened.  “Wait a minute, you’re covered with cuts and bruises, and are those stitches?  What happened to you?”

            _What happened to me?  YOU fucking happened to me!_   If she’d been a man, Blake would have laid her out.  As it was, it was all he could do to hold himself in check.  For a moment, Blake was too busy focusing on not attacking her to answer.  His eyes were locked on Adam on her finger.  The gleam of his facets in the overhead light almost seemed to mock him. 

            She noticed the direction of his gaze and fidgeted, clenching her hands almost self-consciously to partially obscure the ring.  “It’s how I knew to call you,” she explained.  “I knew if you gave this to me, that I must be someone special to you, so…”

            “ _Gave_ this to you?!”

            She blinked, taken aback.  “Like I said, I lost my memory.  So I’m not sure if we’re dating, or just close friends, or what our relationship is, but…”

            “Our relationship.”  Blake’s voice was suddenly devoid of emotion.

            The brazen bitch seemed oblivious to her own mortality.  She dared to take Blake’s hand, clutching it tightly in both of hers and holding it to her chest.  Blake stared at Adam shining on her finger, barely registering that she was speaking again.  “Did we have a fight or something, Blake?  Is that how I ended up in that car?  I really hope you didn’t know those other people in the car, but there isn’t anything we can do for them now.  The important thing is that you’re here now, and we’re together!  Whatever it is that went down between us, we’ll work it out!”  She smiled shyly.  “I was so scared, Blake!  I…”

            “Give him back.”

            She looked up, blinking in surprise at the menace in Blake’s expression.  “Give who back?”

            Blake roughly jerked his hand free.  Then he pointed an accusing finger at the ring.  “You know damned well who!  Adam!  Give him back!  _Give him back to me, you little bitch!”_

            Her jaw dropped, and her green eyes went wide in shock.

            “Then it is your ring, Mr. Shelton?”  It was one of a pair of cops.  The two had been waiting in the lobby, silently watching the exchange.  “The description of both the ring and this woman matched.  We were going to call you, but she beat us to it.  Once we realized you were coming out here, we thought it best to just wait for confirmation.”

            “Oh, it’s confirmed!”  Blake’s blue eyes were furious as he stared at the wide-eyed girl.  “This is one of the punks who mugged me, and that’s the ring she stole.  Now give him back!”

            The girl sputtered.  “What?  _What?_   Mugged you?  Is that what…?  Wait, you think that I…!  Holy shit, Blake, you’ve got it all wrong!  I didn’t mug you!  Well, maybe she did, but like I told you, I can’t remember anything, so…”

            “I don’t care!  Just give him back!”

            “Ma’am?”  The cop was looking at the girl with a stern expression.  “You need to return Mr. Shelton’s property to him.”

            Her eyes were wild.  She clutched her hand with the ring, using her other hand to cover it.  “I can’t!”

            “Oh, I assure you, you can!” Blake declared.  He sternly held out his hand.  “Give him back.  Now!”

            “Blake, you don’t understand!”  Her eyes were pleading and desperate as she looked up at him, still clutching the ring.  “I need to talk to you, someplace private, and explain everything!  Or at least as much of it as I can explain.  Hell, I don’t understand this myself!  But I do know that this ring is the only reason I’m here now.  If I take it off, God only knows what’s going to happen to me!”

            “You’re going to jail, that’s what’s going to happen to you!” Blake yelled.  “You and your punk-ass friends!  Give him back!”

            “My punk-ass friends are probably the dead guys back in the car I climbed out of earlier!” she yelled back.  “What part of ‘I was in an accident’ do you not understand?”

            “We did find a wrecked car over in the next county,” the police officer confirmed.  “Three male victims, deceased.  Their descriptions match those of the men involved in your assault, Mr. Shelton.”

            “I can’t say I’m going to shed a tear that they’re gone,” Blake said.  “They all looked drunk, high, or both when they attacked me.  I’m just glad they didn’t hurt anyone else before they crashed.  Now she can go to jail and mourn for ‘em.  _After_ she gives Adam back to me!”

            “Dammit, Blake, I need you to listen to me!” the girl insisted.  “Something’s happened!  I don’t know what, I mean, the fact that I’m here is impossible in and of itself.  But whatever happened, I know it’s got to have something to do with my diamond…”

            _“Your_ diamond?!”

            “Please, Blake, please listen to me!  I need your help!”

            “Wow, the balls on you!” Blake declared, disgusted.  “You mugged me with your asshole buddies, stole the last piece of my best friend I still have from me, and then you called me in the middle of the night begging me to help you?  How the hell did you even get my number?  You got me racing out here with no idea what’s going on, only to find out it’s you and you’re still wearing my ring!  Now you actually have the nerve to tell me that I need to listen to you, and ask me for help?”

            She frantically waved her arms, trying desperately to get his attention.  “Dammit, Blake, you stupid idiot, you have got to listen to me!”

            Blake held up a hand.  “Just shut up and give him back.”

            “I can’t give you this ring!”

            “I assure you, you can!”

            “Lady, give Mr. Shelton back his property,” the cop ordered.

            “Why won’t anyone listen to me?” the girl yelled.  “I cannot take this ring off!  I don’t know what will happen if I do, but I’m betting the results will not be good.  This is literally a matter of life or death!”

            Blake was rapidly losing patience.  He stalked menacingly towards her.  The girl paled and stumbled back.  Wide green eyes peered up at him in alarm.

            Then one of the cops quickly stepped between them.  “Easy, Mr. Shelton,” the cop warned.  “I know you’re upset, but you can’t assault her.”  Turning to the girl, the cop held out his hand.  “The ring.  Now.”

            She eyed the cop, and then turned her pleading green eyes towards Blake.  “Please, Blake!”

            “Give me Adam back,” Blake ordered.  “Give him back to me!”

            “Dammit, Blake, you stupid son of a bitch!” she roared.  “I _am_ Adam!  I’m him, dammit, I’m back somehow, in the body of this strange girl, and I don’t know how or why!  I’m in this woman and I get that she apparently mugged you, but she isn’t here!  It’s just me, and I was almost raped tonight!  I’m trapped in this body, Blake!  I don’t know what happened, but it’s got to have something to do with my Lifegem, and if I take it off, I don’t know what will happen!  Maybe nothing, maybe the girl will come back, maybe I’ll die again.  But right now, I’m here.  It’s me!  I’m Adam!”  She reached past the cop and clung to Blake’s arm.  “Don’t you see, we’ve got another chance, Blake!  I’m back!  I know I can prove it to you if you’d only give me a chance!  Would it really kill you to just walk into a corner with me and just talk to me for five minutes?  Let me have one fucking chance to convince you of who I really am!”

            “You,” Blake declared, “are one seriously fucked-up bitch.  And I am done talking to you.”  He pulled his arm away, glowering at the girl in disgust.  Then he turned to the cop.  “I’m pressing charges.  But I want my property back, and I want it back now!”

            One of the officers stepped forward.  The girl seemed to shrink as he approached and held out his hand.  “The ring,” the cop insisted.  “I’m not asking for it again.”

            The girl’s eyes pleaded with Blake.  Blake stared back at her, his eyes like twin slabs of ice.  She wilted, hope fading.  Her shoulders slumped in defeat.  Lifting her hand, she gingerly took hold of the ring.  Then, grimacing as if expecting pain, she took a deep breath, held it, and quickly jerked the ring off of her finger.

            When she immediately collapsed to the floor, Blake only rolled his eyes and grabbed Adam from the floor.  He breathed a sigh of relief as he slipped the ring onto his finger.  Thank God.  Adam could go to his proper place as soon as his hand healed up, but for now, he was back.

            The cops, meanwhile, were crouched over the still form of the girl on the floor.  Blake rolled his eyes.  This bitch was apparently determined to play it up.  But a moment later, the cops were radioing for an ambulance, and Blake realized it wasn’t an act.  The girl had passed out the instant that the ring was off of her finger.  And she wasn’t waking up.

            No matter.  Now it was up to the doctors.  At least he had Adam back.


	4. What's On The Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake has Adam back on his finger, but he can't help but wonder. How was it that the girl knew all she'd known?

            Blake was relieved to see that Adam hadn’t been damaged.  The ring was intact, the diamond still firm in its setting.  Despite apparently being in a car accident, it hadn’t suffered a single nick or scratch.  Now it was back on Blake’s finger where it belonged.  It constantly caught the light, drawing his attention to it again and again.  It was almost as if Adam were speaking to him.  Blake only wished he could hear what his friend was trying to say.

            The girl, he’d learned, was named Kitty Miller.  She was twenty-three years old and already had a criminal record, primarily drug related.  Miller had no family or permanent address.  Overall, she seemed to be a drifter.  The three men who’d been with her when Blake had been attacked had all died after their car rolled over an embankment, leaving Kitty as the only survivor.  From what Blake had learned of their records, the world was generally a better place without them in it.  But despite everything, Blake felt sorry for Kitty Miller.  Obviously, she’d suffered a head injury in the accident.  How confused she must have been, thinking she was Adam, attacked and nearly raped by a pervert, reaching out to someone her injured brain believed was a friend in the middle of the night, only to have her delusions shattered just before she’d lost consciousness!  And she’d never awakened.  Now she seemed to be all alone in the hospital, with no support or visitors, no insurance, and no known contacts.  It had been a week since she’d been admitted as a ward of the state, and the entire time, she’d been alone.  No one cared about her.

            She was also a bit of a medical mystery.  Like all healthcare systems in the country, the hospital where Kitty had been admitted was bound by strict privacy laws.  No one except next-of-kin was allowed to be given any information.  Yet somehow, Blake was able to find out everything he wanted to know about her.  He’d learned that she’d suffered a long but shallow cut to her side and a few bumps and bruises.  More importantly, she’d suffered a fairly significant head injury.  That was the reason she was in a persistent vegetative state.  According to her neurologist, she’d suffered a very serious closed head injury during the accident.  That meant her brain had been physically damaged.  She never should have been able to walk and talk.  They couldn’t believe it when they’d learned that Kitty had actually walked away from the accident, fought off a would-be rapist, and then had an obviously confused but otherwise coherent conversation with Blake hours later.  They couldn’t explain how any of that happened.  In fact, the only thing that didn’t surprise them now was that she was in a coma.  No one expected her to wake up again.  She was only in her twenties, but now she would spend the rest of her life as a vegetable, fed through a tube, locked away in a nursing home.  That was a shame.  Along with all the obvious reasons, Blake would have liked some answers.  Why had they attacked him?  Why had she called him that night?  How did she even know his number?  And why, _why_ did she believe she was Adam at the end?

            Adam glistened again on Blake’s finger.  The early morning light that streamed through the window was dancing as rainbows on Blake’s shirt from his facets.  Beautiful.  The diamond had so much fire.  Just like Adam had.

            Just like Kitty had.  The way she’d yelled at him, it was so familiar!  It was almost like she really was Adam.  That would explain how she knew his number, wouldn’t it?  If somehow, by wearing Adam, she’d gained access to his memories?

            _“Dammit, Blake, you stupid son of a bitch!  I am Adam!  I’m him, dammit, I’m back somehow, in the body of this strange girl, and I don’t know how or why!”_

            Kitty neither looked nor sounded anything like Adam Levine.  But what she’d said was so very _him_ that it was uncanny.

            _“Don’t you see, we’ve got another chance, Blake!  I’m back!  I know I can prove it to you if you’d only give me a chance!  Would it really kill you to just walk into a corner with me and just talk to me for five minutes?”_

            Yeah, right.  Walk into a corner with the crazy bitch who’d attacked him and broken and dislocated his fingers to steal Adam from him.  The crazy bitch who, in retrospect, really seemed to believe that, somehow, she really was Adam Levine.  And everything about her, the way she stood, the expressions on her face, the way she spoke?  All of it was so much like Adam it was eerie.  She’d been a hell of an actress.  She’d really sold it!  It was almost enough to make Blake wonder if it were somehow true.  Kitty had an injury that should have killed her.  If ever someone was open to be possessed by someone else’s spirit, it would have been Kitty at the moment of that crash.  And she’d been wearing Adam.

            That was absurd.  In all likelihood, she was just another crazy obsessed stalker fan.  Since Adam had died, Blake had gotten numerous letters, some including prepaid UPS labels and folded shipping boxes, begging him to send some trinket of Adam’s.  Most of them had professed to be Adam’s “Biggest Fan,” and were desperate to have something of their idol as a memorial.  But more than a few had actually informed Blake that they were trying to bring Adam back, to somehow summon his spirit back into the world using some item belonging to him.  Blake, naturally, had never responded to any of them.  But if Kitty belonged to either group, that would explain why she was so eager to take him, to the point she’d injured Blake to get him. 

            Especially if she’d realized from the start what Adam really was.

            Was that the answer?  Had she really believed what she was saying?  Did she honestly think that, by wearing Adam, she’d managed to drag his best friend’s spirit back from the afterlife?

            How, exactly, had she known his number?

_“I’m trapped in this body, Blake!  I don’t know what happened, but it’s got to have something to do with my Lifegem, and if I take it off, I don’t know what will happen!  Maybe nothing, maybe the girl will come back, maybe I’ll die again.  But right now, I’m here.  It’s me!  I’m Adam!”_

            She _had_ known!  How had she known Adam was a Lifegem?  No one knew that except for his family, his agent, and a handful of close friends.  Even Gwen, who was sharing his bed, hadn’t known.  Blake had been afraid to tell her.  He didn’t know how she would have reacted.  Most people found the idea of Blake actually wearing his closest friend creepy, morbid, or both.  They had no idea of the comfort Adam gave Blake.  How just seeing Adam shine on his hand eased the pain.  Made him feel that his friend was somehow close, watching over him, urging Blake to go on when he’d been so close to giving up.

            Made him almost believe Adam wasn’t really gone.

            Blake wiggled his finger a bit, making the rainbows dance across his shirt.  That made him smile.  Even though he had Adam on his left hand until his right finished healing, just seeing him there, seeing the familiar rainbows, brought him so much comfort.  But now his smile faded.  Kitty Miller had known Adam was a Lifegem when even Gwen had not.  How had she known? 

            How had she known?

            _“Don’t you see, we’ve got another chance, Blake!  I know I can prove it to you if you’d only give me a chance!  Would it really kill you to just walk into a corner with me and just talk to me for five minutes?  Let me have one fucking chance to convince you of who I really am!”_

            The rainbows slid over his shirt, flashed around the room.  Adam glistened in the light that streamed from the window.

            Persistent vegetative state.  That wasn’t something anyone could fake.  The doctors were keeping Kitty alive for now, providing nutrition through a tube in her nose until they could surgically insert a permanent tube in her stomach.  That would happen later today, after one last brain scan.  With no family, she was a ward of the state.  They were going to run a final series of tests, brain scans to check for any real activity.  If she failed it again, she’d be transferred to a state-run long term care facility.  She’d already had several scans.  So far, there had been nothing.  Kitty was a living, breathing body without a trace of conscious awareness or thought.  The lights were on, but no one was home.

            But she’d been so animated, so full of life and a too familiar energy when Blake had seen her before.  Right up until the moment she’d taken Adam off of her finger.

            _“I don’t know what happened, but it’s got to have something to do with my Lifegem.”_

            Lifegem.  A diamond, made from human remains.  Adam’s final gift to Blake.

            Blake stared for a moment at Adam, shining on his finger.  Then he got up and went for his keys.

            The hospital where Kitty was a patient was a quick twenty minute drive.  Blake was recognized, of course.  Everyone who had taken care of Kitty knew the circumstances behind why she was there.  None of them could figure out why Blake had come, though.  Blake got a few cautious looks.  Kitty’s nurse hovered by the door.  Of course.  She was probably concerned for her patient.  No one could understand what Blake was doing, visiting the woman who had caused him such pain and heartache.  They worried he might harm her somehow.  It made sense.  They didn’t know about Adam, only that Kitty had mugged Blake and then called him after she was later in an accident, attacked and nearly raped.  Had they known exactly what it was Kitty had stolen from Blake, well, Blake doubted he’d be permitted to visit.  As it was, security was standing by.

            Blake pulled up a chair.  Moved it closer to the bed.  Sat down and took Adam from his finger.

            _Shelton, what the hell are you doing?_ he asked himself as he stared at Adam.  _When Ol’ Red died, you planted a rose bush over his grave.  Now it blooms every year, but even though to this day you still refer to it as Ol’ Red’s Rose, you never even considered that the dog was somehow actually present in the rose!  So why the hell would you entertain the idea, even for a minute, that Adam could possibly be in his ring?  Even if he was, how the hell could he somehow jump into the body of a young girl, even if she is comatose?_

            Blake had no answer to that.  He looked from Adam to Kitty’s sleeping face and back.  Then he sighed.  “Oh well.  In for a penny, in for a pound.”  Then he picked up Kitty’s left hand and carefully slipped Adam onto her finger.

            He sat back and waited.

            Nothing happened.

            Honestly, what did he expect?  He shook his head, disgusted with himself.  Adam, sized for Blake’s finger, was enormous on the girl’s slender ring finger.  The ring flopped, barely making contact with her skin at all.  Well, make it official.  Blake leaned forward and moved Adam to her middle finger.  Now the ring fit.  That was better.  And once again, nothing was happening.  Blake shook his head again, chuckling.  Well!  This was a complete waste of time.  He was glad he hadn’t said anything to anyone.  Now no one was any wiser to the fact that he’d come out here and made a fool of himself.  At least this way…

            “Blake?”

            Blake froze.

            “Blake!  Where am I, buddy?  What happened?  Oh, son of a bitch, I’m still in that girl aren’t I?”

            It was a dream.  Blake felt sluggish, as if he were somehow suspended in some sort of gel.  His eyes remained locked on the ring.

            “The last thing I remember is being in that motel lobby, after John the Rapist was arrested.  You made me take off the ring, and then…”

            The ring suddenly moved as the tiny hand suddenly clutched at Blake’s arm.  Blake blinked, turning his head to follow it.

            “I don’t remember anything else, Blake!  Now I’m in a hospital?  This is a hospital bed, right?  Dude, what the fuck is in my nose?”

            Blake forced his eyes to leave the ring.  They followed the pale arm up, past the shoulder, and at last moved to the face.  The girl was staring at him with wide, confused green eyes.  The feeding tube in her nose seemed somehow to be a violation.

            “Dude, what the fuck?” she asked.  “I’ve got my ring on again.  But you made me take it off, and then I was just, I don’t know, gone!  You brought it back?”  She laughed nervously, relief flooding her features.  Now she clutched at Blake’s hands.  “You brought me back, Blake!  That means you believe me!  Oh thank God!  Listen, buddy, do not make me take that ring off again, ok?  Seriously, that sucked!”

            “Who…”  Blake swallowed.  “Who are you?”

            The green eyes blinked.  “I’m Santa Claus.  Ho ho ho!”

            Blake stared.

            She rolled her eyes.  “Dammit, Blake, I’m _Adam!_   Adam Levine, asshole, your best friend?  You know that!  You must know that!  Isn’t that why you brought back the ring?”  She let go of Blake and held up her hand, thrusting the ring towards Blake’s face.  “Now, I suspect that the nurse that ran out of here a moment ago is going to come back with a doctor.  So between the look on her face when I opened my eyes, the look on your face right now, and the fact that I don’t remember a damned thing since you made me take the ring off, I’m betting that things are not well with the girl I’m inside of.”  She paused, grimacing.  “Holy fuck that sounded raunchy, didn’t it?  The girl I’m inside of!”  She groaned. 

            “You…  You’re awake?”

            She stared at him.  “You’re smarter than you look, Shelton.”

            “Yeah, I get that a lot.”  Blake’s head was spinning.

            “Whatever.  Listen, I’m reasonably certain that a doctor is going to come storming in here any minute.  I am about to get poked and prodded, Blake!  Please tell me that I can demand to be released and you’ll take me home and not have me thrown in jail?”

            Blake stared at her.  Her features were those of the woman who had attacked him.  So was her voice.  But something about the way she spoke…  “A-Adam?”

            She gave him a look that Blake had seen so many times on Adam’s face that it made his heart ache.  “Blake.  You know it’s me!  Now, are you going to take me home with you, or not?”

            “Miss Miller?”  It was the neurologist.  She stood in the door, staring at Kitty with wonder in her eyes.

            Kitty looked around the room.  “Ok, I don’t see anyone else in here, so I assume you’re talking to me.  But sorry, doc.  I don’t recognize that name.”

            “You don’t recognize the name Kitty Miller?  You don’t know your name?”

            “Yeah, let’s go with that.”  She waved the doctor over.  “Come over here and get this tube out of my nose, would you?”

            “I’m afraid I can’t advise that.  We need to run some tests to determine…”

            “I’m fine!” Kitty exclaimed.  “I’m alright, and Blake is here to take me home, so please get this tube out of me and…”  She squirmed.  “Holy shit, do I have a catheter?  There’s a catheter up my…!”  Her face flushed.  “Yeah, get _all_ the tubes out of me!  Then please give me whatever papers I need to sign so Blake can take me home.  Please tell me I’ve got clothes somewhere?  I’m feeling just a tad exposed with my ass sticking out the back of this hospital gown!”

            The doctor was looking at Blake.  “Mr. Shelton?”

            Blake was still in a state of shock.  He just stared at Kitty for a moment.  She gave him a look.  Then she slapped his arm.  That finally broke his stupor.  “Yeah,” he managed.  “I’ll take h-her home.”  He’d stopped himself just short of calling Kitty “him.”  “You can send me whatever bill there is.  Just, you know, whatever she says.”

            The doctor hesitated.  “Mr. Shelton?” she began.  “I get that you seem to be feeling a bit of misplaced guilt here.  But don’t forget, this woman attacked and mugged you!  Are you absolutely certain that you want to take her out of the hospital now?  The police…”

            “I never pressed charges, and I’m not doing it now.” 

            “Alright, Mr. Shelton, that is your choice.  But this girl has also been in a coma for a week!  She should at least spend the night, so we can scan her after she’s slept.”

            “No!” the girl yelled.  “Just let me go!  Blake, please?”

            “Alright, calm down.  I’m taking you home.  If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”  Blake rose.  “I’m going to go out so you can get her tubes out.  Call me when she’s ready and I’ll take her.”

            “Thank you!” Kitty called.  “I’ll make it up to you, Big Country, I promise.”

            Blake flinched hard at the familiar nickname.  Then he nodded stiffly and walked out.

            He desperately needed some air.

****

            On the drive back to Blake’s place, Kitty was something Adam rarely was – quiet.  She hunched slightly in the passenger seat with her legs crossed and her arms folded over her chest, seeming to be trying to disappear into the upholstery.  She wore the same oversize sweat suit she’d been wearing when Blake had found her at the motel.  The white sleeveless blouse and the black miniskirt she’d been wearing when she’d mugged Blake were in a bag that she’d tossed behind her seat.  The blouse, stained with blood, was likely ruined.  Kitty had eyed the black miniskirt and pink panties with distaste, vanished into the bathroom and come out in the sweat suit.  She’d been forced to wear the sandals out to the car, but they were currently off.  Her slender feet had toenails that were painted cherry red.

            Every time Blake glanced over, the green eyes were staring at him.  But she refused to meet his eyes.  Blake would look, catch her staring, and her eyes would immediately move away.

            After about ten minutes of this, Blake couldn’t stand it anymore.  “Alright, let’s talk.  What are you going to do?” he asked.

            “I have no idea.”  Her voice was small, barely a whisper.  “It’s not like I can go back to my old life, is it?  That is literally over!  I’ve got nothing, Blake.  And how the hell am I supposed to explain this to my family?”

            “That is going to generate certain difficulties, yes.”  Blake kept his eyes on the road.  “Hate to say it, but it might be best if we kept who you really are to ourselves for a bit.  Everyone is going to find this whole thing a fairly hard pill to swallow.”

            “Well, at least you believe me,” Kitty sighed.  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

            Blake didn’t respond.

            She stiffened.  “Blake?  You _do_ believe me, right?”

            Silence.  Blake didn’t dare look at her.

            She gave a small cry.  “Blake!  You lost your virginity when you were fifteen in the bed of a black pick-up your uncle owned, on top of a few sacks of feed!  She was a redhead from the next town.  You came to my place after the divorce and told me all about it, her and every other lover you’ve ever had!  We polished off about six bottles of vodka while you were there, and talked so late into the night that we’d sleep half the day away, only to wake up and do it again.”  Her hand clutched at Blake’s arm.  “You once got drunk, stripped naked, and went skinny dipping in a hotel pool at 3 am in Vegas.  To this day, you don’t know if anyone saw you, or worse, took pictures!  You buried your dog under a rose bush, and you call it Ol’ Red’s Rose!”

            Blake’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.  “Dammit, Kitty!”

            “I’m not Kitty!  I’m Adam!  Blake, look at me!”

            “I am looking at you!”  Blake turned and glared at her.  “I’ve been looking at you!  And that’s the problem, alright?”

            “Why?” she shot back.  “All your life, you’ve always said it’s not how someone looks on the outside, but what’s inside that counts.  Your grandpa George told you that when you were about eight years old, and you never forgot it.  So why are you forgetting it now?  Yeah, I’ve got some strange woman’s body, but it’s me, Blake!  I’m in here, the same guy you’ve known all this time, your best friend!  And no one else in my life has ever meant more to me than you, alright?  Please believe me, Blake!  Because if you’re planning to drive me to the police station or dump me off somewhere?  I’m taking this fucking ring off right fucking now!”

            Blake startled.  “No, don’t!”

            “Why not?  Who the hell else can I turn to, Blake?”  Blake hated the desperation in her voice.  She clutched at his arm like she was drowning.  “Please!  I cannot do this without you!  Please believe me!”

            “I believe you, alright?” Blake yelled.  “I wouldn’t have given Adam to you if I didn’t!  I just…”

            _“I’m Adam!”_ she shrieked.  “The ring was made from my ashes, but I’m here, dammit!”

            “I know!  And it’s one hell of a lot for a guy to process, alright?”  Blake breathed heavily through his nose.  “You gotta give me some time, ok?  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad you’re back.  You have no idea how much I missed you, how much I grieved!  Hell, I would have given anything to have you back!”

            “And now I’m back!”  She let go of Blake’s arm and seemed to wilt.  “But I get it.  I can’t even imagine how I’d react if our positions were reversed.”  She tugged self-consciously on the hem of her shirt.  “I’m freaking out, obviously.  But you kind of are too, aren’t you?”

            “Hell yes,” Blake groaned.  “I gave Adam, er, the ring, to you to prove to myself that what you’d said back there was a lie.  I mean, how could it be possible?  You put on a ring, and suddenly my best friend is back?  That’s crazy, buddy!  But all this week, I couldn’t stop thinking…”

            “Wait, what?  It’s been a week?”

            Blake nodded.  “That’s why you had the tubes in you.  The reason I came today was because they were going to do one last brain scan and then ship you off to a nursing facility.  It was my last chance to prove to myself that you couldn’t be who you said you were.”

            She grew still.  “So, you’re saying that if you hadn’t come today, I’d be in a nursing home the rest of my life?  Well, the rest of this woman’s life, anyway?”

            Blake nodded again.  His eyes glanced over.  The girl was biting her lip, her emerald eyes troubled.  She still clung to his arm.  “You don’t remember anything?” he asked.  “About being… gone?”

            “No,” she confessed.  “If I saw a tunnel or a bright light or the pearly gates, it’s all gone.  There’s nothing, not after the crash, or during the time I had the ring off.  I know I wasn’t here, but I have no idea where I was.”

            “What do you remember?”

            She let go of his arm almost reluctantly.  Leaning back into her seat, her eyes went to her window.  “I remember being on the plane, the storm,” she said.  “There was some kind of flash, and then an explosion.  Lighting?”

            “That was the official report, yes.  Your plane went through a storm cloud and the lightning took out the engine.”

            “Then I remember the plane falling out of the sky.”  Once again, she had her arms crossed protectively over her chest.  “I don’t remember landing.  I don’t remember anything until I was suddenly inside of a wrecked car.  I climbed out, started walking, and John picked me up.”  She shrugged.  “You know the rest.”

            Blake frowned.  “Wish I’d been there before they took that son of a bitch out,” he growled.  “I’d have kicked his ass!  He really tried to rape you?”

            She shuddered.  “I knew something was off about him pretty much from the start.  But it was raining, and I was cold and confused and exhausted.  So I let him take me to that motel.  I thought, if he tried anything stupid, I could fight him off.  I didn’t know that I was…”  She indicated her body.  “He wasn’t that big, and kind of flabby.  If I’d been in my own body, I could have flattened him.  But this body?”  She shuddered again, and once more, her hand reached for Blake’s arm.  “I couldn’t fight him, Blake!  I couldn’t stop him!  He pinned me down, pushed up my shirt, and…  And…”

            “It’s alright,” Blake soothed.  He took one hand off the wheel and placed it over hers.  “You’re safe now.”

            She clung to his hand.  “I finally managed to get loose and run.  But before that, his hands…  He was all over me, Blake, telling me how pretty I was, and that I looked like a little cat, and talking like I was fucking _enjoying_ what he was doing to me, even though I was screaming at him to stop!”

            “Shhh!”  Blake pulled his hand free and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her as close as their seat belts would allow.  And the next thing he knew, there was a click and she was out of her seat belt and pressed tight against his side.  Her arms wrapped around his neck.  She buried her face against his shoulder and just stayed there, clinging tightly to him, her body shaking.  Blake held her and planted a kiss on the top of her head.  “You’re safe, baby.  It’s alright.  I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, ok?”

            She gave a little gasp at his words.  But she made no move to pull away.


	5. A Date With Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen meets Kitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we're getting near the end of the little preview some of you have had on Tumblr, you may notice much bigger changes. This is what happens when you do five edits on a story. The story fleshes out with each pass, especially as more is written in the story itself. I always write well ahead of what's posted. That's why a "preview" type story on Tumblr or a sample chapter over here as I've done in the past will never quite match the finished product. Hopefully, the changes are improvements!

           As luck would have it, Gwen was waiting at Blake’s place when he pulled in with Kitty.  Gwen’s dark eyes grew wide with surprise, watching as Kitty gingerly climbed out of Blake’s truck, retrieving her bag.  Blake quickly moved to hug Gwen.  That gave him a moment to collect himself.  “Gwen, I want you to meet Kitty Miller,” he said, indicating Kitty. “Kitty, this is Gwen Stefani.”

           “Hello,” Kitty called.  Fortunately, she didn’t argue.  Blake just did not feel capable of explaining things right now.

           “Hi!”  Gwen did a quick assessment, taking in the oversized sweat suit, the sandals, and the bag. Her eyes widened when they focused on the bloodstained blouse inside the clear plastic patient belongings bag.

           Fortunately, Kitty noticed.  “It’s nothing,” she said.  “I was in a car crash, got a shallow cut, and someone at the hospital loaned me something to wear home.  Blake’s letting me stay with him for a bit.  Er, separate rooms, of course!”

           “Oh!”  Gwen’s face broke into a bright, welcoming smile.  But it faded when the diamond ring on Kitty’s hand flashed in the light and got her attention.  She stared at the ring for a long moment.  Then her eyes moved back to Kitty’s face.  “What did you say your name was again?”

           “Kitty Miller.”

           “And how, exactly, do you know Blake?”

           The green eyes moved to Blake, suddenly frantic.

           Blake stepped forward.  “Gwen?” he began.  “Kitty is the lady who mugged me and stole my ring.  But things happened after that.  She got hurt in a car accident after all of that went down.  She’s got no memory of any of it.  Really, she’s an entirely different person than the one who mugged me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get her inside and settled in.  Then we’ll talk.  Alright?”

           Gwen looked for a moment as if she wanted to argue. But then she nodded stiffly, forced a smile back to her face, and moved forward to herd Kitty into the house.

           Blake followed.

           Inside, Gwen was making a fuss over Kitty, getting her settled into a recliner in Blake’s living room.  Then she puttered over Kitty like a mother hen, getting her a blanket and handing her a glass of something to drink.  Gwen tended to do that.  The blonde was a natural born mother if Blake had ever seen one.  But he couldn’t figure out what she was doing at his house in the first place.

           Kitty, meanwhile, looked acutely uncomfortable. She held her glass in her hand and sipped at it, but her eyes watched Gwen’s every move.  For her part, Gwen’s eyes constantly traveled to the diamond.  Blake couldn’t imagine what she was thinking.  But whatever was going through the blonde’s head never passed her lips.

            Finally, Gwen was satisfied that Kitty was settled in.  “Alright, I’m going to ask you to excuse us, Kitty,” she said.  She moved to Blake and took his arm.  “Blake and I have a date, after all.”

           Blake grimaced.  “That’s right, we do!  Dammit, Gwen, I’m sorry.  When Kitty woke up, things just got so crazy that I…”

           Gwen waved a hand dismissively.  “It’s alright.  Kitty needed you more than I did.  But now she’s settled in, I’m sure she could use a bit of rest.  Kitty, it was lovely to meet you.”

           “Er…  Nice to meet you, too,” Kitty called.  Her voice sounded strange.  For some reason, her eyes were locked on Blake’s arm where Gwen held on to him.  But her face had no expression.

           “Kitty, you know my number,” Blake instructed. “There’s a phone next to you there. If you need anything, call, alright?  We won’t be far.”

           Kitty pasted a smile on her face.  “That’s fine.  You two go, have fun!  And Blake? Thank you.  For everything.”

           “Sure.”  He hesitated. “Listen, Gwen, I hate to do it to you when you came clear out here, but maybe it might be best if we took a rain check? Kitty just got out of the hospital after being in a coma for a week!  I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to leave her alone.”

           “Dammit, Blake, I’m fine!” Kitty exclaimed.  “Go, you jackass!  I’ll probably just take a nap anyway.”

           “Kitty, are you sure?” Gwen asked softly.  “Blake is right.  You did just wake up from being in a coma for a week.  And if you can’t remember anything, will you really be alright here by yourself?”

           “I’ll be fine.  The bathroom is just down the hall to the left, the kitchen is right over there, I’m sure Blake has it just as stuffed full of junk as usual, and I’ll even promise to avoid the beer,” Kitty declared.  “I know the code for the security system in case of a break-in, he’s got fire alarms, and if all else fails, the code to the gun safe up in Blake’s room is his birthday.  I’m fine, really!”  Her smile returned, looking a bit more genuine this time. “Blake, I just want you to be able to go on with your life and be happy, alright?  You’ve already done way too much for me already!  Besides, as strange as it seems, seeing as how I just slept for a week?  The only thing I really want to do right now is take a nap.”

           Blake looked at her doubtfully.  “Alright, if you’re sure.  Promise me you’ll call if you need anything at all?”

            “For fuck’s sake!  Gwen, do something with this idiot, would you?”

           Gwen quickly pulled Blake’s head down for a kiss on his cheek. “C’mon, lover, she’ll be just fine! Let’s get going, shall we?”

           Blake knew Gwen well enough to recognize that her voice sounded strange.  But at least she was heading out of the house.  His attention returned to Kitty.  Kitty was watching him with no expression, her green eyes taking in every move Blake made.  He moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder.  “Are you really going to be alright?” he asked in a low voice.

           She squirmed away from his hands and swatted at him.  “Go.  I’ll be fine.”

           Blake stared at her for a moment, debating. Then he finally nodded.  “Call me…”

           “…If I need anything, I got it, you’ve told me like three times already.”  She turned her back to Blake and plopped down onto the couch.

           Blake hesitated, torn by indecision.

           Kitty hurled a pillow at him.  “Get the hell out of here, Big Country!  Or the next thing I throw at you is one of these damned sandals.  I’m warning you, these heels are solid!”

           “I’m going, I’m going!”  Blake ducked his head and ran for cover, nearly plowing Gwen over out on the porch.  He shook his head, looking ruefully back towards the house.  “Geez, she’s stubborn as she ever was, isn’t she?”

           Gwen was giving him a strange look.  “Blake?” she began.  “You are a grown man, and it is not up to me to tell you your business. But that’s Adam’s diamond on her finger!”

            “I know it is!” Blake grumbled.  “It’s alright, she didn’t steal it, Gwen, I gave it to her!”

            “You do realize that you just gave your most prized possession to the same woman who mugged you and broke your hand to steal it?  This, after how devastated you were to lose it?”

            “It’s ok,” Blake mumbled.

            “You’re not worried she might run off?”

            “No, I’m not!  Adam’s fine right where he is!”

            Gwen paused before speaking again.  “And then you brought her right into your home?”

           “Yeah, I can only imagine how all this looks,” Blake sighed.  He took her shoulders, turning her to face him.  “Gwen, you are one of the biggest reasons that I kept sane this past year. I gotta say, I’m damned glad you’re my friend!  But you gotta trust me, alright?”

           “I am your friend, Blake,” Gwen stressed. “I consider you one of my closest friends!  And that is why I have to tell you, I’m worried about you.  But we shouldn’t be talking about this on the porch where she’s probably wondering why we’re standing out here.  Besides, we’re going to be late.  Come on.”

           Blake managed to walk away from the house with an effort.  He knew Adam wouldn’t run away, but part of him was terrified that, if he took his eyes off of Adam for too long, Adam would somehow fade away, leaving only the body behind.  But he had to do this.  He couldn’t watch Adam every moment of every day.  With superhuman effort, he managed to casually walk out to his truck.

            Gwen was already in the truck.  She didn’t say a word when he started it up and pulled out.  But by the time they were on the highway, he couldn’t stand it anymore.  “Spit it out,” he sighed.

           “She’s cute, Blake!”

           “Yes, yes she is.”

           “And she’s wearing your ring.”

            “And we discussed that as much as I’m really willing to discuss it, Gwen.  I’m sorry.”

            “It’s fine.  You gave it to her for your own reasons.  But there are certain implications there, you know.”

           Gwen didn’t know Adam was a Lifegem.  As far as she knew, the ring was just something Adam had ordered before he’d died, a final gift to his best friend.  Thank God for that now.  He had no idea how he would have managed to explain things if she’d known what Adam really was.

           “Are you dating her?” Gwen was asking.

           “Dammit, Gwen, I just met her a week ago, under some spectacularly shitty circumstances!” Blake exclaimed, pounding the heel of his hand on the steering wheel.  “I just got the damned stitches out at the hospital a couple of days before I decided to go up and see her.  Things just sort of happened!”

           “And now she’s at your house, with your most precious possession on her hand,” Gwen pointed out.  “The same precious possession she mugged you and broke your fingers to steal!”

            Blake sighed.  “She doesn’t have anyone else, Gwen.  If I hadn’t taken her in, she would have been out on the street!”

            “Yes, I understand that.  And I’m aware you’re extraordinarily generous and forgiving, Blake Shelton.  But this is just a bit much for me to understand!”

           Blake kept driving, his eyes fixed on the road. “I found out about her, that she didn’t have any visitors that entire time she’d been in the hospital.  So I went in.  I don’t know what I expected, but when I saw her lying there?  Honestly, I couldn’t connect her with the woman who’d done all that to me a week ago!  Then she opened her eyes with me right there, and…  I don’t know. There was a connection.  She didn’t remember anything about who she was before, or what she’d done.  And she was just so lost and alone and…”

            “She needed you.”

           “Yeah.”  Blake chewed on his lip.  “I think that there was it more than anything else, Gwen.  She needed me.  So I took her home.”

           “And you gave her the ring?  Did she ask for it?”

           “It’s a visible symbol of trust,” Blake explained, inspired.  “Every time she looks at it, she knows just how much I’m trusting her.  She was pretty blown away by it, which is exactly what I was hoping for.  She swore that if I gave her a chance, she’d clean up her act.  Giving her the ring was my way to prove that I really did trust her.”

           Gwen hummed.  “And it also marks her as your property, in a matter of speaking.”

           Blake felt his cheeks grow hot.  “Gwen, what we had between us, and how it ended?  The things we said to each other…”

           She waved a hand.  “Water under the bridge.  I wasn’t referring to you accusing me of being too possessive of you or me accusing you of being distant.  We had a really good thing for a while before Adam died.  Then we grew apart.  I’m just glad we can be friends, Blake.”

           “Me too, Gwen.”

           “My point is, I wasn’t making a reference to how things ended between us.  You’re a free man, you have been for months!  But now you’ve got a lovely girl in your house, wearing your ring.  My wording was off, but what I was saying is, it kind of looks as if you’ve staked a claim.  Anyone who sees that ring is going to think it means she’s with you, Blake.  And I’m wondering myself!”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I mean, you brought her to your house and surrounded her!” Gwen explained patiently.  “You worry about her so much you almost cancelled our date.  You watched her like a hawk since you brought her home.  You asked her three times to call you if she needed anything at all.  You get all defensive when I ask questions about her.  And the way I saw you look at her?”  She giggled.  “Even if she wasn’t wearing Adam’s ring, it’s clear to anyone who looks that you really care about her!”  She touched his arm.  “Blake, it’s alright to move on.  Don’t feel awkward because it’s in front of me!  I’m glad you have someone.”

           Blake felt his tension drain.  “It’s hard,” he said, seizing on this excuse.  “The media made such a big deal out of you and me, and it’s not like we ever made a public announcement that we weren’t together anymore! Now I’ve got this sweet young thing, and I can just imagine what those vultures are going to say when they spot her.”

           Gwen snorted.  “Screw them, Blake.  When they come pounding on my door, I’ll smile and tell them that we broke up months ago, and where the hell were they?  Then I’ll not so politely tell them to fuck off and slam the door in their faces!”

           Blake laughed, reached for her hand, and brought it to his lips.  “I do love ya, Gwen.”

           “I know, Blakey.  I love you, too.  But all the same, I’m glad you’re finally moving on.  I just can’t help but be concerned that you’re moving on with this particular woman.”

            Blake kept his eyes glued to the road.  “Alright.”

            “You have to admit, it is a bit strange.  You’re dating the woman who mugged you!  You brought her into your house!  I understand your intentions are good, but…”

            “…But no one else will.  People are going to ask questions.”

            “Especially people close to you!  Blake, what are you going to tell your family?”

            Blake groaned.  “I don’t know, Gwen!  Ma’s going to check her out six ways to Sunday no matter what.  She could be Mother Theresa and she wouldn’t be good enough for Emma.  And Clyde…?”

            Gwen wrinkled her nose.  “I’m still not sorry I gave him a black eye!”

            “I’m still proud of you for that, babe!  What he said was way out of line.  But that’s the thing!  I know Adam’s almost knocked Clyde’s head off at least half a dozen times.  What’s going to happen now?  He’ll have something to say when he sees him, I know it!”

            Gwen looked sharply over at him.

            “All I know is this,” Blake continued, oblivious.  “If Clyde starts, he and I are going to tango.  So he better pray to God that Ma’s there when it happens, or she might just end up missing her oldest son!”

            “Let me know if you need help disposing of his body.  I know a pig farmer.”

            Blake laughed.  “Did I mention I love you, Gwen?”

            “You did, but it’s always nice to hear.  When are you going to tell your folks?”

            Blake’s mouth was suddenly dry.  “Shit, I don’t know!  I don’t even know what to tell them!”

            “Would you like me to call them?”

            Blake turned to her.  “Gwen, you’re willing to do that for me?”

            “Of course!”  She smiled at him.  “You’re going back to Oklahoma tomorrow, right?  For the interview and all?”

            “That’s the plan, yes.”

            “And you’re going to be busy tonight making last-minute travel plans for Kitty, right?  I assume you’re taking her along.”

            “Yeah.  No question of leaving her behind.  I’m taking her with me for certain.”

            “Alright, then while you’re doing that, I can call Ma and tell her you’re bringing along a guest.  Since I don’t actually know much about her, I can get away with giving as little information as possible.”  She shrugged.  “That way, she knows about Kitty, she knows she’s coming to Oklahoma, you can get past the initial introductions then, and you can decide what, exactly, it is that you want to say to her.”

            “And just rip off the band-aid.”

            “Exactly!”

            Blake nodded, a smile slowly spreading across his face.  “That is a really great idea, Gwen!  Damn, girl, you got it all going on, don’t you?”

            “You know it!”  She winked at him.  “Incidentally, I have every intention of checking her out myself.  How about I take her while you’re busy with the travel arrangements?”

            “Take her?”  Blake’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.  “Take her where, exactly?”

            “To Bermuda,” she replied, straight-faced.  Then she rolled her eyes.  “I just want to spend some time with her, Blake, get to know her!  I gotta make sure you’re not getting taken advantage of, you know?  That’s what friends do!”

            Blake wracked his brains, but could find no reason to object.  The idea of Gwen getting to know Kitty was risky.  But then again, if she realized for herself who Kitty really was?  An ally could be useful.  He nodded.  “That sounds like a good idea,” he declared.

            “Then it’s settled!  I’ll spend some quality female bonding time with Kitty while you grunt into a phone and arrange transportation like a good alpha male.”  She clenched her fists, curled her arms, and hunched her shoulders, as if showing off her muscles.  “After spending all morning with you, she probably needs a break anyway.”

            “Nice.”

            They both laughed.  Then Gwen indicated the road.  “Now how about we get to the studio?  You’ve been driving about ten miles under the speed limit and the people behind us are probably going insane.  Besides if we miss this recording date, the producers are going to give us hell!”

           “Yes, ma’am!”  Feeling relieved, Blake got the truck moving a bit faster.

            This would work out.  As long as he and Kitty played it cool, everything would work out.


	6. Silent Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Left alone in Blake's house, Adam has time to assess his current situation. Gwen goes on a shopping spree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is "Memories" by Within Temptation  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM6PYawZ8nk
> 
> I just wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU to all the lovelies who have come out of the woodwork to offer their support on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm humbled and overwhelmed! I just hope my stories continue to entertain you. As long as you're still reading, I'll keep writing!

            _You knew they were together, Levine!  They started dating before you died, you moron!  Why the hell should they stop just because you weren’t around?  If anything, it probably brought them closer together!_

           Adam could picture it in his mind, Blake grieving and Gwen there, comforting him.  She’d been waiting here at the house.  Were they engaged now?  Maybe even married?  He hadn’t noticed a wedding ring on Blake or Gwen.  Blake was such a traditionalist that Adam was sure he would always wear a wedding band if he had one.  He’d always done it in his other marriages.

            Suddenly, Adam couldn’t think about marriage right now.

           They were on a date.  Blake and Gwen were on a date.  Right now, Gwen was with Blake, touching him, hearing him laugh, giving him all the things Adam had never given him.  Meanwhile, here he sat, back from the dead only to be buried in a pile of misery under a blanket on Blake’s couch.  He was still wearing the smelly sweat suit that was way too big for him and too much of a reminder of the man who’d nearly raped him. Well, it was this or the damned mini skirt.  Adam had always been a clothes horse, with outfits for every occasion.  Now, for the first time ever, he literally had nothing to wear.  This would never do.  As soon as Blake got home, Adam was going to ask him to take him shopping.

           Meanwhile, maybe there was something more suitable in Blake’s closet?  Anything would be better than this!  Encouraged, Adam sprang up and went into Blake’s room.

            Blake’s bedroom was not exactly a place that Adam had ever spent a lot of time prior to the accident.  He’d respected his friend’s privacy and hadn’t intruded.  But Blake’s personality permeated this room more than any other in the house.  A pair of antlers were mounted on the wall over the bed.  Another wall sported a gun rack, where Blake kept a couple of muzzle loaders and an unstrung bow.  Adam knew that Blake kept most of the weapons in his L. A. home locked in the gun safe that stood in one corner.  Blake used to tell him about how he kept a loaded pistol in the top drawer of his wardrobe, kept there as a precaution against intruders.  He’d stopped when he’d started dating Gwen, afraid her children might find it.  His friend never had gotten used to life in the city.  He owned this house for convenience, so he’d have a place to stay when he was out here for work.  But Blake’s main home, and his heart, was in Oklahoma.

            In fact, there was a picture of the house on the bedside table.  Adam picked it up, gazing down at the picture of Blake, smiling at the camera.  His eyes lingered on his friend’s face before moving to the man Blake’s arm was around.  There he was, Adam Levine himself, smiling and flushed from the cold.  Adam remembered that day, how the two had posed for the picture in front of Blake’s house at his ranch.  He remembered the crunch of the snow under his boots.  The way Blake’s blue eyes looked with snowflakes sticking to his lashes after they’d decided to go for a walk and the sky had opened up on them.  That day had been almost magical.  The snow, at one point, had fallen so hard that Adam felt as if he was lost in a world of white.  The only sounds were the crunch of their boots in the snow, and the sound of their breathing.  He recalled that neither of them had said much that day, content to simply be together.  Adam had reason to be grateful of the fact that Blake knew his ranch like the back of his hand.  He’d been completely lost in the snow.  For a moment, before the house suddenly loomed out of the landscape, it had almost seemed as if he and Blake were the only ones in existence.  It was as if everyone else had been lost in this great snowy world, leaving only himself and Blake.  That day, Adam had felt truly content.  He could have happily stayed with Blake in that world of white, if it meant that he could be with Blake forever.  If it meant that Blake could ever really be his.  That day, he’d done something he’d never done before.  He’d moved closer to his friend and taken Blake’s hand.

            Blake, surprised, had looked down, and then smiled.  “Don’t tell me you’re lost!”

            “Dude, I can barely see three feet in front of us!” Adam laughed, glad for the excuse.  “Don’t you lose me, Big Country!”

            “Not on your life, Rockstar!”  And the big hand had closed over his, leading Adam unerringly to the house.

            By the time that picture had been taken, it had been more than the cold that had reddened Adam’s cheeks.

            Adam gently returned the picture in its frame to the table.  He was still smiling at the memory, but it took him a moment to remember why he’d come in here?

            Oh, right, clothes.

           Unfortunately, Blake’s closet had one obvious flaw. Namely, everything in it was sized for Blake.  Adam couldn’t wear Blake’s clothes when he was a full-sized man.  Now, as a petite woman, he was swimming in anything he pulled out.  Well, at least he could make do with an old t-shirt and one of Blake’s flannels. They hung down over his hips, but they smelled considerably better than the sweat suit.  The less Adam had touching his body that had belonged to John the better.  Unfortunately, there was no hope with Blake’s selection of jeans and trousers.  Blake’s long legs required tailoring or specialty shops.  Still, he felt much better wearing Blake’s shirt overall.

            Then his eyes fell on something.

            Adam pulled it out, trembling.  It was one of his own shirts.  He must have left it here by mistake when he’d visited last, and it had gotten sorted in with Blake’s laundry.  But the t-shirt was definitely his.  Quickly pulling it off the hangar, he moved to the full-length mirror on the back of Blake’s bedroom door and held it up to himself.

            There in the mirror was a young girl, wearing gigantic clothes while she pressed another too-large shirt against her chest.

            Adam stared into her eyes for a long moment.  _That’s you,_ he told himself.  _That’s your face now.  You’ve got no way to go back to what you were, so you’d best get used to it.  You may be seeing that face in the mirror for a very long time._

            The girl, he realized, was very attractive.  Even in the baggy clothing, she had a nice body.  She was slim and fit, with proportionately long legs on her slender form.  Well, at least she was cute.  Adam didn’t like to think of himself as vain, but the truth was that a good portion of his success had happened because he was blessed with good looks as much as his talent.  It was a fact of life in the entertainment industry.  Spectacular talent wasn’t enough.  Except for a few rare cases, to make in the business you had to be good looking, not just talented.  It was something he’d learned early on.  Adam had always been one to experiment with his appearance, but he had to be careful not to alter himself too drastically.  The one time he’d taken it upon himself to shave his head, he’d been inundated by public outrage.  Strangers had actually come up to him on the street to complain about it.  He’d never made that mistake again.  So he couldn’t help but be glad to see that the body he was in was a hot one.  Lowering the shirt, he put his hand on his hip and gave himself a saucy wink.  Yeah, that was good.  He did a little runway twirl, turning his head to watch.  Good cleavage, flat stomach, great ass.  Nice.  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all?

            Of course, he had to have clothes that fit.  Not even his own would work anymore.

            Adam considered his t-shirt.  He looked at it, smelled Blake’s flannel he was wearing, and quickly made up his mind.  Then he moved to his own room, folded the t-shirt, and placed it on the bed.  It probably would have fit him better, but right now, he wanted to be surrounded by Blake, not the ghost of his old self.  Then he found a pair of scissors and went to work on John’s sweatpants.  They were still hanging off of him, requiring him to pull the drawstring tight around his tiny waist.  But cutting the ends of the legs off meant they weren’t constantly dragging around his feet.  That was helpful. 

           Now he just needed something to do.  He curled up on the couch in the living room and closed his eyes.  But sleep didn’t come.  His mind was racing, refusing to let him rest.  After a while, he gave up.  The silence of the house seemed to press in on him, silent as the -  Nope, not going there.  Not thinking of tombs, graves, or anything at all to do with death right now.  He’d already cheated death once, twice if you counted whatever had happened to him when he’d taken off the ring.  Third time could very well be the charm.  And if he’d been able to sleep before, after that lovely thought crossed Adam’s mind, he was wide awake.  He got up and paced around.  How could ADHD follow him into a different body?  Did that mean Kitty suffered from it, too?  Whatever, he knew the signs and he couldn’t sit still.  He needed some form of exercise, something he could use to channel the excess energy.  Fine.  Exercise it was.

            Kitty Miller was apparently some kind of athlete.  Her body was strong and supple, although it lacked the flexibility Adam was used to.  He’d dragged his old yoga mat out of his room and was in the living room, going through poses.  The stretching of his body felt good.  Well, if Kitty really had been in a coma the seven days the ring had been off of her finger, of course she’d be stiff.  He’d have to rebuild her strength and endurance as well as her flexibility.  That was something he could do.  There were plenty of places around Blake’s house to jog, once Adam got some decent footwear.  He would have appreciated a brisk jog now, baggy pants be damned, just to clear his head.  But he certainly couldn’t wear Blake’s shoes, and the ridiculous platform sandals that were all he had made jogging an impossible dream.  They weren’t even adequate for talking a walk around the grounds.  As a result, Adam was running around barefoot in Blake’s house.

            Adam went to the bathroom – and wasn’t that strange, sitting down to do business! – and took another look in the mirror as he washed his hands.  He gingerly lifted his shirt, checking out his abdomen where he remembered having the cut.  But it was healed.  That was good.  He might be trapped in a woman’s body, but at least it was a strong, healthy woman’s body.  Thank God for small favors.  But then again, the fact that he was here at all was a pretty big deal in and of itself.

            He frowned.  He could barely see into the mirror.  He went into Blake’s garage, dug through his tools, and found a tape measure and a marking pencil.  One mark on the garage wall and a bit of measuring later, and he knew he stood five feet two inches tall.  That was the same height as Christina!  No wonder Blake had seemed to loom over him.  Adam went back into the house and stepped on the scale to discover he now weighed 102 pounds.  Good grief, he was a waif!  He measured his waist with his hands and realized that Blake would be able to almost close his hands around it.  No wonder John had been able to overpower him with such ease.

            Adam returned to the living room and plopped down on the couch to consider his situation.  For the first time in his life, he had no resources of his own.  He was trapped in the body of a tiny woman with no education or references, no family, and no way to support himself.  Until he could figure something out, he was completely dependent on Blake for absolutely everything, from the clothes he wore to the roof over his head.  Nothing about that felt right.  But what choice did he have?  Adam was scared.  He wouldn’t deny that.  He saw nothing but challenge after challenge ahead of him.  But wasn’t that what life was about?  Meeting and overcoming each challenge as it came?

            He’d been born the only child of wealthy parents.  All his life, he’d been blessed.  It wasn’t that he’d never faced tough times and hardness in his life, but compared to most, he’d had it made.  His first album hadn’t sold, but “Songs About Jane” had opened the doors that eventually led to “The Voice.”  There, he’d become a household name.

            And that’s also where he met Blake.

            Adam looked again at the girl in the mirror.  She was something Blake would like.  Adam was sure of it.  If he hadn’t been with Gwen, would he be interested?  But Blake had never been even remotely interested in Adam as a man.  No matter what body he was in, Adam was still Adam.  He didn’t want Blake to want him only for his body.  He wanted Blake’s love.  That was something he’d long ago realized he could never have.

            It didn’t stop him from wanting it.

            Adam scowled into the mirror.  “Blake’s with Gwen now,” he told himself.  “It’s hard enough on the guy to have to deal with you back, no matter what body you’re in.  And he’s going to seriously put himself out for you by taking you in like this.  The least, the very least, that you could do for him is to just be his friend.  That’s all he ever asked from you anyway.”

            Good advice.  Adam intended to follow it.

            Now he just needed to figure out just what it was that people did with their time all day.

            Adam spent some time on Blake’s computer, catching up a bit by watching CNN.  He scrolled through the entertainment section, but saw nothing at all pertaining to himself.  Well, why would there be?  He’d been dead for a year, after all!  By now, except for some lingering fans and those who were close to him, the world would have largely forgotten about him.

            That hurt more than he’d expected.

            He switched off the computer and paced around a bit.  This was getting him nowhere.  He needed something wholesome to occupy his time.  Hopefully Blake would come back soon.

           Adam was deep into Netflix, binge watching “Highway To Heaven” when he finally heard Blake’s truck pull back into the drive. Adam quickly ran to the window and peeked out.  There was Blake, coming around to open Gwen’s door and help her out like the gentleman he was.  The two were laughing, smiling.  Apparently, their date had gone well.  Ah, there it was, that familiar ache in his heart. Apparently, even though the heart beating in his chest wasn’t his, it still longed for his best friend.

           Fortunately, Adam knew exactly how to play it cool. He was back on the couch, appearing to be absorbed in the show when the happy couple strolled in.  Blake took one look at Adam in the gigantic t-shirt and flannel he was wearing and groaned. “Dammit!  I have got to get you some clothes.”

           “Like hell you do,” Gwen retorted.  “She’s coming with me.  Come on, Kitty, it’s time for some female bonding!”

           “Uh, what?”  Adam found himself pulled off the couch and all but forced into the stupid sandals.

           “We are going clothes shopping,” Gwen announced. “Blakey told me that you don’t have anything, and you cannot go around wearing that!  So, it’s you and me, girlfriend!”

            “Um, you really don’t have to do this,” Adam called, anxious.  He’d never thought of Gwen as strong before, but the arm around his shoulders was firmly guiding towards the door.  Gwen stood about 5’6, decent for a woman.  At Adam’s current height, she towered over him nearly as much as Blake used to, back when he’d been in his 6 foot body.

            Blake, for his part, was no help at all.  He simply paced around, anxious expression on his face, and watched while Gwen herded Adam out the door.  Adam shot him a pleading look.  “Um, Gwen?” Blake called.  “Maybe she doesn’t want to go?”

            Gwen rolled her eyes.  She stopped, turned to face Adam, took his shoulders and looked him in the eye.  “Kitty?” she asked.  “Do you really enjoy running around looking like this?”

            “Um, not really?” Adam admitted.  “But I don’t want you to take me shopping!”

            Gwen gave a crooked smile.  “My dear lady, I am worth damned near $100 million,” she announced.  “I assure you, I can afford to take a girl out and get her some decent clothes!”

            “But you don’t even know me!” Adam protested.

            “I know Blake,” Gwen announced.  “I know the kind of person he is.  He’s a good man, with a big heart, and he obviously cares very much about you.  And the first thing he did when we walked into this door was point out the fact that you need some decent clothing.  Now, of the two of us, who do you think is better qualified to do that?  That big, loveable country bumpkin over there, or the woman with her own designer label?”

            “Ok, I really can’t argue with that,” Adam admitted.  “And I do need clothes.  It’s just, I don’t want to be a burden, or make everyone feel they need to take care of me!”

            Gwen’s expression softened.  “Right now, you do need someone to take care of you,” she declared.  “You’ve been through hell, Kitty.  Now you’re all alone, with no memory, not a penny to your name, and no one to help you but us.  So, we’re going to help you.  And some day, when you’re back on your feet, maybe you’ll get your own chance to help someone else!  How does that sound?”

            Adam smiled.  “Thank you,” he said quietly.

            “You’re welcome.”  Gwen gently brushed a stray strand of hair out of Adam’s eyes.  “Now, whatever you may have heard about me, I’ve got great taste in clothing.  By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be such a knock-out that you’ll have Blake rolling over onto his back and begging!”

            Blake sputtered.  _“Gwen!”_

            Adam’s eyes had gone very wide.  But Gwen only laughed.  “Oh, Blake, you know she’s a lovely girl even dressed like this!”

            “Listen, I really am not into fancy clothes, ok?” Adam called nervously.  “I’m mostly a t-shirt and jeans kind of g-girl.”

            He’d stopped himself just short of saying “guy.”  Of course Blake had caught it.  The blue eyes looked near panic when Adam glanced over at him.

            “We’ll get you whatever you want!  But I am going to make some suggestions as we go, alright?”  She smiled.  “I never had a sister, or a daughter.  This is going to be a lot of fun, for both of us!”

            Adam smiled back.  “Alright.  Then let’s do it!”

            “Great!”  She put her arm around Adam’s shoulders and gave Blake a jaunty wave. “See you later!  It’s girl’s day out!”

            And just like that, Adam was whisked off on a shopping trip with his best friend’s girlfriend.

****

            Adam was aware that some men enjoyed wearing women’s clothing.  He had absolutely nothing against those men.  But Adam was not one of them.

            It had taken a bit of back and forth between the sales racks and the dressing room to figure out his sizes.  Gwen had helped immensely with choosing a bra.   He’d picked the plainest of the varieties she’d presented.  Then he’d had the humiliation of having to call her in to help him put the damned thing on.  How the hell was he supposed to know that women put their bras on backwards?  Who did that?  Women everywhere, obviously, but Adam’s only experience with bras was taking them off, not putting them on, and certainly not putting them on himself!

            Gwen, to her credit, was extraordinarily patient.  She’d helped him adjust the stupid thing so it wasn’t pinching him in places he tried very hard to pretend weren’t actually there.  Then she’d quietly gotten several more in a similar style and added them to the pile.  Adam had turned up his nose at the selection of lacy or silky panties she’d suggested and grabbed a pack of boy pants.  Thank God women wore those now.  He’d tried to argue with Gwen when she’d added collection of plain white panties, but she was surprisingly stubborn.  “You need panties, Kitty,” she’d argued.  “You’ll need them for certain outfits.”

            “Your money,” Adam grumbled.  Then he’d started loading up the cart with skinny jeans and various t-shirts.  At his request, Gwen had purchased a pair of jeans and a t-shirt for him to change into right away.  He’d been delighted to throw John’s sweat pants into the trash, although he’d folded Blake’s clothes with care and put them neatly into a bag.  Now he’d just needed shoes.  The stupid sandals were killing his feet.

            Finding sneakers was easy enough.  But when he’d gone straight out past the selection of women’s shoes and started trying on motorcycle boots in the men’s section, Gwen had started sighing loudly.  “What?” he’d finally asked, annoyed.

            “Kitty, you’re a very pretty girl,” Gwen began.  “You had what was probably a nice blouse and a very cute little black miniskirt in that bag, and I love your sandals!”

            “So?”

            “So, why are you trying to bury your feminity now?  Everything you picked out…”  She eyed his selections and shook her head.  “You obviously are more of a tomboy than I thought, and that’s fine.  But the clothes you had…?”

            “…May as well have belonged to another person!” Adam grumbled.  “I don’t remember anything about those clothes, alright?  For all I care, they belonged to someone else.  So please excuse me if I’m not really eager to strut around in fuck-me heels and a tiny tight miniskirt again!”  _Plus, the last time I wore them, it damned near got me raped,_ he thought to himself.  Of course that was stupid.  He knew perfectly well that it hadn’t been his clothing.  Hell, he’d been wearing John’s baggy sweat suit when the bastard had put his hands on him.  John attacked him because John had chosen to attack him, not because of anything Adam said, did, or wore.  But even so, he couldn’t stop the thought.

            Gwen’s face broke into a smile.  She stepped back and took Adam’s arms, looking him squarely in the eye.  “Kitty, I want you to listen to me very closely, alright?  Whatever may have happened to you that caused you to lose your memory, you have nothing to be ashamed of about your body.  Don’t be afraid to show it!”

            Adam squirmed.  “Gwen, I don’t want to wear a dress!  I just am not comfortable in one, that’s all!  I have no idea how to sit or stand or walk in a dress because I’ve never worn one before.  And high heels?  How the hell do you girls even stand up in those?”

            Gwen was giving him an odd look again.  “Alright, Kitty, how about this – we’ll compromise.  You can wear whatever you want, of course.  But just for me, will you let me pick out a couple of feminine outfits?  I promise they won’t be dresses or slut heels, just feminine!”  Her smile returned.  “You really are a very pretty girl.  You look just like a little cat!  Is Kitty your real name, or is that a nickname?”

            “I have no idea,” Adam replied miserably.  “But honestly, I don’t think I need to, you know, look pretty.  No one’s going to notice!”

            “I can tell you right now that you’re wrong.”  She indicated the ring.  “Blake gave you that, despite everything that happened.  And it means the world to him!  It’s the last thing he ever got from Adam Levine.  And he’s letting you run around wearing it?  I’d say that means something!”

            “Er…  It’s not what you think,” Adam said weakly.  “There’s another reason I’m wearing this ring, and if you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about it right now.  But I really do not think Blake sees me like… that.”  _Like he sees you!_

            “Then prove it!”  Gwen clutched at his hands.  “Let me get you a couple of outfits.  This entire shopping trip is on me anyway, so what’s it going to hurt?”

            Adam struggled to find a reason to refuse.  But after he’d agreed to let Gwen take him shopping and buy clothes for him, he couldn’t think of any.  He ducked his head and nodded.  “Alright.”

            Gwen immediately started dragging him around the store.  A moment later, he was being pushed into the fitting rooms to try Gwen’s selections.  And the next thing he knew, two feminine outfits, complete with two pairs of matching women’s shoes, were bagged with the rest of his new clothes.  Adam’s face flamed when the purchases were made.  But no one said a word.  Well, why would they?  It was L. A. after all.  These people probably saw men buying women’s clothing all the time for their wives, daughters, or girlfriends, or even for themselves.

            Oh yeah.  And he was, technically, a woman.  God alone knew how long that was going to continue.  He’d been sent into some sort of limbo when he’d pulled the ring off, and returned when Blake put it back on.  Did that mean the same thing would happen again, if the circumstances were repeated?  How many times could he be dragged in and out of this body before something broke?

            He didn’t want to find out.  That meant he was stuck.  And that meant that there were a few things he needed to get used to.

            Alright, then.  Steeling his nerves, Adam reached out and touched Gwen’s arm.

            When she turned to look at him, he said, “Do you think there’s a dress or two that might look good on me?”

            Her eyebrows shot up.  “I think so, yes?  I saw a red one that you’d look absolutely beautiful in!”

            He nodded.  “Alright.  Let’s find something, then.  I’ll trust you not to make me look like a complete slut.”

            Gwen laughed.  “You could only look like a slut if you tried!”  She took his hand and led him to another store.  “I want to get you that red dress for sure, maybe the white one as well.  It would be perfect for something like a job interview.  Then we’re going to pick out some accessories.  I was going to suggest that with the other outfits anyway.  And shoes!  You’ll need shoes!”

            Adam sighed.  “More shoes?  Gwen, I can wear the same shoes we just bought!”

            “No you can’t,” she announced.  “Those are flats.  You need at least some low heels to wear with a dress.”

            Adam scowled.  “What next?  Lacy teddies?”

            “Well…”  She looked meaningfully over Adam’s right shoulder.

            Adam turned, saw what she was looking at, and his heart sank.  “Oh, no fucking way!”

            Gwen shrugged.  “I’ll leave it up to you.  I get that you’re not comfortable, and I think it’s very brave that you’re at least entertaining the idea of getting a dress or two, even if you never wear them.  But Kitty?  You are a beautiful woman, and I really think that, if you let yourself express yourself, show your power?  You’ll find out just how much fun being a woman can be!”

            Adam had experience of the kind of power that a woman’s body could wield.  He was no stranger to sexual power himself, at least in his own body.  After all, he’d once been crowned as the Sexiest Man Alive.  He’d never been afraid to show his body.  So why should it be any different now?

            Still, he hesitated as he eyed the store again.  “Who’s even going to see that?”

            “No one you don’t want to,” Gwen replied.  “That’s the point, dear.  Those aren’t really for anyone else.  They’re for you.  Because you’re allowed to feel beautiful and sexy and maybe even a little bit naughty inside, even if on the outside you’re wearing skinny jeans and t-shirts!”

            “Really?”  Adam had never considered this aspect of women’s clothing before.  But now that he thought about it, Gwen was right.  The idea of wearing some of the racy lingerie on display in the windows of the shop initially made him recoil.  But in this body?  Hidden away under his clothing?  He imagined himself wearing the bra and panty set on the mannequin in the window under a dark colored t-shirt and jeans.  Wearing something like that around _Blake?_   He sucked in his breath, picturing Blake somehow finding out, what he might do…  But that was ridiculous.  Blake was a) straight and b) with Gwen.  Adam wouldn’t interfere with his friends’ relationship, no matter how much it hurt him.

            Still, he was, technically, female now.  And while he’d never intentionally step between his friends, there was always a chance.  Maybe things wouldn’t work out?  Maybe, someday, Adam would have a chance with Blake that he’d never had while he’d been alive?  What would that be like?  Blake pulling off his clothes and finding the outfit in the store window underneath.  Blake pulling him close, moaning in desire…

            Adam found himself nodding.  “Alright.  Let’s do it quick before I change my mind!”

****

            “You,” Gwen announced, “are an incredibly sexy woman!”

            Adam’s face flamed.

            “You’re going to make some man very happy,” Gwen predicted.  She glanced sideways at him.  “Speaking of men, I couldn’t help but notice that you’re wearing Blake’s ring.  Considering your history with it, I’m kind of surprised that he let you wear it.”

            “Yeah.”  Adam eyed his ring.  His mind was racing.  How the hell was he going to explain this?  “I’m a big fan of Adam Levine’s,” he improvised.

            “Oh, you remember that, but you don’t remember your name?”

            “Yeah, heh, isn’t that weird?”  _Get it together, Adam, you’re going to blow it!_   “You know, I could tell you anything you ever wanted to know about Adam Levine,” he said.  “But not a single thing about who I used to be.  But that’s why Blake gave me this ring.  It’s got Adam’s picture on it, see?”  He showed her the ring.

            “Yes, I’ve seen it.  But that doesn’t explain why he gave it to you?”

            “Well…”  Did Gwen know the diamond was a Lifegem?  Well, one way to find out.  “Do you know what this is?”

            “The last thing that Adam ever gave Blake,” Gwen replied quietly.  “It helped him a lot, after Adam died.  He mourned for him for a long time.”

            “Well, that’s the thing.  You see, Blake’s finally done mourning for Adam.  He’s ready to go on with his life.  And he knew that I loved the ring, and, well, I don’t know what was going through his head.  But he said it was time for him to move on.  That’s why he gave it to me.”  The words stung even as he hoped they were true.  The idea of Blake mourning for him broke his heart.  But so did the idea of Blake moving on without him, even though he clearly had.  _Maybe he’ll be happy now, with Gwen._

            “Is that so?” Gwen was saying.  “Well!  Imagine that.”  She smiled at him.  “Kitty, why don’t you show off one of those dresses you bought today?  See what Blake thinks about it?”

            “Er…”  Adam’s face flamed.  “I, um, don’t think I’m quite ready to do that just yet.”

            Gwen chuckled.  “Alright, Kitty.  Whatever you say!”


	7. Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concerning the fragile state of mind of a simple country man suddenly faced with an impossible situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song here is, of course, "Misery" by Maroon 5. Nut says this should be Blake's theme song for this piece.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cffui_Os9RE
> 
> Artwork is by our Nutcracker! How awesome that she's illustrating her story!

            Blake paced restlessly around in his living room.  He knew he was in danger of wearing a path in his carpeting, but that was the farthest thing from his mind right now.  Gwen and Kitty were together.  They were buying clothes, bonding!  Of all the people he knew, no one in his life had ever had less of a brain-mouth filter than Adam Levine.  And the Lifegem!  Gwen was sure to ask about it.  How would that jackass explain it, and what would happen when Blake couldn’t collaborate the story?  Gwen clearly knew something was up.  It had been all that Blake had been able to do to keep from wincing when Kitty had casually announced the floor plan of the house she should have known nothing at all about.  Then she’d announced she even knew the combination for the security system and the gun safe!  The calm, matter of fact questions Gwen had posed to Blake were only further proof she’d suspected something.  She’d asked him why Kitty had his ring.  Blake couldn’t really remember exactly what he’d said.  He’d been in shock.  Adam, back?  He was dead!  He’d been dead for a year, for God’s sake!  When she’d been asking her questions, Blake had been in a half-dazed state.  Everything had happened so fast, he’d had no time to process it.  What had he said to her?  And what would happen if she decided to check his “facts” with Kitty, and Kitty told her something else?

            Kitty was bound to tell her something else.  And then Gwen would know for sure that they were lying.  What would she think then?  Would she suspect the truth?  Or would she think that Blake had finally snapped?  Why else would he let the woman who’d mugged him into his home, and give her the precious diamond she’d mugged him for in the first place?  Had she really taken Kitty shopping?  Or was Gwen down at the police station right now, having Kitty locked up and speaking to a psychiatrist, about to have Blake collected in a straight jacket and sent right to a padded room?

            Blake was going to have a heart attack at any moment.

            When he heard Gwen’s car pull into his driveway, he was simultaneously relieved and terrified.  He had no idea what would happen now.  But at least the waiting was over.  Now to compose himself.  It wouldn’t do to let Gwen know his state of mind, not when she was already no doubt questioning exactly that.  He needed to appear cool.  Calm.  Collected and completely in control of his facilities.  Blake straightened his clothes and got to his feet, moving slowly towards the door.  _Just play it cool, Shelton,_ he advised himself.  _Don’t give anything away.  You don’t know what the hell Kitty told Gwen, and until you do, the less you say the better!_

            It was solid advice.  Blake congratulated himself on it as he opened the door and moved out to meet the two women.

            Then he saw Kitty. 

            Blake froze in place, taking in the t-shirt, the skinny jeans with the torn-out knees, motorcycle boots...  They were Adam’s clothes, _Kitty was wearing Adam’s clothes!_   And she was perfectly at ease in them.  Even the way she walked was so familiar that Blake felt as if something had frozen in his chest.  The way she ambled along, the cocky smirk on her face…  But of course, Kitty’s face and form were nothing like Adam Levine.  There was also a new addition – a silver stud that gleamed in one ear.  The cut of the clothes outlined her female form.  Her dark hair bounced as she walked, a stray strand falling into her face.  And yet, there, hidden just below the surface, was Adam.  Watching Kitty come closer, Blake felt a curious sense of doubling.  He could almost see Adam superimposed over Kitty.

            Then she smiled, and it only grew worse.  It was Kitty’s face, but unmistakably Adam’s smile.

            “Hey, buddy!” she called.  She indicated the folded clothing she carried under one arm.  “I brought you back your shirts.  Thanks for letting me borrow them without asking!”

            Blake numbly accepted the shirts.  He stared stupidly down at them.  Then he looked back up to see Kitty walking away.  That walk, that familiar strut, was even more obvious from the rear.  But for the chin-length chestnut hair and the spread of her hips, Blake could almost believe he was watching his friend walk away.

            But he was, wasn’t he?  After all, Adam was somehow inside of Kitty’s body, wasn’t he?  And now there was no denying it.  Adam was really back.  He was _here,_ moving back to Gwen’s car to collect more of his recent purchases.  And Blake had absolutely no idea how to feel about it.  His heart soared at the understanding that he’d been given a gift.  He could spend more time with his best friend, something he would have given up years of his own life to obtain.  But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel that this was somehow _wrong._   What had happened to the original owner of this body?  Was she trapped somewhere inside her own body, forced back to make way for Adam?  Was Adam aware of her?  He’d have to be, wouldn’t he?  But of course, the damned idiot might not be able to tell if she was there or not.  Blake had no way to know.  It wasn’t like he could pop into the drug store and buy a kit to test for the presence of spirits in a body, now, was it?

            There was also no denying the fact that Blake found the woman attractive.  He felt tremendously guilty for that.  This was _Adam_ after all, his best friend!  What was Blake going to do?  Make a pass at Kitty, heedless of the man inside her?  Blake had a mental vision of himself grabbing Kitty’s ass like a drunken asshole.  He could just imagine Adam’s reaction to that, especially after what that John fucker had done!  No, Kitty was off-limits before.  Now that whatever lingering doubt Blake may have had about who she really was had vanished, she may as well be in Siberia.  She was absolutely out of reach.  Somehow, that made it easier.  He could ignore the fact of her woman’s body and just focus on Adam.  Yes, that was for the best, no matter how awkward things might get between them.

            Then the icing on the cake was the dull, sick fear that traced icy fingers up Blake’s spine every time the Lifegem flashed in the light.  The ring was the reason Adam was here.  Blake was sure of it.  But just how much power did it hold?  How long could Adam stay?  Every breath he took was literally borrowed time.  What would happen if whatever strange power that was contained in the ring ran out?  What would happen to Adam then?  Even while Blake wanted to shout in happiness at having Adam back, the knowledge that he could be taken away again at any minute made Blake want to throw up.  _I can’t go through it,_ he thought.  _I can’t lose him again!_

            Even as his mind raced with all of these thoughts, Blake said nothing.  He silently moved forward to help with the packages, and then followed the other two inside without a word.  It looked like Gwen had brought enough clothes to outfit two or three people instead of one tiny girl.  Typical.  Blake’s arms had been stacked so full of bags and packages that he could barely see around them.  But he didn’t complain.  He just followed Adam.

            Adam, it appeared, had already staked out a room.  Blake was completely unsurprised to see that he’d picked the same guest room he usually stayed in when he visited Blake in his L. A. home.  _I’ll bet, once I take him home with me tomorrow, he’ll set up house in his old room there, too,_ Blake thought.  Oh, yeah.  Tomorrow.  Now that he and Gwen had finished recording, Blake was heading back to Oklahoma.  Back to his ranch.  There was no question he would be taking Adam with him, but Blake had been so busy worrying about what Adam might have said to Gwen that he’d forgotten to get tickets.  He needed to take care of that as soon as possible.  And meanwhile, he was never letting Adam out of his sight again.  Blake was already cursing himself for letting Gwen take him away.  She’d had Adam for an hour and a half, and Blake hated himself for letting her have him.  Every second Blake had with Adam now was precious, something to be treasured and cherished.  What if the ring had given out while Adam had been out shopping with Gwen?  What if Adam had passed into the next life with no one there who knew who he really was?  No one who understood just how special and amazing and a pain in the ass Adam really was, even while he was still the best friend and most important person in Blake’s life?  No, Blake vowed, if Adam was doomed to pass forever out of this life, it wouldn’t be alone.  Blake intended to be with him every second.

            But meanwhile, Blake had other obligations.  He had to get back to his ranch, which meant he and Adam would be traveling to Oklahoma tomorrow.  But Blake had no idea how to broach the subject.  Adam lived and breathed L. A.  He’d grown up in the city, lived there his entire life.  Would he even be willing to go to Oklahoma with Blake?  _Especially when the last time he went there, he died trying to go back!_

            It didn’t matter.  Adam was coming with Blake.  Blake would talk him into it somehow, and if he couldn’t, well, then Blake was going to disappoint a lot of people.  Adam was the only thing that mattered right now.

            “Kitty has some… interesting tastes,” Gwen was saying quietly.  At some point while Blake had been fixated on Adam, the blonde had come up next to him.  Now she was watching as Adam vanished into the guest room and went to work on putting his new clothes away.  “She’s quite the tomboy!”

            Blake managed a grunt in reply.

            “You’re taking her back to your ranch in Oklahoma tomorrow?  You got everything arranged?”

            “That’s the plan,” Blake said evasively.

            Gwen continued to watch as Adam unpacked his purchases.  “What time are you leaving?”

            Blake blinked, distracted.  “Hmm?”

            “What time are you leaving tomorrow?” Gwen repeated.  “To go back to Oklahoma?”

            “Oh!  Um…”  Blake’s head was spinning.  “Probably sometime in the early afternoon?  I’d like to get back to the ranch before sunset.”

            Gwen nodded.  “Alright, then I’ll give you two some privacy.  Something tells me you’ve got a lot to talk about.” 

            “Yeah.”  Blake’s eyes were fixed on Adam, who was going through the bags of clothes.

            Gwen didn’t seem to mind.  She pulled Blake’s head down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.  “I’ll stop by in the morning before you go.”

            Blake grunted again.  Then he blinked in alarm as the door closed behind Gwen.  Gwen was leaving, she was leaving and he’d be all alone with Adam, and he wasn’t ready!  Adam was here, he was back even though he was dead and he was in the body of a strange woman and what was Blake supposed to say to him?  What was he supposed to do, alone in his L. A. house with his best friend who had been dead for a year and what would they do and…

            “Hey, Big Country?”

            Blake snapped back to his surroundings.  Adam/Kitty was standing in front of the mirror.  His/her fingers were tugging on his/her hair and scowling.  “Do you have any plans tonight?” he/she asked.

            “Uh…”  Blake’s head was still spinning.  “No, I really don’t have any plans at all for tonight.”

            “I know I just got done mooching off of Gwen, but I really need a haircut,” Adam/Kitty declared.  “This hair keeps getting in my eyes!  And I’m pretty much over girls’ night out.  What do you say to a little male bonding?”

            Blake’s eyes moved over the reflection in the mirror.  The t-shirt revealed the outline of the bra underneath.  The breasts jutted forward beneath it.  The narrow waist was similar, but the swell of the hips below it were anything but.

            “Dude!  Stop staring at my body!  It’s creepy as fuck!”

            Blake’s cheeks colored.  “Sorry.  It’s just a shock, is all.”

            “Yeah, you should try being on this end.  Talk about some body image issues!”  Adam/Kitty frowned at his/her reflection in the mirror.  “She’s got pierced ears.  That’s something I was thinking about doing anyway, getting my ear pierced.  So I got this stud, see?  But this hair covers it up, it keeps falling in my eyes, and it’s driving me nuts.  I’d really like to get it cut.  What do you say?  Barber shop?”

            For a moment, it still didn’t process.  Then Blake nodded.  “You want a haircut?  Sure.  Whatever you want.  But I think maybe you want a beauty parlor?”

            That earned Blake a scowl.  “Blake?  I’m not looking for a manicure, ok?  I need a haircut!  I don’t need a fucking beauty parlor for that!  Just take me to Joe’s Barber Shop.”

            “That place closed down about six months ago.”

            “Oh.”  The woman in the mirror’s face took on a pained expression.  “Then take me wherever, Blake.  I just need my hair done.  And if I can’t go to Joe’s, then I want a dye job, too.”

            “Oh, is that all?”  Blake was finally starting to recover.  “Anything else you need?”

            Adam/Kitty looked at his/her arms.  “Clean slate?  Time to get some more tattoos!”

            Blake groaned.  “You have got to be kidding me!  Seriously, that’s a joke, right?”

            Unfortunately, it was not.

            Hours later, Blake was driving back to his house.  Next to him sat a short-haired blonde woman with a dressing on her arm.  “You were right,” Adam declared.  “I kind of did always like the tiger best, too.  Having it back is kind of comforting, you know?”

            “I’m not sure,” Blake said slowly, choosing his words.  “That body isn’t yours, Adam.  You have no way to know how Kitty Miller will feel about all this.  I mean, cutting her hair and going blonde was bad enough, but that will grow out.  That tattoo?”

            “Looks awesome!” Adam retorted.  “She has that stupid tramp stamp that I have to live with.  I say turn about’s fair play!”

            Blake sighed.  “Adam, it’s her body!”

            “And right now it’s mine!” Adam retorted.  “If she’s in here, she’s not saying anything.  It’s all me!”

            “Yes, but for how long?”

            “Blake, I get that Kitty might come back at any moment and kick me out, alright?  I’m fully aware of that possibility!  And it scares the fuck out of me!”  He suddenly clutched Blake’s arm, nearly making him swerve.  “What happens to me if she comes back, huh?  I don’t remember anything after the crash until I was in her body, and then I don’t remember anything from the time I pulled off my ring until you woke me up this morning in the hospital by putting it back on!  So if all I got is now, and this is only my body for a short period of time?  Then I gotta try to make it mine as much as I can.  Because this is fucking weird, ok?  I’m trapped inside the body of a strange woman and unless I can do something to make it at least a little bit mine, I’m going to freak right the hell out!”

            “Hey, easy, buddy,” Blake soothed.  “Damn, I was kind of hoping you hadn’t thought about that, what would happen to you if Kitty came back.”

            “It’s pretty much the only thing I’ve been thinking about.”  Adam had let go of Blake’s arm and was curled into a ball, miserably looking out the window.  “It’s been in the back of my mind since I realized I was in this body!  But there’s nothing I can do about it.  If Kitty wants to be pissed at me later, fine.  But right now?  This is my body, Blake, the only one I can move around.  It’s not like I can go back into my diamond!”  He shuddered.  “You know, I’m damned glad I was cremated and made into a diamond.  I always believed in an afterlife, I mean, I’m Jewish, but I guess my time isn’t quite up yet, is it?”

            Blake glanced at his friend.  “You think you were brought back for a reason?”

            Adam nodded.  “Yeah.  I mean, there’s got to be something, right?  Some unfinished business that I’m back to complete?  The thing is, I died pretty damned young!  I’ve got tons of unfinished business!  I don’t even know where to start!”

            “Try not to think too much about it now,” Blake advised.  “You’ve had a hell of a day, buddy.”

            “Boy, you said, it, Big Country!”

            Blake chuckled.  “It’s hard to believe you just came back this morning.  Feels like you’ve been here a week.”  He smiled.  “I really missed you, Adam.”

            Adam hesitated a moment.  “Hey Blake?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Why don’t you call me ‘Rockstar’ anymore?  I’ve been waiting to hear it all day!”

            Blake’s smile vanished.  His hands tightened on the steering wheel.  “I’m just not up to it yet, buddy.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m damned glad you’re back!  I mourned for you for a long time, and just kind of stopped my whole life until I recovered.  I quit the show, stopped touring…”

            “Dammit, Blake!”

            “Well, what do you want?  My whole damned life seemed to revolve around you, Adam, and when you were gone, it was like the world just hollowed out!  I couldn’t focus, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything except just try to keep breathing through this unbelievable pain!”  Blake focused on the road, intentionally not looking over at Adam.  “Adam, what you said to me, before you died?  Do you remember it?”

            Blake sensed Adam grow still.  “You were trying to talk me into staying another day, because of the storm.  But I insisted on going.”

            “There was something else you said to me that night.  I didn’t want you to go, and I said that I missed you already?”

            “And I said I’d always be with you.  I meant it, Blake.  Even when we were apart, you were just as much a part of my life as I was yours.  I can’t imagine my life without you in it!”

            “That was exactly what my life was like this past year,” Blake pointed out.  “Without you.  A big part of me went down in that plane with you, Adam.  And I didn’t know how to go on alone, in a world without you in it.  For days I didn’t leave the house, didn’t shave or shower, barely ate.  I just sat or laid around the house.  And then my dad started talking about checking me into a hospital, so I got up and made like I was living again.  But I wasn’t.  Every damned thing, every person, all around me had some connection to you!  There was the couch you sat on the last time you were in my house.  There was the spot on the rug where you spilled your coffee.  Here came the gardener you serenaded when you got plastered last summer.  I was going out of my mind!  Truth is, I’d just about given up and was doing a bit more than just think about joining you when the diamond came.”

            “It helped?”

            “You have no idea how much it helped!”  Blake shook his head.  “It was like you’d come back to keep your promise.  And I had you with me all the time because I never took it off.  And that’s when I started to heal, Adam.  You were with me, watching everything I did, so I wanted to make you proud of what you saw.  I cleaned up my act, picked up my guitar again.  I just scheduled my first tour since you died!”

            “And then I came back into your life,” Adam groaned.  “Right at the worst possible time, just as you’d gotten your life back into order!  Dammit, Blake, I’m sorry, buddy!”

            “Don’t be!”  Blake pulled over, and then turned to grasp the shoulder of the woman in his passenger seat.  “Don’t you ever be sorry for coming back to me, Adam.  That’s not what I meant at all!  I just meant that it’s a lot to take in.  I wanted you to understand how much I’ve gone through, so you can understand my state of mind.  I was messed up long before you came back into my life.  And Adam?  You coming back is probably the best thing that’s happened to me since that night the cop knocked on my door and told me your plane had gone down.  Now, if you believe you’re here because you have some sort of unfinished business, then I’ll do whatever I can to help you get it done.”

            “Even knowing that, once it’s over, I’ll probably go back to wherever I came from?”

            Blake swallowed hard and released his friend.  “I don’t want to lose you.  But I just want you to be happy, Adam.  That’s all I ever wanted.”

            “Thanks.”  Adam’s voice was small.

            Blake cleared his throat and plunged ahead.  “There’s just one small problem.  I need to head back to Oklahoma, to my ranch.  And I’m taking you with me.”

            Adam paused for a beat.  “Just taking me if I like it or not, huh?”

            “Ok, that didn’t come out right,” Blake grumbled.  He rubbed at the back of his neck.  “I’m booked for interviews and performances to promote the new tour for a while.  The first one’s tomorrow, in Oklahoma.  Obviously, if you insist on staying, you can stay in my place here for as long as you want.  But I want to take you home with me, Adam.  I really don’t want to leave you alone.”

            “Honestly, I’d rather we both stayed here,” Adam sighed.  “But if you gotta go back to your ranch, then take me with you.”

            Blake glanced over.  “You sure?”

            Adam was still hunched over, Kitty’s pale arms crossed over his chest.  His green eyes remained fixed on the passing scenery outside the window.  “I can deal with whatever comes as long as you’re with me,” he declared.  “But I can’t do this alone.  So wherever you’re planning to go, count me in.”

            That made Blake feel much better.  He pulled back onto the road, and a few minutes later, he was turning into his driveway.  “You’ll have to pack up everything you just put away,” he said.  “I got an old set of luggage you can use.”

            “Thanks, buddy.  And I just want to say, I’m damned glad you’re here, Blake.”  Adam indicated himself.  “I’ve got nothing, not even the clothes on my back, hell, not even my back!  All I got is my Lifegem, and honestly, that’s not mine either because it’s yours.  But I don’t know what to do.  It’s not like I can go back to my band and start recording again, right?  Hell, I don’t even know if I can sing in this body!”

            Blake couldn’t imagine how he would feel if he was suddenly trapped in another body that could no longer sing.  He frowned as he pulled into his garage.  “Why don’t you hold off on trying that for a bit?  I think your world’s spun around a few too many times today already.”

            Adam suddenly looked weary.  “You said it.  But I meant what I said.”  He reached over and gently squeezed Blake’s shoulder.  “You’re a lifesaver, Big Country, literally and figuratively.  Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you!”

            “You’d do the same for me.”

            “You’re damned right!  Although I gotta say, if you were in a body that looked this good?  I probably would have fucked you by now.”

            Blake came perilously close to accidentally stomping on the gas and driving right through the back of the garage at that comment.  Somehow, he managed to pull in and park without causing major damage to property or person while Adam laughed.  He scowled.  “Asshole!”

            “Dickhead!”  Adam jumped out of the car and ran into Blake’s house like he owned the place.

            That evening, the two sat together on Blake’s couch and watched a basketball game.  Adam had always been way more of a fan than Blake.  Listening to him scream at the television was so much like old times that Blake kept forgetting anything had happened.  But then he’d glance over, see the woman seated next to him, and it would all come crashing back.

            Then Adam went into the kitchen for a couple of cold beers, came back out, and plopped right into Blake’s lap.

            Blake froze.  “A-Adam?”

            “What?  I got you one too!”  A bottle of beer waggled in Blake’s face.

            Blake clenched his fists.  “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.  Get off of me.  I’m sorry.”

            Adam quickly slid off, looking at Blake in hurt surprise.  Then understanding dawned in the green eyes, and Adam seemed to wilt.

            Apparently, Blake hadn’t been the only one who’d forgotten, just for a little while, that anything between them had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these pictures! Nut also did the image at the start of the story of Adam in the diamond, in case I didn't credit her. Luv ya, girlfriend!


	8. Old Friends And New Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam goes for a walk to clear his head, and ends up somewhere unexpected

            After the disastrous end of an otherwise good evening, Adam had muttered some excuse and shut himself into his room.  Eventually, Blake had gone to bed.  But his dreams had been filled with images from when Adam died.  He saw the news footage of the wreckage of the plane.  He saw the water running down the police officer’s face as he’d brought Blake the news.  He saw Adam’s memorial service.  He saw the hurt in the eyes of Adam’s parents, the way they’d looked when they’d learned their son had wished to be cremated, despite the fact that Jewish law forbid it.  “The soul of our son will never find rest!” his father told Blake.  “I don’t understand why he would choose this.”

            And then he saw the Lifegem the first time he’d opened the box.  The reflected light from the facets shone into Blake’s eyes, and he opened them.

            He was lying in his bed, and the sun was streaming through the window, directly onto Blake’s face.

            Blake was out of bed in an instant.  Not bothering to dress, he raced downstairs to the guest room.  A horrible thought had occurred to him.  Blake had no idea how it was that Adam maintained his control over his current body.  And he’d most likely gone to sleep last night!  That meant he wasn’t actively holding himself into the body.  Was he still Adam now?  What if whatever tenuous, magical bond that connected him to Kitty’s body through the Lifegem had been broken during the night while Adam’s consciousness hadn’t been there to maintain it?  The thought brought a dull ache to Blake’s chest as he raced to Adam’s room, throwing open the door without regard to privacy.

            The bed was empty, neatly made.  Thinking to knock this time, Blake checked the bathroom.  No Adam.  Blake’s heart pounded.  “Adam?” he called.  “Where are you buddy?”

            No answer.

            Blake moved out to the kitchen, and there, posted to his fridge with a cow-shaped magnet, was a note.  The handwriting was unmistakably Adam’s.  _Woke up early and went for a walk,_ it read.  _Be back soon._

            A walk.  The damned idiot had gone for a walk while Blake nearly had a heart attack, thinking he’d vanished back into the void.  If he wasn’t already dead, Blake thought he might kill him.

            Blake instinctively went for his cell phone.  He had it in his hand before he realized Adam didn’t have one.  Getting Adam his own phone immediately became a top priority.  But at least now he could breathe.  _Adam’s alright,_ he told himself.  _He’s out there somewhere, but he couldn’t have gotten far.  And he’s alright.  He’ll be back.  I just have to stay calm and wait for him._

            Great advice.  Unfortunately, Blake had no intention of following it.  Forsaking a shower, Blake threw on some clothes, grabbed his keys, and bolted for his truck.  Adam was out there somewhere.  One way or another, Blake was going to find him.

****

            Adam had been up since before sunrise, restless and upset.  He’d gotten very little sleep last night.  Over and over, he saw the look on Blake’s face.  How could he have been so stupid?  The big guy had been through hell this past year.  Now Adam had come waltzing back into his life in the body of a strange woman, a strange woman who had _mugged_ him, and expected everything to be the same between them as it always was?  This, despite the conversation they’d had in the car?  Adam was disgusted with himself.  What the hell was wrong with him?  His heart ached for Blake.  The poor man must be so confused right now.  And what about Gwen?  Gwen had been nothing but kind to Adam.  She obviously suspected something, but she’d helped him so much, gotten him an entire wardrobe, even some items that, now that he had a clearer head and a better understanding of his situation, he would never, ever wear.  What must she think about the strange woman staying in her boyfriend’s home?  If Gwen walked out on Blake because of Adam, Adam would never forgive himself.

            It had still been dark when Adam dressed, left Blake a quick note, and had gone out of the house.  The sun rose slowly as he walked, painting the sky with a shifting myriad of pastels that gradually faded into a clear vibrant blue that perfectly matched Blake’s eyes.  That figured.  All he could think about was Blake. 

            Blake had intrigued Adam from the moment they’d met.  The big, jovial country singer lit up every room he was in.  The way he laughed, smiled, moved.  The way his face would light up when he saw Adam.  Adam was fascinated from the start, interested soon after, madly crushing on the man by the third season of “The Voice” and hopelessly, head over heels in love by the fourth.  When Blake had showed up at his home, suitcase in hand and eyes red from crying after his divorce, Adam had gladly taken him in.  His intentions at the time had been completely pure.  Blake needed a friend.  That was what Adam was.  He’d done all he could for his Big Country, fended off the vultures and given Blake time to lick his wounds and heal.  Sure, it had crossed Adam’s mind that, now he was divorced, Blake was once again a free man.  But Adam had never made a move.  He’d simply been there for whatever Blake needed.  He’d waited.  Blake had healed, his smile had finally returned.  And Adam had cautiously made advances.  He’d done little, subtle things to let Blake know he was interested, that he’d wanted to be something more than friends.  But Blake while seemed appreciative of the extra attention, he’d been frustratingly oblivious of Adam’s intentions.  And the next thing Adam knew, Blake was on the phone, gushing to Adam about his new relationship with Gwen.  Adam had played it subtle, Blake hadn’t understood, and Adam had lost his chance.  And then came the plane crash.  And now Adam may have lost his chance with Blake forever.

            Adam was deep in his unhappy thoughts when he finally realized that where he was walking was familiar.  And when he stopped walking, he knew immediately where he was.

            Adam stood outside the gates of the house, looking numbly through the bars at the building.  It was obviously under new ownership.  A bit of the landscaping had changed, there were different curtains in the windows, and he didn’t recognize the furniture that he could see around the pool.  But it was his house, his air-conditioned palace.  And he had no idea how to feel about it.

            _You’ve been dead for a year, asshole!_ Adam reminded himself.  _And it’s a nice house.  Of course it’s been sold off!  Did you really think the world would stop turning just because you weren’t part of it anymore?_

            It was logical, but it still hurt.  Adam hadn’t been sure what to expect when he came out here, to his neighborhood, to his home.  Part of him had expected the house to have a new owner.  But oddly enough, it wasn’t the changes he could see that hurt the most.  It was the sameness.  Whoever owned the house now probably hadn’t lived there long enough to make too many major changes.  Except for the few differences that he could see, the house looked very much as it had the last time he’d seen it, when he’d been heading for the airport and his trip to Oklahoma.  It was almost as if the house was still waiting for an owner that would never return.

            Well, he had returned, sort of.  He was here, wasn’t he?

            Here came another familiar sight – a tour bus moving up the street.  The companies that ran the buses had brought them past his home frequently, pointing out the home of the famous front man, star of film and television.  It was such a regular event that he hadn’t even noticed them much anymore.  Adam stepped away from the gate a bit to watch.  He expected the bus to keep moving.  After all, he didn’t live there anymore.  But to his surprise, the bus slowed to a stop just as it always had.

            “Here we have the home of television personality Carson Daly,” the tour guide announced.  “Star of the popular ‘Chatting With Carson’ talk show!”

            The guide went on to outline Carson’s accomplishments, but Adam wasn’t listening.  Carson had bought his house?  _Carson_ lived here now?  And he had his own talk show?  Well, Blake had said something about “The Voice” not being on the air anymore.  Carson had obviously moved on to his next project.

            Adam waited until the bus rolled on.  Then he stepped up to the security gate and keyed in Carson’s old code.  Nothing happened.  On a hunch, Adam keyed in his own code, the one he’d used when he’d lived here.  And this time, the gate buzzed open.  Adam shook his head, amused.  That lazy bastard Carson hadn’t bothered to change the code when he’d moved in.  Typical.

            Adam strolled right up to the door and pressed the doorbell.  He smiled as he heard the familiar chimes.  Unreal.

            Then Carson himself was at the door, blinking in surprise at the strange woman standing in his doorway, and Adam finally realized the obvious.  “May I help you?” Carson was asking.

            Adam cringed.  “Er…  Sorry,” he managed.  “I, um, that is…”

            Even at this early hour of the morning, Carson looked immaculate.  His hair was, as always, perfectly styled.  He was shower fresh and clean shaven, wearing jeans and a t-shirt not much different than Adam’s own.  His blue eyes flicked over Adam, then widened in recognition.  “You’re Kitty Miller!”

            “Heh, yeah.”  Adam had no idea why Carson would know that, and if it was good or bad.

            But suddenly Carson’s arm was around his shoulders.  “Come in, come in!” he encouraged.  “We were just talking about you!”

            “We?”

            “Gwen Stefani called me last night,” Carson explained.  He herded Adam into the living room towards a chair.  “She told me a few things, and I actually wanted to speak with you.”  He paused, waiting while Adam sat down.  “May I ask how you knew the code to the front gate?”

            “Um…  Lucky guess?” Adam replied weakly.  He was doomed.  So doomed.

            “I see.  Gwen said you’re a big fan of Adam Levine’s.  Did you know the gate code hasn’t been changed from when he used to live here?”

            “Really?  How about that!”  Adam could hear how high and obviously false his own voice was.  He had no doubt Carson could as well.  Gwen wasn’t stupid, but Carson was way too smart for his own good.  Worse, Carson had been so close with Adam and Blake after all their time on “The Voice” that Carson had known the two of them almost as well as they’d known each other.  Already, Adam was feeling trapped.  He perched gingerly on the edge of the sofa with his arms crossed over his chest defensively.

            “May I take your coat?”

            “Er, sure.”  Adam shrugged out of his motorcycle jacket.

            Carson took it, his eyes on the dressing on Adam’s arm.  “New tattoo?”

            “Yeah, I just got it yesterday.  It’s still healing.”

            “Tiger?”

            Adam brightened.  “Yes!  I…”  He faltered, seeing the hardness that crossed Carson’s features for a moment.  Adam cringed and crossed his arms over his chest again.

            Carson quietly hung Adam’s coat up on a nearby coat tree.  Then he sat down facing Adam.  “Miss Miller?” he began.  “I consider Blake Shelton to be a close personal friend.  I was also close personal friends with Adam Levine.  I know that they both have a very large compliment of fans.  But no one was closer to Adam than Blake.  As I’m sure you’re aware, when Adam died, Blake was devastated.”

            Adam nodded glumly.

            Carson indicated the ring on Adam’s hand.  “Do you know what that is?”

            “Adam’s last gift to Blake?”

            “It’s more than that,” Carson told him.  “That ring _is_ Adam.  Adam cared so much for his friend that he even went against his Jewish traditions to have it made for Blake after he died.  It’s a manufactured diamond, called a Lifegem, that was created from Adam’s cremated remains.  His ashes were used to make that diamond.  Blake even refers to it as ‘Adam.’  That isn’t something that most people know, but as I said, I’m a very close personal friend.”  Carson straightened, looking stern.  “So perhaps now you understand why I’m concerned, and why I do not understand why you’re wearing it.”

            Adam’s mind raced.  “I explained that to Gwen.”

            “You did.  And so did Gwen.  And Miss Miller?  What you told Gwen was nothing at all like what Blake told her.”  Carson folded his hands in his lap.  “Would you like to try again, Miss Miller?  The truth, this time?”

            “The Truth.  Right.”  Adam swallowed hard.  He fiddled with the Lifegem on his finger.  “I know this is a Lifegem.  I know everything about it.  Because I’m the one who ordered it for Blake in the first place.”

            “Adam Levine ordered that for Blake,” Carson corrected.  His voice was surprisingly gentle.

            “That,” Adam declared, “is exactly what I said.  I was at a party a couple of years back and I saw a woman wearing one.  She was explaining what it was, that it was made from the ashes of her father and how much that comforted her, to have him near her.  I kept thinking about it.  It was about the time Blake and Gwen started dating.  I was waiting for her to show up with a different kind of diamond just like everyone else.  And somehow, somewhere along the line, I made up my mind.  If I couldn’t belong to Blake while I was alive, at least I could be his after I died.  So I called the company, made the arrangements for the Lifegem after I died, and told Blake about it the last time I visited him.  And then, the crash happened.”

            Carson’s eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline.  Although many fans had speculated about Adam and Blake’s true feelings for each other, Carson was the only one who Adam had ever confided in.  He was the only one who knew for sure that Adam was secretly in love with his best friend.  But he didn’t say a word.  He simply listened while Adam told him everything that had happened since he’d climbed out of the wrecked car, ending with the disaster last night of sitting in Blake’s lap.

            “After that, neither one of us said anything, just sat there awkwardly,” Adam finished.  “The game was over, so I mumbled some excuse and went to bed.  I heard him do the same, tossed and turned for a while, didn’t really sleep.  Finally, I gave up this morning before sunrise and went out walking to think and clear my head, and I ended up here.  And so here I am.  But that’s how I knew the code to the gate, Carson, because it’s still my code.  I tried yours first…”

            “What was my code?” Carson interrupted.

            Adam rolled his eyes and rattled it off.  Then, feeling surly, he rattled off the alarm codes for Gwen, Usher, CeeLo, Christina, and Pharrell as well.  “Convinced?” he grumbled.  “I know it’s a hard pill to swallow.  Hell, I keep forgetting until I see my reflection or someone new reacts to me or I see the diamond!  Why do you think I just came up to your door?”

            “I did wonder that,” Carson replied calmly.

            “I just wanted to see you,” Adam sighed.  He slouched.  “I forgot again.  I just, when I knew you were here, I decided I wanted to see you and strolled right in.  I just needed a friend, someone I could talk to about what happened last night with Blake.  I didn’t think…”  He indicated himself again.

            “I see.  Miss Miller…”

            “Adam!”

            “Adam.”  Carson’s voice remained calm.  “I cannot explain how you know the things you know.  The internet has a lot of information all by itself if you know where to look, or private detectives, or any number of ways, really.  Identity theft does happen all the time, after all…”

            “You don’t believe me!”  Adam clenched his fists.

            “What I do or do not believe isn’t the issue right now.  Let me tell you what I know for sure.”  Carson’s voice was firm now.  His blue eyes seemed to bore into Adam.  “I know that Blake just recently recovered enough from his grief to announce plans to start touring again.  I know that Adam’s diamond played a big part in his recovery.  And I know that you and your friends brutally attacked Blake just last week, when you robbed him…”

            “Dammit, Carson, that wasn’t me!” Adam yelled.

            Carson held up a hand.  “And I know that, shortly after that, you were in a serious car accident,” he continued.  “I know that you suffered a head injury severe enough that you remained in a coma for a week.  That isn’t something you can fake as part of an elaborate ruse or fraud.  So, for what it’s worth?  I do believe that you believe what you’re saying.  But at the same time, you must realize it isn’t possible.  You’ve got amnesia.  That can happen with a head injury, and memory is a very fragile thing.  You went after Blake and stole the ring specifically because you realized its connection to Adam.  Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, you really are just a huge fan of Adam’s?  That maybe your extensive knowledge of him was misinterpreted by your injured brain as memories of actually being Adam, instead of the collection of facts about him it really is?”

            “Carson, it’s me!” Adam pleaded.  “I’m Adam!  I can’t explain it, and I know it’s impossible, but I swear, I’m Adam!  I can prove it to you.  Ask me anything, something only I would know.”

            But Carson was shaking his head.  “It really is amazing, how much you know about Adam.  Despite what you did last week, you do seem, right now, to be a decent person.  And as a decent person, I’m asking you to do the right thing.  Give Blake back his ring, apologize, and walk away.”

            “If I give Blake back this ring, I won’t be walking anywhere!  I took it off and the body lost consciousness, and only came back when Blake put the ring back on!  It’s the ring, Carson!  That’s what’s anchoring me to this body!”

            “And there’s no chance it was just a coincidence?” Carson pressed.  He didn’t seem upset, only sad.  “You had a head injury.  The pressure was slowly building in your brain, and when you got upset with Blake, that pressure spiked.  That’s why you lost consciousness.  Then you were in the hospital, being treated, getting time to rest and heal.  You were bound to wake up, and the fact that it happened shortly after Blake put the ring on your finger was pure chance.”

            “For fuck’s sake!” Adam yelled.  “Why won’t you even consider that this is real?”

            “For one thing, if the ring lets your spirit pass into someone else’s body, then why didn’t you ever jump into Blake’s?” Carson asked.  “He wore that ring for months, and never heard a peep from Adam Levine.  Second, where’s the original owner of that body?  If you are an invading spirit, you’ve got no right to be there.  And third, most importantly?  What you are suggesting is not possible.  Adam’s diamond doesn’t carry his spirit.  It’s a beautiful memorial to the life of a wonderful man taken from us entirely too soon.  But that’s all it is.  It’s not magical or supernatural in any way.  It’s just a manufactured diamond, not even worth very much in terms of materials.  But it’s priceless to Blake, and you have no right to have it.  Give it back to him, get some help, and find a way to go on with your life.  Because you’re not Adam Levine.  I’m sorry, but you’re just not.  It isn’t possible.”

            Adam grew silent and still.  His eyes were fixed on the diamond.  He knew, he was positive, that he was Adam Levine.  But he couldn’t help but recall his initial confusion, when he’d first manifested in Kitty’s body.  At first, he’d had no idea who he was.  What if Carson was right?

            No, it couldn’t be true!  Amnesia couldn’t explain Adam’s intimate knowledge of having a male body.  No collection of facts could replace the clear memories, complete with smells, touches, tastes, and sounds, that he had of being Adam Levine.  “I’m Adam,” he said quietly.  “I know I am.  But I can’t make you believe me, not if you’re not going to listen.”  He looked up at Carson.  “What are you going to do with me?”

            “The only thing I can,” Carson sighed.  “I’m going to take you back to the hospital.  I’d like you to do the right thing and sign yourself in, get help.  Will you do that?”

            Adam didn’t respond.  He played with the diamond on his finger, not meeting Carson’s eyes.

            “Alright,” Carson sighed.  “Suit yourself.  But I’m taking you to the hospital.  Let me get my keys.”

            Adam waited until Carson stepped out of the room.  Then he was up, snatching his coat as he raced past, and heading out the door.  By instinct he hit the button to open the gate.  Behind him, he could hear a shout as Carson gave chase.  His longer legs would close the distance fast.  Adam ran as fast as he could, pushing his body as his legs pumped.  He bolted through the gate and tore down the street.  Then he kept running, motorcycle boots pounding the pavement, ignoring the painful stitch that soon developed in his side.  He kept going until his head started to swim and he was forced to stop to catch his breath.  His ears were ringing.  His heart was pounding.  Clearly, this body was not used to this type of exercise.  But a quick glance confirmed that he’d managed to lose Carson.  Good.  His former friend wouldn’t be able to force him into a hospital.  For now, Adam was safe.

            Exhausted and depressed, Adam shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and started walking.  Funny how, even in a different body, he longed for a cigarette.  Wasn’t that a great cosmic joke?  While the physical craving had died in the plane crash, the psychological craving persisted even through death.  What a boon for the tobacco companies!  It pissed him off for no particular reason.  He vowed he’d never smoke again.


	9. My Name Is Kitty Miller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upset and out on his own, Adam has an encounter with someone from Kitty's past.

            Adam had bummed a cigarette and a light from a kind stranger and was puffing away on a park bench when he realized he was being watched.  Just across the street, a man had paused and was actively staring at him.  He was tall, blonde, with a ring through one nostril and a haircut that was just shy of being a mullet.  He was dressed all in black, with a long black jacket.  Adam had no idea who the man was.  Annoyed, he stared back, making his eyes wide and obvious.  But unfortunately, that only made the guy come over.  “Hey,” the man said by way of greeting.  “Where the hell have you been?”

            Adam was about to retort with something witty and rude when it dawned on him.  This must be someone Kitty knew.  “I just got out of the hospital yesterday,” he explained, eyeing the man.  “I was unconscious in a coma for a week after a car crash, and not one single person visited me.  I also have amnesia, which means I have no idea who you are.  So, would you like to a) enlighten me and b) tell me where the hell _you_ have been, since you apparently know me but couldn’t be bothered to check up on me?”

            “I’m Vince,” the man retorted.  “And I’m your fucking boyfriend, Kitty!  Excuse me for not visiting, but I had no idea where you were and I was a little busy sorting out my brother’s affairs.  You remember Wes?  No?  Well, he died in the crash.  Thanks for giving a shit.”

            “Oh.”  Adam didn’t know what to say.  He warily eyeballed the man as Vince sat next to him on the bench.  He was a little too close for Adam’s comfort.  It got worse when Vince draped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him over.  “Ok, you need to take your hands off of me.”

            Vince stared at him.  “You too good for me now?”

            “I told you, I have amnesia!  I have no idea who you are, dude, and I really am not into being handled by strangers.  Now please respect my personal space?”

            Vince grunted in annoyance, but removed his arm.  “Whatever.  A week ago you were trying to talk me into marrying you.  I damned near did it before my brother Wes talked me out of it.  Thank God for that!  But now he’s dead, and you may as well be if you don’t even fucking remember me!  Thought you’d at least remember what a good lay I am, but they probably all ran together.  You always were a slut.”

            Adam was liking Vince less and less.  “Is there something in particular you want?”

            “You, back where you belong,” Vince informed him.  “It’s fucking lonely in the apartment and I hate cooking and doing dishes.  Plus, no one knew where you were, so you got fired from your job.  How are you supposed to pay the bills now?”

            Adam stared flatly.  “Seriously?”

            Vince cocked an eyebrow at him.  “Seriously, what?”

            “Seriously, that’s your biggest concern?” Adam asked, incredulous.  “Your girlfriend’s been missing for a week!  Then when you find her, you find out she’s been injured so badly she was in a coma for a week and has amnesia!  And that’s your beef?  Your biggest concerns are that the fucking housework and bills are piling up?  Dude, you are a piece of work!”

            The man looked at Adam as if he were speaking a foreign language.  “Um, yeah?  Do you really want to go back to the shelter or living in our car, Kitty?  We’re gonna end up losing the apartment if we can’t pay the rent!”

            “I’m fine, by the way,” Adam said dryly.  “I’m doing ok!  Except for the amnesia, there doesn’t seem to be any serious effects from the car crash.  Thanks for asking!”

            Vince crossed his arms over his chest.  “Your asshole boss fired you when you didn’t show up to work all week,” he informed Adam.  “You need that job.  Micky’s not gonna discount the dope if you’re not working, and we need the money!  You gotta go back and see if you can get it back.  Wear something tight that shows your tits.  That pervert’s had the hots for you for months, so if you let him cop a feel he’ll probably hire you back.”

            Adam rubbed his chin.  “Hmm, let some pervert feel me up so I can get a job and pay your bills?  Let me think about that, um, how about no?”

            “Well, Kitty, unless you want to start turning tricks?  You better get your ass back to work!  You wanna try Micky’s good graces, be my guest.  But he was pissed when you didn’t show and no one knew where you were.”

            “Why the hell didn’t anyone know where I was?” Adam asked.  “If you knew about the accident, then surely you asked about me, especially if I was trying to get you to marry me!  Even if you didn’t give a shit about me, you obviously needed me to do housework and pay bills.  So why didn’t you ask about me?”

            “Told you, I was busy with my brother.”

            Adam sputtered.  “Look, I’m sorry about your brother, but didn’t you know I was with him?”

            He nodded.  “Yeah, you went out with him and a couple of the guys and never came back.”

            “And that didn’t concern you in any way?” Adam asked, incredulous.  “You knew I was with your brother, and your brother died in a car accident, but you never thought to yourself that maybe I may have been in that same crash?”

            Vince shrugged.  “I didn’t know where the hell you were.”

            “It was a fucking car crash!” Adam exclaimed.  “The police knew about it!  If you’re my boyfriend, then they should have said something to you!”

            Vince shrugged again.  “I ain’t next of kin.  They didn’t tell me shit.”

            “Why the hell didn’t you ask?” Adam wanted to know.  “If you’d just talked to them…?”

            Vince snorted.  “Yeah, right, talk to the police!  You really do have amnesia, don’t you, you dumb bitch?  You think the police really want to help a guy just out of jail on drug charges that they know damned well is dealing again find his stripper girlfriend?”

            “Stripper?!” Adam squeaked.

            And now Vince laughed.  “Oh, this is rich.  You didn’t know you were a stripper!”

            “What part of ‘I have amnesia’ did not get through to you?”

            Vince rolled his eyes.  “Well, what the fuck did you think you did, Kitty?  You’re too dumb to go to school, too little to do manual labor, too useless to be a waitress, and you can’t even type!  All you got going for you is you’re hot.  That means your career options are stripper or hooker.  Pick one.”

            “And you’re fine with this?” Adam asked incredulously.  “You have no problem with your girlfriend stripping to pay the bills?”

            Vince gave him a look.  “Gotta pay the bills somehow.”

            “Oh, perfect,” Adam grumbled.  “I’m a stripper with a useless piece of shit for a boyfriend.”

            Vince roughly grabbed his arm.  “You’re about to get slapped if you keep talking about me like that!”

            “But it’s ok for you to call me a dumb bitch and useless?” Adam challenged, jerking his arm away.  “Apparently I’m the main source of income in this so-called relationship!  If you’re not useless, then what the fuck do you do for money?”

            Vince looked away.  “This and that.”

            “Dealing.”

            “It’s a living, when I can do it.  Now the cops are watching me, I can’t.  That’s why you gotta get back to work.”

            “And you’re not working an actual job because…?”

            He scoffed.  “The fuck do I look like?  What do you want me to do, flip burgers?  Get bent!”

            “Are you, like, completely useless?”

            “I’m a hell of a good lay!” Vince defended.  “More than I can say for you, Kitty.  Last time, all you did was lie there and complain that you worked all day and you’re tired.  If you didn’t make good money I probably would have left your sorry ass long ago.”

            “Holy shit you’re an asshole!  You know what, I’m going to do everyone involved a huge favor.  We’re officially broken up.  See ya!”

            Adam got up and stormed off in a huff.  But Vince came after him.  A hand on Adam’s arm jerked him to a stop and spun him around.  Then Vince took him by the shoulders and gave him a harsh shake.  “You don’t ever walk away from me!” he snarled.

            “Fuck you!  I…”

            Suddenly the larger man had him by the lapel of his leather jacket, drawing Adam so close that Vince’s rancid breath was making him gag.  “Where the fuck have you been, Kitty?”

            Adam shoved at him.  “Oh, now you ask that?”

            “Yeah, now I ask that.”  Vince let Adam’s coat go, but then grabbed his arm again.  “What the fuck is this on your arm?” he asked.  He grabbed at the dressing, tore it off, and stared at the tattoo on Adam’s arm.  “Seriously?  You got a fucking tattoo?  What, your tramp stamp wasn’t enough?”

            Adam lifted his chin.  “Yeah, I got a tattoo, and it looks great!  Thanks for taking the dressing off, asshole.  Good thing it’s healed up quick.”

            “What the hell did you get a tattoo for?”

            “What’s it to you?”

            “You’re my fucking girlfriend!  More importantly, your ass has to look good to make any real money.”  He frowned at the tiger.  “Alright, this does look pretty cool, but no more without talking to me first.”

            “Oh, fuck you, pal!  I don’t need your fucking permission to do shit, much less do something to my own body!”

            The hand tightened on Adam’s arm.  “Where the hell did you even get the money to do this?  It couldn’t have been cheap!  Did you turn a trick?”

            “I robbed a fucking bank.  What’s it to you?  It’s my money, and my body!”  Adam tried to pull away.

            Vince pulled Adam closer, his eyes narrowing as they moved over Adam.  “You’re wearing a diamond ring, and these are all new clothes.  You even got yourself a new haircut!  You found yourself some sugar daddy, didn’t you?” he hissed.

            “So what if I did?” Adam challenged, shoving at him.  “Who the hell would stay with a piece of shit like you, especially if this is the way you treat me?”

            Vince shook Adam again.  “Who is he?”

            “Your mother!  I’m fucking her brains out every night, live on stage!”

            Vince rolled his eyes.  “Doesn’t matter.  You’re not leaving me and we both know it.  Now come on, we’re going home.”  He started away at a brisk pace, dragging Adam stumbling behind him.

            Adam strained, realizing once again that he was in a much smaller body than he was used to.  He pried at Vince’s fingers, but couldn’t budge them.  Meanwhile, the man wasn’t slowing down.  Adam stumbled along after him, the first traces of fear starting to set in.  “Take your fucking hands off of me!”

            “Just shut up and come on!  We’ll go straight to Mickey’s and get your job back.  Then you can book a few private parties so we can pay the bills.”

            “I’m not going anywhere with you!  Let me go!”

            Vince only tightened his grip to the point it was painful and walked faster.  “You’re a real pain in my dick, Kitty,” he announced.  “I should have ditched you and went with Rhonda when I had the chance.  Soon as we get home, I’m gonna straighten your ass out!”

            “You son of a bitch!”  Adam knew he was no match for Vince.  But right then, he didn’t give a shit.  He dug in his heels, waited until Vince turned around, and then punched him with all the strength in his woman’s body.

            There was a loud crunch, and blood flew.  Vince gave a howl of pain and released Adam to clutch at his gushing nose.  Adam immediately started running.  But the furious ex-convict raced after him and caught Adam by the collar.  Adam promptly stomped on his foot.  “Fucking let go of me!”

            “Oh, bitch, are you going to get a payback!”

            “Fuck you!”  One knee in the crotch, and the asshole was on the ground and Adam was running for a record breaking third time today.

            Unfortunately, he ran right into a broad chest.  Adam tried to duck around the newcomer, but a set of strong arms went around him.  He was about to deliver Knee To The Nuts Take Two when he looked up and saw Blake.  Worried blue eyes looked down at him.  “I,” Blake declared, “have been looking everywhere for you!  We are getting you a cell phone!”

            “Blake!”  Adam clung to the country singer.  “I’m so glad to see you!”

            “Seriously?” a voice squeaked from behind Adam.  “Your new sugar daddy is Blake fucking Shelton?  Are you fucking kidding me?”

            Blake looked over Adam’s head and saw Vince for the first time.  The blue eyes narrowed.  “Who the hell are you?”

            “I’m her boyfriend, asshole!”  Adam looked back and saw Vince struggling to his feet, still clutching his groin.  “Take your hands off of her, Shelton.  It’s past time she came home.”

            “That so?”  Blake gently pushed Adam aside and moved towards Vince.

            Vince looked up at the big cowboy towering over him, and suddenly seemed a lot less sure of himself.  “Look,” he said.  “Whatever con she’s pulling on you, don’t fall for it, man.  That dumb bitch is…”

            Blake’s hand shot out like a snake, catching Vince by the lapel of his jacket and all but lifting him off his feet.  “Call her that again,” Blake snarled.  “I dare you!”

            Vince swallowed hard.  “Take it easy, man!  I’m just trying to warn ya is all.  Kitty looks good and she’s a fine lay and all, but she’s trash, alright?  She’s just using you, and as soon as she gets all she can get from you, she’ll take off and leave you cold.”

            “I imagine that’s my business, isn’t it?”  Blake gave Vince a harsh shove that sent him sprawling on the pavement.  “Get out of my sight!  And don’t let me see you coming near her again!”

            “This isn’t over, Shelton!” Vince roared.  “Kitty’s coming back home with me!”

            “Oh, really?”  Blake started stalking towards Vince.  The big man was radiating menace.

            “I’m going!”  Vince scrambled up and started quickly away.  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, man!  Kitty Miller’s nothing but trouble!”

            Blake gave him the finger.  Then he turned back to Adam.

            Adam had been staring, wide-eyed, at Blake.  He’d never seen anything so sexy in all his life as Blake in full country kickass mode, putting the fear of God into Vince.  But now that it was over and reality intruded once more, Adam looked around with dismay.  No one else had lifted a finger while he was being assaulted.  But now cell phones were everywhere, recording the famous country star as he rescued the damsel in distress.  Blake, unfortunately, noticed too.  “You assholes were too busy taking video to help a woman getting dragged off against her will?” he yelled at the crowd.  “So glad you were around!  Hope someone videos it the next time you need help!”

            Most of the crowd quickly dispersed.  But a few continued to video.

            Adam’s face flamed.  “Blake, can we please just get out of here?” he pleaded.

            And then Blake was at his side, his arm over his shoulders, and everything was alright again.

****

            Back in Blake’s truck, Adam could finally breathe.  “I went back to my house,” he reported, “and Carson was there.”

            “He bought the place a few months back,” Blake confirmed.  “I wasn’t sure how to feel about it when he first broached the subject.  But your place is a lot closer to his new studio, and honestly, I felt better about him being in it than some stranger.  I appreciated that he’d thought to ask me, although God knows I wasn’t about to tell the man what to do.”  He glanced over.  “Lemme guess.  You saw him and said hello, completely forgetting all the important parts?”

            “You know me too well, Big Country,” Adam grumbled.  “Bottom line, he and Gwen want to commit me.  Gwen called him last night and talked to him.  Apparently, when she talked to us both separately, our stories didn’t match.”

            “Yeah, I figured,” Blake sighed.  “She said yesterday that she was going to come over this morning before we left, so it sounds like she’s bringing Carson with her.”

            “To convince you to have me committed!” Adam groaned.  “Don’t let them lock me up, Blake.  I really don’t think I could deal with some shrink psychoanalyzing me and trying to convince me that I’m not me!”

            “Won’t happen,” Blake assured.  “We’ll swing by the house, grab our luggage, and head straight to the airport.  I should be able to get us on an earlier flight.  Then it’s back to Oklahoma.”

            Adam shivered, and naturally Blake noticed.  The big man’s face fell.  “Fuck me, I did not even think!  You, on a plane, after…?  Sorry, buddy, we can take a train or hell, we could even drive out there!”

            “Don’t be ridiculous.  It’s halfway across the country.”  Adam forced a smile.  “I’ll be fine.  Worst thing that can happen already did.  I’m already dead, remember?  Frankly, I’m more concerned about you.”

            “It took me a long time before I could fly again,” Blake admitted.  “So I get it.  If you’re not comfortable, we can try something else.”

            “I’ll be fine.”  This time, Adam’s smile was small, but genuine.  “I need to get used to flying again anyway, and no time like the present.  Besides, I’ll have you there, right?  I can handle it, so long as you’re there.”

            The blue eyes softened.  “I’ll be right there by you the entire time,” Blake vowed.  “I promise.”

            Adam’s smile grew.  “Thanks.  And thanks for back there.  That Vince guy?”  He shook his head disgusted.  “Kitty Miller really made a mess of her life didn’t she?  She’s a pretty girl!  What the hell is she doing with a guy like that?”

            “She certainly made a poor choice there, but we don’t know anything about her,” Blake pointed out.  “She may have been another one of those kids who came out here hoping to make it big and ended up on the street.  God knows there’s enough of them.”

            “Yeah.”  Adam frowned and looked out the window.  He could see them, the homeless and destitute, back in the corners and allies, panhandling on the street.  “You know, it’s easy to forget how lucky we are,” he said.  “Apparently, Kitty was a stripper, maybe a little worse.  And her dickhead boyfriend was a drug pusher.  She must have fallen in with some pretty bad company.”

            “Well, you don’t have to worry about it.”

            “Actually, I do.  To the rest of the world, I’m Kitty Miller,” Adam pointed out.  “Whatever baggage comes with her, that’s now my baggage for as long as I’m in this body.  As today rather vividly proved, you’re all I’ve got, Blake.  Without you, I really would be out on the streets, maybe stripping or God knows what just so I could eat and have a place to stay.  That’s…”  He shook his head.  “I wish I could help her.  Kitty, I mean.  Has she ever had a break in her life?”

            “Can’t save everyone, buddy,” Blake pointed out.  His voice was gentle.  “Right now, you got enough on your plate.”

            “Yeah.  I guess you’re right.”  Adam went quiet for the rest of the ride.  But his eyes constantly roved outside, seeing the lost souls he’d barely noticed before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun loved that Blake told off the jerks who were standing around taking video while Adam was being assaulted. Says there's too many people like that.
> 
> As much as I'd like to say I pulled Vince out of the recesses of my imagination, he's all too real. Too many people, both men and women, make horrible life choices and then think they have to live with them. Assholes like this know exactly how to manipulate you because that's what they do. If you're in a relationship like this, please understand: these people are users and abusers and YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT! They're the problem, not you! Don't believe that no one else will ever love you, you're not good enough, or it's your fault. Get out and don't look back!


	10. Unfinished Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam tells Blake the biggest regret of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the first unpublished chapter! From here on out, Mr. Fun is back. Along with the novel, I'm also helping beta another work for another writer in the "Supernatural" fandom, so my plate is quite full at the moment. But don't worry! I fully intend to finish this story!
> 
> Non-diegetic music here, and main theme for Adam, is "If I Die Tomorrow" by Motley Crue. Several of their songs have worked quite well for this story! Nut loved this for Adam, said it could have been written for this story.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJp-v3oZbsQ

            Blake couldn’t stop worrying about Adam.  His friend hadn’t said a word when they’d stopped at Blake’s house, grabbed their luggage, and raced off towards the airport.  And that hadn’t changed once they’d gotten their tickets changed.  Adam had shrunk in on himself, small and quiet, standing close to Blake.  He was in Blake’s personal space, but not touching.  He hadn’t touched Blake until they were on the plane.  Then Adam actually stretched himself over the arm rest to cling to Blake’s arm when the plane took off.  Blake had put his arms around Adam, gently rubbing his friend’s back as the plane taxied and lifted.  Adam’s face had stayed buried in Blake’s shoulder until they were in the air.  Then, once the flight smoothed out, Adam seemed to relax a bit.  He’d seemed a bit embarrassed, pulling away and rubbing at the back of his neck. 

            “Hey,” Blake called softly.  “It’s ok, buddy.”

            “Sorry,” Adam mumbled.  “I know I’m being stupid about this.”

            “Adam, you were in a plane crash,” Blake reminded.  “One you didn’t survive!  I can’t imagine the guts it took for you to get back on this plane.  Whatever you’re feeling, I’d say you’re more than entitled.  If you need someone to hold on to, I’m right here.  Whatever you need.”

            That made Adam smile.  Then, careful not to meet Blake’s eyes, he’d reached over and gently wrapped his arm around Blake’s.  And that was how he spent the rest of the trip.

            Blake said nothing.  He kept an eye on Adam, making sure he didn’t panic.  Adam clung to his arm at one point when they hit a small patch of turbulence.  But soon it was over, and Adam seemed much more relaxed.  At one point, the blonde head had rested against Blake’s shoulder, and Blake thought perhaps Adam had gone to sleep.  But when he’d glanced down, the green eyes were wide open, lost in thought and looking at nothing.  Blake’s heart ached for his friend.  Whatever lingering fears he had about flying aside, Adam had just received a vivid reminder that his usual support system was gone.  Now Blake was all Adam had.  Well, he couldn’t be everything Adam needed.  But he was damned sure gonna try.

            As they got off the plane and were headed out, a tiny hand slipped into Blake’s.  Blake gripped it, gentle, yet firm.  “I’m here, buddy.”

            “I know.  And you don’t know how much that means.”

            Blake smiled and led him out to his truck.

            Adam was just as still and quiet on the ride out to Blake’s ranch as he’d been on the plane.  The green eyes still appeared to be deep in thought.  He’d let go of Blake’s hand, allowing him to drive.  But he still gripped Blake’s sleeve.  Not his arm, his sleeve.  Blake could not understand that.  Adam’s little fingers were twisting the material of Blake’s denim jacket and holding it tight, as though afraid Blake would somehow vanish unless he kept hold of him somehow.  But why his sleeve?  Well, Adam never did do things like normal people would.  This was probably just one more example of how eccentric his friend actually was.  So be it.  Blake smiled and kept driving.  Whatever Adam needed.  The important thing was that he was here.  That simple fact was enough to make Blake feel better than he’d felt in a year.

            But Adam’s silence persisted when Blake pulled into his ranch and they brought their belongings into the house.  As Blake expected, Adam had gone straight for his old room where he’d always stayed.  Blake had thought nothing of it and was about to head up to his own room when he heard Adam gasp.  Then he winced, realizing his mistake, and quickly ran to Adam.

            Adam was standing in the doorway of his old room, staring.  The only thing Blake had allowed the cleaning staff to do in the room was dust and run the vacuum around the items on the floor.  No other guest had been allowed to stay there.  And Blake himself hadn’t touched the room since Adam had died.  Everything was just as he’d left it, right down to the now empty water glass next to the bed, the dirty socks Adam had forgotten on the rim of the tub, and Adam’s razor on the edge of the sink.  There was the book Adam was reading the night before his fateful trip, the bookmark still in place.  There was the video game he and Blake had played.  The empty beer bottles they’d been drinking from were still in the unemptied trash.  The room seemed locked in time, ready for the man who had stayed in it so many times to return and stay once more.

            Now the woman standing in the doorway seemed barely able to keep her feet.  Wide green eyes flickered around, taking in all the little details.  The dozens of tiny reminders of another life.  The carelessness of a man who had gone out, never even considering that he might never come back.

            Blake quickly moved to his friend’s side.  “You don’t have to stay in this room,” he offered.  “You know I got plenty.”

            “No.  This is my room, and I want to stay here.”

            “You sure, buddy?”  He tentatively put his arm around Adam’s shoulders.  “I can’t even imagine what must be going through your head!  If this room is too much, I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night.  You wake me up, and I’ll help you move to another one.”

            Adam pressed against Blake’s side.  “I’ll be fine, Blake.  But I do want to talk to you once I get settled in.  Is that alright?”

            “Of course it’s alright!  We still got a couple hours until dinner.  We can talk about anything you want.”  Blake planted a kiss on Adam’s temple.  He had to duck down lower to do it, and it wasn’t the same.  And yet somehow, it was.  Well, it was Adam, wasn’t it?  It wasn’t the same mouth that curved into a smile, but the smile itself was all too familiar.  So was the way that Adam leaned, just a bit, into Blake’s kiss.  The way his eyes closed slightly.  The way some of the tenseness went out of his shoulders.  All of it was unmistakably Adam.  Blake even imagined, just for a moment, that he could actually _smell_ Adam, that he could somehow detect a faint trace of his friend in the scent of the woman’s hair.  “I missed you,” he blurted out.  “Every damned day, I missed you.  And I couldn’t change the room.  It’s stupid, but it was almost like, if I kept it the way you left it, you’d come back someday.”

            “And I did.”

            Blake chuckled.  “Yeah.  I guess you did.”  He kissed Adam’s temple again.  “Ok, this is getting weird, I know.  I’ll be in the living room, if you want to talk.”

            Adam nodded.  “I do.  I’ll be out in a moment.”

            Blake headed for the living room.  Inside, he was kicking himself.  _Way to make an already impossible situation even harder for him, ya moron!_ he told himself.  _Adam has enough on his shoulders without your big dumb ass talking about how much you missed him.  He didn’t need to know how hard you fell apart, how bad it was for you with him gone.  He does not need that kind of guilt!  And what the hell were you thinking, letting him walk into that room and see it like that in the first place?  Idiot!_

            Disgusted, Blake stormed out into the kitchen for a beer.  He took a drink, snagged a second cold one for Adam, and headed back into the living room.

            A moment later, Adam arrived.  Without a word, he sat close to Blake on the couch and picked up his beer.  But he didn’t drink it.  He simply sat as he was, seeming to draw comfort from Blake’s closeness.  He didn’t say a word.

            Blake waited.

            Adam’s fingers were splaying out, collecting the material of Blake’s denim jacket again.  What was that all about, anyway?  Blake didn’t ask.  He took another drink from his bottle and simply continued to wait.  _Give him time,_ he told himself.  _Adam’s obviously got something on his mind, and you need to let him get it off his chest at his own pace._

            Finally, Adam began to speak.  “You were wearing this same jacket when I left here,” he said quietly.  “I remember you wearing it.”

            Blake looked down in surprise.  “Was I?  I didn’t realize.”

            Adam nodded.  “I remember you standing in the doorway, waving to me as I left for the airport.  It was chilly, so you’d grabbed this jacket.  It’s the last memory of you that I have, you standing and waving from the door.  And you were wearing this jacket.”

            Oh.  Troubled, Blake looked down at the fingers clutching his sleeve.  “Does it bother you?  I can take it off.”

            “No.  I like that you’re wearing it.  It feels like coming home.  Full circle, you know?”

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            And then Adam went silent again.  Blake sat back, resolved to wait him out.  And finally, his patience was rewarded when Adam began to speak once more.

            “I don’t blame Carson.  Hell, if our positions were reversed, I’d probably do the same thing!  And he told me how much you mourned for me, Blake.  That just tears me up inside, that you hurt so much over losing me.  You quit the show, you stopped touring, you just…  It’s like you just gave up, Blake!  Like when my plane went down, a big part of you died with me!”

            “I think part of me did die with you, buddy,” Blake confessed.  “I never realized how much our lives were intertwined.  Everywhere I went, everything and everyone I saw, it all connected back to you.  So yeah.  I mourned.  I mourned like I’ve never mourned anyone, even my dad!  Because when you were taken away from me, Adam?  I felt like I lost something, some piece of myself, that I just wouldn’t ever get back.”

            “I’m not worth it, Blake,” Adam said unhappily.  He put his untouched beer on the table.  “I couldn’t have known my plane would crash, but I never wanted you to mourn me!”

            Blake sighed and put his own on the table as well.  “This isn’t on you, buddy.  The thing is, I couldn’t live with myself because I took you for granted, Adam.  That’s the real issue.  I didn’t appreciate you and everything you meant to me.  You were just always around, until suddenly you weren’t.  And I couldn’t handle it.  The center fell out of my world, and everything just crashed inward.”

            “And then you finally healed.  And that’s when I came back.”

            Blake winced at the bitterness in Adam’s voice.  Frowning, he reached over, took Adam’s chin in his hand, and turned his face to look up at him.  “I want you to listen to me,” he ordered.  “Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me.  But you’re back now.  And that’s a damned miracle that I won’t ever regret.  Because I don’t know how you’re here or why, and I don’t know how long you can stay!  Dammit, Adam, I came out after you this morning because I went to your room as soon as I woke up to check you and found you gone.  I damn near gave myself a heart attack last night, wondering if you’d still be you after you’d gone to sleep!  Part of me was just sure you’d go back to being gone, and I’d be left with a coma patient in your bed, and that scared the everloving shit out of this mother’s son, Adam!  I will never take you being here for granted again.  So don’t you ever say to me that you’re sorry you came back.  I’m not sorry.  I’m getting time with you that I shouldn’t have!  I got no idea how much.  But I won’t ever be sorry for whatever I get.”

            Adam’s eyes were bright and wet.  His breath was coming in quick, hitching gasps.  He brought his free hand up and clutched at Blake’s hand on his chin.  “I’ve been thinking about why I came back,” he began.  “They say that, if someone dies and can’t move on to the next life, it’s because they’ve got unfinished business.  And I know what that unfinished business is.”  He pulled Blake’s hand away and looked down.  There’s something I never did while I was alive, something that I died regretting.  The last thing I remember thinking about before it all went away was that I’d never get the chance now.  And if anything could have kept me from moving on, well, that’s it.  Now I’ve got the chance, and I won’t make that mistake again.  I need to do it, Blake.”

            “Alright, I’ll help you, then,” Blake declared.  “What is it?”

            Adam swallowed hard and looked hard at the table in front of him, away from Blake’s eyes.  “When the plane was going down?  When I knew I was going to die?  They say your life flashes before your eyes.  But that isn’t what happened to me.  There was only one thing on my mind.”  Adam took both of Blake’s hands in his.  He seemed suddenly shy as he looked back up at Blake through his lashes.  “You,” he said simply.  “My unfinished business is you, Blake.”

            Blake blinked in surprise.  “What?  That I mourned you?”

            “No.  I didn’t know about that, but it’s not unfinished business.  You didn’t mourn me until after I died,” Adam pointed out.  “But I think, if I came back for a reason, it was because of you.  Because I have unfinished business with you, something I never did while I was alive.”

            “What, buddy?  What is it?”

            Again, Adam went silent.  He slowly looked up, his gaze finally meeting Blake’s eyes.  “I never told you,” he whispered.  “All that time, all those moments we were alone together?  I never told you how I really felt.  I let all those opportunities pass me by, Blake.”

            Blake’s brow furled in confusion.  “I don’t understand.  What are you saying?”

            “I’m saying that you’re right.  The time we have together now, this extra chance we’ve been given?  It could end at any moment!  We have no idea what’s keeping me here or how long I can stay.  I’m terrified to take the diamond off, Blake.  Because I don’t know if it can bring me back if I go out again!  So, maybe this is it, you know?  My last day on this Earth.”  He looked down at Blake’s hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.  “When I knew I was going to die, all I thought about was you, standing in your doorway saying goodbye.  I’d come so close to telling you the night before, when we were drinking and I told you about the Lifegem, that I’d ordered it?  But I didn’t.  I couldn’t do it.  I was too afraid it would change things between us, and I was just too much of a coward.  And when I died, I died regretting that.  Now I’m here.  I’ve got another chance, and I won’t let it pass me by.  This might be the last chance I’ll have to tell you the truth.  And so, here it is.  I love you, Blake.”

            Blake smiled.  “I love you too, buddy, but you’ve told me that before!”

            “No I didn’t!”  Adam clutched his hands.  The green eyes bore into his own.  “Blake, I’ve always been bisexual, you know that.  But what you didn’t know is that all those people I’ve been with, even the ones I thought I was in love with?  None of that was real!  Nothing in my life was real until I met you.  You think I was the center of your world?  You’re the center of my fucking _soul,_ Blake!  Because my soul’s all I’ve got left of me now, and I still love you as much as I ever did when I was alive.  Hell, I love you more, because now I know!  I know how short life really is, how little time we have to tell the ones who matter the most just how much they really mean.  And you mean everything to me, Blake.  You’re my best friend, you’re my soulmate, and I love you like I never loved anyone else in my whole fucking life!  I love you, Blake Shelton!  And that’s my unfinished business.  I died before I could tell you.”  He took a shaking breath.  “I may not wake up in the morning, Blake.  That means all I got is now.  And I know, alright?  I can see the look on your face right now, and the way you’re pulling away from me a bit.  I know you don’t feel the same, and I’m fine with that.  I’m not here to fuck up your life any more than I already have.  I know you’ll never see me as anything more than a friend.  But I have been hopelessly in love with you, devoted to you in ways you never knew, for years now!”  Adam squeezed Blake’s hands.  “Everything about me was perfectly in tune to you, Blake.  Everything you experienced, all the shit you went through?  You kept saying how great it was that I got you so much.  But I got it because I lived it, right there with you!  My heart broke when yours did.  I smiled because you were smiling!  And dammit, I lived my life for you, alright?”  He suddenly stilled, releasing Blake’s hands.  “And now that life is over.  And for the first time, I’m ok with that.  If it’s time for me to go, I’ll go.  Let the angel of death come and take me now.  I’m not afraid.  The only thing that ever scared me was that you’d find out, and push me away.  But I can handle that now, too, because I got to tell you how I really feel about you.  I love you, Blake.  And I’ll always love you, in this life and the next.”  He shrugged.  “That’s all.  My unfinished business is done.  If that means my time is over now, I’m fine with that.”

            Blake’s conscious thought processes had all left the building.  Adam had let go of his hands and retrieved his beer.  Now he was drinking it fast, chugging it down until the bottle was empty.  He replaced the empty bottle on the table and then curled into himself, legs tucked under himself and his arms folded tightly against his chest.  Unshed tears stood in his eyes.  He refused to look at Blake, but if he had, Blake wouldn’t have given him much to look at.  He sat with his jaw gaping open like a frog trying to catch flies.  _I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else in my whole life!_   That’s what Adam had said to him.  Blake had considered Adam to be the best friend he’d ever had.  But even though he’d known Adam was bisexual, Blake had never once ever considered that his friend would ever be interested in him as anything more than a friend.  He’d had no idea.

_You’re the center of my soul, Blake!  Because my soul’s all I’ve got left of me now, and I still love you as much as I ever did when I was alive._

            _My unfinished business is done.  If that means my time is over now, I’m fine with that._

            “I’m not!” Blake cried aloud.

            Adam cocked an eyebrow.  “Gay?  I know that.  My unfinished business wasn’t to hook up with you, just to tell you how I feel.”

            “No!  I mean, that’s right, I’m not gay, but that’s not what I meant.  I meant that I’m not ready for your time to be over!  I wasn’t before and I sure as hell am not now.  I got you back!  I don’t know or care how, but I can’t lose you again!”  He glared at Adam.  “Adam, I want you to listen to me, alright?  If the damned angel of death comes for you, don’t you dare just let her take you without a fight!  You give that bitch the hardest time taking you away that you can manage, ya hear me?”

            Adam smiled.  “I hear you, Big Country.”

            “Good!  Because I mean it, Adam.  You fight like hell, and if she’s just too strong for you, then you call me.  I swear to God, if there’s any way possible for me to come to help you, I’ll do it.”

            Adam’s eyes grew wide.  “Blake, do not even talk like that!  I’m already dead, but you’ve still got your life ahead of you!”

            “I already saw what that was like.  I ain’t interested in seeing it again.”

            The green eyes were troubled.  “I can’t stay, Blake.  You have to know that.  And you can’t keep me, no matter how much we might both want me to stay.  Promise me that, when my time is over and I’m gone again, you’ll go on?”

            “I’ll go on,” Blake sighed.  “Even at my worst, I wasn’t suicidal.  I just…  I’m not ready to lose you again.”

            “Yeah.”  Adam’s voice was flat.  “I’m not ready to go away again either, buddy.  I’m alright if it happens, but I don’t want to go.  I just don’t know that I’ll have any choice.”

            “Will you fight?”

            “Yeah.  I’ll fight.  I’ll try to, anyway.  It’s all I can do.”

            There was a moment of awkward silence.  Blake cleared his throat, knowing he was about to increase the awkward factor, but plunging ahead anyway.  “About that other thing,” he began.  “You, having feelings for me?  I ain’t gonna lie to ya, Adam.  You know damned well that I’ve never been interested in another man.  I can’t return the feelings you have for me, buddy.  I just can’t see you as anything more than a friend!”

            “I know, and like I said, I’m fine with that.  I just needed to let you know.”

            “Well, now I know, and I’d like to try to keep our friendship without making things weird for each other.  So if I’m saying or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, I want you to say the word.  Alright?”

            Adam grimaced.  “Blake, really, it’s fine!  I don’t want things to be awkward between us!  See, that’s why I never told you.  Well, that and Gwen.”  He smiled.  “I’m glad you two are together.  She’s a great lady, Blake.”

            “Yeah, she is.  Unfortunately, we work better as friends than we do as lovers.  That’s why we broke up a couple of weeks after you died.”

            Adam stilled.  “Then…  You’re _not_ dating Gwen?”

            Blake snorted.  “We’re not dating.  We’re friends, that’s all.  At least we walked away not totally hating each other!”

            “Well, I’m glad for that, but you guys had a date yesterday!”

            “At the recording studio,” Blake explained.  “We’re recording a duet.”

            “Oh.”  Adam felt stupid.  “So, are you dating anyone?”

            “At present I am a free man,” Blake declared.  “But Adam?  I’m available right now.  But I’m not available.  Alright?”

            “I get it.  We’re just friends,” Adam confirmed.  “Like I keep saying, it’s alright.  I’m not going to press you for anything more than what you’re willing to give me.  I feel much better just knowing I told you, that you know the truth.  Now, the dice can roll and the pieces can fall where they may!  I feel like this huge weight is off my shoulders now.  Thank you so much for letting me tell you!”

            “I didn’t do a damned thing!”

            “You listened, and you didn’t judge me,” Adam said.  “You’re a country hick from the sticks and your best friend just told you he’s in love with you!  I had no idea how you were going to react to that!  I figured at worst, you’d never want to see me again, and at best, it would be awkward between us.”

            “Maybe,” Blake mumbled.  “If you’d told me all this before, maybe that’s how it would have been.  But losing you changes a lot, Adam.  Gives you a whole new perspective on things, you know?  So, whatever I may have thought before?  Right now, I’m fine with it.  I’m just so glad you’re here that I honestly don’t give a shit.”

            Adam’s face broke into a sunny grin.  “Thanks, buddy.  Whatever results from this, it feels damned good to have finally told you.”

            After that, the rest of the evening was good.  Blake ordered Chinese food and made fun of Adam’s choices.  Adam made fun of Blake’s ability with chopsticks.  Adam mocked Blake’s accent.  Blake insulted Adam’s favorite basketball team.  Adam called Blake a stupid hick.  Blake called Adam an idiot.  The two traded insults and zingers, finally devolving into a small food fight that morphed into a pillow fight.  Then Blake grabbed both pillows and held them high above Adam’s head.  Adam cursed savagely, trying unsuccessfully to jump up and get them. 

            He didn’t even come close.  And suddenly Blake was reminded once again of the fact that Adam was now in the body of a tiny woman. 

            Blake quickly stopped laughing and replaced the pillows on the couch.  Seeing Adam’s puzzled expression, he smiled.  “It’s getting late,” he announced.  “And I’m beat.”

            “It’s only ten pm!” Adam exclaimed.  “What’s wrong, Big Country?”

            “It’s just been a long day, buddy,” Blake soothed.  “Stay up if you want.  But I really think I’m turning in.”

            “Alright.”  Adam had an odd expression on his face as he looked at Blake.  “I did something, didn’t I?  Something that reminded you of…” he indicated his body.  “It’s still me in here, Blake!”

            “I know.”  Blake pulled him into a close hug.  “I know it’s you, Adam.  Just give me some time, alright?  It’s a lot to take in.”

            “Alright, I get it.”  Adam managed a small smile.  “You take all the time you need.”

            “Thanks.”  Blake stooped down, kissed his head.  There it was again, that faint scent of Adam.  If it was his imagination, it was at least consistent.

            Adam was squirming in his arms, wanting loose.  “I’m going to stay up a bit, maybe watch a little CNN, see what I’ve missed.  See you in the morning?”

            “You got it.”

            Blake went upstairs, changed into pajama pants, and crawled into bed.  But sleep didn’t come.  He listened for a while as Adam watched TV downstairs and then finally went to bed.  Then he waited a bit longer before he crept out and down the stairs, heading for Adam’s room.

            Apparently, Adam had found one of his own shirts.  Now he was using it as a night shirt.  The shirt that once fit a six foot man draped loosely over the form of the sleeping girl on the bed.  Adam slept on, oblivious to Blake’s presence in his room.

            Adam’s unfinished business was past.  Would he still be Adam when he woke up in the morning?

            Blake couldn’t take the chance that the answer was no.  He moved closer, gazing down at the sleeping form.  “Fight, Adam,” he whispered.  “You fight to stay.  And if you need me, I’m right here.”

            Adam never stirred.  The only movement was the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

            Blake pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed, prepared for the first of that long night’s many hours of wakefulness.  But when the sun rose the next morning and the green eyes fluttered opened, it was Adam that looked out at him.

            Adam was still there.

            His eyes went wide, blinked, and then narrowed.  “Blake?” he called.  “Dude!  What the fuck are you doing in my room?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun also wants to know what Blake is doing in Adam's room? Said this was a good chapter. Wants to know what's going to happen to Adam now he's completed his unfinished business and thinks there's more to it.


	11. Trials and Tribulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake tries to adjust. Adam forgets certain pertinent facts. And the press has a field day. What will Blake's mother think?

            “I still can’t believe you actually sat up all night watching me sleep,” Adam grumbled.  He picked moodily at his breakfast.  “Dude, what did you think you could do if I, you know, went out?”

            “I didn’t know, and I didn’t care,” Blake declared.  He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes and took another sip of his coffee.  “The only thing that I cared about was that I was there if you needed me.”

            Adam’s expression softened.  “Thank you, but you have got to be exhausted!”

            “It’s hardly the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter, buddy.”

            “Yeah, but you’re not getting any younger,” Adam pointed out.  “Me, I lost a decade, but you’re still an old grey man!”

            Blake smirked.  “Just a decade, huh?”

            Adam smiled sweetly.  “Fuck you.”

            Blake casually gave him the finger and went back to his breakfast and the morning paper.  He needed to focus on something.  Adam, unfortunately, was still wearing the t-shirt he’d slept in and a pair of boy shorts.  That was it.  His woman’s body was being displayed in all sorts of interesting ways as Adam moved around the kitchen.  Blake was trying very hard not to think about it.  And of course, his friend was oblivious.  But really, why wouldn’t he be?  Usually when Adam stayed with Blake, they both ran around in their underwear until they showers, which typically didn’t happen until nearly noon.  Blake was still in his pajama bottoms that he’d put on last night.  But at least he’d taken the time to throw on a shirt.  Adam, he suspected, might have actually run around topless, not even considering just what was on display, if he hadn’t gone to sleep in his shirt last night.  His friend had never had any reason to be ashamed of his body.  As long as he’d known Adam, the man had been in near-perfect physical condition.  He’d had no qualms about posing for pictures while semi-nude or flat-out nude on at least a couple of occasions, and had walked naked through the room in Blake’s presence more than once, heading to or from a shower.  Why would that change now?  Blake was the only one who had a problem. 

            And oh, he had a problem.

            When he’d watched over his friend last night, Blake had been too worried about losing Adam to pay much attention to anything else.  But now, Blake was less afraid Adam would go off somewhere into the void.  If he’d still been here this morning, Blake thought his chances were good that he’d stay longer.  And with the lessening of his worry had come an awareness of just how attractive the woman’s body his friend now possessed actually was.  Kitty’s long legs were crossed, one bare foot constantly jigging in time to music only Adam could hear.  The shirt she wore did nothing to hide her shape, and displayed way too much of her legs.  Kitty was built like the dancer she was, much shorter than what Adam had been, but very well proportioned.  And Blake couldn’t deny he was attracted to her.  Very attracted.  Way too attracted!  He was disgusted with himself.  Yes, the woman was very attractive, but that was _Adam_ seated over there in that chair!  His best friend, who had only just last night admitted to being in love with Blake!  What would Adam think if he discovered Blake’s interest, not in Adam himself, but in the body he inhabited?  Things were confusing enough without adding _that_ into the mix!  And so Blake stayed silent, trying to pretend he wasn’t having lustful thoughts about the woman at his table for the sake of the friend inside of her.

            Damn, that sounded bad.

            _Not helping, dammit, get a hold of yourself, Shelton!_

_Ok, that sounds bad too.  Shit, think of something else, quick!_

            “So what’s the plan for today?” Adam asked.

            Blake blinked, startled out of the mental images of mucking out a stable he’d conjured to get his mind off of his lustful thoughts.  “Well, um, the reason I had to come back today was because I’ve got an interview,” he explained.  “There’s a few of those and a couple of shows coming up that I’m performing at, promotional stuff.  Like I said, I’m going to get back into touring this year.  Or I was?  I mean, maybe I shouldn’t.”

            Adam cocked an eyebrow.  “Why the hell would you not tour?”

            “After I lost you, I couldn’t get it together enough to do a tour,” Blake explained.  “And now you’re back, and we don’t know how long.  So is it really a good idea to plan a tour, when we got no idea what might happen to you?  I can’t just leave you alone while I tour!”

            Adam shrugged.  “If you’re that worried about me, then why not just take me with you?”

            “I’d like to, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to come,” Blake confessed.  “Would it be too painful for you?  Too much of a reminder of everything you lost?”

            Adam took a bite of toast and chewed thoughtfully, considering the question.  “Honestly, I have no idea,” he admitted.  “But I’d still like to tag along, and honestly, it’s because of everything I’ve lost.  You’re pretty much all I’ve got now, big guy, and I got nowhere else to go.  Besides, I might be useful!  I know touring as well as you do.  I can help with the logistics.  Or maybe I can fill in on an instrument if you lose someone?  If nothing else, I can carry a ladder or a bottle of water or something.”  He sighed.  “Need a back-up dancer?  I guess it’s fairly well known now that I’m qualified for that!”

            Blake looked at him, frowning.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            Adam pointed at Blake’s paper.  “Flip it over.  I just read the most fascinating article on the back, and it’s about this guy I think you know.”

            Blake looked down and flipped his folded paper over, revealing the entertainment section.  And there was his own angry face.  It was a picture from yesterday’s confrontation with Vince.  Blake had hold of the smaller man in an obviously-threatening manner.  Kitty stood, wide-eyed, watching through the series of pictures as Blake shoved Vince to the ground and then turned to address the cameras.  “Blake Shelton Assaults Ex-con, Walks Off With L. A. stripper!” the headlines screamed.

            Blake quickly read the story.  Vince, it appeared, had made good on his threat that Blake hadn’t heard the last of him.  He was telling anyone who listened an absurd sob story about how he’d been trying to convince his stripper girlfriend, who’d been in a car accident and was suffering from amnesia, to come back into her loving home when Blake had suddenly appeared, assaulted him, and made off with Kitty.  Kitty was being portrayed as a confused patient with a head injury.  There were even statements from unnamed members of the hospital staff, confirming that Blake had taken Kitty out of the hospital against medical advice.  Kitty had been in a coma for a week prior.  No further testing had been done.  They were “very concerned” about Kitty’s ability to make her own decisions and felt she needed returned to the hospital.  It had been confirmed once again that Kitty had been among the group who had assaulted and robbed Blake the week before.  The group had stolen a diamond ring given to Blake by Adam Levine.  Now that same ring could be seen on Kitty’s finger in the photos.  Gwen was reported as being “not available for comment,” but that didn’t stop “sources close to Steffani” from reporting that she was “understandably upset.”  And best of all, “sources close to Shelton” were reporting concern for Blake’s state of mind, once again bringing up the deep depression he’d fallen into after losing Adam.  The whole thing made it sound as if Blake had lost his mind, assaulted a man, and all but kidnapped a brain-damaged woman.  Vince sounded like a broken-hearted man desperately trying to get back his poor confused lover.

            Blake pressed his lips together.  “Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the press?”

            “You have mentioned that to me a time or two, yes,” Adam sighed.  “Fuck ‘em, right?  We know what really happened, so who cares what they think?  It’s not like they can come in here and drag me away from you or force me to go back to that prick in the park, right?”

            “Adam, I don’t think you’re really thinking this through.”  Blake folded the paper and faced his friend.  “I know we’re both worried that you’re going to disappear at any moment.  But buddy, what if you aren’t?  What if you end up spending the next seventy-five years growing old in that body?  You’re going to have to start over, Adam.  You know I’ll help you as much as I can, but you’re just too independent.  You’d never be able to just ride my coat tails.  We both know you’ll need to find something to do for yourself!  Whatever you decide to do, you’re going to eventually need backers.  And I don’t know about you, but I don’t know of anyone who might be willing to take a chance on investing with an L. A. stripper with no business background, no education, and something like this article as her only reference!”

            Adam grimaced.  “You’re right, and it’s worse than that.  What’s this shit going to do to you, Blake?  You’re about to start touring again!  Who’s going to want to book you if they think you’re a crazy kidnapper who assaults people in public parks right in front of dozens of cameras?”

            Blake scoffed.  “I ain’t worried about that.”

            “You should be!  The biggest reason we always hated bad press was that, as entertainers, we’re selling a product to the public.  And your image has always been this sweet, charming country bumpkin!  Now you’re looking at assault, consorting with a stripper, hell, that article makes you look like a damned kidnapper!  We gotta set the record straight!”

            Blake stared at him.  “And what, exactly, do you think we can say?  It’s not like we can tell them the truth, Adam!  Carson’s reaction was proof enough of that, wouldn’t you say?”

            Adam’s face fell.  “Yeah.  I guess you’re right.  No one else is going to believe me, are they?”

            “Probably not, buddy,” Blake said softly.  “And I know that hurts you, but it’s the truth.”

            “Well…”  The green eyes flickered as Adam’s mind raced.  Then he brightened.  “We can go with the amnesia thing!  Carson thought that I thought I was me because I was a fan, and knew all these facts about me.  About Adam.  You know what I mean!  Anyway, that could kind of cover for me when I fuck up and say something I shouldn’t know, and still covers why I don’t know anything at all about Kitty.  So if we just play it like I’m Kitty, but I have amnesia and yeah, I mugged you, but you’re just so awesome to take me in?  Then you’re a hero, I’m excused, and everyone’s happy!  Except Vince.  But fuck Vince.”

            Blake considered.  “You know, that might actually work.  Especially if I take advantage of this interview to tell our side of the story!  I can talk about how he was assaulting you and I stepped in because the same assholes selling pictures couldn’t be bothered.  That’ll sway some public opinion towards you.  The irony is, once the actual video is transcribed, it’ll hold up with our side of things.  We can use this shit to our favor!”

            Adam grinned.  “Damn, Shelton, you’re not as dumb as you look!”

            “Yeah, I get that a lot.  Alright, if we’re going to do this, then we need to get our story straight, especially about Adam.  Everyone is going to want to know why you’re wearing him.  We already got caught with two different stories about him by Gwen, so we need…”

            “Blake?  I’m Adam!”

            “Well, yeah, but…”  He noticed the hurt look on Adam’s face and grimaced.  “Oh.  Shit.”  Blake pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Dammit, Adam, I’m tired, and all this shit just happened so fast!  I have referred to that ring as ‘Adam’ since the day I got it.  Most people think I call it that because his – because _your_ – picture is on the side of it, but it’s your Lifegem, you know?  It’s made from your body, so it was the closest thing I had to you!”  Blake’s shoulders slumped.  “I’m sorry, buddy.  I just didn’t think.”

            Adam fiddled with the ring.  “I guess I’d better get used to it.  If you called it ‘Adam’ all this time, then it wouldn’t make sense for you to stop now, would it?”  He looked up and managed to smile at Blake.  “Ok.  So what’s our story?”

            Blake’s mind suddenly went blank.  “Um, you got any ideas?”

            “No?”  Adam rubbed at the back of his neck.  “Come on, jackass, think!  There’s got to be something that people will believe!  If we…”

            The buzzer on the gate in front of the driveway went off.  Blake moved to check the monitor and groaned.  “It’s my mother,” he explained.  “And it looks like she’s got the whole damned family with her!”

            “Ma Shelton?”  Adam brightened.  “I missed Ma Shelton!”

            “You may wish you missed her again.”

            Adam blinked.  “What’s that mean?”

            Blake looked at the monitor and sighed.  “That, unfortunately, means that we are probably in trouble.  They had to have seen that article in the paper, Adam.  And after you died, Carson spent a lot of time out here with me and my family.  After that fiasco yesterday, chances are pretty high that he called.”

            “Oh.”  Adam grimaced.  “Oh shit.  What do we do?”

            “Brace for impact,” Blake advised.  “I suspect things are about to get interesting.”

            A moment later, Ma Shelton herself was knocking at the door.  Blake quickly opened it and embraced her.  “Hi, Ma.”

            “Blake Tollison Shelton, what are you doing?” Ma asked by way of introduction.  “Where are your clothes, boy?  Who answers the door in his PJ bottoms while his girlfriend sits at the table in one of his shirts?  I raised you better!”

            “Oh come on, Ma, it’s pretty obvious what they were doing!”  That was Clyde, Blake’s oldest sibling.  He’d been told they looked a lot alike, but Clyde’s personally could be grating at times.  Adam had frequently complained about Clyde.  And by the look on his face as Clyde strolled in and openly leered at him, Adam was going to complain a bit more.  “You didn’t waste any time, did you, Miss Pretty Kitty?” Clyde told Adam.  “Right from the hospital bed into my brother’s!”

            Adam bristled.

            “Hey, Clyde, why don’t you shut the hell up?” Blake ordered.

            “Clyde Earnest Shelton, you shut your mouth!  And Blake, do not yell at your brother.  That’s my job.”  Ma Shelton waddled in.  The gray-haired woman had Blake’s eyes, but not his height.  She was nearly as big around as she was tall.  But even though all three of her children towered over her, no one sassed Ma Shelton.  Shooing Clyde aside, Ma approached Adam and extended her hand.  “Hello, dear, you must be Kitty Miller?  I’m Blake’s mother Betty, but everyone calls me Ma.”

            “Hello.”  Adam reluctantly shook, still casting dark looks at Clyde.  “This isn’t what it looks like.”

            Ma scoffed.  “Oh, don’t you fret!  So long as you used protection, frankly I’m glad Blake finally got a little something something.  Since he broke up with Gwen, he’s been well overdue.  After all this time, his plumbing must have been filled full to bursting!”

            Blake’s face flamed.  “Dammit, Ma!”

            “Mother, honestly!”  That was Emma.  She moved around her mother to introduce herself.  “I’m Emma Drake, Blake’s big sister.  The loudmouth is our brother Clyde.”

            “And brother Clyde would like to know what you’re doing here, baby brother Blake,” Clyde announced.  “Playing house with an L. A. stripper?”

            “Knock it off, Clyde!” Emma yelled, stomping her foot.  “Blake can date whoever the hell he wants!”

            “She’s right!” Ma confirmed.

            Emma turned to Blake and smiled.  “I get it, Blake.  We know you hated her at first because she mugged you, but then when she was in the coma you felt sorry for her.  So you came and visited her, and that’s when she woke up, right with you in the room, and with no memory!”

            “And she’s so pretty!” Ma cooed.  “I bet sparks flew right away!”

            “So you connected, and now you’re dating.  That part we get,” Emma continued.  “I can even understand why you gave her Adam’s ring.  New start for you both!”  She suddenly looked serious.  “But Blake, we got a call from Carson.  Did you know she told him she actually _was_ Adam Levine?”

            “I was confused,” Adam called.  “I shouldn’t have left the hospital so soon.  Then Blake tried to talk to me, tell me I wasn’t Adam, and I got upset and stormed out.  I ended up going to Levine’s old place, Carson was there…”  He shrugged.  “Like I said, I was confused.  That whole head injury thing, the amnesia?  For a while, I had no idea who I actually was!”

            Blake was impressed.  Say what you wanted about Adam’s acting skills, he was spilling a brilliant line of bullshit.  And it worked.  Instantly, Ma was at Adam’s side.  “Oh, you poor thing!” she soothed.  “And Blake gave you Adam to help ground you to reality, didn’t he?  Does it help?  Wearing Adam, I mean?”

            “Oh, definitely!” Adam agreed.  “I really think if I ever took him off, I just might lose myself completely!”

            Ma hugged him tightly.  Then she glowered at her youngest son.  “Blake, get her some clothes, what is wrong with you, boy?  If you’re going to dress her up in one of your shirts, why couldn’t you have given her some pants, too?”

            “I actually have clothes,” Adam offered.

            “Good, then let your boyfriend take you and get you dressed.”

            “Ma, she’s capable of dressing herself!” Blake protested weakly.

            Ma’s face darkened in disapproval.

            A moment later, Blake found himself leading Adam to his room.  As soon as he shut the door, he leaned against it and groaned.  “Holy shit, Adam, they think we’re dating!  Dammit, I’m so sorry!”

            “No, actually, that works!  We needed a reason for me to have the ring, that’s it!  We’re both making a new start, and dating!  That’s perfect!  Now, I’m sure they’re pretty concerned, what with Kitty’s past, but we can use this.  If we’re dating, that will explain why we’re together so much, why I’ve got the ring, why I’m on tour with you, all of it!  And once I figure out what to do with whatever time I’ve got left, we’ll have a public but friendly break-up and you’re a free man.  Meanwhile, if someone else comes along you’re interested in, we can have that break-up early and just stay BFFs.  Sound good?”

            Blake looked at him.  “Are you really alright with that, Adam?  You know, considering what you told me last night?”

            Adam looked up at him through solemn green eyes.  “Blake, I’m not gonna lie.  It’s gonna hurt me to pretend to have something with you I’ve wanted so long.  But I’ll do it.  I’m the one who wandered off, you got into this mess because you were defending me, and now you’re stuck with the results.  I can suck it up.  I’ll be fine, I promise.”  He grinned.  “Besides, it’s not like we haven’t kissed before, right?”

            Blake rolled his eyes.  “Not like that, ya moron!”

            “So just give me the occasional peck on the cheek like we used to do!  It’s not like you have to shove your tongue down my throat, right?  We’ll hold hands, exchange loving glances!”  Adam batted his lashes at Blake.  “What’s the worst that could happen?”

            “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  We can just…  Whoa!”  Blake quickly turned around, face flaming.  “Dammit, Adam, you jackass!  Warn a guy before you pull off your shirt!”

            “Oh.  Shit.  Sorry, Big Country.  I didn’t think…”

            Blake ground his teeth.  “That is the story of your damned life, isn’t it?  Holy shit, Adam, you’re a woman now, you cannot just rip off your shirt anymore, especially not with me right in the damned room!  Now I’m getting a hard-on and my mother is out there!”

            Adam paused.  “Do you really have a hard-on?”

            “Just hurry up and get dressed!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun thinks Clyde is a douchebag. Says it was funny what happened to Blake at the end and that Adam keeps forgetting. Loves Ma Shelton and should, she's loosely based on his mother! Woman had five sons and a daughter and takes zero shit from any of them, love her!!!


	12. Family Values

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Blake face their most intimidating opponent - Ma Shelton!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the reader who just messaged me on Tumblr, saying you needed another chapter to get through your week? I hope this helps and your week goes better!

            Adam had never really cared for Clyde.  He’d met the man a number of times, especially when he’d tagged along with Blake at family gatherings.  The brothers looked a lot alike and were the same height.  But there the resemblance ended.  Adam considered Clyde Shelton to be the polar opposite of his best friend.  Where Blake was gentle, caring, selfless and kind, his older brother was rude, crude, self-centered and often cruel.  He and Adam had disliked each other pretty much at first sight.  For some reason, Clyde seemed personally offended that his brother was so close to Adam.  He had never missed a chance to slip in an insult of some kind, some low-key slight against Adam that he usually played off as joining in with Blake in teasing Adam.  Adam had endured slights against his hometown, his tattoos, his voice, his music, his clothing, his height, and anything else that Clyde could think of to throw at him.  But the moment Adam started to get irritated, the man had wisely backed down, acting as if it were all just a joke.  And of course, he was Blake’s brother.  It was the only thing that had saved the bastard from a long overdue punch in the mouth.

            Now Adam added “misogynistic pervert” to the growing list of reasons he would never get along with Blake’s big brother.

            Clyde was making Adam’s skin crawl.  He could practically feel Clyde undressing him with his eyes.  And he wasn’t holding back his crude comments either.  “I hope to hell you bagged it before you did her, Blake,” he was saying now.  “You know those strippers sell it to the richest customers in those private rooms!”

            “Clyde, I swear to the almighty above, if you insinuate that this girl is a whore one more time, I do not care how old you are!” Ma exclaimed as Blake leapt to his feet to confront Clyde.  “I will turn you right over my knee, drop yer britches, and spank your ass until it is cherry red right in front of her and your sister!”

            “I’m just worried about Blakey, Ma!” Clyde defended.  “Do you want him to end up with an STD?”

            “Considering the fact that you’ve slept with half the women we went to school with, that’s the pot calling the kettle black!” Blake yelled.  He’d gotten up out of his seat and was standing with his fists clenched as he faced his brother.  “You had the clap by the time you were sixteen years old!”

            “And I learned my lesson, didn’t I?” Clyde challenged, rising to face Blake.  “Ya just need to learn from my experience.”

            “Boys, sit your asses down!” Ma barked.

            Both brothers immediately sat.  But that didn’t keep them from glaring at each other.

            “The thing is, Miss Miller, we’re all worried about Blake,” Emma said.  Her calm, quiet voice somehow cut through the bristling brothers.  “None of us want to see him get hurt, and we’re afraid you’re…  Well…”

            “Unbalanced?” Adam supplied helpfully.  “That’s precisely why Blake brought me here!  Well, that, and…”  He slipped his hand into Blake’s.

            Blake blinked in surprise.  Then he got with the program, pulled Adam out of his seat, and sat down in it himself, dragging Adam into his lap.  “The bottom line is I’m a grown-ass man,” he said.  “And Ma, you didn’t raise me as a fool, ok?”

            “No one thinks you’re a fool, Blake,” Clyde sighed.  “It’s just that you never were the best judge of women, you know?  I mean, two divorces?”

            Now Adam bristled.  “Blake’s marriages didn’t work out for their own reasons.  And frankly, his relationships are none of your business!  That goes for all of them, past, present and future!”

            “She said, with absolutely no intention of pointing at herself,” Clyde said.

            Adam was suddenly glad for Blake’s arms around his waist.  They kept him from running over and decking Clyde.  Instead, he put one hand over Blake’s hand on his waist and the other daringly on Blake’s knee.  “Not that our relationship is any of your business either, but since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you.  I never chased after your brother.  My memories are gone because I got my brains scrambled in that car crash.  I don’t even remember the car crash, or anyone who was in the car with me.  But I was the only survivor!  That’s how serious that accident was, alright?  I walked around, made the mistake of accepting a ride from a stranger, nearly got raped for my pains, and got completely confused when I called Blake for help.”

            “We heard,” Clyde said dryly.  “You started screaming at him that you were Adam Levine!”

            “What part of ‘I was completely confused’ is not getting through to you?” Adam snapped.  “I had a serious head injury that I still have not completely recovered from!  In fact, I’m told I was injured so badly that I passed out shortly after Blake showed up and ended up in a coma!  But despite everything, Blake was there when I woke up.  He was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, and like you said, we connected!”  He didn’t miss the chance to make moon eyes at Blake.  “I’m grateful for everything he’s done for me.  No one else in the world cared enough to even visit me!  I had no family, no friends, and that prick in the park is a complete stranger to me.  And for the record, Blake didn’t attack an innocent man and drag me off, ok?  After he took me out of the hospital, I got confused about who I was again.  So I ran off, went to Carson, ran away from him when he didn’t believe me, went to the park to think, and that’s where I ran into that asshole Vince guy.  He tried to drag me away, and I didn’t want to go with him because I had no idea who he was, ok?  But he wouldn’t take no for an answer!  He was trying to literally drag me away right there in that park when Blake stepped in.  Blake helped me when absolutely no one else would!  He is the last person in the world who should have been at my side when I woke up, yet there he was!  He had no reason to do anything except have me arrested.  But instead, he took me home and cared for me.  And then, even though I’d just run off, he came after me and helped me when I needed it most!”  Adam squeezed Blake’s hand.  “Blake saved me, alright?  For that reason alone, I would never do anything to hurt him.”

            Clyde rolled his eyes.  “Of course not.  You’d lose your meal ticket!  Ow, Ma!”

            Clyde’s ear was suddenly firmly pinched by a pair of plump fingers.  “You are speaking to a lady, Clyde!  Act like it!”

            “Yes, ma’am, please let go of my ear?”

            If Adam hadn’t loved Ma Shelton before, he certainly did now.  Ma was a southern belle who believed in manners.  She encouraged her children to be kind.  With force.

            “What my brother should have said is that the fact you don’t have anyone or anything makes your being with Blake even more suspect,” Emma said.  “Blake’s got a lot of money.  You’d hardly be the first pretty girl who came after him, hoping for a shot at that money.”

            “I don’t want his money!” Adam exclaimed, flustered.  “I’ve got…!”

            Blake’s arms suddenly squeezed hard around him, and Adam immediately went silent, realizing his mistake.

            But Ma, unfortunately, noticed.  “You were about to say you’ve got your own money, weren’t you, Miss Miller?  Even though we all know you don’t?”

            Adam squirmed.  “It’s Kitty.  Sorry.  I’m still a little confused sometimes.”

            Ma’s blue eyes seemed to pierce through him.  “Kitty?  Tell me the truth.  Are you still having some trouble with remembering you’re not actually Adam Levine?”

            “If you are, just take a look down,” Clyde offered.  “There’s a couple of things jutting from your bow that should be a fairly vivid reminder!”

            Blake actually snarled.  “Clyde, you son of a bitch!”

            “Blake, are you calling me a bitch?” Ma asked quietly.  “I hope you realize that makes you the same thing, since I birthed both of you!”

            “Sorry, Ma,” Blake apologized.  He glared daggers at Clyde, who smirked at him.

            “Honestly, though, Clyde, why must you be so crude?” Emma exclaimed.

            “Because look at her!”  Clyde took advantage of the opportunity to openly eye Adam, making Adam fight against the urge to cover himself.  “Y’all can make nice all ya want, but the facts are the facts.  She looks like precisely what she is, an L. A. stripper!  That’s bad enough, but when you combine that with the fact she’s also batshit crazy?”

            “She’s got brain damage!” Blake yelled.  “She’s not crazy, Clyde, she’s injured!”

            “It’s no different than if she’d hurt her leg and was walking with a limp,” Emma explained.  “Except it’s her brain that’s limping.”

            “Well, she needs to limp right out of Blake’s life!”

            “What, exactly, is your big issue with me, Clyde?” Adam demanded.  “Are you upset because I’m from L. A., I’m a stripper, I’m with your brother, or because I’m confused?”

            “All of the above, plus one more that no one else seems to be considering.  She woke up, and immediately insisted that Blake take her out of the hospital.  The hospital folks wanted to do tests on her, and she wouldn’t let them!  So honestly, how the hell do we know if she’s really brain damaged and confused?  How do we know she’s not just flat-out insane, and just after our brother’s money?”

            Adam sucked in his breath.  He hated to admit it, but Clyde had just made a damned good point.

            Fortunately, Blake didn’t miss a beat.  “How do we know?  Because she was in a fucking _coma_ for a week, you stupid asshole!  The reason I went to see her the day I did was because it was my last chance.  They were about to send her to a nursing home if she failed one more brain scan.  She didn’t need to stay and have her head scanned because they’d been scanning it all week!  You want to try to say she was faking that, Clyde?”

            “You really were in a bad way, weren’t you, dear?” Ma soothed.

            Adam nodded, looking tragic.  He clung to Blake and even managed to add a faint tremble to his lip.  Ma’s face radiated sympathy, and Emma glowered at Clyde.  _And people say I can’t act!_

            Of course, Clyde wasn’t done.  “Ok, fine, she’s probably really brain damaged,” he admitted.  “But that’s another point in and of itself.  If she’s brain damaged and so messed up she keeps thinking she’s Adam Levine, that’s all the more reason she belongs in a hospital somewhere!  You’re not doing her any favors keeping her here, Blake.”

            “I disagree!” Adam challenged.  “Blake knew Adam better than anyone else in the world.  No one could do a better job of helping me get my head straightened out than he could.  And he’s done so much for me already!”  He fondly squeezed Blake’s arm.  “I don’t know what I’d do if he wasn’t there for me.”

            “Then promise me one thing,” Emma said.  “Blake, Kitty does need ongoing monitoring, continuing medical care.  You have to make sure she gets it!  Promise me that you will take her to the hospital, if not today, then first thing tomorrow!”

            “I’m not letting them keep me in a hospital,” Adam declared.

            “Damned right they’re not keeping her,” Blake agreed.  “She’s staying right here with me!”

            Emma gave a strained smile.  “That’s not what I’m saying at all!  You maybe don’t need admitted, but you do need a check-up, Kitty.  What if you pass out again?  You were in a coma for a week!  What happens if you slip right back into one?”

            That made Adam pause.  He felt Blake stiffen, and the arms tightened around his waist.

            Then it finally occurred to Adam that he was sitting on Blake’s lap, that Blake had actually pulled him there, and that now Blake was holding him just like he used to do.  A warm glow seemed to spread through Adam’s body.  He straightened and looked at Emma.  “I’ll go for a check-up, but like I said, they’re not keeping me.  Whatever they decide to do with me, they’re doing it outpatient.”

            Clyde cocked an eyebrow.  “Do you even have insurance, Kitty?”

            “I’ll take care of it,” Blake called.

            Adam scowled and twisted around to glare at Blake.  “Dammit, Blake!  You do realize that you’re proving certain points for people, right?  I’ll find a way to…”

            The arms around Adam pulled him back.  Adam suddenly found himself pressed against Blake’s chest and grew still.  “My girlfriend, who was in a serious car accident and was in a coma for a week, needs seen by the doctor,” Blake declared.  “I’m taking care of her, and while I love y’all, I really do not give a shit how it looks.  Sorry, Ma.”

            Blake’s voice rumbled in his chest, vibrating against Adam’s back.  Adam shivered, the warm glow getting even warmer.

            “Well, of course you’re going to take care of her hospital bills!” Ma declared.  “You have the means, after all, and she’s in need.  That’s just Christian decency.”

            “Yes, of course,” Emma agreed.  “But Blake, if they advise her to stay?”

            “For the last time, they’re not keeping me!” Adam yelled.

            “No one is keeping her anywhere she doesn’t want to be,” Blake declared.  His face was looking past Adam’s shoulder, giving Adam a close-up view of the set of his jaw.  “If she really needs care, I’ll get her private nurses.  But I’m taking her home, and I’m keeping her right here!  That’s the end of it!”

            Adam thought his heart might burst at any moment.  _Holy shit, how can he be so damned handsome?_   He didn’t have to fake the adoring look he gave Blake now.  Blake smiled and gently kissed his temple.  Adam shivered.  Then he immediately hated himself for enjoying their fake relationship so much.  _It’s not real, Levine,_ he reminded himself.  _Blake’s doing this because you screwed up, and now he’s gotta put on this song and dance for his own family!  You cocked this up for him.  You better find a way to make it right!_

            Still, it did feel nice.  And it was the closest Adam would ever come to having an actual relationship with Blake.  _Well, maybe it’s ok to enjoy it just a little?_

            “Blake?”  Emma was speaking again.  “You know I’m a nurse.  If it comes to that, I’ll take a shift caring for Kitty myself.  I can help you hire help, too.  But think about what you’re asking her to do!  You’ve been lonely for a long time, and I’m glad, honestly glad, that you finally found someone you want to be with.  But Kitty, no offense, but you really do not belong out here in the country.  Do you know anything about being on a ranch, or what’s expected of a good country woman?”

            “I can learn!” Adam challenged.

            “And what do you plan to do to make a living?” Clyde asked.  “You going to sign on for Paul Stevens at the strip club at the edge of town?  I bet that pig would love to have you!”

            “You’d know, Clyde!” Emma retorted.  “God knows you’ve spent enough time out there.”

            “Yeah, I do know,” Clyde admitted, unashamed.  “And I gotta tell you, Kitty.  You’re a helluva lot better than what they got out there now!  Besides, it’s pretty much the only thing you’re qualified to do!”

            Ma narrowed her eyes at her oldest child.  “Clyde!”

            “No, he’s got a point,” Adam sighed, surprising everyone.  “I don’t have a resume or a degree or anything that I’d need to start a career.  But I can work on that, too.  I can get my GED, take classes…  I can learn whatever it is that I need to know about living on a ranch with Blake!”

            “And I’ll help her,” Emma declared.

            “Oh sure,” Clyde drawled.  “Turn an L. A. stripper into a good country woman.  Right, that’ll happen.”

            “Why not?” Emma challenged.  “Kitty, if you’re willing to learn, then I’m willing to try!”

            “If I try, will the rest of you give me a chance?” Adam asked.  “Let me prove that I’m serious, that I’m not just here for Blake’s money?”

            “Of course!” Ma said.

            “Then I’ll do it.”  For Blake, he’d do anything.

            Behind him, he could feel Blake shift uncomfortably.  “You don’t have to do this,” Blake warned.  “I like you fine just as you are!”

            Adam dared to reach back and gently brush the pads of his fingers along Blake’s cheek.  The slight stubble sent shivers down his spine.  “Blake, it’s alright,” he assured.  “I want to do this.  If Emma can teach me, then I can learn!”

            “Then it’s settled!”  Ma stood up.  “Emma can help her with whatever she needs.”

            “After she’s seen by a doctor,” Emma stressed.  “Blake, you really need to get her in.”

            “She needs a complete check-up,” Clyde called, still eyeing Adam.  “And I do mean all over, if you know what I mean?  Especially if she’s going to be sleeping with Blake!”

            “Dammit, Clyde!”

            “No, he’s right,” Adam agreed.  “If I was with someone like Vince, then I honestly would like to be examined.”  He intentionally pushed what that would involve out of his head.

            “Fine.  I’ll take her to the outpatient clinic right after you go, and she can get a full check-up.”  He smiled over Adam’s shoulder.  “Thank you.  I really do appreciate that y’all are looking out for me.  I guess I haven’t exactly given you cause lately to believe I’m capable of doing alright on my own.  But Kitty helps.  You have no idea how much Kitty helps!”  His arms gently hugged Adam.  “With her here, I think I can finally move on, let Adam go, and get back to living again.  And y’all know how long it’s been since I really believed that!”

            The eyes of all three softened even as Adam’s heart ached.  But at least Blake’s family seemed satisfied.  They said their goodbyes and finally, Adam and Blake were alone once more.

            “Get your coat,” Blake ordered before Adam could say a word.  “I’ll get you to the clinic, get this over with before the interview.”

            “Blake, are you sure you’re ok with this?” Adam asked anxiously.  “Pretending to be dating me, I mean.”

            “I ain’t pretending to date you, ya moron, I’m pretending to date Kitty!  But yeah, I’m ok with it.  I gotta be.  No one is taking you away from me again, Adam!  Not even my own damned family!”

            It was an amazing thing.  Until that moment, Adam never knew that a heart could soar even as it ached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr Fun really liked that last bit! Yelled at Clyde, called him a fucking douche and thinks Blake needs to punch him in the mouth.


	13. Magic Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam gets a physical. Blake finally gets some answers.

            The clinic was fairly quiet when Blake brought Adam in, which meant they were seen quickly.  Naturally, Blake hadn’t been present for Adam’s internal exam.  But he’d been hovering anxiously near the door in the waiting room.  It seemed to take forever.  At one point, Blake could have sworn he heard Adam yell.  But no one came out.

            An eternity later, Adam finally emerged.  His face was flaming.  “Women,” he announced, “never get enough credit.”

            Blake cocked an eyebrow.  “That bad?”

            Somehow, Adam’s face got even redder.  “I don’t wanna talk about it!”

            Blake wisely chose not to press the issue.  But at least Kitty was healthy all over, stripper or no.  As Blake suspected, they recommended a follow-up with a neurologist, which Blake fully intended to keep.  But after they’d peered into Adam’s eyes, tested his reflexes, and did all the nice medical things to his friend that went into an exam, they declared that Adam was safe to go home.  Adam had denied headaches or flashing lights or anything funny.  Blake grilled him about it in private, and Adam swore he was telling the truth.  Well, the neurology appointment would be the final check.  For now, though, Blake felt much better. 

            Adam’s body was stable.  That meant Adam could stay in it.  It was all Blake cared about. 

            He took Adam’s hand as they headed out, almost to reassure himself.  Adam didn’t seem to mind.  They had to act like they were dating after all.  In truth, though, Blake mostly wanted to reassure himself.  Adam’s tiny hand was solid and warm as it held to his own.  Blake’s hand nearly swallowed it.  Tension Blake hadn’t known he had drained out of his shoulders.  He smiled down at Adam, received a smile in return.

            He’d stay.  Adam would stay.

            It happened when they were walking out to the parking lot.  Blake had noticed the man storming over to them and had inwardly groaned.  It was probably someone who read about them in the paper and decided he had every right to say whatever was on his mind because they were celebrities, or at least Blake still was.  Hardly the first time that happened.  Especially when “The Voice” was on the air, people would see him every week and feel as if they somehow knew Blake.  People he’d never met before in his life would come up to him and start chatting as if they were old friends.  But every so often, someone would come up and complain about something.  By the look on this guy’s face, Blake suspected he was one of those.  Blake gave a long-suffering sigh and moved so that he was standing in between Adam and the man.

            “You!” the man called as he approached.  “Spirit!  You get out of that girl!  You’ve got no right to be there, you’re dead!”

            That made both of them stop in their tracks.

            The man now turned his angry face towards Blake.  “Did you do this?” he asked.  “Did you drag this ghost into this poor girl’s body?  You did, didn’t you?  Just because you have the power to do it doesn’t mean you should!  I’m sorry your girlfriend’s dead, but animating her body with a ghost won’t…”

            “Ok, how about you walk over here with us, away from where people might hear you?” Blake suggested, his eyes on the people nearby who had stopped to stare.  He put one arm around the shoulders of a stunned Adam and grabbed the man’s arm with his other.  Then he marched them both into the corner of the parking lot.

            Once there, he turned to face the man, keeping his arm around Adam’s shoulders.  “Alright,” he said.  “Let’s hear what you have to say.  What do you think is going on here?”

            “Well, I’m not sure anymore,” the man confessed.  He was frowning as he stared at Adam.  “I saw this spirit attached to this girl’s body, and knew she was possessed.  But then I realized the body wasn’t inhabited, and…”

            “Not inhabited?  What do you mean, not inhabited?”

            “Well, ask the spirit!  It should know!”  The man said this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  “Nothing can possess the body of a strong-willed person, and it takes a great deal of power to be able to anchor a ghost into a living body.  When I saw that, except for the spirit, the body was otherwise uninhabited, I assumed…”

            “Ok, slow down!” Adam called.  “Hold the phone, would you, buddy?  I have, like, no idea what you are talking about.  Whatever you read in the gossip papers, we’re just a couple of people who don’t believe in ghosts or spirits or anything else, and we’re really not interested in a psychic reading.  Ok, thanks, bye bye!”

            Blake appreciated the irony of the ghost of a dead man inside a strange woman’s body giving a brush-off to a psychic by saying he didn’t believe in ghosts.  But then again, Adam had never been one for the occult.  He was Jewish and kept his beliefs for the most part, but any time anyone would bring up anything related to the occult, Adam had always rolled his eyes, changed the subject, or simply walked away.  For his part, Blake had always been open to the idea, and never more so than he was now.  Still, he needed to be careful.  “What, exactly, are you accusing us of here?” he asked.

            The man had the decency to look embarrassed.  “I’m sorry.  I think I overreacted and made a mistake.  I’m not sensing psychic power in either one of you.  It’s that ring she’s wearing, isn’t it?  It’s…  Good heavens, is that made from this spirit’s mortal body?  Well no wonder!”

            Adam groaned loudly and started away.  Blake casually caught him by the shirt collar, bringing him up short with a strangled squawk.  “What do you mean, no wonder?” Blake asked, ignoring the look Adam was giving him as he tried to twist the collar of his shirt out of Blake’s hand.  “What about the ring now?”

            “Well, it’s surprising even as it makes perfect sense,” the man explained.  “I assume it’s made with cremains, right?  The ashes of a cremated body?  That means the body was destroyed, and in the process of becoming a diamond, it was destroyed utterly!  That should have left the spirit with no anchor.  But at the same time, it’s a proven fact that the spirits of the deceased are often linked to items of great personal significance.  What could be more personally significant than a diamond made from cremains?  Add to that the fact that crystals have always been used to channel spiritual energy and, assuming the spirit could hold on through the destruction of its body, you’ve got the perfect conduit, easily capable of channeling a possession!”

            “Uh huh.”  Blake nodded sagely, ignoring Adam’s continued attempts to struggle free.  “And what would that be in plain, simple English?”

            “It means that, in most cases, between the cremation and the process of forming the diamond itself, the complete destruction of the body would sever the spirit’s link to this plane,” the man said.  He was speaking slowly and plainly, as if addressing a small child or a very simple-minded person.  “But if the spirit were to maintain its hold through the process of creation, the diamond created would be extremely powerful.  Easily powerful enough to draw a spirit into an otherwise-unoccupied body.”

            Adam was hissing angrily at Blake now, shoving at the larger man with balled fists.  Blake quickly let go of his collar and slipped an arm around him to hold him in place.  “How about we discuss this more in private?” he asked.

            Adam groaned dramatically.

            “I’d be happy to!”  The man smiled.  “If you want to come with me, my place isn’t far from here.  I could answer your questions as much as I’m capable.”

            “Of course you could,” Adam grumbled.  “For a small fee!  Blake, this guy’s a nut, can we please just go?”

            In answer, Blake took hold of Adam’s arm and started following, pulling his protesting friend behind after him.

****

            The man was short, balding, and overweight.  Watery blue eyes swam behind thick wire-rimmed glasses.  He led Blake and Adam into the door of a large garage and up the stairs, where he invited them into a tiny efficiency apartment.  Inside, he started bustling around, tutting like an anxious mother hen.  “I know it’s not much,” he said as he hurried to clear some room for his guests on his messy sofa.  “And you probably think it’s a bit strange that a 45-year-old man lives alone in an apartment above his mom’s garage.  But my gifts make it a bit hard to make friends, let alone date.”

            “Oh, I’m sure,” Adam grumbled as Blake dragged him down onto the sofa next to him.  “And what’s your name?  Murgo the Magnificent?”

            “Actually, it’s Mark.”  Mark eyed Adam, and then extended a hand to Blake.  “Mark Donner.  And you’re Blake Shelton.”

            “Did you get that from the spirits?” Adam asked.

            “No, he’s the most famous guy in town.  I recognized him.”

            Blake kicked Adam as he smiled at Mark.  “Alright, Mark, you certainly know how to get a fella’s attention.  So, let’s talk.”

            “Well, I’m not sure where to start,” Mark said.  He moved a half-empty pizza box aside and sat down on the ottoman in front of the couch.  “I didn’t recognize you at first, Mr. Shelton.  I just saw the spirit possessing this girl and had to do something about it.”

            “Had to do something, right,” Adam grumbled.  “That’s big of you, Nostra-dumbass.”  Blake kicked him again, earning himself a scowl.

            “Here’s the thing.  Usually, when I see a clear case of possession, either the person possessed or the one with that person is grateful for my assistance.  Despite what this spirit, who apparently thinks I’m deaf, keeps grumbling, I don’t actually get paid for using my gifts.  I’m not against accepting gifts people offer me as thanks…”

            “Of course not.”  Adam quickly moved his leg, dodging yet another kick.

            “…But if you’ll take a look around?”  Mark raised his hands, indicating his apartment.  “No tacky crystal balls, no runes, no wards, not even a dreamcatcher or a pentagram.  I’m an accountant, not a psychic.  I just have certain gifts that I’ve developed through the years.  So I use them to try to help people.  By doing that, I was put in touch with others like myself…”

            “The Psychic Network?” Adam guessed.  This time Blake slapped him in the back of his head.  Adam winced and glared.

            Mark fixed Adam with a steady gaze.  “I can see there’s not much point in explaining anything further about myself.  So I’ll cut to the chase and tell you what you came here to hear.  If it hasn’t been summoned, then there’s only one reason that a spirit would linger, and that’s unfinished business.  Something kept you anchored to this world despite your body being completely destroyed, and now your energy is being channeled through that diamond into this empty vessel.”

            “Ok, what can you tell us about this ‘Empty Vessel’ you keep mentioning?” Blake asked.  “You’re talking about Kitty’s body?”

            “Kitty, that’s the name of the girl?  I’m sorry to inform you, but she’s passed on from this world.  And that’s probably how this came to be, this possession.  If she was wearing that ring the instant she died, then it’s possible they, well, crossed streams, for lack of a better term.  The diamond channeled him into the body just as she was passing out of it, and he just sort of plugged in to her connections.”

            “Then she isn’t coming back?”  Blake couldn’t keep the relief out of his voice.  “There’s no chance she’ll show up and boot him out?”

            “Not likely.  Not unless she’s actively summoned back into the body, and even then it’s iffy.  She died, and she’s already gone on.  I sense no trace of her at all.”

            “Exactly how much are you planning to charge Blake for all this, Super Swami?” Adam asked.  Blake narrowed his eyes at him, and Adam cringed.

            “It’s alright,” Mark soothed.  “Trust me, I get it all the time, ok?  I’ve heard every Johnny Carson joke known to man, every little dig and slight anyone could ever think of to describe someone with my abilities.  And they don’t bother me anymore.  But really, this is the first time that I’ve ever had a ghost insult me about my abilities.  There’s the pot calling the kettle black, and then there’s you, spirit!  What’s your name?”

            Adam opened his mouth, caught the murderous look Blake was giving him, and closed it again with a slight snap.  He eyed Blake again.  “I’m Adam Levine,” he said, subdued.

            “I guessed that’s who you were, but I wanted to be sure.  Once again, I have no intention of charging, but I’m not above accepting a small gift in appreciation of my services.  Otherwise, I do have a regular job in an office that I go to every day.  No one there has any idea about my gifts and I prefer to keep it that way.  Now, Mr. Levine!  I can help you to move on.  The exorcism ritual is very simple, and…”

            “No no!” Blake called.  “Don’t do that.  If Kitty’s not in that body anymore, there’s no reason Adam can’t have it, right?”

            “Well, no, I suppose not.”  Mark seemed taken aback.  “But it’s a bit strange.  Really, it’s best if we help him accept his fate and move on!  The ritual…”

            “Adam’s fine right where he is,” Blake declared.  “In fact, what can we do to make sure he stays anchored into that body?  Is there some sort of spell, or…?”

            Adam sighed loudly.  “Bust out the wand, Magic Mark!  Blake wants a magic spell to staple me into this body!”

            “If there is one, I wouldn’t know anything about it,” Mark retorted.  “I’m a seer, not a magician, if there even is such a thing as a magician!  But really, the two of you are being pretty selfish here.  What about the girl?  She’s passed on from this world, and does anyone know to mourn her?  What about her family?  Don’t you think they might want to bury her?”

            “She doesn’t seem to have a family,” Blake said.  “She was in the hospital for a week and not a single visitor.  All she has is a piece of shit boyfriend that she’s done with now, and good riddance to bad rubbish!  I’m sorry she’s gone, especially now we’ve learned a bit about how shitty her life was.  But I can’t change the fact she was in a car accident.  The thing is, her body’s available.  Now Adam’s in it, and there’s no reason he can’t stay!  No, this couldn’t be more perfect unless Adam was back in his old body.  But unfortunately?”  Blake gestured towards Adam’s ring.

            “I see.”  Mark considered.  “Have you tried taking the ring off?”

            “That’s actually how she ended up in the hospital for a week,” Blake confessed.  “She went into a coma.  But I suppose, if the body isn’t inhabited unless he’s in it, that makes sense.”

            “So does a lingering head injury,” Mark pointed out.  “Not everything’s to do with spirits.”

            Adam wisely chose to keep quiet.

            “Well, when I put the ring back on, he woke up again almost immediately,” Blake pointed out.

            “That ring is channeling pure spiritual energy.  That’s chi, which is healing energy.  So it’s possible that, when you put the ring on, the spirit’s energy simply finished the process of healing her body as a sort of side effect.” 

            “Either way, she’s up walking around because of Adam!” Blake insisted.  “So he’s got every right to be there, in that body.”

            Mark raised his hands in supplication.  “I’m not saying one way or the other.  You’re probably right.  That ring is a very powerful artifact, and it may very well need physical contact to work.  Have you noticed any changes in him since he’s been in the body?  Physical changes in the body itself that put you in mind of Mr. Levine?”

            Blake thought about Adam’s scent, how he kept thinking he’d caught a whiff of it from Kitty.  “Yeah, maybe a little?”

            “Alright.  Here’s what I think.  Understand, this is speculation, because I don’t exactly encounter this every day.  I’ll have to do a bit of research, make some contacts, and then meet with you again.”

            “I’ll meet with you as much as you need,” Blake assured.

            Adam stirred, eyed Blake, and again remained silent.

            Mark ignored him.  “There’s a chance that the possession could become permanent.  If he’s inside of that body long enough, and strong enough to affect actual physical change, then eventually he could reach the point where he simply makes that body his own.  But until and unless that happens, he could be exorcised or jarred out of it easily.”

            Blake straightened.  “What’s that mean?  What could jar him out of his body, outside of taking the ring off?”

            “Anything, really.  Any sort of strong shock.”  Mark began to tick off possibilities on his fingers.  “A serious physical trauma could knock him out.  A head injury would definitely do the job.  But don’t forget emotional shock.  Good emotions would be, well good.  If he’s happy, it may help keep him in the body.  But something like hurt, anger, humiliation, the things that make us instinctively want to escape?  Well, Mr. Levine actually does have that option.  Especially if he can’t complete his unfinished business!”

            This time, Adam actually looked interested.  “And what if, just theoretically, I already completed that unfinished business?”

            “Well, then you could pop off at any time,” Mark announced.

            “No, you can’t!” Blake ordered.  “Mark, I need something to keep him here, alright?  You know I got money.  I can pay you!”

            Adam groaned.  “Dammit, Blake!”

            “Shut up, Adam.  Mark, I’m serious.  How the hell do I keep him from, as you so gently put it, popping off?”

            “Keep him happy, I imagine,” Mark replied.  “Keep him safe.  Wrap him in bubble wrap if you have to, until he’s able to anchor into that body.  Then give him a reason to stay!  Because until then, his hold on that body is tenuous, at best.  Oh, and one more thing.  Don’t take that ring off.  If taking it off pulled him out of that body once already?  Then chances are very high the next time that ring comes off, he’s never coming back.”

****

            “Dude, would you just stop?” Adam asked.  He was curled up in the passenger seat of Blake’s truck again, looking surly.  “That Mark asshole obviously read about Kitty in the paper, figured out somehow what the ring really was, and then learned through whatever underhanded means about my little ‘delusion.’”  He made air quotes.  “He probably thinks he’s pulling a fast one on a couple of delusional people!  And why the hell did you give him money?  You’re just encouraging him!”

            Blake didn’t answer, knowing Adam likely didn’t expect a reply anyway.  He reached over and tugged on Adam’s seat belt, tightening it.  “Just be careful from now on,” he encouraged.  “Just to be sure.  I’m not ready to lose you again.”

            Adam’s scowl deepened.  “I’m not planning to pop off, alright?  And wasn’t that just cute?  Pop off.  What an idiot.  People like that drive me nuts!  They prey on the weak right when they’re at their weakest!  This one guy I knew…”

            Adam was off on another rant.  But Blake wasn’t listening.

            _“Any sort of strong shock.  A serious physical trauma could knock him out.  A head injury would definitely do the job.  But don’t forget emotional shock.  Something like hurt, anger, humiliation, the things that make us instinctively want to escape?  Well, Mr. Levine actually does have that option.”_

_“Keep him happy.  Keep him safe.  Wrap him in bubble wrap if you have to, until he’s able to anchor into that body.  Then give him a reason to stay!  Because until then, his hold on that body is tenuous, at best._

_“Chances are very high the next time that ring comes off, he’s never coming back.”_

            Blake couldn’t, wouldn’t, lose Adam again.

            _I’ll keep you safe,_ he silently promised the complaining, grumbling figure next to him.  _I’ll do what I can to make you happy.  I’ll make damned sure that you stay.  Because I can’t be without you again!_

            Adam would stay.

            Blake would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun liked this chapter! Was really cool to hear the explanation. It was really funny when he talked to them like they were infants, laughed a lot. Thinks Adam was being a stupid assbag.


	14. Bubble Wrap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake has plans for Adam...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by our Nutcracker!

            Adam was sprawled on the floor in the middle of Blake’s living room.  His upper body was propped on pillows, and a controller for a game console was in his hands.  He was cursing savagely at the television screen, convinced that the game he was playing was somehow cheating again.

            Blake paid him no attention.  He’d managed to hold it together and thought he’d done a decent job at the interview.  Blake had told his side of the story about the altercation in the park.  No, he and Gwen weren’t dating, hadn’t been for months.  Yes, he was dating Kitty Miller.  And yes, he knew she was a stripper, and also part of the group that mugged him.  If Blake wasn’t holding any of that against her, what right had anyone else?  That last had earned Blake a standing ovation from the audience.

            He’d brought Adam along, of course, although Adam hadn’t come out on stage.  He’d been back stage, watching from the wings while Blake interviewed and smiled for the cameras.  Blake imagined he would have come out if Blake had asked him to.  But while the producers were willing to let Blake come out and talk about Kitty Miller’s racy past, Blake knew his people well enough to know that actually bringing a former L. A. stripper right out on stage was pushing it at this point.  That would come in time.  For now, Blake was able to steer the interview back towards his music and upcoming tour.  He was taking his music in a new direction, starting a new album.  By the time the interview was over, Blake felt that he’d stirred up a real interest in his new music.

            Adam had told him he did well, but admitted Blake wasn’t his usual self.  Blake, Adam informed him, had seemed a bit stilted, almost stiff on the stage.  That was a bit troublesome.  And now that Adam was distracted with the video game, Blake was in his own little world.

            “Blake?  Blake, I’m talking to you!”

            “Huh?”  Blake blinked and looked down to see that Adam had paused his game and was looking at Blake in concern.  “Sorry, buddy.  I just got a lot on my mind.”

            Adam cocked an eyebrow.  “And just how much of it has to do with Magic Mark?”

            “Some.  Most,” Blake corrected.  He sighed.  “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

            “Son of a bitch!”  Adam sat up and angrily tossed the controller onto the pillow.  “I’m going to kill Magic Mark!  Blake, listen, buddy.  You need to forget about all the stupid shit he said.  All that bullshit is just his way to get under your skin and keep you coming back!  As long as you believe you have to keep bringing me back so he can work his hocus pocus and ‘anchor’ me in my body?”  Adam made air quotes.  “That means you’ll keep giving him those donations that he keeps bringing up.  He’s a manipulative piece of shit, Blake!”

            “But what if he’s right?” Blake asked.  “That’s the part that scares me to death, Adam.  Because what he said, it makes sense, ok?  You’re a ghost, and the only thing that’s keeping you in that body is the ring on your finger!”

            “And I’m ok with that.”  Adam twisted the ring on his finger, watching as it caught the light.  “I can wear this ring for the rest of my life.  If that’s how I gotta live, then that’s what I’ll do.  You don’t have to worry about me popping off, ok?”

            “Just promise me you’ll be careful!”

            “I’ll be careful.  I promise.”

            “No, I mean it!”  Blake leaned forward, looking hard at Adam.  “Adam, you need to pay attention, and don’t take unnecessary risks!  Use your seat belt, wear a helmet…”

            “Alright, alright!  No more playing in traffic, and I’ll keep my flying leaps into wood chippers to a minimum.”  He rolled his eyes.  “Seriously, I cannot live my life in constant fear that someone’s going to jump out and scare me and I’ll fall out of my body, ok?  I’ll take reasonable precautions, sure.  But I can’t live in fear!  Besides, when you consider what I’ve already been through?  Honestly, if I was really that fragile, I would have popped out when John tried to rape me!”

            Blake’s heart skipped a beat.  “John!” he breathed.  “That son of a bitch.  He could have killed you!”

            “Well, he never gave me the impression that he’d kill me,” Adam said, looking uncomfortable.  “I mean, he put his hand on my throat once to try to quiet me, but that, and the fact he was trying to rape me, were pretty much the worst things he did to me.  It’s not like he held a gun to my head.”  He indicated himself.  “I’m in a tiny little girl’s body now.  He just overpowered me!  Pinned me down, you know?  I fought the bastard off and ran for help, and you know the rest.  If…”  Adam paused, frowning.  “Blake?  You ok, buddy?”

            Blake didn’t answer.  John had pinned Adam down.  Overpowered him.  Tried to rape him.  Suddenly, all Blake could think about was how easily he could have lost Adam.  It would have been so easy, when Adam was just in his body, for John to have broken his fragile link.  And then, when Blake had arrived…?

            The room suddenly didn’t have enough air.  Blake’s head spun.  Gasping, he stumbled to his feet and bolted for the downstairs bathroom, barely making it before he lost the contents of his stomach.  For a time, he remained as he was, on his hands and knees, clinging to the toilet as his vision swam and his heart pounded in his chest.  “He pinned you down, tried to rape you!” he moaned.  “Either one of those things could have knocked you out of your body.  I could have lost you right then, without ever knowing you were back!  And then I made you take off the ring, and you…  You…”  Blake dry heaved once more.  Then he collapsed onto the floor.

            “Blake!  _Blake!_   Look at me, please!”

            It was a strange woman, little more than a girl.  For some reason, she was in his bathroom.  She had Blake’s shoulders and was shaking him.  “Blake, you’re having a panic attack!  You gotta snap out of it, buddy.  It’s alright!  I’m right here!”

            She blurred, and then vanished as the world greyed out.  And then Blake was looking at a police officer, standing on his porch in the rain.  Water dripped from his hat and ran down his face, making it appear as if the somber officer had been crying.  And the words he’d just said made no sense.  A plane crash?  Adam, gone?  No, that couldn’t be true.  The dishes they’d used at supper a few hours earlier were still in the dishwasher.  Adam had just hugged him, said goodbye.  They already had plans to get together again.  Adam couldn’t be gone!

            Someone was clinging to him, shaking him, yelling his name over and over.  It was a woman’s voice, a stranger.  But it was Adam’s voice he was hearing.  Adam’s laughter at some joke Blake had made.  He’d been laughing as he’d gotten into the vehicle for his drive to the airport.  That couldn’t be the last time he’d ever see Adam again, ever hear him laugh!

            The police officer stood on his step.  “Mr. Shelton, I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”

            Adam couldn’t be gone.  He’d only just left!  Blake could still remember how his friend had felt in his arms as he’d hugged him, the way Adam smelled…

            That scent.  He’d know it anywhere.  It was Adam.  Adam was here.  He was _right here!_

            “Blake!  Blake, please, if you don’t snap out of it I’m calling a fucking ambulance!”

            “Adam?  Adam!”  Blake crushed the small figure against his chest, buried his face in the hair.  It was Adam, Adam’s scent was faint but it was there, buried beneath the smell of shampoo and stale cigarette smoke.  “Adam, they told me you were gone, that your plane crashed, that you were…”

            “Hey, I know, buddy, it’s ok!”  Adam squirmed a bit, twisted his body around, and settled against Blake’s chest.  “I’m right here, ok?  It’s me!  I’m Adam!  And I’m not going anywhere.”

            Blake’s body shook.

            “Hey, it’s ok, big guy.  I’m here.  You just had a panic attack.  Now I want you to breathe with me, alright?  Deep breath in, hold it for a moment.  Now slowly let it out.  Good.  Now again, deep breath in!”

            Blake breathed with Adam, and finally his racing heart slowed and his trembling stopped.  He leaned against the side of the tub, holding Adam close.  “Holy shit,” he groaned.  “I haven’t ever had a full-fledged panic attack in all my life until the day that police officer told me you were gone.  And I haven’t had one since until now!”

            Adam growled.  “Magic Mark is about to get his ass kicked by a five foot two woman!  Look at what that son of a bitch did to you!”

            Blake held tight to Adam as Adam tried to get up.  “Don’t!” he called.  “Forget Mark Donner for a moment, would you?  Just stay here with me.  I just need to hold you for a little longer, and I’ll be fine.”

            Adam relaxed back into Blake’s embrace.  “Alright.  Whatever you need, buddy.”

            Blake tightened his arms around Adam again and once more buried his face in his hair.  Shampoo, sweat, stale cigarettes, soap, deodorant, and the scent of the woman whose body his best friend now inhabited.  But no trace of Adam’s scent.  Blake frowned.  Had he imagined that?  Impulsively, he took Adam’s hand and sniffed at the diamond.

            “Um, dude?  Creepy as fuck.”

            “Sorry.”  Blake let Adam’s hand go and wrapped his arms around Adam again.  “It’s just, I thought I could smell you before.  You you, I mean.  Every so often, I catch it.”

            “Blake, I’m dead,” Adam pointed out.  “I smell like whatever that two-in-one shampoo is in my shower, soap, deodorant, and that stupid women’s shave gel I got.  You know, I still cannot figure out how women shave their legs in the shower?  I finally had to give up, sit on the toilet and throw my legs over the side of the tub.  And I still cut the everloving shit out of myself!  You should have seen the look the doctor was giving me when he did my internal at that clinic today.  There I was with my feet up in those damned stirrups, and my legs were covered with all these little pieces of toilet paper where I’d cut myself up trying to shave!  Between that and the fact that I called him a motherfucker and threw the bedside stand at him when he shoved that freezing cold speculum up me, I don’t think he could have gotten out of that room fast enough once he was done!  And it’s a damned good thing he ran, too, because he was about to get that fucking speculum right up his ass!  Then tell me about how I might feel a little pressure!  He shoved that stupid thing up halfway to east bejeebers!  I thought it was going to pop out of my belly button!  And it was freezing, dammit, couldn’t he at least have run it under some warm water or something before he shoved it into my snatch?  What a prick!”

            Blake blinked.  Then he burst out laughing.  He laughed until tears ran down his cheeks and he was hiccupping for air.

            Adam was scowling at him.  “Yeah yeah, keep laughing.  I cannot wait until you get a prostate exam.  I want to be there when the doc boldly goes where no man has gone before!”

            “At least I won’t have a cold vajaja.”

            “Suck my cock, Shelton!”

            Blake grinned.  “That’s a little difficult now, don’t you think?”

            “Then suck your own!”  Adam squirmed free and shoved at Blake.  “You done freaking out now, dickhead?  Good, get your ass off the floor, flush the toilet, and brush your teeth.  Your breath smells like puke.”

            “And you smell like an old ash tray!” Blake retorted.  “No more cigarettes!  What the hell did you start smoking again for?  You got a new body, quit tryin’ to die of lung cancer, you jackass!”

            “Alright, alright!” Adam exclaimed.  “I shouldn’t have started smoking again anyway, but I found a pack in the drawer in my room.  But I smoked the last one last night.  I won’t get anymore.”  His expression softened.  “Seriously, though, don’t worry about me, ok?  Not to bring up the subject that made you freak in the first place, but John seriously put me through my paces right at the start of all this, when I was at my most vulnerable.  And I came through it, ok, Blake?  I even came through taking off the ring for a week!  I may be a tiny little girl right now, but if I’m tough enough to go through that and come out the other side?  Then I think I can handle someone hurting my feelings or getting a bump on my head!  So stop worrying about me or thinking you’ve got to protect me like I know you’re doing!  I can take care of myself!  Alright?”

            Blake smiled.  “Alright, tough guy.  And Adam?  Thanks, buddy.”

            Adam offered his hand and helped Blake up.  “Don’t mention it.  Now finish up in here and come help me.  That fucking computer is cheating its ass off again!”

****

            Later that evening, Blake herded Adam into his studio.  “I got something I want to talk to you about,” he announced.

            “Oh?”  Adam’s emerald eyes had locked onto one of the two guitars that Blake had set out.  He quickly moved towards it and lovingly picked it up.  It was the guitar he’d always used any time he’d joined Blake in the studio.

            “You know I’m planning to start touring again this year,” Blake explained as he moved towards his own guitar.  He watched, pleased, as Adam adjusted the strap to size it for his new body and slipped it over his head.  “Jerry, my lead guitarist?  He won’t be with us.  So, I’ve got an opening in my band.  And you’re the best guitarist I know, and currently in need of a job.  I wondered if you might be interested?”

            “You want me to play guitar for you?”  Adam was busy tuning his instrument.  A pleased smile spread across his face.  “I’d love to!”

            “Good, because there’s more.”  Blake began tuning his own guitar, trying to act casual.  “You know, after you died, I kind of dropped out of everything.  They ended up cancelling ‘The Voice’ because I backed out of it, too, and the producers decided not to continue the show with both of us missing.  They thought it would affect ratings too much and decided to stop while they were ahead.”

            “That’s too bad.”  Adam was frowning now.  “I think the show had more going for it than just us!”

            “I agree, but the producers didn’t, and that’s why Carson’s got his own talk show now.  But at least he landed on his feet.”  Blake gently strummed a chord.  “But I digress.  This year, I’m going to start touring again, and I think it’s past time that I released a new album.  The whole damned world knows I completely fell apart when I lost you, Adam, and as you know, my music always reflects my life.”

            “True enough.”  Adam played a rapid series of notes, his fingers moving expertly along the frets.  He smiled in delight.  Apparently, he’d lost none of his skill with the instrument.  But then he winced and shook his hand.  “I’m going to have to get the callouses back on my fingertips,” he announced.  “Sorry.  You were saying?”

            “So, here’s what I was thinking.  Like I said in the interview, for this album and going forward, I want to take my music in a new direction.  All my life, I’ve been straight country.  But now I think I need to do something different.  Something that’s still country, but with a little bit of rock blended in, a little rockabilly!  Everyone’s going to say it’s in memory of you, and that’s fine with me because it will kind of be true.”

            And now Adam was staring at him, wide-eyed.  “You want to completely change your musical style?”

            “Sure, why not?  God knows I’ve gone through enough this past year to warrant a serious change!”

            “But Blake, do you have any idea how much work that’s going to take?”

            “Sure do,” Blake drawled.  “I was kind of hoping for a bit of help.  Maybe someone who’s already experienced in rock who can help bring a taste of that to country?  Someone who knows what’s involved in songwriting and album production, maybe even someone who started his own label and knows the business inside and out?”  He strummed another chord.  “You know anyone like that?”

            The reaction was everything Blake could have hoped for.  Adam’s eyes were shining.  He looked at Blake as if the big man hung the moon and stars.  “You want me to help you co-write your new album?  Blake, I would love that!”  Then he seemed to deflate.  “But I can’t.  There’s no way I could pull it off!”

            “And why not?”

            “I mean I can help you with everything, but I can’t take credit for co-writing the songs!  Who’s name am I gonna put on the label?  Adam Levine, or Kitty Miller?”

            “Or make up a pseudonym,” Blake suggested.  “I already thought about that, Adam.  You can put down any name you want, and I’ll make sure you get the credit.  That will help get you established as a songwriter.  Then you can come with me for the promotion tour as well.  God knows I could use the support.”

            “Boy, I’ll say!” Adam groaned.  “Do you have any idea how much work this is going to be?”

            “Yup.  And I could use all the help I can get!  What do you say, buddy?  You and me against the world?”

            Adam’s smile was like the sun coming out.  “I’m with you every step of the way, Big Country!”

            “Then let’s do this thing!”

            For the next three hours, the two played together and discussed plans.  During that time, Blake considered his biggest accomplishment to be the simple fact that he’d kept the pleased smirk off of his face.

            _Worked like a charm!  Shelton, you are a genius!_

            Adam, he knew, needed protection.  Until he was firmly anchored in his new body, Adam was in terrible danger.  And he seemed all but oblivious to it.  Even though he’d promised to be careful and seemed to be adjusting well to his new body, it didn’t seem to Blake as though Adam honestly realized just how _small_ he was now.  How fragile and delicate.  Adam’s nature was working against him.  In all his years, Blake had never met anyone as stubborn and willful as Adam Levine.  He was a control freak with a vicious competitive streak, a fiery, destructive temper, and a mouth that had gotten him into trouble more times than Blake could count.  Given the chance, Blake had little doubt that Adam really would start a fight with Magic Mark.  Because that was who Adam was.  Adam needed protection, but the biggest threat to Adam was Adam himself.

            But what could Blake do?  He couldn’t literally wrap Adam in bubble wrap or put him into a bubble to protect him.  He couldn’t force his friend to wear Kevlar armor or a padded suit.  Adam would never accept a bodyguard.  Blake had even given some thought to having Adam committed, just so someone would be watching him all the time.  But even if he could bring himself to betray his friend like that, if Adam felt trapped and miserable, he could lose his link to the mortal body he was in.  No, Adam needed to be happy, and he could never be happy if he was locked up.

            There was only one solution.  Adam needed someone to watch over him.  Someone who would fight off all comers to protect Adam.  Someone he could trust.  Someone who he already enjoyed spending time with.  Someone who understood Adam and the things he liked, and was willing to provide them.  Someone who would put his own life on hold in order to watch over Adam, to give Adam time to become stronger so that he was no longer in danger of being knocked out of his body.

            Blake knew of exactly one person who fit all of those qualifications – Blake Tollison Shelton.

            But he had to be careful.  He could imagine himself dressed up like Rambo with a bandana around his head, a machine gun in one hand and a machete in the other, ready to do major damage to anyone who so much as brushed up against Adam.  But the reality was that Adam would balk at the very idea of having any sort of bodyguard, even if it was Blake.  And that was the problem.  Blake had seen too many times what happened whenever someone tried to control Adam.  Every time, Adam had rebelled, thrown the other person off completely, and done something in impulsive anger that was usually the polar opposite of what the other person was trying to accomplish.  Adam had done exactly that to Blake himself on at least two memorable occasions.  And Adam would hit the roof if he knew Blake intended to play bodyguard to him.  If he ever realized what Blake was really up to, the first thing the impossible little shit would do would be to run off.  Blake had already seen how well that worked out.  The last time Adam ran away, he’d ended up almost getting dragged off by Kitty’s asshole ex-boyfriend!  No, Adam couldn’t know Blake’s true intentions.

            So how could he do it?  How could he watch over Adam constantly, or at least know exactly where he was at all times, without Adam feeling controlled and taking off?

            And then, in a flash of inspiration, Blake got a great idea.

            He’d hated to let the guitarist who’d been with him for three years go.  But while Adam could play several instruments, he excelled at the guitar.  Plus, he’d be much easier for Blake to interact with up on stage if he played lead guitar.  Blake could make a fuss over Adam, get him some attention to keep him interested on the tour.  And meanwhile, the two of them would be working together on Blake’s new album.  That would require writing, arranging, recording, mixing, and producing all the songs for the new album.  After that would be scripting, casting, filming, and distributing the new videos.  Then came promotions, with a flurry of interviews and performances to promote the new album before the start of yet another tour.  And while his upcoming tour was already largely planned out, the new one would come with its own mountain of work.

            Adam was a control freak who liked to have his fingers in every pie.  Given the chance, he would follow the entire project through personally from start to finish.  And Blake had every intention of giving him that chance.  He’d draw on Adam’s experience as much as he could, defer to him, and give him the lion’s share of responsibility.  Together, they’d see it through.  And Adam would thrive under the pressure, just as he always had.  He’d be deep in the music industry again, both behind the scenes and up on stage.  It was the closest Blake could give him to what he used to have.  And it would be a daunting task that would consume every spare moment they had.

            It would take months, probably at least a year.  And as partners in the project, they’d practically have to be joined at the hip.

            Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun groaned and said, "Oh boy." Says it was well thought out, a good plan. Right up to the point where Adam figures out what’s going on. And then it’s all going to go to shit and he's going to laugh at Blake.


	15. Country Gal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam's trying hard to be a good lil' country gal, but Blake's not sure he likes the change

            Just as Blake predicted, his control freak of a best friend largely took over the process of putting the new album together.  One he and Blake had the song, it was Adam that went to work on arranging it, usually playing the different instruments himself until he had the sound that the two of them were looking for.  He was always right in the middle of everything, even arguing with Blake, which greatly upset Blake’s recording team.  Blake had to gently but firmly explain that “Miss Miller is a vital part of this project, and her word carries the same weight as mine” before Adam could get much accomplished.  That seemed to bother Adam a great deal.

            “Blake, why the hell didn’t you tell them you were bringing me on as co-writer?” Adam wanted to know after the first disastrous recording session.

            “Sorry, it must have slipped my mind,” Blake sighed.  “I get that you’re used to being in charge, but these guys are only used to me.  They don’t have any idea who you are remember?  And worse they think you’re…  Well…”

            “Yeah, they think I’m just an ex-stripper from L. A. who’s only in your studio because I’m in your bed,” Adam said dejectedly.  “Sorry.  I guess I should have backed off, let you take the lead, huh?”

            Blake couldn’t bear to see him so upset.  “Hey,” he called, pulling Adam into a hug.  “They’ll get used to you.  It’s just, right now, they see this tiny woman stepping on my toes and they’re just looking out for my interests.  Once they see how well we work together, they’ll come around.  You’ll see!”

            Adam hadn’t replied.  He’d just smiled, patted Blake’s arm, and then squirmed free.

            Blake wasn’t sure what to think.  He believed what he’d told Adam.  He knew he had a good crew and they’d eventually come to understand Adam and respect him.  But since the day he’d met Adam, the guy had always been a bit of a diva.  His “my way or the highway” attitude had caused a lot of people he’d worked with to walk out.  Blake dreaded the idea of losing any of his crew, many of whom he’d worked with since he’d started his career.  But Adam had to come first.  That was proving to be a problem.  Blake found himself pulled aside multiple times as his crew, his agent, and his friends spoke with him about the arrogant, bossy L. A. prima donna who’d waltzed into Blake’s life and started ordering them around like she’d been crowned queen.  It had been all Blake could do to keep the peace.

            But then Adam started to change.  He’d asked Blake to take him shopping, where Adam had spent hours trying on and purchasing new clothes and even a couple pairs of cowboy boots.  He’d traded in his silver stud earring for simple gold hoops.  Now the Lifegem was the flashiest thing Adam wore.  Adam had even toned down his cocky attitude, making his walk slower and more feminine.  When he spoke, his tone was considerably softer and more respectful.  He’d even learned to sit more like a lady, lowering himself into his chair and crossing his legs at the ankle instead of just dropping himself down like he always had.  And the change was noticeable at work, too.  Where Adam used to storm into the studio and start issuing orders, now he was bringing in coffee and donuts, smiling and making small talk with the crew.  Where he once went to interviews and promotional events with Blake and immediately started dictating to everyone around them, now he seemed demure, reserved, and almost shy.  Blake’s agent, who had referred to Adam as “Miss Thing,” now seemed charmed.  The crew smiled, spoke politely, and called Adam “ma’am.”  Blake’s friends started encouraging him to “bring the little lady” where before they’d politely asked if Blake wouldn’t mind leaving her behind.  It was a complete turn-around.  Adam was actively changing, moving from a brazen L. A. city girl to a sweet, charming country gal.  And Blake knew exactly who to look to for the source of these changes – Emma.

            Emma spent a lot of time with Adam, which Adam seemed to appreciate.  And clearly, she was giving him a lot of advice that Adam was taking to heart.  Blake’s sister was apparently making good on her offer of helping Adam learn to adjust to life with Blake in the country.  Adam was now running around in cowboy boots and flannels, looking like a miniature feminine version of Blake.  In fact, he looked just like every other woman in Blake’s life.  He knew Adam desperately wanted people to think of him as something other than a stripper from the west coast.  He’d mentioned that he was worried about what being connected to Kitty’s past was doing for Blake’s reputation.  Now Adam was trying to change, to show people there was more to him than the bullshit they’d printed about him in the papers.  And it seemed to be working.  Everyone seemed pleased with his progress.

            Everyone that was, except Blake.

            Blake did not feel that it was an improvement.  He thought Adam should be wearing the clothes he always wore and acting the way he always had.  It didn’t matter that Adam’s prima donna attitude used to drive Blake nuts.  Blake wanted him to stay the same.  But he’d smiled and put up with it, hoping Adam didn’t realize how much he hated it.  When Adam started heading into the kitchen, trying to learn how to cook, usually with mixed to poor results, Blake tried to be encouraging.  But Adam didn’t cook and he shouldn’t be trying.  Maybe Blake had been a little too eager for Adam to give up on it, especially the night that the pizza Blake had ordered arrived just as Adam had finally beaten all odds, managed to make a semi-presentable casserole and was bringing it to the table.  That had resulted in one casserole thrown out the back door into the yard, pan and all, and Adam locking himself in his room for hours, refusing to speak or come out.  But at least Adam had stopped trying to cook.

            But then Emma had started teaching Adam to ride a horse, disaster predictably struck, and Blake screamed at his sister until she ran out in tears.  He couldn’t bring himself to feel bad.  Why Adam had insisted on doing something so dangerous as horseback riding was beyond Blake.  At Blake’s insistence, he’d always worn a riding helmet, but even then, the risk he was taking had made Blake feel ill.  He’d known trying to teach someone who’d never sat a mount to ride was a bad idea.  And two days into his lessons, Emma had been stupid enough to let Adam try to ride Widowmaker, the most jittery and skittish horse Blake owned.  Adam had been thrown almost immediately.  He spent a couple days with his ankle elevated and wrapped, and Blake had hit the roof.  Ma gave Blake the silent treatment after his fight with Emma.  Blake didn’t care.  He couldn’t believe how close he’d come to losing Adam again.  Every horrible possibility swam through his head.  He barely slept, didn’t eat, and refused to leave Adam’s side.  For two days, Blake locked himself in the house with Adam and refused to answer his phone.  There, he’d babied and fussed over Adam, even insisting on carrying his friend from place to place until Adam finally hit him with a pillow and told him to get a hobby.

            And then there was his brother Clyde.  It was no secret that Blake’s oldest sibling had a reputation.  Blake knew he had his sights set on Adam, despite believing that he was dating Blake.  That was unusual, and it bothered Blake more than a little.  When Blake was around, Clyde was polite and respectful.  But his brother’s eyes followed Adam constantly, roving over Adam’s body when Adam wasn’t looking.  Blake had cleared his throat loudly the first couple of times it happened.  Clyde had immediately stopped, smiling and joking as if nothing had happened.  But he stood too close to Adam.  He was constantly touching him.  First he’d brush against him or put a hand on Adam’s arm or shoulder.  Then he progressed to putting his arm around Adam’s shoulders, and once even pulling his friend into his lap.  Every time, if Blake reacted or Adam protested, Clyde would laugh it off as a joke.  Blake had words with him after the lap incident.  Once again, Clyde had laughed and suggested they both “loosen up.”  Blake hoped Clyde had gotten the message.  But then he discovered that his older brother had come over early in the morning, right when Adam was doing his morning yoga exercises.  Adam hadn’t been aware that the other man was there.  He’d been working through poses out on the porch in the cool morning air when Blake had spotted movement out of the corner of his eye.  There was Clyde.  His brother must have parked some distance away from the house because Blake hadn’t heard his jeep.  But now Clyde was standing just behind the fence, watching Adam as he bent and stretched on the porch.  Blake had casually stepped out onto the porch and had deliberately moved into Clyde’s line of sight.  Then he’d turned and stared hard at his brother.  Clyde got the message and backed off, leaving Adam none the wiser.  Hopefully, the point had been made.

            Of course Adam had noticed the tension.  But he’d never stopped smiling, never raised his voice, never even blamed Emma despite Blake loudly telling his sister exactly how he felt about Adam’s accident.  Adam was trying hard to be someone his family could relate to and accept.  Blake saw it and appreciated it.  But at the same time, it was _wrong._   Adam was Adam.  He was a city boy, a rocker from L. A. who had always done his own thing.  Adam belonged in skinny jeans, t-shirts, and motorcycle boots.  He belonged on a stage with a guitar in his hands.  But even when Adam was acting the way he should, he couldn’t be what he was.  The reminder of that hurt.  The one time Blake had heard Adam singing softly to himself, his voice was so not like his own that Blake had actually started talking loudly to him just to get him to stop.  He would never be able to sing like he once did and shouldn’t try.  But Adam still had his familiar skill with the guitar.  Blake was his biggest fan, writing extra guitar solos into several songs to give his friend a chance to shine. 

            Meanwhile, Blake was scouring the market, trying to find a motorcycle small enough for Adam to handle in his current form, yet mean enough to fit Adam.  Even though the idea of Adam on a motorcycle terrified Blake, the idea of Adam on a horse terrified him more.  The one time he’d caught Adam heading out to the stables yet again with Emma, he’d loudly inquired just what they were doing, sent Emma away, and pushed Adam back into the studio.  There, he’d put a guitar into his friend’s hands and the two had spent the rest of the afternoon rehearsing some songs for Blake’s upcoming tour.  That was better.  It was like old times, just the two of them, practicing music together.  But Adam had seemed uncomfortable even then.  Beneath his smile, Adam seemed strained, tense.  Blake felt as if Adam were a taunt wire, stretched nearly to the breaking point that would snap at any minute.  But really, that was no surprise.  Except for Blake, Adam was surrounded by people all trying to make him into something he wasn’t.  That would be enough to fray anyone’s nerves.

            Things came to a head one Saturday when Clyde showed up unannounced at their door.

            His brother had arrived to take them out, insisting that he had a surprise for Blake and his “L. A. doll,” as he typically referred to Adam.  Blake had tried to make some excuse, but Adam wanted to go out.

            “I’m tired of being cooped up all the time!” Adam argued.  “We’ve been busting our asses on the album and we both need a break.  Why can’t we go out?”

            In the end, Blake couldn’t find a reason to say no.  But something about the way Clyde was smiling at Adam made Blake uneasy.  “Where we going?” he asked.

            “If I told you that, it wouldn’t be a surprise!” Clyde exclaimed.  “Just get in the damned jeep, Blakey!”

            Blake didn’t like it, but Adam scurried right in.  Blake climbed in after him, and Clyde started off.

            Blake sat in the back of Clyde’s jeep with his arm around his friend and stayed quiet during the drive.  Adam, meanwhile, was chatting away.  Maybe he had been cooped up for too long?  At any rate, Adam wasn’t worried about whatever Clyde had in store.  He seemed happy, and that made Blake happy as well.  Maybe this would work out after all.

            Tony’s Tonk was packed, and almost entirely with men.  They let out a cheer when Blake entered with Adam, complete with lots of wolf whistling and open leering.  Blake frowned.  The papers, of course, had long ago caught wind of Blake’s “relationship.”  As the most famous person in this part of the state, Blake knew his personal life was no secret.  And once he’d been seen out and about with Kitty, he hadn’t had to lift a finger for word to spread like wildfire that he was living up in his ranch with a cute little L. A. blonde that once worked as a stripper.  But the townspeople knew Blake.  They’d been respectful, even when they were still looking at Adam like he might potentially turn rabid.  And even though Adam had drawn more than his share of admiring looks and the occasional leer, no one had ever been so brazen as they were right now.  Right away, alarm bells started ringing for Blake.  While the tonk’s patrons were typically male, he’d never seen this many men packed into it at one time. 

            The “Live Entertainment Tonight!” sign outside had been lit up when they’d arrived, and a microphone and speakers had been set out on the big stage.  But Blake saw no signs of instruments or stands that he’d expect from a band.  Whoever was entertaining tonight was apparently a solo act using canned music.  The stage, however, wasn’t the center of attention.  Adam was.  Every eye was on Adam, watching every step he took.  Blake felt his hackles rise.  He tightened his grip around Adam’s shoulders, but Adam wasn’t paying attention.  His eyes were locked on the wall next to the stage.

            When Adam had been voted “Sexiest Man Alive,” as a joke he’d had the magazine cover blown up and sent to Blake’s house.  Blake had later given it to Tony, who was a big fan of Adam’s.  Now the giant magazine cover hung prominently on the wall to the left of the stage.  The cocky rockstar peered out, life size, his familiar hazel eyes seeming to challenge everyone in the room.  The only change was the addition of a black ribbon tied in a bow around one corner.  A black silk rose hung from the ribbon, just as it had for a year since Adam’s fatal plane crash.

            Adam pulled free and made his way through the crowd, oblivious of the interest of the patrons.  He stopped in front of the cover, peering up at the face that had once looked back at him from the mirror.  Blake followed closely, stopping just behind his friend.  He slipped his arms around Adam’s neck, resting them on his shoulders, and waited, letting his friend take in the unexpected sight.  But Adam simply stared.

            After a moment, Blake bent down to speak softly into his ear.  “I can’t imagine what you must be thinking.  If I’d have known Clyde was bringing us here, I would have warned you.”

            “It’s ok,” Adam murmured back.  His eyes were still locked with the man in the picture.  “Sooner or later, I was going to end up facing something like this.”  He reached up to Blake’s hand and laced his fingers through Blake’s.  “It’s strange.  It’s me, but it’s not me anymore.  It’s like looking at a stranger.  But I used to _be_ him, Blake!”

            “You still are.  Adam, look at me, ok?”  When the green eyes refused to meet his, Blake gently took Adam’s chin and turned his face until Adam finally looked up at him.  Then he indicated the picture.  “This here, this guy on the wall?  That’s you.  That’s how I will always see you, Adam, and I do not give a shit about what everyone else in the world sees!”

            Blake had meant to comfort his friend, but the green eyes were suddenly filled with pain.  “Blake, that isn’t me anymore!  I’m not the same person, alright?  After what happened to me, I can’t be the Sexiest Man Alive anymore because no part of that is true.  You’re the only one who knows who I really am, but even you don’t see me!”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I mean it shouldn’t matter what body I’m in.  People always say it’s who you are on the inside that counts, but that’s not true.  Every day, we judge people based on what we see.  That’s why the whole world is always going to see me as this woman I am now.  That, I can live with.  I can go forward and be myself with everyone else.  But Blake, I cannot do that with you!”

            Blake blinked.  “Wait, you’re upset because I know who you are?”

            Adam leaned back against Blake and clutched at Blake’s arms.  “It’s like you’re blind, Blake.  I think, at first, it was hard for you to remember who I really was because of what I looked like.  But now, the opposite is true!  You’re so locked into my memory that when you look at me, all you see is this guy on the wall!”

            “But that’s who you are!”

            “Yes, but that’s just one part of me now.  Blake, I can live with people judging me based on what they see, because eventually they’ll get to know me.  But you?  You’re trapped in the past!  It’s like that room in your house.  You kept it just the way I’d left it because you never stopped waiting for me to come back.  And you’ve waited so long for me that you can’t see that I’m right here!”

            Blake pulled Adam close, as though giving him a lover’s embrace.  It should fool anyone who was watching too closely, but he was troubled.  “I don’t understand.  I know you’re here, buddy!  And I’m grateful.  It’s a damned miracle you’re back, one I thank God for every day.  Why the hell do you keep saying that I can’t see you?”

            “Because you can’t move on, Blake.  You can’t let go of the Sexiest Man Alive and see me, even though I’m right here!”  He sighed and shook his head.  “You know what, just forget it.  I know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling right now, but I can’t get it into words.”

            “Alright.”  Blake guided Adam towards an empty chair and signaled for drinks.  “How about we just relax instead?  We got a good view of the stage from here.”

            “I just hope it’s not some damned country act,” Adam grumbled.  “All their music is the same.  Play it backwards, and you get your girl back, your truck back, your dog back, you get out of jail, and you’re sober!”

            “Funny.”

            Adam grinned and waggled his eyebrows at Blake over his beer.  Blake rolled his eyes.

            Clyde was up at the bar, speaking with Tony.  Tony was a good guy and a good friend to Blake.  But even he was eyeing Adam up from behind the bar.  Granted, Adam was looking quite attractive.  He was wearing a white shirt and jeans that displayed his hourglass figure, and the cowboy boots only emphasized his long legs.  But somehow, Blake thought there was something more going on here than he knew.  Adam was just drawing way too much attention when all he was doing was sitting quietly at a table drinking with Blake.

            Blake watched Tony.  He laughed at something Clyde said, his eyes still on Adam.  Then he clapped Clyde on the shoulder and nodded.  Clyde grabbed a beer and ambled over to Blake’s table.  “So, Miss Kitty, the L. A. doll!” he called, smiling at Adam in a way that immediately made Blake want to punch him.

            “Hello,” Adam mumbled.  His smile vanished, and now he was frowning at his beer.

            Clyde pulled out one of the chairs, turned it around, and straddled it, facing the back so he could lean on it.  “I couldn’t help but notice you checking out Tony’s prize up on the wall there.  Good ol’ Adam Levine!”  He raised his bottle in a salute towards the cover.  “He was a good friend of mine.”

            “No he wasn’t!” Blake and Adam said at the same time.

            Blake kicked Adam under the table and glowered at his brother.  “Clyde, that’s bullshit and you know it,” he declared.  “Adam spent most of the time he was with you trying to resist punching you in the face!”

            “A sentiment I understand completely,” Clyde said, surprising them both.  “I was kind of an ass to the guy.  But he was so darned…  I don’t know.  Pretty?”

            “Pretty?!” Adam sputtered.

            “Oh, nothing like you, darlin’ girl!” Clyde declared.  “But it’s hard to remember what you look like when Blake keeps you cooped up all the time in that damned studio of his.”

            “She’s helping a lot on my new album, Clyde,” Blake explained patiently.  “You don’t seem to understand how much work goes into that.”

            “I get it!” Clyde retorted.  “But the thing is, no one really gets to see your little Kitty Cat!  So, tonight that changes.  Tonight, you’re sharing her with the whole town!”

            Blake stiffened.  “What the hell are you saying, Clyde?”

            “Welcome, one and all!”  Tony’s voice rang through the bar.  The owner was up on the stage, speaking into a microphone.  “We’ve got a very special guest for our entertainment, folks!  Coming out to our little place in the world from clear out in the big city on the west coast, tonight only, Tony’s Tonk presents MISS KITTY MILLER!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun thinks Clyde is going to get Adam up on the stage to dance. Sighed deeply. Said, “I knew that was coming.” Called Clyde a dirty, dirty dick, and not just because he doesn’t wash the thing.


	16. Sunday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is ready to face Clyde's challenge, but Blake just wants to take him home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It always amazes and humbles me when readers share personal stories and tell me that my stories have affected them on a personal level. Had one on Tumblr tell me they recently lost the Blake to their Adam and that they used to read my stories together. I never imagined that the silly stories I wrote for the hell of it could ever end up someone's meaningful memory. I'm touched beyond belief. Thank you so much for sharing, and I promise, this story WILL have a happy ending!
> 
> Diegetic song here, obviously, is "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRELxKLERAk

            Blake had his brother by the collar before Tony’s microphone got done buzzing.  “You son of a bitch!” he growled, clenching his fist.  “If you think for one minute she’s going to strip for you and your perverted friends…?”

            “Whoa, hold your horses!” Clyde called, unconcerned.  “I knew you’d jump to conclusions, asshole, that’s why I didn’t tell ya!  C’mere, brother, and let’s talk about this.  Meanwhile, your L. A. doll there really doesn’t seem upset, does she?”

            “I’m waiting for someone to ask me to do any sort of entertaining tonight,” Adam declared.  “Until I’m asked, and I agree, I’m not doing shit.”

            “And that’s what’s happening now.”  Clyde jerked a thumb towards Tony, who was motioning Adam towards the stage.  “Go up there and talk to Tony.  Meanwhile, I’ll take my hothead brother here and explain what’s really going on.”

            Blake looked anxiously after Adam.  Adam narrowed his eyes at Clyde, and then looked to Tony, who was still gesturing for him to come forward.  Then he took another sip from his bottle, got up, and started towards the stage to the cheers of the crowd.

            “This is something I thought of to help you both,” Clyde explained to Blake once Adam was away.  “Now, it’s pretty obvious that this girl’s got you howling at the moon, Blakey.  Hell, I can’t blame ya!  Kitty’s the hottest piece of tail that’s passed through this town in years!”

            “Yeah, I noticed you noticing,” Blake said drily.  “Clyde, the next time I catch you spying on her, I swear I’ll curb stomp your sorry ass!”

            “You’ll try, little brother, you’ll try,” Clyde grumbled.  “But hey, that’s gratitude for you.  Because the thing is, Kitty Cat’s hotter than Hades on the Fourth of July, but she’s also crazier than a shithouse rat!  And that’s where your big brother Clyde comes in.”  He jerked his head towards the magazine cover.  “I saw her make a beeline for Levine’s picture over there.  What did she have to say about it?”

            “That’s not your business,” Blake growled.  “Kitty’s fine.  She was just confused at the start, alright?  She had a head injury!”

            “Well, see, that’s what this is all about.”  Clyde glanced towards the stage, where Adam was deep in conversation with Tony, their backs to the audience.  “Tony’s asking her to sing.”

            Blake blinked in surprise.  “Sing?  Sing what?”

            “One of Levine’s songs,” Clyde explained, grinning.  “We’re going to help her remember that she’s not really him, and then help her figure out who she really is.”

            Blake felt cold.  “That’s horseshit!  She knows who she is, alright?  Asking her to sing one of Adam’s songs is just wrong!”

            “Calm down, baby brother,” Clyde advised.  “If she really does know who she is, then she’s got nothing to worry about and neither do you.  Now, there’s several steps to this plan.  Step one was seeing Levine’s picture on the wall there.  This is step two.”

            “Clyde, I don’t like this!” Blake warned, his eyes on Adam.  Adam still had his back to them, talking with Tony.  “Kitty had a real tough time at first, but she’s been doing real well, alright?”  He shook his head and got to his feet.  “You know what, forget it.  I honestly think it’s time we went home.”

            “Why?” Clyde challenged, grabbing Blake’s arm.  “If she’s really doing so well, why not let her sing?  She’s a big fan of Levine’s, right?  That means she probably knows all his songs!”

            _Only too well,_ Blake thought.  He pulled his arm away from his brother.  “Look, thanks for your misguided attempt to help her, but I can handle this.  She’s doing well.  She apologized tonight for being confused, even though she didn’t have to, alright?  That’s what the conversation was at the picture.”

            Blake was amazed at how easily the lie came to his lips.  But looking at his brother, he didn’t know that Clyde believed it.  “You know, this is as much for you as it is for her,” Clyde said.

            Blake frowned.  “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

            “It means it looks like she’s gonna do it,” Clyde reported, indicating the stage.  “Unless she’s up there adjusting that microphone for someone else the exact same height she is?”

            Blake whirled around, wide-eyed.  Sure enough, Adam was adjusting the microphone for his diminutive height.  Blake’s heart skipped a beat.  _He won’t sound anything like himself!_ he thought frantically.  _And he’s going to sing one of his own songs?  That’s gonna tear the heart right out of him!  That much of a shock could jar him loose, knock him back into his diamond!  I can’t let that happen!  But what do I do?_

            Blake jumped up and hurried to the stage, where he beckoned Adam closer.  “You don’t have to do this,” he whispered when Adam approached and hunkered down to hear him.

            “I know,” Adam whispered back.  “But I want to.  This isn’t any different than that damned magazine cover, Blake!  Sooner or later, I gotta face it.  Now’s as good a time as any!”

            “No, it isn’t!” Blake hissed.  “Just come on down, Adam, and I’ll take you home.  Clyde’s just being an asshole, trying to remind you you’re not Adam Levine.  Fuck him.  You don’t have to sing at all, much less your old songs.  You can go your whole damned life without ever having to sing again!”

            “Could you?” Adam challenged.  The emerald eyes were suddenly dark.  “I want to sing, Blake!”

            “Not like this!” Blake pleaded.  “Not one of your own songs, and certainly not right up on stage in front of a room full of strangers!”

            And now the green eyes were narrowing suspiciously.  “I’ve been singing to rooms full of strangers for my entire adult life!  Blake, what’s really going on?”

            “Dammit, Adam, it’s different now!  Just come down and let me take you home, alright?”  When Adam still hesitated, Blake grabbed his arm, pulling him closer to whisper into his friend’s ear.  “Adam, please, don’t do this!  It’s different!  _You’re_ different!”

            “Don’t you think I know that?”  Adam jerked his arm away.  “Thank you for your concern, but it’s my choice, and I choose to sing.  If you don’t like it, then wait outside!”  And with that, he turned and moved back to the microphone, where he gave a thumbs up to Tony.

            Blake cursed his stupidity.  Adam, no matter what body he was in, was still Adam.  And the way he was acting now was so classic _Adam_ that Blake wanted to scream.  But there was nothing else that Blake could do.  He stayed where he was, clutching the stage as Adam picked up the microphone.

            Adam faced the crowd with his head held high as the lights dimmed and the crowd grew silent.  A familiar melody began to play.  Adam took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  His body moved slightly to the music.  And then he began to sing.

            _“Sunday morning, rain is falling.  Steal some covers, share some skin!  Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable you twist to fit the mold that I am in.”_

            Just as Blake feared, Adam’s voice was nothing at all like his own.  His – Kitty’s – singing voice was much like Kitty’s speaking voice.  It was a rich contralto that completely lacked any trace of Adam’s high sweet tenor.  Blake’s stomach twisted itself into knots.

            But incredibly, Adam never faltered.  He kept singing without a hitch.

            _“But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do!  And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew that someday it would lead me back to you, that someday it would lead me back to you!  That may be all I need.  In darkness, he is all I see.  Come and rest your bones with me!  Driving slow on Sunday morning, and I never want to leave!”_

            To Blake’s surprise, the crowd was getting into the performance.  As Adam finished up the chorus, people were joining Blake at the stage.  And they were smiling, moving to the music.  “Sunday Morning” had a smooth jazz sound to it, and Blake realized to his surprise that Kitty’s voice was actually quite suited for it.  It wasn’t Adam’s voice.  But it was still Adam singing.  And Adam must have been practicing.  He knew exactly how to slide into the notes, how to bounce his voice through the clipped phrasing in the verses only to return to the extended notes of the chorus.  The contralto was actually surprisingly good.  It fit the song well.  And Adam was including just the right amount of vibrato, just enough flourishes, that he wasn’t simply doing the same thing in a new voice.  He’d taken the song he’d written and was once again making it his own.

            Blake realized with a start that, had he heard Kitty on the Voice, he would have turned his chair for her.  But he didn’t have to, did he?  Kitty already had a master for a vocal coach.

            He looked up, and saw Adam looking back at him.  The green eyes were shining, showing the sheer joy that Adam had always shown in performing.  Everyone in the room was focused on him as he stood on the stage, effortlessly running through a series of flourishes.  _He can do a lot more with that voice,_ Blake realized.  _He’s got enough talent to sing!  He really does!  And you’ve been wasting him, Shelton.  Adam was born to sing, not just play!_   Well, that was easily fixed, wasn’t it?  The next time they were in the studio, Blake was going to have him do a bit of back-up.  He’d get Adam established as a vocalist, get him some experience he could put on a resume.  He’d be established as a songwriter, musician, and vocalist.  Then, when he was strong enough to deal with any possible rejection, Blake could set him up with some producers.  Adam could never be part of Maroon 5 again.  But maybe he could start something new?  He could be a star again!

            It could work.  It really could.

            When Adam finished, Blake cheered louder than anyone else in the bar.  Adam’s smile lit up the room.  He bowed, laughing as he replaced the mic.  Then he made a beeline for Blake.

            Blake caught him around his waist and lifted him off the stage.  He’d been right.  Blake could almost fit his hands around that tiny waist, and Adam barely weighed anything.  Setting Adam on his feet, Blake pulled him into a tight embrace.  “Amazing!” he exclaimed.  “You’re amazing!”

            “Hey, you know it!”

            “And modest!” Blake laughed.  He kissed the top of Adam’s head.  “You really killed it up there.  You were practicing, weren’t you?”

            Adam chuckled.  “I knew it bothered you when I sang, so I made sure you weren’t around.  But yeah.  I needed to get used to what I could do, so I’ve been kind of coaching myself.  I even wrote a few songs in my new range.  I don’t have the high end I’m used to, but I’ve got a lot of power I never had before.  It’s something I was kind of hoping you could help me with?”

            Blake’s eyebrows shot up.  “Me help you?”

            “Well, yeah!  I mean, you’ve got the power in your voice, that big country sound of yours.  You always overpowered me when we sang together…”

            Blake winced.  “Sorry.”

            “Don’t worry about it.  You should have been there when I did ‘Moves Like Jagger’ with Christina!  We had to turn her mic way down and mine way up any time we did a live performance or you couldn’t hear me at all.  It’s just how our voices are.  But you do have the power I didn’t, so, you know, if you’re willing?”

            “Sure!”  Blake hugged Adam again.

            Clyde suddenly appeared next to them.  “Nice job, Kitty,” he said.

            “Thank you!”

            “Yes, thank you, Clyde,” Blake said humbly.  He lowered his voice and stepped away from Adam.  “How’d you know she could sing?” he asked.  “I didn’t even know that!”

            “I didn’t, either,” Clyde confessed.  “But the next act I know she can do!”

            Blake’s smile vanished.  “Next act?”  He turned to Adam.  “There’s another act?”

            “Yeaaaaah,” Adam said.  “There’s two parts to this tonight, apparently, but I haven’t decided if I’m doing the second part.”

            “Aw, now, don’t be shy!” Clyde encouraged.  “That’s who you really are, and you’re not ashamed of who you are, right?  Besides, it’s not like you’re taking your clothes off!”

            “Still, I mean, considering what the papers said, I just don’t know if it’s such a good idea,” Adam grumbled.  He suddenly looked uncomfortable.

            Clyde smiled, and it wasn’t pleasant.  “What’s the matter, Miss Kitty?  You ashamed after all?”

            Adam bristled.  “No way!  I have nothing to be ashamed of!”

            Clyde jerked a thumb at the stage.  “Fine.  Prove it.”

            “I’m not going to let you goad me into this, Clyde!”

            Blake looked from one to the other.  “What’s going on?”

            “I’m not just supposed to sing tonight,” Adam explained.  He indicated the stage, where Tony had removed the microphone and stand.  “They want me to dance, too.”

            “Dance?!”  He whirled on Clyde.  “Clyde, what the hell?  Bad enough you dragged her up on stage at all!  What’s the point of making her dance?”

            “Come over here and we’ll talk,” Clyde offered.

            “Whatever you’ve got to say, I’d like to hear it too,” Adam insisted.  “I know you two were just talking about me, so spill it.  Why do you want me to dance?  And why’d you make me sing?  Come to think of it, how did you even know if I could?”

            “Answer her, Clyde,” Blake ordered.

            “Alright, you want to talk about it here in front of everyone?” Clyde announced loudly, indicating the bar patrons who were still gathered near the stage.  “Fine!  Blake, your girl’s got issues that you are just not facing!  She walked away from that car crash believing she was Adam Levine, so I had her sing one of Levine’s songs to prove to herself that she ain’t him.  Now, she did a hell of a job, and you’re swearing up and down that she’s better.  Fine.  If you say she is, I’ll believe it.  But there’s one more issue you’re not facing, little brother!  Your girl is a stripper!”

            A mutter of disapproval began to rise from the other patrons.  Blake clenched his fists.  “Whatever she did before, she isn’t a stripper now,” he managed.  “And I’ll thank you not to bring it up!”

            “And that right there is the problem!” Clyde declared.  “You’re ignoring what she is, ignoring what it’s been doing to your reputation, and pretending she’s just another sweet little country gal.  You’re not facing reality any more than she did when she thought she was Adam Levine!  So tonight is the night to put both of those questions to rest!  She sang Levine’s song without thinking she was him, great.  Now let’s deal with the stripper issue.  If she can get up on that stage and dance, then we all know you get it.  Then we’ll know that you’re not hiding and not talking about it because you’re ashamed of her!  You’ll prove that you really have accepted her, no matter what she is, and I’ll back off!  Or are you ashamed of her, Blakey?”

            “I ain’t ashamed of her!” Blake exclaimed.

            “Then prove it!”  Clyde indicated the stage.  “Get her up there to show us how they dance in L. A!  She doesn’t have to take off one stitch of clothing, just give us some good dancing, something we ain’t seen out here in the sticks!  Because I’m willing to bet that, even if she ain’t ashamed of what she is, when the chips are on the table, you sure as hell are, Blake!”

            Blake moved until he was nearly nose to nose with his brother.  “And what, exactly, is she, Clyde?”

            “An L. A. slut!”

            Blake remembered hearing the crash of splintering wood and the shouts of everyone around them.  But mostly he was hearing the sound of fists impacting flesh.  He and Clyde rolled about in the remnants of the broken table, pounding away at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun says it’s about damned time someone beat that asshole’s ass. "I hope that when it’s over, Blake tells his mom so that SHE beats his ass! She told him not to treat Adam like that, so when Blake’s done beating the shit out of him, he should tell him to go cry to mommy and then give his mom a ball bat. The guy is a straight-up douche nozzle!" I'm thinking maybe Mr. Fun does not care for Clyde?


	17. Museum Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake takes matters, and Adam, into his own hands. Adam is less than pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another lovely work of art by our Nutcracker!

            Blake didn’t remember ever being so furious in his life.  After what seemed like half the town had joined in to drag him off of his asshole brother, Blake had grabbed Adam, thrown him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and stormed out.  Of course, his truck wasn’t out there.  Blake had forgotten that he and Adam had come here in Clyde’s jeep.  The keys to that were likely still inside.  That meant they may as well be on the other side of the moon, as Blake had no intention of going back inside or letting Clyde anywhere near Adam again.  Fine.  Home was five miles away.  Adam certainly wasn’t heavy, but he’d feel heavy fast at that distance.  Hopefully, he’d soon stop struggling and simply walk with Blake.  For now, Blake was content to carry him and ignore the constant yelling, kicking, and pounding on his back.  Blake knew he’d end up with blisters and a sore back, but at the moment he simply did not care.  Carrying Adam, even when he was making this much of a fuss, was oddly therapeutic.  He badly needed the exercise anyway.  It was the only way he could burn off the anger that still made his blood boil.

            “Put me down!”

            No, that wasn’t going to happen.  Blake needed Adam to provide a focus.  By holding on to Adam’s tiny, squirming form as he fought to get down, Blake could occupy his mind.  He’d apologize to his friend later.  In some part of his mind, he cringed at what he was doing.  Adam had just been publically humiliated, and now Blake was carrying him in a very undignified fashion.  Adam’s rear end was next to Blake’s cheek.  His arms were holding Adam’s kicking legs.  And Adam was fighting, trying to crawl off over the side of Blake’s shoulder or down his back, trying to pull his legs free, shoving at Blake’s head or slapping at his back.  But Blake needed Adam now.  He could focus on carrying his friend, focus on marching off down the dark road towards the ranch, and keep himself from running right back into Tony’s Tonk and ripping Clyde’s head completely off of his neck.

            “Blake!  Put me down, dammit!”

            Blake didn’t slow or loosen his grip.  He clung to Adam like a drowning man, kept walking, and tried to think.  He couldn’t keep Adam here in this town now, not after this.  Adam would be mortified.  He’d be afraid to show his face in public, afraid to go out on the street.  Would he still be willing to go out on the stage with Blake on his tour now?  And wouldn’t that crush the former rocker, to not be able to perform again?  How could he stand to watch Blake perform while he himself was too afraid to try?  How would Adam go on?  What if he gave up, let go of the tenuous link he had to his body through the diamond, and simply faded away?  Blake shuddered and tightened his grip.  No.  He could not allow that to happen.  Maybe he should cancel his tour?  Yes, Blake decided, that was probably for the best.  It would likely mean the death of his career, but that wasn’t important right now.  All that mattered was keeping Adam safe.

            “Let go of me!  Come on, Blake, put me down!  Please?”

            He hated losing his ranch and all of the memories it had, but Blake didn’t see much choice there.  Maybe he could hire caretakers, sell off or give away most of his stock, and just take Adam to a smaller ranch somewhere else?  Maybe Montana or Wyoming?  He needed somewhere remote.  There, he’d recreate Adam’s room, bringing along all of his belongings from the ranch house, as well as whatever he had from the house in L. A., and make it comfortable.  Adam could stay there, be happy there, and get strong under Blake’s care.  The second house in L. A., he’d sell.  With no career, there was no need to maintain it.  Then Blake could focus solely on Adam, continue to help his friend get back as much as he could.  That’s what Blake should have done in the first place.  He never should have let Adam out into the world where he could be hurt!  Adam needed Blake to help him, guide him, and most importantly, protect him!  And Blake would do exactly that.  Blake would do everything he could to keep him safe, protect him so that Adam could go back to what he was.  Blake grimaced, thinking of how Adam had looked at his own picture on the wall.  How that must have hurt him, to know he could never be that man again!  Well, Blake would help him get as close as he possibly could.  That would help anchor him to his body.  Then, when Adam was strong once more, the two of them could decide how best to go on.  The idea was a good one.  Blake would keep in touch with Ma and maybe Emma, but neither of them would ever get his address.  There was too much of a chance that Clyde might find out, might come after Adam, and hurt him again somehow.  And that couldn’t happen.  If Clyde came near Adam again, Blake would not be responsible for his own actions.  And if his brother ever did anything to hurt Adam again, Blake vowed, one of them would end up in the hospital.  As it was, Blake had come perilously close to doing serious injury to Clyde tonight.  But he couldn’t bring himself to care.  The only thing he cared about right now was Adam.  Blake kept walking, cowboy boots clicking on the pavement of the dark road, carrying Adam to safety.

            “Blake!  Stop this shit, right fucking now!”  Adam was thrashing, pounding on Blake’s back.  “Put me down!”

            “Adam, I know you’re pissed off,” Blake grumbled.  “I’m just as pissed, if not more so.  But don’t worry.  You’re safe now.  I’ll get you home, and then we’ll talk about our plans after a good night’s sleep.”

            “No, let go of me!  I need to go back!”

            Blake snorted.  “Much as I’d like to finish the job of shoving Clyde’s head right up his ass, it really is best if we just keep walking.  Once we get back to the house…”

            Adam pounded on Blake’s back.  “I don’t want to go back to the house, I want down!”

            “Well, that ain’t happening,” Blake snapped, irritated.  “I know you don’t want to be carried, but frankly if I’m not carrying you, my hands are going to start itching to close around my brother’s neck!”

            “Dammit, Blake, this isn’t about your stupid brother!” Adam yelled.  “I just want down, alright?  I need to go back to the bar and finish this shit, show Clyde and all those assholes that I’m not something to be ashamed of!”

            “Oh, hell no!”  Blake tightened his grip again.  “Adam, that is so not happening!  I don’t give a shit what they think!  They can believe whatever the hell they want, but they’re not going to shame you into dancing!  Fuck them!  I’m taking you home.”

            “I don’t want to go!  Blake, what the hell is wrong with you?  Why won’t you listen to me?!”

            “Letting Clyde take you here was a big mistake, and now I’m rectifying that.  I’m taking you home!  End of story!”

            “No, stop!  Put me down!”

            Blake kept walking.

            Adam went wild, kicking and struggling with all the strength in his tiny body.  “I said put me down!  _Put me down!”_

            To Blake’s horror, Adam’s frantic struggling was causing him to slide down head first over Blake’s back.  In another moment, Adam would be in real danger of falling.  If he fell, if he hit his head…!  “Shit, hold on!” he called.  He lowered Adam’s feet to the ground, let him stand, and then grabbed him again, dumping his friend once more over his shoulder.  “There you go, buddy.  I got ya.”

            “No!”  Adam was screaming and struggling again.  “Let me go, you fucking Neanderthal!  I said no!  Why won’t you just leave me the fuck alone?!”

            That finally got through to Blake.  He blinked in surprise.  “Adam?”

            “Put me down!”  Adam pounded on Blake’s back.  “Don’t you carry me away, you son of a bitch!  You have no fucking right!”

            “Huh?”  Blake’s head was spinning.  He’d just rescued Adam, just saved him from Clyde and the cruel, humiliating trick he’d played.  Why was Adam fighting now?  “Adam, it’s ok!  I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

            _“You are the one who is hurting me!”_ Adam screamed.  “Fucking let go of me, Blake!  Put me down!  Now, dammit!”

            Blake set Adam back on his feet.  Then he took Adam’s shoulders, peering into his friend’s angry face in the near-darkness.  “Adam, what’s the matter?”

            “You!”  Adam shoved at Blake, pulling away from the big man’s hands.  “How could you just put your hands on me, carry me away like that?  Bad enough you started a fight with your asshole brother.  I can handle him on my own, but I kind of expected that from you, and frankly, he had it coming.  But why the fuck did you have to carry me away afterwards?  Really, Blake?  Throwing me over your shoulder and carrying me down the street?  Why not just drag me off to your cave by my hair and get it over with?”  Adam groaned, covering his face with his hands.  "Holy shit, I have never been so fucking humiliated in all my life!”

            “Whoa, hold the phone!” Blake exclaimed.  “You were embarrassed because of what _I_ did?”

            “Hell yes I’m embarrassed!” Adam yelled.  “The whole fucking bar saw you go all alpha male and then cart off the little woman!  How the hell am I going to live this shit down, huh?”

            Blake sputtered.  “Adam, what the hell did you want me to do?  Stand back and let him humiliate you in front of everyone?”

            “You mean like you just did?  Like that?  I can handle assholes like Clyde, Blake!  I was about to tell the fucker off, but you started swinging and then…!”  Adam ground his teeth. 

            “Dammit, Adam, you can’t just tell people off anymore!  You can’t back it up!  You’re just a tiny little lady now!”

            “I know!” Adam screamed.  He spread his arms.  “Fucking look at me, Blake!  Do you think I wanted this?  I never wanted any of this to happen, and I sure as shit didn’t want that plane to go down!  But it did, and this is the hand I’ve been dealt so I gotta play it.  But I can’t!  Because _you won’t fucking let me!”_   In the faint light, Blake saw him take a few steps away, clutching at his head with both hands and groaning.  “Blake, I can’t take this anymore!  I appreciate everything you have done for me, big guy, but I cannot live with you any longer!  I gotta figure out something on my own.  Once I get back to L. A…”

            “What?”  Blake grabbed Adam in a reverse bear hug, once again lifting him off of his feet.  “You don’t want to live with me anymore?  Adam, that’s crazy!  Where the hell would you go?  No one else is going to believe you!”

            “Don’t you think I know that?” Adam hissed, squirming.  “But you’re not giving me a choice!  You’re driving me insane!  I feel like an exhibit in a museum dedicated to myself!  Or at least your memory of the man I used to be.  No matter what, you won’t let me change!  Every time I deviate even a little from what you remember me being before I died, you do something to bring me right back in line.  It’s just getting worse and now this is the last straw!  I can’t stand it, Blake!”

            “I’m just trying to protect you!”

            “Protect me?”  Adam gave a short, harsh laugh.  “Is that what this was all about?  I know what you’ve been doing!”

            Blake hesitated.  “What do you mean?”

            “I found out you fired your guitarist!  I know you did it to give me a job, but all the rest of it?  Your agent didn’t know anything about your new musical style.  And you’ve always discussed all your career options with him!  The producers had no idea you were working on a new album.  They hadn’t greenlit any of it!  And they were calling to try to figure out who the hell I was because you’d never even mentioned having a co-writer in your songs!”

            Blake cringed.  “I can explain all that, Adam!  I…”

            But Adam wasn’t listening.  He writhed and kicked at Blake, trying hard to pull free.  “It was all a trick, wasn’t it?  Hiring me, the touring, the new album, your new style?  I thought you wanted to go a new direction in your career, but if that was the case, you would have brought in your agents and the producers!  Then I thought you were just trying to help me.  But it’s more than that, isn’t it, Blake?  It was all just an excuse!  An excuse to keep me close to you, so you could, as you say, protect me!”  He spat the word as if it were a curse and strained against Blake.  “Let me go!  I don’t need protection, Blake, and I sure as hell don’t need for you to change your whole life around just so you could fucking manipulate me!”

            “Dammit, Adam, didn’t you hear Mark?” Blake exclaimed.  “He said your hold on this body is fragile, that any serious injury or a blow to your head could knock you right back out of it again!  And if you lost the will to live, you’d fade away!  The way Clyde tricked you tonight, made the whole town think you’re nothing but a slut?  How could you go out again after this shit tonight and face people on the street?  I understand that I embarrassed you too, when I carried you out, but that’s on me!  I can live with you being pissed at me, Adam.  But if you were isolated out here because everyone thought you were a slut?  If you didn’t have me and were all alone?  You’d lose the will to live fast!”  Blake’s breath was coming fast as Adam continued to struggle.  “Stop fighting me!  All I want to do is protect you!  I’m trying to keep you alive!”

            “You’re keeping me alive, but you’re not letting me live!” Adam yelled.  “What’s the point, Blake?  Why stay here if you never let me out, never let me figure out who I am now?”

            “Who you are now?”  This made no sense to Blake.  “Dammit, you’re Adam Levine!”

            “And who’s that, huh?  That’s a dead guy, Blake!  He’s been dead for a year, and _he isn’t coming back!”_

            Blake shook him.  “Stop that!  You _are_ back, you’re here!”

            “But I’m not!  I’m not that guy on the magazine cover anymore, Blake!  I can’t ever be him again!  And you’re suffocating me because you refuse to let either one of us move on with our lives!  You want this body to be just like my room at your ranch, with everything inside of it just as it was when I died.  But Blake, think about it, ok?  When have I ever stagnated?  I was always changing, trying new things!  I’m back now, and all I want to do is just live whatever life I’ve got while I’m here.  Why can’t you just let me?”

            “What the hell do you want me to do, Adam?” Blake exclaimed.  “I gotta keep you safe!”

            “You can’t!  You cannot seal me inside of a diamond to keep me safe, ok?  And you can’t spend the rest of your life guarding that diamond to make sure no one ever takes it away from you!  Dammit, Blake, don’t you see, that’s no way to live!  Life is about taking chances, taking risks!  You have no right to stop me from living my life just because I might get hurt”

            “You might get dead!” Blake roared.  “I cannot lose you again!  You might be ok with dying again, but dammit, I’m not!  You really want me to go back to that place I was in after you were gone?”

            “That’s the problem, Blake.  That dark place you went to when I died?  You’re still there now!  You never left!”  He shook his head and squirmed frantically.  “It’s not just me you’re hurting.  You’re suffocating us both!  Let me go, Blake.  Please!”

            Blake heard it, the literal and physical meaning behind Adam’s words.  But he couldn’t let Adam go.  If he let him go now, Adam would disappear.  He’d vanish into the darkness that pressed in on him now and Blake would never, ever see him again.  He tightened his hold around the small figure in his arms.  “No,” he grunted.  “I can’t let you go, Adam.  I can’t!”

            Adam gave a little cry, but he stopped struggling.  His body became still in Blake’s arms.  Somehow, that only made Blake feel worse.  Adam was a fighter.  He never gave up, but he was clearly giving up now.  Blake didn’t know what to do. 

            “Please, Blake?”  Adam’s plea was barely a whisper.  “If you take me away, there honestly isn’t a single thing that I can do to stop you.  But you’re smothering me!  Please let me go?  I can’t stay with you!  I can’t live as another artifact in your museum, ok?  One way or another, I have got to move on!”

            Blake trembled.  His head lowered, pressing his face into Adam’s hair.  There it was, Adam’s familiar scent.  It was stronger than before.  Blake no longer believed it was his imagination.  Regardless of what body Adam was in, this was him.  His best friend.  The one person who understood him, who knew him better than even his own family.  How could he let that go?  How could he possibly let Adam pass out of his life again?

            He couldn’t.  He couldn’t go back to how it was after Adam’s plane fell from the sky, when the funeral was over and the world simply moved on.  It wasn’t fair.  He couldn’t deal with those long nights months later.  All those hours he’d spent pouring over pictures and drinking alone.  The emptiness in his life.  The gaping wound that wouldn’t heal.  No.  He couldn’t let Adam go.

            But as he stood in the dark, listening to Adam’s quiet breathing as he hung passively in Blake’s arms, Blake knew he had to.  His strength simply drained away in the face of Adam’s pain.  He wouldn’t, couldn’t, trap his friend this way.  His arms fell away, lowering Adam to the ground, and Adam gratefully stepped free.  “Thank you,” he said.

            “What do I do, Adam?” Blake asked.  “What happens now?”

            “Well, step one, I gotta go back to that bar and deal with Clyde’s bullshit.”

            “What?”  Blake stiffened.  “Adam, you cannot fight with Clyde!  You only come up to his damned chest!”

            “I know how small I am now, alright?  Stop reminding me!  I have no intention of starting a fistfight with the bastard!  I gotta fight him another way.  Because he’s not beating me.  I refuse to let him win this!”

            There it was, Adam’s competitive spirit.  No matter what, Adam had always hated to lose.  Blake smiled to see its return.  But he still didn’t understand.  “Adam, if you go back into that tonk, you’re only going to make things worse,” he reminded.  “You could walk right up to Clyde and slap him across the face, but that’s not going to do much in the long run.”

            “I’m not touching him.”  Adam had started walking briskly back towards the lights of the tonk.  Blake was dismayed to see that he hadn’t gotten nearly as far away as he’d thought.  “You know, it’s funny,” Adam was saying.  “You look right at me, but you never see me.  You see my body as this fragile thing in desperate need of attention.  And you see me as some sort of interactive memory of myself that could break any moment.  But you don’t see me, Blake.  I’m more than this body, or even the man I was.  I’m something else now.  And maybe Clyde isn’t wrong to call me an L. A. slut.”

            “Adam!”

            “It’s true!  We don’t know anything about Kitty, not really.  We know she was a stripper, and we both know that strippers sometimes, well, we know what some of them do for extra cash, alright?  So maybe she was a slut, a whore, all those things he’s been accusing me of being!”

            “She isn’t one now!” Blake defended.  “Not with you inside of that body!”

            “No, she’s not.  I’ve had my share of lovers, but I never just slept around.  I’m not a slut, a whore, or a stripper.  I’m Adam Levine, dammit!  And I refuse to let your shithole brother beat me.  He wants an L. A. slut?  I’m gonna show him what an L. A. slut is all about!”

            Blake grew cold.  “You’re not seriously going to dance!”

            “Why the fuck not?”

            “Where the fuck do I begin?” Blake yelled.

            Adam whirled, stopping so fast that Blake nearly ran into him.  “Blake, I cannot fight this asshole like I would have if I’d still been in my old body.  Like it or not, this is my body now.  But I’m not going down easily.  I just need a different way to fight, to use the weapons I have at my disposal.  Your brother, the perverts in that bar, and this whole town are not going to have any idea what hit them!”

            “How the hell will dancing help?” Blake challenged.

            “Because I’ll show them that I will not be intimidated, that I’m not ashamed of my past or who I am!  Yeah, Kitty was a stripper, and now she’s gone and I have to live with that.  But I refuse to let it be a weakness to be used against me!  I’m turning this shit around and throwing it right into Clyde’s face.  And Blake?  Your brother is nothing but a damned bully.  Once he learns that he can’t hurt me like this, that I won’t be ashamed of what I am?  Then he loses all his weapons.  And that is when I win!”

            Blake hurried after his furious friend as he started back towards the bar.  “Adam, if you do this, your reputation will be completely gone,” he warned.  “You’ll never fit in, never be accepted!”

            “I was never going to fit in anyway,” Adam retorted.  “I was an idiot to try.  I wanted to try to make your family happy, but that isn’t me and it never will be.”

            “You’re not an exotic dancer, either, Adam!”

            Adam never slowed.  “I am tonight!”

            Blake reached for his friend, stopping just before grabbing Adam again.  His fists clenched in frustration.  “Dammit, Adam, don’t do this!”

            But it was too late.  Adam kicked the door open, letting it slam hard into the wall and drawing every eye.  “Hey, Clyde!” he yelled.  “You got yourself a deal!”

            The tonk erupted in cheers, and Blake’s stomach churned.  Every eye followed Adam as he marched up to Tony, waved him over, and spoke quickly into his ear.  Tony’s eyebrows shot up.  He nodded, dug around a bit behind the bar, and then handed something metallic to Adam.  Adam accepted it and went back stage.  The metallic object Tony had given him was clutched in one hand.

            Blake sat down, boneless, into the closest chair and accepted the drink someone pressed into his hand.  He downed the entire glass in one go.

            Scissors.  Adam had just headed backstage with a pair of _scissors_ in his hand.

            _Adam, what the hell are you doing?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr Fun says, "That’s a good question, Blake." Adam was 100% right. Blake was being worse than his brother. What he did was completely uncalled for. He needs to stop being a Neanderthal. He wants Adam to be Adam so much, but he won’t let him not be anything except the Adam he remembers. *Started singing “Moves Like Jagger”* Said Adam’s got great big hairy balls even though he’s a girl.


	18. I'm Adam Fucking Levine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam hates to lose, no matter what!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The artwork at the end is yet another piece by our Nutcracker. When I saw this, I was just sitting there for a moment with my mouth open. Absolutely amazing, you blew me away!
> 
> Diegetic music here is "All In The Name Of..." by Motley Crue  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UprnWvYgTJk

             _Holy shit, what the hell have I gotten myself into?_ Adam thought. _Am I really doing this?  Am I really going to go out there and dance for all those people?_

            Adam leaned over the sink in the women’s bathroom and splashed water onto his face.  He still felt weird coming into them, but he’d finally started to accept the reality of his situation.  He was in a women’s body.  No one but Blake knew who he really was, and those he’d told didn’t believe him.  The world would only ever see him as Kitty Miller.  Tonight was stark proof of that.  For a moment, he’d honestly believed that Blake would kill his own brother.  It had been terrifying to see.  Blake, he knew, would always rush to defend him.  But that would only hurt Blake in the end.  Kitty had made her choices, and now Adam had to live with them.  But even so, he was grateful.  After all, if it wasn’t for Kitty’s poor life choices, she never would have taken the ring, and Adam wouldn’t have been given a second chance.

            “Kitty?”

            Adam looked up and saw Emma Shelton.  Blake’s sister had the decency to look embarrassed as she came up to Adam and handed him a few towels to dry his face.  “Thanks,” he said, taking them.

            “Don’t mention it.”

            Adam mopped at his face.  “What are you doing here?”

            “They called me to pick up my idiot of a big brother,” Emma explained.  “He’s way too drunk to drive, and I guess Blake really rattled what few brain cells he’s go left.”  She paused.  “Listen, what Clyde said…”

            “…Was exactly what everyone was thinking,” Adam declared.  “Clyde just had the balls to say it to my face.”  He moved to the trash, disposed of the towels, and turned to face Emma.  “Listen, I get it, ok?  An L. A. stripper is not someone you want as a sister-in-law, especially not one that met your brother the way I met Blake!  But I’m not the same person as the woman who mugged him.  I know you don’t believe me…”

            “That’s the thing,” Emma interrupted.  “I do believe you, Kitty.  I’ve gotten to know you a little, and the woman you are now?  She isn’t someone who could have mugged my brother.  You’re kind, caring.  And Kitty?  You really do care about Blake.  Maybe a little too much?”

            Adam’s shoulders sagged.  “That obvious, huh?”

            Emma nodded.  She came up behind Adam and put her hands on his shoulders, addressing him in the mirror.  “Blake is a very good man.  You know that now if you didn’t already.  And I cannot think of a man who deserves love more.  My brother deserves a woman who will give him all the love and affection she can give.  Someone who will always stand by him.  A good woman who will support him, give him children, and raise them with him.”

            Children?  Adam’s hand went to his stomach.  That hadn’t occurred to him.  In this body, he could have a child!  The idea of carrying Blake’s baby made a warm glow rise in his chest.  “I hadn’t thought about that,” he said.  “Blake does deserve a family.  He’d make a wonderful father!”

            “Yes, he would.  With the right woman.  A good, solid, sensible, practical country girl, Kitty.”

            Adam blinked, finally realizing that Emma wasn’t talking about him.  “As opposed to an L. A. slut like me, you mean?”

            “I never said that.  And I’ll have words with Clyde for calling you that!  But Kitty, you _are_ a stripper, and now you’re honestly planning to go out there and dance?”  She shook her head.  “If you do, Blake is the one who is going to suffer the most for it.”

            “Only because he’s got no support!  And neither do I!  You’ve been against me from the start, haven’t you?” Adam accused.  “I thought you were trying to help me.  But this whole time, all you were doing was trying to set me up to fail, to prove that I’m not cut out to be with Blake!”

            Emma’s lips pressed into a tight line.  “Kitty, I don’t expect you to understand.  But I didn’t set you up for anything.  Blake is my baby brother!  I love him.  I have looked out for him all our lives, and I don’t intend to stop now.  But I would also very much like to help you.  I know you were on your own, stripping for money without a soul to look out for you until your accident.  Until my brother came into your life, you never had things like a close, loving country family, support of a community, or a good solid upbringing!  But Blake has.  His family will always care for him.  Clyde’s a jackass, but he did what he did because in the end, he loves Blake, too.”  She nodded, her expression solemn.  “Blake is my brother, Kitty.  I have to look out for him.  I like you, but in the end, I need to do what’s right for _him,_ not the stray cat he took in off the street!”

            “Kitty the stray cat.  That’s cute.”  Adam tasted bile as he glared at Emma.  “Has it ever occurred to you, while you were doing all that’s right for Blake, that Blake is a grown man who’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions?”

            “Blake is confused.”  She said it with such assurance, such certainty, that Adam blinked.  “He has always been a good man who has done the right thing.  And he’s always tried to help others.  That’s his life, who he is, and that’s precisely the problem!  Although Clyde’s got a big mouth on him, what you said before was right.  He isn’t going to be the only one thinking you’re… what he said.”  She came around, turning Adam’s shoulders until he was facing her.  “I’ll get you a ticket back, wherever you want to go.  And I’ve got a bit of money saved up that I can give you to get you back on your feet.”

            Adam sputtered.  “You want me to leave.  You want to pay me off to leave!”

            “Surely you must see it’s for the best!” Emma urged.  “You don’t have to debase yourself tonight.  Just come with me out the back.  I’ll take you to my place, get you the money in the morning, and you can be on a plane by tomorrow afternoon, heading back to where you belong.  You’re a sweet girl, Kitty.  Back in L. A., there’s going to be someone that’s right for you!  But you don’t belong here in Oklahoma, and you don’t belong with Blake!”  She smiled and gently stroked Adam’s cheek.  “It’s time for you to go home, sweetheart.”

            Adam gave a dry laugh.  “You mean go back to stripping?”

            Emma huffed.  “Well, you certainly can’t strip here!  Even Clyde only suggested that you dance, Kitty.  But your kind of dancing?”  She shook her head.  “It doesn’t belong here any more than you do.”

            “Well, that’s just too bad, isn’t it?  Because I’m dancing!”

            “Oh, saints preserve us!” Emma exclaimed, throwing up her hands.  “Even Clyde doesn’t expect you to actually go through with this!”

            “And that’s precisely why I’m doing it!”

            “Oh, please!  Those men are some grade A assholes out there, but no one really expects you to dance tonight except for Clyde’s perverted friends!  Kitty, what must go through your head?”

            “That it’s time I stopped trying to be something I’m not!” Adam looked in the mirror, taking in his appearance, and picked up the scissors.  “Now, will you excuse me, please?  If I’m dancing, I need to alter my clothes.”

            She stared at him.  “You cannot be serious.”

            “I’m as serious as a heart attack, Emma!” Adam declared.  “I’m going out there and showing every one of those bastards exactly who I really am!  Then Blake can decide for himself if I’m someone he wants in his life!”

            Emma’s face grew pale, and then flushed.  She shook her head and stormed indignantly out.

            Adam immediately got to work.  He pulled off his shirt and bra and put the scissors to good use, cutting off the sleeves, the midriff, the buttons, and half of the button strips.  The remaining strips he tied into a knot.  The result was a crop top that pulled his breasts close together.  A bit more creative snipping resulted in them spilling over the top.  He pulled off the cowboy boots, removed his jeans, and went to work with the scissors again.  A moment later he had a pair of Daisy Dukes.  He was glad he’d worn panties under the jeans.  The boy shorts left lines that Emma had kindly told him about.  They also would have shown from under the tiny shorts he now wore.

            Pulling off his socks, he considered the boots.  Then he left them off.  The honky tonk wasn’t the most sanitary place to run around barefoot, but he doubted he’d be able to dance in the boots.  Fortunately, he had some idea of what his body could do.  He’d been doing yoga workouts regularly in the mornings.  Kitty’s strong dancer’s muscles were perfect enough for what he had in mind.  And why not?  Apparently, it’s how she’d earned her living.

            Finished, Adam stepped back and checked himself out in the mirror.  A blonde bombshell looked back at him.  She was short, but well-proportioned, with long, toned dancer’s legs, a flat stomach, and a knock-out figure.  Adam took in the view.  Until now, he’d felt a bit of stage fright.  But that was gone now.  Emma had said that no one except Clyde’s perverted friends actually expected him to dance tonight.  Well, those rednecks out there were about to get the shock of their lives.

            Blake’s siblings considered him an L. A. slut.  And maybe Kitty was.  But Adam had walked a mile in her shoes – in her _feet_ – and couldn’t judge her.  Kitty had done the best she could with what she had.  Adam might have to live with the results of her choices, but he had one thing on his side.

            _I’m not Kitty Miller,_ he thought as he headed out.  _I’m Adam fucking Levine!  These assholes want the real me?  By God, I’ll give it to them!_

****

            Adam had learned long ago not to underestimate the power of sex.  He’d been blessed with good looks, a strong, six foot frame, and hazel eyes that had made both men and women swoon.  In his career, Adam had learned how to utilize that power.  His body wasn’t something that he’d given away to just anyone, but those he’d allowed to have him had always walked away satisfied.  On the stage, he’d quickly learned to use his power to give his fans a good show.  Although his producer had pushed him out front when all he’d wanted was to play guitar, he’d made the best of it.  He knew exactly how to work a crowd, build them to a fever pitch, and then leave them cheering and screaming for more.  It was all about selling a product, and Adam was a born salesman.  The product he was selling now was different, but not in the ways that really mattered.  And his customers were very much the same.

            Time to bring out the goods.

            Adam took a deep breath and peeked out the stage door.  He caught Tony’s attention, gave him a thumbs up, and then ducked back behind the door.  No turning back now.

            A moment later, he heard the drone of a microphone as Tony picked it up.  “Well, folks, looks like our L. A. star has reconsidered performing for us!” Tony announced.  “She’s insisting on her own music.  It’s nothing like what we usually have here in the tonk, but you know these stars!  Here she is to dance for us, Miss Kitty Miller!”

            The music began, the starting drum beats barely audible over the roar of the crowd.  Then Adam came out, doing a perfect imitation of a runway strut, and the noise became deafening.  He pranced around the stage, letting everyone have a good look.  Long legs showed from high on the thigh from his altered jeans.  His ample breasts peeked out from the crop top.  He worked the crowd, one hand imperiously on his hip and Adam Levine’s trademark smirk on his lips.  Then he stretched his – _her,_ she was a _woman_ now! – legs, showing off before a crowd on its feet.  She let her hips sway, relishing in the power she had over this room.  She’d expected, once she was out on this stage in front of this leering crowd, to feel somewhat self-conscious.  After all, it was the first time Adam had ever really publically presented as a woman.  But instead, she found herself reveling in it.  For the first time, Adam truly felt like a woman.

            And now it was time to show what she could do.

            She brought up her hands, almost but not quite cradling an imaginary guitar.  But rather than pretend to chord as the opening guitar riff rang out, she rocked her hips.  It was something Adam had done so often while playing it was nearly automatic.  The crowd had always seemed to enjoy it.  Now, without the shield of the guitar, the shaking of her hips was on full view for everyone to see.  She raised her arms, still rocking her hips to the racing guitar, and provided a gentle counter with slow, languid movements of her arms and shoulders.  Adam licked her lips and smiled, letting her eyes become half-lidded, letting herself become one with the music.  For probably the first time ever, the honkey tonk was filled with the sound of Motley Crue, and they were _rocking!_

            By the time the vocals began, the music was practically part of her.  She started dancing.  Adam moved across the stage in quick, jerking steps.  She kept her toes pointed and her back arched.  Her hips never ceased their constant motion.  Her eyes roamed over the crowd as if searching for someone.  But she purposely avoided looking at one person in particular.

_I try like hell but I'm out of control, all in the name of, all in the name of rock 'n' roll!_

            Adam threw herself forward onto the stage and lifted her upper body up with her arms, arching her back as she rose before the drooling crowd.  She pushed herself back up to one knee and swung the other around.  For a moment, her toes brushed against the shirt of a man pressed up against the edge of the stage.  He’d already had a fantastic view when she’d arched up.  Now he couldn’t keep himself from reaching for her leg.  But Adam had anticipated that.  She quickly drew her leg back and pouted.  Then she was up, dancing again.  She was sex on legs, on display for the world to see, but none here could touch her.

            None, but one.  And now at last, her eyes turned towards him.

            Blake was on his feet.  He stood alone near the back of the crowd, forgotten bottle slipping from his hand.  His face was pale as he watched her.  The blue eyes were wide, constantly moving from Adam to something off to her side.  Adam turned, dancing in that direction to see what it was that was competing with her for Blake’s attention.  And her eyes fell on the magazine cover.

            Ah, that was it.  Well, now was as good a time as any.

            Adam strutted quickly back towards the magazine cover and leaned against the wall where it hung.  Locking her eyes with Blake’s, she reached out one hand and traced it over the glass, gently stroking the face of the man on the cover.  And then she raised one leg, put her foot on the bottom of the frame, and thrust her hips a few times in the most obviously lewd fashion she could manage.

            Well, how many times had Blake told Adam “Go fuck yourself?”  Wish granted. 

            The crowd certainly appreciated it.  Blake’s pale face grew even paler as howls, whistles, and screams of approval rang out all around him.  His eyes flicked between Adam and the picture.

            _It’s not me anymore, Blake,_ Adam thought as she danced back towards the center of the stage.  Her eyes were locked with his, willing him to understand.  _I can’t be him anymore!  Now there is only this woman.  She’s here, dancing for you and you alone!  See her, Blake.  See her!  See ME!_

            And Blake did.  His eyes were locked on Adam now.  And Adam couldn’t take it anymore.  She extended her arm, leveling her finger at Blake.  Then she beckoned Blake forward.

            Blake never stood a chance.  With a roar of approval, the men around Blake turned and surged towards him.  And suddenly Blake was up in the air, being hoisted over the heads of the crowd and carried bodily towards the stage.  Apparently, he was not a fan of crowd surfing.  He cursed savagely as they put him down, stumbling, on the edge of the stage.  But then he saw Adam, and grew silent.

            Adam had dropped to her hands and knees.  She crawled towards Blake, eyeing him like a particularly tasty morsel.  She was a tigress in heat, and Blake was frozen, pinned in the intensity of her stare.

            As the song rolled into the bridge, Adam rose up, wrapped her arms around Blake’s hips.  She took a deep breath and then exhaled, climbing up Blake’s body.

_Says to me daddy, can I have some candy?_

            She rose up onto the tips of her toes, wrapped one arm around his shoulder, and kept climbing.  Her legs wrapped around his waist.  Her fingers slid up the back of his neck, carded into his hair.

_Wanna be your nasty!  Anytime you want, you know you can have me!_

            Blake wouldn’t have Adam as a man.  But there was another option now.  She gripped Blake’s hair and pulled his head down even as she tightened her strong dancer’s legs around his waist.  And then she could finally, _finally_ press her lips to his.

            Blake gasped.  His arms had gone around her almost by instinct, so that when she broke away from the kiss and threw herself backwards into a dip, he held her easily.  She could feel him shaking when she came back up.  And by the look of his wide eyes and gaping jaw, Blake had finally gotten the message.

            They had another option now.  Blake’s blown pupils, barely any blue left in his eyes, were clear enough evidence of that all on their own.  His lips, still wet from their kiss, were parted, his breath coming fast as she raised a hand, stroking his face.  She moved her legs, pulling against his hips in rhythm, and succeeded in getting him to move, unconsciously rocking his hips to the roar of the crowd.  He simply stared at her, oblivious to everything else.  And Adam’s heart skipped a beat.  When the final notes rang out and the song ended, she kissed him again.  By now, Blake was gripping her so tightly she worried she’d bruise.  But it was worth it.  Oh, it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun thinks this was too awesome! Laughed very hard about what Adam did with the magazine cover. Crowd-surfing Blake was hilarious! He could just picture him, cursing those guys out. That song ruled! Emma pissed him off. "Stop being a female version of Clyde!"


	19. Another Option

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake sees Adam in a whole new way. And he likes what he sees!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I used for the first part of this is "Animals" by Nickelback  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdKY9SxqYIc

            Blake couldn’t think.  Most of the blood had drained out of his skull.

            He vaguely recalled the approving roar of the crowd, hands clapping him on the back, wolf whistles ringing out.  At some point, Tony had pressed the keys to Clyde’s jeep into Blake’s hand, said something about his sister taking his brother home.  But everything had narrowed to a tunnel.  The only thing he could see was her.

            The way she’d danced.  The heat in her emerald eyes as she’d looked at him.  The way she’d crawled to him, climbed up, her hot breath _holy fuck_ Blake could not remember ever being as turned on as he was right now.  She could have had her pick of anyone in the bar.  But she’d wanted him.

            Blake couldn’t look away, couldn’t keep his hands off of her.  And she knew it.  Her eyes were blazing, her breaths coming in little pants.  Beneath his hands, her skin was slick with sweat, flushed with exertion and arousal.  The tiny remains of her shirt were soaking wet and clinging to her breasts.  And her mouth was all over, kissing him, nibbling at his ear, his neck.  Her hands clutched tight to his hair.  The long legs were wrapped tightly around him.

            Somehow, he got her into the jeep.  She clung to him like a stubborn cat, pulling herself partially out until he finally managed to get the seatbelt around her and shut her door.  Then he was in the driver’s side and she was after him again.  He barely got the key in the ignition before she was unbuttoning his pants, pulling down his fly.

            _“Fuck!”_   Blake peeled out of the lot and was on the road.  To hell with the speed limit.  He needed to get her home, needed to lay her down and have her, and he needed it yesterday.  His cock, free from its confinement, stood at full attention.

            She seemed to be admiring the view.  Then she was squirming around, going sideways in her seatbelt, and Blake felt her breath.  When she took him in her mouth he very nearly went off the road.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!  Holy shit, girl, you’re going to wreck us!”

            “Then fucking pull over!”

            It took Blake a moment to interpret her words – didn’t anyone ever teach her not to talk with her mouth full? – and find a place to pull over.  But as soon as the jeep was stopped, she was out of her seatbelt, over the center console and taking him deep into her mouth.  Blake clutched at the steering wheel with one hand and pounded on the back of the passenger seat with the other.  She was good, she was damned good!  Her head bobbed, taking him so deep he could feel himself hitting the back of her throat and then coming back until she was nearly off.  She licked at his slit, curled her tongue behind the head, and slipped back down, hollowing her cheeks.  She gave a little moan and Blake gasped.  There was no way he was going to last like this.  And he wanted this to last.

            He took her shoulders, pushed her back.  She gave a cry of protest, fighting to reach him again.  Blake didn’t care.  Somehow, he managed to get into the back and pull her after him.  Then he pushed her down into the back seat.  She laughed and squirmed.  Her hands were everywhere, pulling at his clothing, mussing his hair.  Blake greedily untied the ragged strips of her shirt and freed her breasts.  He clutched at them, listening with delight as she moaned.  Then he fastened onto one nipple and started to lick and suckle.

            “Oh fuck, Blake, that feels so fucking good!”  Her voice was little more than a broken whimper.  “Please, baby, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long!”

            Blake hesitated.  Something about what she’d said didn’t sit right for some reason.  But then she shoved her hand down the front of his pants and gently cupped his balls, and his brain shut completely down.  He buried his face between her breasts, squeezing them together until she gasped.  Then he sat up, pushed her squirming body down with one hand on her stomach, and started undoing her cut-off jeans with the other.  She gave a little cry and lifted her hips.  He groaned, slipping his hand into her shorts.  Shoving her panties aside, his fingers explored her.  Hot, dripping wet, and apparently very sensitive.  She clung and clawed at him, thrusting against his hand.  The noises she was making were driving him wild.  He needed inside her, dammit, and now!  His wallet, where was it, there were condoms.  He managed to take his hands off of her long enough to pull it out of his pocket.  She hissed like an angry cat until she saw him fumble a condom from his wallet.  Then she snatched it out of his hands.  She eagerly tore it open, popped it into her mouth, and squirmed around until she could slide it onto him.  He clawed off her shorts, tugged at her panties and threw them aside…

            “Blake!  Are you alright?  Oh, Blake, you went off the road!  Are you hurt?  Blake!”

            “What the…?  Emma?!”  Blake finally registered the lights shining through the jeep windows.  His sister was outside.  She raced towards the jeep, pulled the door open and peered anxiously inside.

            Blake and Adam, frozen just before initiating sex, found themselves suddenly exposed for all the world to see.

            Blake swore, hurriedly shoved his rapidly-deflating erection back into his pants, and swore again at the ache in his balls.  _“Dammit, Emma!”_ he roared.  _“What the hell are you doing?!”_

            Emma’s mouth dropped in an O of surprise.  Her eyes moved rapidly, taking in the sight of her disheveled brother with his shirt open, and the furious woman glaring daggers at her, oblivious of her naked state as she jerked the door out of Emma’s hand and slammed it shut.

            From the vehicle behind Emma, Clyde was howling with laughter.  “Emma, you stupid idiot!” he yelled.  “Blake didn’t wreck, he was _parking!_   He couldn’t hold his pecker long enough to get home and was going for it right in Merv Fulton’s cornfield!  Rooty toot, Miss Kitty in her birthday suit!  Hot damn, you go, Blake!  Get in there, boy!”

            _“Motherfucker!”_   Blake scrambled back over the seat, grabbing for the keys as Adam dove for his clothes.  He started the jeep’s engine and peeled out in a spray of dirt and stunted corn plants.

            Adam, now dressed, sheepishly climbed up into the passenger seat.  The two exchanged a look.  Then they both started laughing.  “Oh shit!” Adam howled.  “Busted parking, and by your sister!  Blake, what will your mother say?”

            “Well, there went my libido, and I guess that’s a good thing.”  He smiled and shook his head.  “Dammit, Adam, you little shit!  You got that whole place worked up, but none more so than me.  For a moment there, I forgot…  Forgot…”

            “…Who I really am?” Adam said quietly.  “That I’m a guy?”

            “That you’re my best friend, Adam,” Blake said gently.  “That I love you way too much to take advantage of you.  I know you’re willing, buddy.  And believe me, you’re…  Damn!  But I can’t.  It wouldn’t be right.”

            “It’s just me in here, Blake!” Adam protested.  “Kitty’s not coming back!  And I want this.  I want to be with you!”

            “I know, but that ain’t it.  Kitty’s part of this, but not the way you’re thinking.”

            “Then what is it?” Adam pressed.  “You want me, Blake!  Why won’t you do what we both want?”

            “I can’t.  Not until I know for sure, in my heart, who it is I really want to be with.  I won’t just use you for your body.”

            Adam had been sagging dejectedly in his seat.  But now he straightened, looking at Blake with new respect.  “You’re a hell of a guy, Blake Shelton.  Not many men would have said no to what I’m offering you.”

            “And I assure you, my nuts are throbbing like Widowmaker kicked ‘em,” Blake groaned.  “Damn, I forgot how much that sucks!”

            “Try this end,” Adam grumbled.  “I assure you, it’s not fun over here, either!”  He glanced hopefully at Blake.  “You sure, buddy?”

            “I’m sure,” Blake confirmed.  “I know we’re both unhappy, but that’s what it is.  I love you, Adam, but...”

            “But not the way I love you.  I get it.  And Blake?”  Adam reached out a hand and gently laid it on Blake’s arm.  “Thank you.  For everything.”

            “You really want to thank me, Adam?  Then give me another chance!” Blake said impulsively.  “Don’t go back to L. A.  Stay with me!  I get it now, what you were trying to say.  I really wasn’t seeing you, and I wasn’t letting you breathe.  So let me get to know you again.  And maybe…  Maybe we’ll see where things go.  After all, we kind of have other options now, don’t we?”

            Adam smiled.  “Yeah, we do.  Alright, Blake.  One more try, you and me!”  He snickered.  “Ma’s going to kill me, isn’t she?”

            Blake groaned again.  “Brother, she is going to kill all four of us.”

            “Well, if I’m going to die anyway, then I’m dying happy,” Adam announced.  “Soon as we get home, I’m getting in the bath.”

            “Yeah,” Blake agreed.  He shifted uncomfortably.  “I’ll be hitting the showers.”

            Adam eyed him.  “You doing the same thing I’m planning on doing?”

            “I’m only human, buddy,” Blake confessed humbly.

            Adam sighed.  “Yeah.  Me, too.”

****

            Adam could hear Blake talking on the phone when she opened her eyes.  The conversation did not sound pleasant.  Whoever Blake was talking to, he didn’t seem to be able to get a word in edgeways.  Adam grimaced, got up, and made her way out to the kitchen.

            Blake looked considerably worse for the wear.  His face was bruised, his jaw swollen.  One eye sported a dark bruise under it.  His expression would have been appropriate on someone who had just bitten into an apple and discovered half a worm.  He’d given up on talking to whoever was on the phone and was simply listening, resigned.

            “Your Ma?” Adam asked, sliding into a chair.

            Blake nodded.

            “She really pissed?”

            Blake nodded again.  He sat down, his shoulders slumped.  After a moment, he winced, glanced at the phone, sighed deeply and put the phone down.  Then he buried his face in his hands and groaned.

            “Yup,” Adam declared.  “She’s pissed.”

            “I noticed that, yes,” Blake said dryly.

            Adam doodled a bit on the tabletop with his finger.  “You really beat the shit out of your brother, didn’t you?”

            Blake rubbed at his face and winced.  “Bastard had it coming.”

            “Oh, I agree, but he gave almost as good as he got.  You’re, like, a walking punchline now,” Adam informed him.

            Blake gave her a look.  “What the hell are you talking about now?”

            Adam smirked.  “What has two blue eyes and one of them is black?”

            “Funny,” Blake growled.  “You’re a funny guy.  I got this shiner protecting your honor, asshole!”

            “And I do actually appreciate it, despite everything else.”  Adam got up and started nosing through the cupboards, looking for breakfast.  “Even so, you do know you don’t have to do that anymore, right?  Protect my honor?”

            “I got it,” Blake sighed.  “I don’t know what went through my head, Adam.  No, that’s not true.  I know exactly what went through my head.  I panicked just thinking there was a chance I might lose you.”

            Adam’s expression darkened.  “Blake, you need to just forget everything that Magic Mark said, ok?  Like I told you, if I was so fragile that I could get jarred out of my body, it would have happened when John attacked me!”

            “Or last night,” Blake said quietly.  “Adam, I cannot apologize enough to you.  The way I acted, putting my hands on you the way I did?  There’s no excuse!”

            Adam was suddenly fascinated by a box of cereal.  “I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s ok.  But I forgive you.  Just please don’t do it again!”

            “I won’t.  I promise.”

            “And there is one more thing.”  Adam set the cereal down and turned to face Blake.  Her expression was serious.  “About what happened last night, when we left the bar?”

            “Adam…”

            “No, let me do this, alright?  Because you’re hardly the only one who needs to apologize here.”  She paused, looking for the right words.  “I got mad,” she began.  “And I did what I always do when I get mad – something reckless and stupid!  There was probably a much better way to handle things last night, one that didn’t involve me cutting up my clothes and shaking my ass on a stage in front of the whole town, but I was so pissed off I just didn’t care!  Now the fall-out from that is…”  She grimaced and slammed her hand on the counter.  “Dammit, Blake, I screwed up!  Even dead, I haven’t changed in that regard.  What I did was a vintage class A Adam Levine moment, and now what the hell is going to come of it?  I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but you’re a very different story.  I mean, when the press finds out…!”

            “Too late.” Blake handed her the morning paper.

            Adam took it and stared.  There they were, Adam in her tiny mutilated outfit, climbing Blake like a burlesque pole right on stage at Tony’s Tonk.  _Shelton Gets Physical With L. A. Stripper Miller!_ the headline screamed.  _West Coast Bombshell Brings Down House After Confrontation At Tony’s Tonk!_   Adam made a small noise of dismay and quickly read through the article.

            Blake was shaking his head, disgusted.  “Well,” he offered, “at least the article’s coming down pretty squarely on your side.  They’re putting the blame on Clyde for slut shaming you…”

            “…While they gleefully point out how nicely I just slut shamed myself,” Adam groaned.  She plopped down at the table, folded her arms on the table, and buried her face in them.  “Dammit, Blake!  I just shit all over both of our reputations!”  She rolled up the paper and hurled it away.  “Fuck me!”

            Blake came over and pulled her into a hug.  “Adam, listen to me, ok?  Yeah, what you did was pretty classic you, but it doesn’t matter.  I’m damned proud of you!  You said you wanted to take everyone’s opinion of you and throw it right back in their faces, and you did!  You showed the whole world just how strong you really are.  You did it to prove that you’re not ashamed, that you can’t be embarrassed about Kitty’s past.  So don’t you dare be embarrassed now!”

            “I’m not,” Adam said, snuggling unrepentantly against Blake’s chest.  “Not for me.  But I shouldn’t have brought you up on that stage.”

            “I’m glad you did.  We’re supposed to be dating after all, so it would have actually reflected worse on us both if you hadn’t!”  Blake kissed the top of her head.  “Aaaand now we both better get dressed.  And fast.  Because Ma’s coming over.”

            Adam froze.  “Oh shit.”

            “Yeah.”

            “When?”

            “She’ll be here any minute!”

            “Son of a bitch!”  Adam scrambled off her chair and raced back to the room.  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me that first?  You’re at least dressed, but I’m running around in my t-shirt and panties again!”

            “Next time get up at a decent time!  Aw shit, get dressed fast, Adam.  I just heard the gate opening!”

            Adam bounced through her room, dressing in record time.  She peeked into the mirror, ran her fingers through her hair, and hoped it was good enough.  Then she ran back into the kitchen and sat down, trying to look like she’d been relaxing all morning.

            Blake, who had actually been relaxing all morning, had already moved to answer the door.  But it wasn’t his mother who stood in the doorway.  It was Carson and Gwen.  Carson was holding a copy of the paper, opened to the picture of Blake and Adam on the stage.  Neither of them looked happy.  “Hey, buddy,” Carson said.  “Let’s talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun says that kind of cock blocking gets you murdered! Said he could just hear the needle scrape of the music stopping when Emma showed up. "I would have been short one sister!" But now things are not going well.


	20. Scams and Schemers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake and Adam are separated for a harsh dose of reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that second verse is a Funtimewriter original. I need help.

             _“Do your boobs hang low?”_ Adam sang.  _“Do they wobble to and fro?  Can you tie ‘em in a knot, can you tie ‘em in a bow?  Can you throw ‘em o’er your shoulder like a continental soldier?  Do your boobs hang low?”_

            In the next chair, Gwen giggled.

            _“Do your thighs hang loose?”_ Adam sang, inspired.  _“Do you waddle like a goose?  Does your belt feel like a noose?  Do you have a big caboose?  Do you go on every diet ‘cause you simply gotta try it?  Do your thighs hang loose?”_

            This time, Gwen laughed aloud.  “Alright, I’ve heard that first verse before, but not the second.”

            “I wrote it just for you,” Adam called.  “It’s your punishment for making me do this.  I’m bored as hell!”  Adam and Gwen were seated side by side in reclining chairs, wearing only white terrycloth robes with matching terrycloth towels over their hair.  Why anyone would willingly subject themselves to this was beyond Adam.

            Gwen scoffed.  “If you’re planning to go to that party with Blake in two days, you need a mani/pedi,” she declared.

            “Do you really think anyone will be looking that closely at my toenails?” Adam challenged.  “I am sitting here with my hands and feet soaking in some unidentifiable substance and I’m ready to go crazy!  And what is this shit I just let them smear all over my face?”

            “It’s mud, Kitty.  It’s great for your pores.”

            “My pores can get muddy enough all on their own.  And why the hell do I have cucumber slices on my eyes?” Adam complained.  “Vegetables are for eating, not wearing!”

            “You can eat ‘em when we’re done.”

            “After they’re covered with mud and eyeball goop?  No thanks!  Also, that seriously tickled when they did that callous scrub thing on my feet.”

            “You have the cutest, most dainty little feet,” Gwen cooed.  “But you really made it tough on that poor girl.  She was just helping you, girl!  Those calluses were awful!”

            “Dancing, probably,” Adam sighed.  “I swear I was trying to hold still, but it was difficult.”

            “See?” Gwen called.  “You needed a pedicure.”

            “Like I needed a hole in my head!  Where are you taking me after this?  Back to the house, hopefully?”

            “After this is a full-body hot stone massage.”

            “Oh, great.  First mud, then rocks.  And some stranger grabbing my ass and getting paid for it,” Adam grumbled.

            “Relax,” Gwen advised.  “They’re very professional.”

            “Yeah, I’m sure they are.”  Adam paused, and then plunged ahead.  “I’m betting you’re surprised I’m even worried, aren’t you?  Considering that you dragged me out here while Carson’s back at the house with Blake and his family, telling them what a slut I am?”

            Gwen sighed.  “Kitty, no one is calling you a slut, alright?  But you were an exotic dancer, and you just proved it last night!  Now Blake is a grown man.  He obviously can spend his time with whomever he wants.  But Carson and I hired that private detective for a reason.”

            “Because you care about Blake,” Adam supplied.  “I get it.  Honestly, if our positions were reversed, I’d do the same thing.”

            “It’s not the dancing we’re worried about, Kitty.”  Gwen’s voice was suddenly serious.  “You were associated with some very dangerous people.  The fact that you were in the sex business was bad enough.  But the Sinners are as bad as they get!  And the detective doesn’t think that they’re finished with you, Kitty.  In four days, Blake’s got to go back to L. A., and they’ll be there waiting for you both!”

            Adam stilled.  “You think they’ll cause trouble?”

            “I can’t answer that,” Gwen replied.  “But I do know that Blake needs to know exactly what he’s getting into.”

            “What about me?” Adam asked.  “Gwen, I don’t know who Kitty used to associate with, so do you think you can maybe fill me in?  Who are these guys now?”

 

            “They call themselves ‘The Sinners,’” Carson explained.  “And they’re bad news, Blake.  That asshole you fought with in the park, Vince Cole?  He and his brother Wes have been dealing drugs for them since they were kids.”

            “So they’re a street gang?” Blake asked.

            “More like a mini mafia,” Carson corrected.  “The Sinners started out as a street gang and graduated into bigger and better things.  Now they own property all over their part of L. A., including the strip club where Kitty works.”

            “So Kitty strips for them and her boyfriend sells their drugs?” Clyde asked.  At least that’s what Blake thought he’d said.  It was difficult to tell with his swollen jaw.  “These ‘Sinners’ guys basically own ‘em both?”

            “That’s right.”  Carson handed Blake a manila envelope.  “That’s the information the detective was able to find, Blake.  Her name’s Kitty Elaine Miller, and she’s twenty-three years old, from Cleveland, Ohio.  No college, never graduated high school, no work experience.  Dad wasn’t around and her mom was a druggie, so she grew up in foster care.  No other family.  Nobody cared about this girl, Blake.  Kitty left home when she was sixteen and came to L. A. wanting to be an actress, but instead she ended up stripping in one of the Sinners’ clubs.  That’s probably where she met her boyfriend, Vince Nance.  He’s got a rap sheet about a mile long, but Kitty’s actually never been arrested for anything worse than possession and public intoxication.  Quite a few instances of domestic violence, cops were at their place a few times on calls, but she never pressed charges.”

            “These girls make such terrible life choices,” Emma murmured.

            “Poor kid,” Blake sighed.  He rubbed at his face.  “Alright, so she was a lost scared little girl who fell through the cracks.  But considering, it sounds like she kept herself more or less out of trouble, until she joined in to mug me.”

            “Near as he can tell, Kitty stuck to stripping,” Carson agreed.  “She wasn’t ever a prostitute, or at least she was never accused or arrested for it.  She was very popular.  She did a lot of private parties, but she danced and that was all.”

            “Yeah, I know she was a stripper,” Blake grumbled.  “But to be perfectly honest?  I don’t care, alright?  What she did in the past, or who she worked for, doesn’t matter now!”

            “Actually, Blake, it does,” Carson sighed.  “Because when Kitty’s boyfriend went to prison, he got caught with a lot of drug money.  And the Sinners want that money back.  In fact, that’s probably a very good reason for why they tried to rob you in the first place, Blake.  It even explains why Kitty, who has no history of violence at all before she attacked you, was part of that.  She did it to help her piece of shit boyfriend!  Vince is in deep with the Sinners.  My detective had some contacts that are associated with them, and word is, Vince is banking heavily on Kitty getting that money he owes from you, Blake.  One way or another.”

 

            Adam couldn’t believe her ears.  “Oh, that piece of shit!” she yelled.  “No wonder he was so anxious to get me back to work dancing!  How much does he owe these Sinners?”

            “Apparently, six figures,” Gwen explained.  “And that’s why I wanted to talk to you alone, Kitty.  I’ve got a lot more money than Blake, so if money is what you’re after, I can…”

            “I don’t want your money!”  She grimaced and shook her head.  “I can imagine how this looks…”

            “No, Kitty, I don’t think you can.”  Gwen’s voice was calm.  “You met Blake in the first place because you mugged him.  Now this detective found a few hundred thousand reasons why you’re with him!  Now, I don’t know you, what you’ve been through, or what goes through your head.  I know you grew up in the foster system, you’ve never been arrested for prostitution, and the time you’ve spent with Blake has made him the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time.  So I would like you to tell me right now, Kitty.  I will give you the money you need to pay off your boyfriend’s debt, no strings attached.  Take it and get yourself out from under the thumb of these Sinners.  I’ll even give you enough to make a new life for yourself!  All I ask is that you tell me the truth.  Is that why you’re really with Blake?”

            Adam clenched her fists.  “I am with Blake because I have loved him for years now!” she declared.  “I don’t know anything about Vince or these Sinners or anything else from Kitty’s past, and I do not care!  Gwen, do you remember that party, it was about a month after Blake got divorced, when Blake got so drunk he passed out on the couch and that groupie bitch started climbing on him?  You remember how I threw her sorry ass into the pool, and you thought the cops were going to arrest me, so you tried to make me hide in the bathroom?  Do you remember what I said?”

            “Why don’t you remind me?”

            Gwen’s voice sounded odd, but Adam couldn’t focus on her right now.  “I told you that I didn’t care, that I’d go to jail, to my grave, and straight to Hell if that’s what it took.  Because that is how much Blake means to me!  At the time, I imagine you thought I was talking about Blake as a friend.  But I wasn’t, Gwen, ok?  I loved him then, and I love him now, and I would personally murder anyone who tried to take advantage of my big stupid country hick!  He’s a bastard, but I love all six foot five of that son of a bitch!”

            “Adam, you must realize, Blake is in a very vulnerable state right now,” Gwen said, still calm.  “He’s been lonely and grieving, and he’s just finally starting to get his life together.  If someone were to step into his life and fill that hole in his heart even just a little, even if it’s not real?”

            “It’s real, dammit!” Adam roared.  “For fuck’s sake, Gwen, what do I have to do to prove to you it’s real?  Leave him, go to Vince and these Sinners and tell them to suck my cock?  Fine, I’ll do it!”

 

            “There are a couple of things that I need to make clear right about now,” Blake declared.  “First, I’m not a damned idiot, no matter what Adam says.  I’m not stupid enough to give a bunch of money to some pretty young thing just because she bats her lashes at me and asks nicely!”

            “What about Adam?” Carson asked.  “Would you give that money to him?”

            Blake blinked.  “What the hell kind of question is that?  Of course I’d give it to him!”

            “Blake, sweetie?” Ma called.  “That’s the problem.  Because Gwen has a few suspicions.  Does Kitty still believe she’s Adam Levine?  You look me in the eyes right now, Blake Tollison Shelton, and tell me the truth!”

            Blake grimaced and steadfastly avoided his mother’s eyes, not saying a word.

            “I knew it,” Emma groaned.  “Blake, that girl is either a clever con artist, or she’s seriously mentally ill!”

            “But it’s worse than that,” Carson declared.  “Because the things Gwen told me you’d said the last time you talked with her, Blake?  It’s not just Kitty who believes she’s Adam.  You believe it too, don’t you?”

            Blake felt all the blood drain out of his face.  He looked around, suddenly feeling trapped and surrounded as every eye stared back at him.

            “Dammit, Blakey, your girl’s crazy and she’s making you just as crazy!” Clyde exclaimed.

            “Blake, your brother’s right,” Ma agreed.  “She’s convinced you of something impossible, and that’s the real reason she’s here, isn’t it?  Land’s sake, boy!  I was so happy, thinking you’d finally moved on with your life, but it’s the farthest thing from the truth!  You didn’t take her in because you’re dating her, you took her in because you think she’s Adam!”

            _“She is!”_ Blake roared.  “That’s why she’s got to always wear the ring, Adam’s Lifegem, because that’s what’s anchoring his spirit into her body!  But it’s such a weak link, Ma!  If he gets any sort of shock or trauma, or even if something happens where he’s upset and wants to escape, he can pop right back out again!  And Ma, if he comes out of that body, I’ll lose him again!”

            “So that’s why you went so crazy when she fell off of Widowmaker,” Emma realized.

            “And why you went so apeshit on me at the bar last night,” Clyde added.

            “Clyde, you’ve had that coming for a damned long time,” Blake growled.  “But yes, Emma.  If he’d hit his head on that fall, I could have lost him forever!  And I can’t.  I can’t lose him again, alright?”  He fisted his hands and rubbed at his eyes.  “I owe you both an apology.  Adam straightened my head out last night after I carried him down the street like a damned cave man, and boy, did I need it!  I was treating him like he was made of glass.  I was just so damned afraid to lose him.  But I was stifling him!  The way he sang was different than the way he used to, so I never let him do it.  I didn’t realize until last night that Adam will always be a singer no matter what body he’s in.  He just needed to learn how to use the new voice!  And wasn’t he great, Clyde?”

            “That was some good singing, yes,” Clyde said, looking uneasily at the others.

            “That’s how stupid I was!  I tried to stifle that, to keep him exactly as I remembered him being before he died,” Blake explained.  “But the thing about Adam is he’s always doing something new.  I nearly smothered him until I finally got that through my damned thick skull!”

            “Blake?” Emma called.  “What you were doing in Clyde’s jeep in that cornfield last night was certainly something new, but don’t you think it was a bit extreme?”

            Blake felt his face redden.  “That was a mistake,” he admitted.  “Adam’s always been bisexual.  A short while back, he told me that he’d been in love with me for years.  I just didn’t know it.  Now that he’s a woman, well…”  He shrugged.  “I’m awfully glad now that you interrupted us, Emma.  I shouldn’t have…  Listen, God knows I’m attracted to that body he’s in now.  I just gotta make sure, if I do cross that line, that I’m crossing it for the right reasons.  Because the woman who used to own that body isn’t in it anymore.  For as long as he can stay in it, that’s Adam now.  And before I can be with the woman, I gotta consider the man!”

            “Blake?” Carson called gently.  “If Adam asked you for that money, would you give it to him?”

            “If it would get Vince and those Sinner fuckers to leave him alone?” Blake replied.  “Hell yes, I’d give it to him!  I’d give it to him in a heartbeat, or else go down there and deal with them all myself!”

 

            “That’s dangerous!” Gwen warned.  “These people have one hell of a record, including more than one dead body!  If you proved yourself to be any sort of threat, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill you.”

            “Well, I already died once anyway,” Adam grumbled, irritated.

            “Yes, and Blake fell all to pieces!  Adam, he mourned for you like I’ve never seen anyone mourn for anyone else.  Carson and I were having serious talks with Ma Shelton about having him committed for his own safety!”

            “I know, alright?”  Adam sank miserably into her chair.  “I don’t need the guilt trip.  I know how much Blake mourned.”

            “Oh, Adam, I know you didn’t exactly die on purpose,” Gwen sighed.  “And we all mourned for you.  But no one more so than Blake!  So when you came back into his life, what do you think that did to his head?”

            “Honestly, he went a little crazy,” Adam confessed.  “Last night at the bar, he got into a huge fight with his brother.  Then he carried me off down the street!  I seriously think he would have carried me all the way to his house and locked me in that damned room if he thought he could protect me like that!  Fucking Magic Mark!”

            “Um, who now?”

            Adam explained what the psychic had told Blake.

 

            “So this psychic,” Carson was asking.  “Did you go back to him?”

            “I tried, once,” Blake explained.  “His ma told me that he’d gotten a new job, moved to the west coast.  It’s funny, she said he’s in L. A. now.”

            “He’s in Los Angeles?” Clyde asked.  “Where the Sinners are?  And he’s got a new job?”

            “Blake, he was part of the scam!” Emma exclaimed.  “He planted these ideas in your head that Kitty needs protected, and now you’re going to take her back to L. A. and they’ll close the trap!”

            “What would you do if you felt Adam was in danger, Blake?” Carson asked.  His blue eyes were filled with concern as he looked at Blake.  “How far would you be willing to go to protect him?”

            “I would protect Adam with my life,” Blake admitted.  “And I got no way to convince you, do I?  Y’all think I’m crazy, that this is all just one elaborate scheme so the Sinners can get their hands on my money!”

            “Blake, you already gave Adam’s Lifegem to this girl,” Ma pointed out.  “And I never thought I’d live to see the day that you ever took that ring off of your own finger.  Now she knows you’re willing to part with the one thing you value most, getting into your bank accounts is simple!”

 

            “Blake would do anything for you, Adam,” Gwen said quietly.  “Including giving up everything he owns if he thought it would save you, protect you from the Sinners!”

            “Yeah, well, I’ll take care of that!” Adam grumbled.  “Soon as we get back to L. A., I look them up at that strip club where Kitty worked and officially make a clean break.”

            “Do you have any conception of how stupid that is?” Gwen exclaimed.  “If you walk into that strip club and just casually announce that you’re leaving and fuck off, the first thing they’ll do is grab you.  Then they’ll either hurt you, hold you for ransom, or kill you!  Maybe some combination of the three!”

            “Those assholes are not getting one penny of Blake’s money!” Adam snarled.  Her nails were digging into her palms.  She pulled the silly cucumber slices off of her eyes and turned to face Gwen, who was sitting on the edge of the other chair watching her.  “Gwen, there is one thing that I want you to be very clear about, alright?  I love Blake.  I love him like I have never loved anyone, and I’ve loved him for years!  I will not let anyone hurt him, not the Sinners, not Magic Mark, not anyone!  Not even you, Gwen.”

            “Then there is only one thing to do,” Gwen said.  Her voice was quiet again.  “Adam, you cannot stay with Blake.  You’ve got to walk away.”

 

 

            “Seriously?!” Blake exclaimed.  “Carson, you’re going to sit there and tell me I should just cut Adam loose, let him deal with the Sinners on his own?  Have you seen him?  He’s in the body of a woman no bigger than a minute!  Worse, he’s got nothing without me, no home, no job…  Do you think he should go back to stripping for the fucking Sinners?  Is that the plan, Carson?”

            “Blake, listen to me, alright?” Ma called softly.  “This entire time, we’ve all been sitting here listening to you.  And it’s breaking my heart!”

            To Blake’s shock, tears were streaking his mother’s face.  He looked around and saw more tears in Emma’s eyes.  Carson’s eyes were moist.  Even Clyde looked slightly ill.  Blake blinked in confusion.  And then the blood drained out of his face.  “Y’all think I’m crazy, don’t you?” he realized.  “This little meeting here, it’s an intervention!  You’re here to make me go into a mental hospital, aren’t you?”

            “Blake,” Emma began.

            Blake held up a hand.  “I should have fucking known!  Carson’s new, but otherwise, this is the same damned thing as it was when Adam died and y’all tried to talk me into checking myself into the hospital!”

            “The outpatient therapy helped,” Emma insisted.  “You know it did!  But this is worse now, Blake.  You’re delusional, you’re under the spell of a master manipulator, and this time, you need hospitalization.”

            “Blake, your mother and I already spoke to your agent,” Carson confessed.  “We explained the situation, and he agrees.  He’s spoken to your venues, and they’re aware that the tour may be postponed…”

            “Son of a bitch!”

            “Blake!” Ma pleaded.  “We love you, Blake, and I’m sorry, but Adam is gone!  This little gal seems like a real sweetheart.  And you know, I had always considered myself a good judge of character.  I really thought she was good for you, maybe even the one, but it turns out she is only out to hurt you!  And I refuse to let that happen!”

            “What about Adam?” Blake wanted to know.  “What’s Gwen really doing with him now?”

            “What we should have done in the first place,” Carson sighed.  “Gwen’s trying to talk to Kitty, get her to confess on her own and hopefully walk away.  She’s even willing to pay her off for that…”

            “For fuck’s sake!”

            “…But if she doesn’t agree, Blake?” Carson continued.  “Then the police are standing by to arrest her.”

            “What?  No!”  Blake, frantic, looked from face to face.  “You can’t arrest Adam!  He can’t be locked up in jail!  For God’s sake, don’t do this!”

            “Blake!”  Clyde got up, took his brother’s shoulders, and turned Blake to face him.  “What happens to Kitty is largely up to Kitty.  Right now, the only thing we care about is you!”

 

 

            “I believe that you do love Blake,” Gwen said.  “And I think, when this was all over, you might even have chosen to stay with him.  But that’s a problem in and of itself.  Because I talked to Blake, in the car, the day I first met you.  And it’s not just you that believes you’re Adam Levine.  Blake believes it, too.”

            Adam stilled.  “You tricked me,” he realized.  “You pissed me off and I gave myself away, didn’t I?  Dammit, Gwen!  Would you just think, for one moment?  Why is it so hard to believe that maybe, just maybe, I really am who I say I am?”

            “Because it’s not possible.  Adam is dead, and a ring is not going to bring him back!”

            Adam sank back into the chair.  “So was this whole thing just an elaborate trick, then?  Get me out here and then, what, have me arrested?”

            Gwen didn’t answer.

            “For what it’s worth?” Adam said quietly.  “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and Blake.  But he’s going to need you now, Gwen.  Losing me again is going to be…”  She shook her head.

            “His family is at his house with Carson now,” Gwen explained.  “They’re going to try to talk Blake into checking himself into a hospital.  If he doesn’t agree, well, the wheels are already in motion to legally commit him.”

            Her voice hitched, and Adam looked over, surprised to see she was crying.

 

            Blake heard Adam’s voice mail on his new phone pick up and cursed savagely.  “Adam, you gotta get out of there!  They’re trying to arrest you and commit me!  Son of a bitch, they set us up but good!”  He hung up and glared at the four somber faces in his living room.  “I’ll go,” he declared.  “I know damned well that the four of you will force me if I don’t go willingly.  But if I do this, then you gotta drop all charges!  Let Adam go, alright?”

            “We’ll do what we can,” Carson agreed.  “I’ll get her back to L. A. at least, and see if there’s anything I can do to help her with the Sinners.  But Clyde hit the nail on the head.  You’re the one I care about, Blake.  The one we _all_ care about.”

            “Yeah, ain’t that just my luck,” Blake grumbled.  He paced, rubbing at his face, and then turned back to his guests.  “Alright.  Let’s get this over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun only had one thing to say here - "Harsh."


	21. Extra Baggage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam makes a desperate bid to try to see Blake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy more wonderful artwork from Nutcracker! I love that she's illustrating her story, woo hoo!

            Adam walked briskly down the sidewalk.  Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her jeans.  She didn’t think anyone was looking at her, and at any rate there weren’t many people out on a day like this.  The sky, which had been bright and clear when she’d left this morning with Gwen, was now overcast and threatening rain.  It suited her mood perfectly.

            The hospital wasn’t exactly a maximum-security prison.  Gwen had assured her that Blake had checked in of his own free will and was therefore perfectly capable of checking back out.  That meant he wasn’t a prisoner incapable of leaving.  But he was still behind a locked door.  According to Gwen, since he’d come in voluntarily, if Blake insisted on leaving, he would be let out.  But calls would be made, and the first one would be to Blake’s family.  At that point, Blake would have very little time before the process of admitting him involuntarily would begin.  If that succeeded, he really would be a prisoner.  But it would take time, and in that time, Gwen could get both Blake and Adam safely back to L. A.  It was the only hope Adam had.

            Adam had been sitting on a bench under an awning outside of a grocery store, somewhat protected from the weather in case of rain, waiting for Gwen’s call.  Gwen had assured her that she’d arranged things so that Adam could get in to speak to Blake, let them both see the other was alright so they could make their escape.  How the singer had managed that one was beyond Adam.  But Gwen had connections, and she’d apparently used all of them to make this happen.  If Adam could believe her.  If she really was trying to help.

            Adam had no way to be sure.

            When Gwen had told her of the plans for Adam and Blake, Adam had been ready to go to jail.  “I won’t leave him, Gwen,” she’d announced.  “Call the police and let them lock me up if you have to.  But I won’t leave him behind!  At least, if I’m in jail here in Oklahoma, there’s a chance to see Blake!”

            Gwen had indicated the ring on Adam’s finger.  “You can’t wear jewelry in prison.  As soon as you’re arrested, they’ll take that ring from you and lock it up with valuables.  And if you’re telling me the truth, when that happens…?”

            Adam’s gut had clenched in fear.  If the ring was taken from her, she’d be torn out of her body again.  To go back to that darkness, that nothingness where she’d been before?  It terrified her.  Adam shuddered and clutched the ring to her chest.  But even as she did that, she’d glared at Gwen.  “If they take my ring away, I’ll be gone again,” she’d announced.  “And I don’t know if I can come back.  I probably can’t.  And I don’t care!  I’m not leaving Blake, Gwen.  I love him, and the only way I’m leaving him is through force because I won’t go on my own no matter what!  Do you hear me?  I will _not_ leave him!”

            And then suddenly she was in Gwen’s arms.  “Alright, Adam, it’s ok,” she’d soothed.  “I won’t let it happen.  I’m sorry, I just had to know!”

            Adam had stilled.  “Gwen?  You called me…”

            “Adam,” Gwen repeated.  She’d let Adam go a little, pulling back so she could look into Adam’s eyes.  “Only Adam knew about that night.  No one else knew what was said.  You’ve said some things before that you shouldn’t have known, but you could have learned it from other sources, like Carson said.  He never even entertained the thought that you might be who you say you are.  But that night, that party?  There was no way anyone else could have known what I said to you that night.  I believe you.  I don’t know how or why, but it’s really you!  You’re really Adam Levine!”

            A smile curled Adam’s lips at the memory.  The relief at being believed, at having an ally, had been too much.  She’d broken down then in Gwen’s arms, tears streaking the ridiculous mud mask as she’d poured out her heart to her friend.  And Gwen had held her and just listened.  The two of them, wearing only white terrycloth robes with their hair piled into towel turbans, had made a desperate plan to try to free Blake.  And Adam, so happy to finally be believed at last, would have gladly followed Gwen into the gates of Hell itself.

            But when Gwen had texted her and asked her to meet her in the parking garage, Adam wasn’t so sure.

            _You’re right out in the open, and Blake’s family is ready to press charges against you for being a con artist and trying to trick Blake.  There’s nowhere to run if the cops show up to get you, Levine!  You’ll be caught right outside the hospital in the parking garage, trying to get back to him and continue the con!_

            Gwen appeared, walking briskly down the ramp.  She spotted Adam, nodded, and then carefully motioned him forward, hunching over slightly to hide her motion.

            _You’re about to go into a locked mental ward!_ her mind screamed as Adam started forward.  _Now you’ll be arrested for sure.  And even if they don’t arrest you, if you go through that locked door, you’re never getting out again!  They’ll stuff you full of drugs and electroshock therapy and if you ever get out again, you’ll be lucky if you can even wipe your own ass!_

            What choice did she have?  She had to trust Gwen.  There was no other option.  _For Blake._   Adam jogged over and followed Gwen as she led the way through the parking garage.  “It’s a good thing your body is so small,” Gwen remarked, opening the back of the SUV she’d rented.  “It’s about to come in handy!  Come on, into the back.  It’s time to hide you.”

            “What are we doing?” Adam asked, scrambling inside.  Her eyes fell on a large suitcase that filled up a good portion of the back.  Gwen was busy unzipping it, revealing that it was empty.  Then she turned to Adam and grinned.  Adam’s heart fell.  “Oh no!  Come on, Gwen, you gotta be kidding me!”

            “I convinced the hospital staff to let me bring some of Blake’s belongings,” Gwen explained.  “I had to promise that none of the contraband items would be included, but they’re going to let me.  Normally, they’d search these, checking for things.  But the charge nurse up there is a fan of mine.  I batted my eyes and promised I’d go out here and check, and he said he’d let me bring this in.  Can you believe those patients aren’t allowed to have shoe laces?  Metal objects, belts, that sort of thing I can understand not letting a mental patient have, but shoe laces?”

            “Gwen, you’re not seriously going to put me into that suitcase, are you?” Adam pleaded.

            Gwen sighed.  “Do you have a better idea, Adam?  Come on, get in so I can zip you up!”

            Adam eyed the suitcase.  “It’s tiny!”

            “So are you!  Come on, in you go!”

            Adam made a small noise of protest.  She started climbing in, and then paused.  “Are you sure there’s no other way to do this?”

            Gwen shook her head.  “Just think good thoughts Adam.”

            “Right now, all I can think about is that I’m about to be zipped inside of a suitcase!”

            “Just think about something else!  I meant to ask you before.  What happened to your shirt?”

            Adam looked down at her exposed midriff and grimaced.  “I never did my own laundry before, ok?” she snapped.  “I may have overloaded the machine.  Who cares, we were going out for a spa day!”

            “The whole bottom hem is torn off!” Gwen noted.  “Good thing you’ve got such a good figure.  And I bet it would really piss off Emma and Clyde if you were out on the town wearing that, wouldn’t it?”

            Adam grinned.  Then she looked at the suitcase again and grimaced.  “Blake better appreciate this,” she warned.

            “I’m sure he will.  Now get in!”

            Adam reluctantly climbed in.  The suitcase was huge, but even with her small size, Adam was forced to curl into a small ball with her knees pressed against her chest.  When Gwen pulled the top over her, she was suddenly stifling.  “I’m gonna suffocate in here!” she complained.

            “Adam, do you want to get in to see Blake or not?” Gwen said unsympathetically.  She zipped the suitcase closed and then grunted as she dragged it forward.

            Adam suddenly felt herself falling and yelped when the suitcase came to an abrupt landing on the pavement.  “Hey!  Watch it!”

            “Dammit, Adam, be quiet!” Gwen hissed.  “You try lugging this thing with someone inside of it!”

            “I’ll trade you any day!”

            “Just hush.  No matter what happens, you have got to be quiet!  And for God’s sake, hold still!”

            “Just hurry up so you can let me out!”

            “Adam, _shush!”_

            Adam went silent.  She tried hard not to wiggle, but between how cramped she was and the uncomfortable bumping of the suitcase as Gwen towed it back into the hospital, there was no comfortable position.  She reached with tentative fingers towards the zipper.  That was a mistake.  As soon as she confirmed she couldn’t get to the zipper, her heart started pounding.  Adam had never felt claustrophobic before.  Now, trapped in this tiny space, she wanted to start screaming, begging for Gwen to let her out.  “G-Gwen?” she whimpered.

            “Adam, please, shush!” Gwen whispered.  “It’s a good thing there’s no one in this elevator!  If you want to see Blake, you _must_ be quiet!”

            She was right, of course.  Adam closed her eyes.  _For Blake,_ she urged.  She forced herself to slow her breathing.  _I can do this.  For Blake!_

            Somehow, she managed to keep it together.  The suitcase bumped once as Gwen pulled it into the lobby.  Then the ride smoothed out.  Gwen greeted someone cheerfully, but thankfully explained that she didn’t have time to talk.  Good.  Adam needed to get out of this thing as soon as she could.  Another big bump, then a dinging, and a sensation of rising.  The elevator.  Bumping back out of the elevator and rolling down the hall.

            “Gwen Steffani, here to see Blake Shelton?” Gwen said pleasantly.  “I talked to Nick earlier, he knows I’m coming back with items for Blake.”

            “Sure, come right in,” called a cheerful female voice.  There was a buzzing sound, and the sound of a door opening.  The suitcase rolled forward.  “If you want to just wait here, I can check this suitcase.  We need to make sure there’s no items inside of it that our patients might use to harm themselves or others.”

            Adam froze.

            Gwen laughed, sounding entirely natural.  “Oh, Nick already gave me the list,” she explained.  “That’s what I was just taking care of.  I went through it in the car and took out everything that was on it.  I was surprised about the shoe laces, though.”

            “Some of our patients, unfortunately, get very creative.  And I’m sorry, Miss Stefani, but it’s policy.  I really need to check this.”

            “Really?  Where’s Nick, I told him that I don’t have much time and I really wanted to talk to Blake a bit before I had to leave.”  Adam was impressed with how calm Gwen kept her voice.  For her part, Adam was struggling not to panic.  As soon as this nurse opened the suitcase, it was all over!

            “Nick is…  Oh, here he is now.  Nick!”

            “Hey!  Miss Stefani, you’re back!”  An eager male voice was coming closer.

            Gwen giggled.  “I took that list and went back through the stuff I’m bringing for Blake.  Shoe laces gone!  But like I said earlier, I’m kind of pressed for time, Nick.  Do I really have to wait while you go through all this stuff again?”

            “Well, normally policy would say yes,” Nick said, uncertain.  “But that suitcase looks pretty full.”

            “Oh, you wouldn’t believe it!” Gwen sighed.  “I had such a time dragging it in here, it was like dragging a dead body!”

            _I’ll get you for that, Gwen,_ Adam vowed.

            But the nurses were laughing.  “Alright, go ahead and visit with him.  But you should know, he got pretty upset shortly after he got here and we ended up giving him something to help him relax.”

            “What do you mean?”  Gwen’s voice, perfect as an award-winning actress until now, suddenly showed a bit of strain.

            “Oh, don’t worry, it’s not like we had to hold him down and inject him,” Nick assured.  “Apparently his brother said something to upset him and they started yelling at each other, so we asked Clyde to leave and gave Blake a sedative in pill form.  He seemed upset, but he took it, and didn’t even complain or argue.  So he’ll be a little drowsy by now, and before too long he’ll be sleeping like a baby.”

            “I see.”  Gwen’s voice sounded high-pitched to Adam’s ears, and she couldn’t blame her.  A cold knot of fear had settled in Adam’s chest.  If Blake was sedated, would he still be able to insist on being released and calling the cops off of Adam?

            “He should still be able to talk with you,” Nick assured.  “He just took it a little bit ago, so it hasn’t had time to really work yet.  He’s just going to be a bit sleepy and you might have to encourage him to stay awake.  But you’re only going to be for a short time and then he can sleep, right?”

            “Of course.  Alright, I’ll make it quick then.”

            “This way!”

            Adam forced herself to keep perfectly still in the suitcase as Gwen wheeled it down the hall.  Gwen thanked Nick, there was the sound of a door closing, and against all odds, Adam had made it into Blake’s room.

            “Blake?”  Gwen’s voice sounded concerned.  “Blake, wake up, honey, it’s Gwen!”

            “Gwen?”

            Blake’s voice was definitely sleepy, but it served to energize Adam.  She squirmed frantically, trying to get the zipper opened.

            Meanwhile, Gwen was still trying to rouse Blake, encouraging him to sit up.  “I have something for you,” she told him.

            “Whatever it is, I don’t want it,” Blake grumbled.  “Just let me sleep, Gwen.  If I’m lucky, I can sleep the whole way through this nightmare.  My fucking brother is having them arrest Adam even though I checked myself in!  Emma’s arguing with him, and hopefully she’ll get Ma involved, but meanwhile Adam’s…”

            “I’m right here!” Adam called.  “Let me out!”

            “Adam is here,” Gwen soothed.  “I brought her here to you, Blake.  She’s in the suitcase!”

            “Huh?”

            Adam pounded on the lid of the suitcase.  “Dammit, let me _out!”_

            _“Adam!”_

            The next thing Adam knew, the suitcase had been dumped over on its side and the opening was being rapidly unzipped.  Then she found herself lifted out and into a set of strong, trembling arms.  “Adam!  I thought you were gone, that you’d have to either go to jail or back to L. A.!  And if you went to jail, they’d take the ring off of you, and if you went to L. A. the fucking Sinners…!”

            “I’m ok, Big Country!” Adam squeaked.  “Just let me breathe, ok?”

            Blake let her down, but didn’t let go.  The big man looked awful.  Dark circles were under his eyes, his hair was a mess, and the sedative that he’d received was obviously taking effect.  The sleepy blue eyes were glazed as they looked down at Adam.  But Blake’s smile dominated his face.  It faltered once when his drugged brain realized something, and the blue eyes turned to regard Gwen.  “You called him Adam?  You believe him, Gwen?”

            “Yes,” Gwen replied without hesitation.  “I know it’s Adam, Blake.  And that’s why I knew she wouldn’t just be content with staying behind and it’s the only reason I risked bringing her here!  Now help me get her back into the suitcase so we can check you out of here.”

            “What?  Aw, come on!” Adam groaned.  “Don’t shut me in there again!”

            “It’s the only way to get you out of here, so in you go,” Gwen ordered.  “Blake, grab your stuff, and try to stay awake.  We’re leaving.”

            Blake let Adam go and stumbled around the room, collecting items.  “Where we going, Gwen?  What’s your plan?”

            “L. A.,” Gwen declared, pushing a reluctant Adam back into the suitcase.  “The only way you’re going to be able to keep them from locking you up is by proving you’re not in any danger.  And you do that by working!  Now, you have that awards ceremony coming up where you’re presenting an award, followed by the party.  And then you have three more engagements!  I called your agent on the way over and he’s cancelled your cancellation…”

            “Man must be so confused!” Blake declared.

            “…And now you need to be at your best,” Gwen urged.  “You have to show that you’re fine, Blake, that you’re not under any sort of delusion or influence.  Because your family is listening to Carson right now, and Carson is already taking steps to have you involuntarily committed.  If we can’t convince him and your family, Blake?  You’re going to be locked back up in a place just like this!”  She gestured and pointed to the suitcase, where Adam had once again squeezed herself into a ball.

            “Oh, you must be joking!” Adam yelped, seeing Blake approach with a handful of items.

            “Just packing my suitcase,” Blake declared.  He cheerfully packed the items around Adam.  Then he pulled the top closed and zipped it up.

            “I will get you for this, Shelton!” Adam warned from inside the suitcase.  “You are going down!”

            “Promises, promises.”

            Gwen chuckled.  “Can you even walk?”

            “I’ll manage.  Alright, let’s get me checked out!”

****

            “I,” Adam declared, “am going to kill this man.”

            “The joke about putting you on a diet so you’d qualify as carry-on was a bit much,” Gwen admitted.

            “You laughed!” Adam accused.

            “It was funny!”

            “Oh, ha ha.  And I still say you two could have let me out once we were back in the parking lot.  You left me in that suitcase way too long!”

            “We had to be sure, Adam,” Gwen insisted.  “We got away with putting you in that suitcase in the parking lot the first time, but people were following us and watching when we left, hoping we’d either change our minds.  And Blake really didn’t mean to drop you into the back so hard…”

            “Sure, he didn’t,” Adam grumbled.

            “Give him a break, Adam!  He was sedated!  I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did!”  Gwen’s dark eyes moved fondly to Blake.  Blake was reclined in his chair in the first-class passenger cabin with his eyes closed.  His mouth was slightly opened.  Soft snores rumbled.

            Adam was curled up next to him in her seat.  Once more, she was clinging to his arm.  This time, though, she was less afraid of the experience of flying in a plane.  Now she simply wanted confirmation.  Blake was out, but he was free.  He was here, with her, and Gwen was helping them now.  Carson would come around, Adam believed.  Even though it was to her and Blake’s detriment, all he was doing was trying to protect Blake.  It was sweet, even though it was wrong.  But Carson, and the Sinners, would come later.

            Adam reached out her hand and gently stroked Blake’s cheek.  He didn’t stir.  The sedative was apparently strong.  Adam just hoped that the big man would be able to wake up enough in a couple of hours to be able to walk off of the plane.

            “You really do love him, don’t you, Adam?”

            “I’ve loved him for years.  I never stopped.  And I died regretting that I never told him.”  Adam’s eyes were fixed on Blake’s face.  “We talked about unfinished business, something that might have held me to this world after I died?  And I think it was him.  That I didn’t pass on to heaven because I died regretting that I’d never told him.  He never knew how I felt.”

            “Does he know now?”  Gwen’s dark eyes were serious.

            Adam nodded.  “I told him pretty early on.  And the next morning, I woke up and found him sitting in my room.  He’d been so afraid that I’d somehow die again during the night that he’d sat up all night long next to my bed, watching me.  I couldn’t believe, I mean, I’m not worth that level of dedication, Gwen!  And he went a little crazy, to be honest.  He was so worried about losing me again that it caused a huge fight between us.”

            “Let me guess.  That’s somehow the reason you ended up doing a burlesque dance in Tony’s Tonk?” 

            Adam cleared her throat and didn’t answer.

            Gwen laughed softly.  “Death hasn’t changed you a bit, has it, Adam Levine?  You’re still the same stubborn shit you always were, and you’re still letting your emotions and your temper drive you.  It’s what made you a great artist, but honestly!  I don’t know how Blake has kept from choking you at least half a dozen times!”

            “Yeah, well, I’ve wanted to choke him a few times myself,” Adam grumbled.  “He’s such a big dumb oaf!  I had to flat-out tell him how I felt about him, Gwen.  He never had a clue!”

            “You know, you’re both just a bit dim, to be honest.”

            Adam blinked.  “Huh?”

            “Blake absolutely went to pieces when he lost you,” she pointed out.  “The reason that Carson is acting the way he does is that, shortly after you died, Blake really shut down.  He wasn’t actively suicidal, but he just sort of, well, stopped.  Stopped going out, stopped taking care of himself.  And then he stopped eating.  It was awful, Adam.  We’d already lost you, and we very nearly lost Blake, too!  Carson was there for Blake’s family, and he never really left.  He loves Blake like a brother.  He’d do anything for him.”

            “Yeah.”  Adam shifted uncomfortably.

            “The thing is, Blake went to a terrible place after he lost you.  He even said it felt like part of him had died with you in that crash.  Don’t you get it?  Don’t you understand what you really mean to him?”

            Adam looked again at Blake.  “I know he loved me, but it wasn’t the way I loved him.  He was never interested in me, not like that.”

            “Blake isn’t gay, Adam,” Gwen said.  Her voice was low, even though the only other passengers in the first-class cabin were some distance away.  “He’s an Oklahoma hick, born and raised.  He’s fine with homosexuals, and your sexual orientation never made him bat an eye.  But he couldn’t even entertain the notion that he might potentially feel sexually attracted to another man!  Even if you’d told him how you really felt, you couldn’t have been with him before.  But now?  Adam, you’re a woman now.  Have you considered…?”

            “More than considered.  We damned near did it in a corn field after that night in the honky tonk,” Adam confessed.  “If his sister hadn’t spotted us and thought we’d crashed, I’d no longer be a blushing vaginal virgin!  But what Blake said afterwards was right.  It was good we got interrupted.  We were about to do something that he absolutely wasn’t ready to deal with.  And maybe I wasn’t ready to deal with it, either.”  She indicated her body.  “I’m getting used to this.  I actually think of myself as a woman now, even though I know exactly who I am.  And I still love Blake.  I’d like to be with him, as a woman.  And this is how good of a man he is, Gwen.  That night, I was ready to go further, but he refused.  He walked away from me even though we both wanted it.  Because he didn’t want to just have me for my body!  I think, that night, he really saw me for the first time.  I think he’s maybe even open now to the idea of a relationship.  But he needs to get to know me, who I am now, before he can do that.  Can you imagine the strength it must have taken to do that, to walk away?”  Adam’s eyes softened as she looked at Blake.  Once again, she reached up a hand to stroke his face. 

            Blake shifted slightly.  He made a small sound and turned his head a little towards her hand.  But he didn’t wake up.  The sedative had taken him deep.  Adam smirked.  She could do anything to him right now, and he wouldn’t even know.  She glanced at Gwen.  The other woman’s attention was on the window, oblivious to anything Adam might do.  Adam’s smile softened.  She gently kissed his cheek.  Then she leaned her head against his shoulder and clung to his arm.  It was enough.  Adam would never actually touch Blake without his knowledge or consent.  Still, the thought had been tempting.

            Gwen was silent in her seat.  She crooked her index finger and was tapping it on her chin thoughtfully, watching out her window.  “Adam,” she called, “do you still have that red dress that I bought you?”

            “I actually left it at Blake’s place in L. A.,” Adam confessed.

            “Good.  Because I think I might be able to help you, if you’re willing to trust me?”

            Adam smiled at her.  “Right now, I’d trust you with my life.  Thank you, Gwen.  For everything!”

            Gwen smiled in pleasure.  “Of course.  And don’t worry.  Let me deal with Carson and Blake’s family when we land, alright?  You just get Blake home safe and let him sleep this off.  Then I’ll come get you tomorrow morning and take you out, get you ready for the party after the awards ceremony.  Blake can survive doing that solo!”

            Adam eyed her.  “Gwen?  What are you going to do to me?”

            Gwen’s grin widened mischievously.  “Oh, Adam, girlfriend, I am going to get you set up!” she declared.  “By the time Blake sees you, he won’t know what hit him.  And you are going to knock him off of his feet!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun says that was hilarious, putting Adam in the suitcase. Favorite part so far! "I love it when they do silly things like that to Adam because it’s so funny and he throws such a fit!"


	22. The Lady In Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen plays matchmaker. Blake goes to an awards ceremony. And Adam learns to walk in heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diagetic music here is "The Lady In Red" by Chris De Burgh  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hy0pZ_JvL4k

            Blake had no clear memory of getting back to his home in L. A.  He remembered Gwen speaking calmly but firmly on his telephone for some time while Adam got him into bed and fussed over him.  But most of it was hazy, clouded by the powerful sedative he’d been given.  He’d awakened with Adam, still dressed, pressed tight against his side in the bed with him.  His tiny form was tucked under Blake’s arm, sound asleep with his head on Blake’s shoulder.  For a time, Blake simply stayed where he was, just fondly watching Adam as he slept.  It was hard to believe, after everything that had happened yesterday, that he was still here.  Adam’s lips were slightly parted, his soft breaths warm against Blake’s skin.  Blake’s heart felt full.  He wanted, oh how he wanted, to press a kiss to those lips, to see those eyes open and look at him.  To see that sweet, gentle soul looking out at him.  But Adam had gone through a lot, risked everything to try to help Blake.  He deserved to rest.

            When Blake managed to carefully slip away, miraculously without waking Adam, and headed downstairs, Gwen was still there.  She’d fallen asleep on the couch, her blonde hair a mess, trailing over the end of it and the phone still clutched in her hand.  Blake shook his head and gently kissed her forehead.

            She hummed, her dark eyes opening and focusing on Blake.  A smile curved her lips.  “Hey Blakey,” she called.  “I think I’ve managed to call off the dogs.  At least your mother reined in your brother and Carson agreed to wait before pushing ahead with the involuntary committal thing.  They’re going to be coming out in a few days, and the three of us need to convince them of who Adam really is.  But for now, she’s safe, and so are you.”

            “I can’t thank you enough,” Blake told her humbly.  “I know they were only doing what they thought was best, and in their place, I may have done the same thing.  Hell, I never would have even put that ring back on her finger if I hadn’t been half crazy, right?  And after the way I was…”

            “You gave us all a lot of sleepless nights, Blake,” Gwen admitted.  She rose and stretched the kinks out of her body, wincing as her joints popped.  “You’re going to have your work cut out for you, gorgeous.  Your mom is willing to consider the idea because I’m vouching for you both, and surprisingly, Clyde’s the same way.  Carson’s afraid to argue with me because I told him if he did anything against you or Adam before you had a chance to talk to everyone, I never wanted to see him again.  But your sister?”  She grimaced.  “I may have just lost a friend, Blake.  Emma said some things I won’t repeat, let’s put it that way.”

            “Aw, hell, I’m sorry, Gwen,” Blake groaned.

            Gwen waved a hand.  “She’s your big sister, Blake.  That makes her kind of your second mom.  She gets a pass on a few things here.”

            Adam emerged a short time later.  Once everyone was awake, cleaned up and full of breakfast, Gwen had whisked Adam away for another blasted shopping trip.  At least this time, they hadn’t come back with bags and bags of stuff.  In fact, they only had a few small bags.  Blake considered that a small blessing.  But of all the things for the two to buy, why make-up, jewelry, and, based on the shoe box under Adam’s arm, yet another pair of shoes?  The way they were acting was beyond suspicious.  The sly looks and mischievous grins were bad enough.  Then came the whispers and giggles just out of Blake’s hearing.  Then the two actually started texting each other when they were both in the same room.  And no matter how many times Blake asked, they wouldn’t tell him what the joke was.  That could mean only one thing – whatever the joke was, he was the butt of it.

            It was official.  Gwen and Adam were definitely up to something.

            Then the two went to Adam’s room, and Blake was startled to hear a thud followed by swearing.  He ran into the room to find Adam sprawled on the floor, rubbing his hip.  On his tiny feet were a pair of ruby red stiletto-heeled shoes.

            “You need to take smaller steps,” Gwen was explaining as she helped Adam up.  “Small, slow steps.”

            “Adam, what the hell are you doing?” Blake asked.

            “I’m learning to knit,” Adam informed him.  “Would you like a new sweater, Blake?  What does it look like I’m doing, jackass?  Gwen’s teaching me to walk in these stupid heels!”

            “What for?” Blake wanted to know.

            “Because it’s a skill every woman needs to have,” Gwen declared.  She steadied Adam as he wobbled.  “Now remember, your weight is on your toes, but let your foot rest into the shoe.”

            “Like this?”

            “Yes, now take a few steps…  There you are!  The rest is just practice, but don’t overdo it.  You’ll get blisters.”

            “I don’t know.”  Adam took a few more tentative steps, his eyes on his feet.  “I think maybe those calluses you complained about when you took me for that pedicure came about because Kitty wore these stupid things a lot.  The calluses seem to be where most of my weight goes in these shoes.”

            Gwen shrugged.  “It’s possible.  She was an exotic dancer, maybe she danced in heels?”

            “Adam, please do not tell me that you’re planning to dance again, and in heels this time?” Blake pleaded.

            Adam smiled sweetly at him.  “This room is reserved for people possessing of vaginas only.  No dicks allowed.  Fuck off, Shelton.”

            “Blakey, she doesn’t need you staring at her while she’s trying to learn this, alright?” Gwen soothed when Blake sputtered.  She turned him around and gently steered him out into the hall.  “You’re presenting an award tonight, right?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Then go get ready!  Shave, shine your shoes, pick out your tie, whatever guys do to get ready for these things.  And leave Adam with me, alright?”

            Blake checked his watch.  Gwen had been out most of the day with Adam.  He hadn’t realized how late it was getting.  “Well, get out of those damned heels, Adam.  You’ll have to get ready, too.”

            “I’m not coming to the awards show,” Adam announced, still focusing on his feet and his tentative steps.

            Blake blinked.  “You’re not?  You don’t want to come with me?”

            “Not this time.”  Adam finally looked up and smiled.  “Listen, big guy, why don’t you go do this yourself?  Show your face, be your usual charming self without me to draw attention away from you.  And Gwen and I will meet you at the party afterward!  You’ll have two pieces of blonde eye candy to show off at this party.  Gwen’s going to fix me up!”

            “Fix you up?”  Blake did not like the sound of that.  He frowned, narrowing his eyes at Gwen.  “That’s what all the make-up was for?  Dammit, Gwen, Adam doesn’t want to be all dolled up, ok?  You can’t make him look too feminine or he’ll be uncomfortable!”

            Gwen gave him a flat stare.  “Blake?  Adam is a beautiful young woman now!”

            “But he’s still Adam on the inside!” Blake pointed out.

            “And I’m standing right here, remember?” Adam reminded.  “Blake, if you want me to stay with you, you need to stop dictating what I do and don’t want, alright?  Because I’m wearing a dress to this party, and, if I can learn how to walk in them well enough, these shoes!”

            _“What?!”_   Blake shook his head.  “Adam, you…!  I…  Ugh, I swear, if you go there and freak because everyone’s staring at you in a dress…?”

            “Blake, I cut most of my clothes off and danced in front of a honky tonk filled with drunk horny men,” Adam declared.  “I think I can handle a few music industry perverts eyeing me up.” 

            “But it’s different now!” Blake protested.  “You’re just this tiny little girl, and you know how some of those assholes are!  What if…?”

            “Blake?”  Adam smiled, teetered over to Blake, and hugged him tightly.  “Blake, in my old body, I had men and women eyeing me up and more.  I never told you how many times I got propositioned, or how many drunks of both sex grabbed me or groped me or tried to pull me into a room or a car…”

            “Maybe not helping, Adam?” Gwen suggested, seeing the blood drain from Blake’s face.

            “My point is, I’ll be ok,” Adam declared.  “I know how to handle shit like that.  And besides!”  He gently put his hand on Blake’s chest.  His smile turned shy.  “I’ve got this big strong knight in shining armor looking out for me.  Because you’re mine, Blake Shelton.  Maybe not… the way I wish you were mine.  And it was probably wrong of me to climb in bed with you last night, but I needed to prove to myself you were alright.”  He shrugged.  “Besides, turnaround’s fair play, right?”

            Blake chuckled.  “I guess so?”

            “Anyway,” Adam said, ducking his head and stepping away from Blake, “my point is, even when I’m not worried about you because you’re drugged out of your mind, I’d still be happy to see you every morning for the rest of my life.”

            That touched Blake.  “So, you’re really not skipping out on the awards ceremony because you’re mad at me?” he asked hopefully.

            “No!” Adam laughed.  “Blake, I’m not mad at you at all.  Ok, I still owe you a couple for packing shit into that suitcase with me and the carry-on comment, but that’s different.  If you’re asking about the other night?  No.  I’m not mad.  Not anymore.  It needed to happen, Blake.  We got a lot out in the open that night that had been brewing for a while.  And now, I think we’re both better off.”

            Blake hesitated, and then took a deep breath.  “Stay with me, Adam,” he pleaded.  “I know I just proved I’ve still got a long way to go when it comes to giving you room to grow and change, to be who you are now.  But I’ll try my damnedest.  And I promise I’ll back off when you tell me!”

            Adam smiled.  He stepped closer again.  Then his arms went up and encircled Blake’s neck.  The green eyes were shining as he looked up at him.  “You drive me insane, Big Country,” he declared.  “But if I came back for anything, I came back for you.  I’ll stay with you for as long as you’ll have me.  Alright?”

            Blake suddenly had trouble speaking around the lump in his throat.  Then a soft cough reminded him that they weren’t alone in the room.  He turned and blinked at Gwen.

            “I can step out, if you move out of the door?” Gwen suggested.

            Adam blushed to the roots of his hair.  “I think maybe Blake should go get ready for his ceremony,” he declared.

            “Right!”  Blake quickly headed out.  He paused, frowning at the sound of girlish giggling coming from the room once the door closed.  Then he shook his head and headed for the shower.

            But while he shaved, he spent more time looking himself in the eye than he did tending to his stubble.  Something had changed in his relationship with Adam.  Blake knew that.  What puzzled him was what, exactly, it was.  He stared hard into his own mirrored eyes, letting himself puzzle over it.  It wasn’t something new, or something that had been added to his relationship with his friend.  No, it was something less, something that had been taken away.  Whatever it was that was missing now, Blake actually felt better because of it.  Yes, that was it.  He felt less tense.  For whatever reason, any time he’d been with Adam, there had always been this unacknowledged, unresolved tension in Blake.  That had even been present before Adam had died.  No, that wasn’t right.  It was _worse_ before Adam had died.  Now, it was actually _better._   That puzzled Blake.  Always before, his joy at having Adam back was overshadowed by a bitterness.  Adam could never go back to what he was.  That meant that, whenever Blake thought about his best friend and compared how Adam was before he died to how he was now, the current version was always inferior.  So what was this?  What one thing was there about Adam now that hadn’t been present before he’d died, that somehow made spending time with his friend better?

            Blake didn’t know.  It felt like the answer should be staring him straight in the face, just as his reflection was doing now.  But try as he might, Blake couldn’t put his finger on it.

****

            Adam’s heart pounded.  She stepped carefully in the stiletto heels, keeping close to Gwen as the blond led her through the crowd.  Heads were turning everywhere they went.  Over and over, people came up to Gwen, asking who her “lovely friend” was.  Adam had seen the recognition in most of their faces when Gwen introduced her as Kitty Miller.  She’d expected that.  She’d been prepared for rejection, possibly some rude comments.  But while she did see some smiles turn strained, especially among the women she’d been introduced to, Adam was surprised to see that most of the people she met kept right on smiling, or, in some cases, smiled even wider.  Then came a bigger surprise when, time and again, men came up to Adam and tried to engage her in conversation or ask her to dance.  When she’d been a man, she’d never considered herself much of a “player,” but she still knew a pick-up line and transparent attempts to impress her or get her attention when she encountered them.  The fact that she was encountering them at all, much less the deluge she was getting now, shocked her.  And the women, those who hadn’t made an excuse to walk away once they realized who she was, shocked her even more.  Over and over, Adam found herself being told about how strong she was, how great it was that she wasn’t ashamed of her past and was actually embracing it.  She had, Adam was told, struck a real blow against misogyny by not being afraid to show her power.  She’d faced down someone trying to slut shame her and had thrown it right back into his face, and good for her!

            It was too much, and more than Adam could stand.  Finally, she grabbed Gwen’s arm and made a beeline for the restroom.

            “Gwen, what is going on?” she hissed.  “Why are all those guys hitting on me?”

            In answer, Gwen took her shoulders and turned her to face the mirror.  “Why?  That’s why!  You’re the hottest thing at this party, girl!”

            Adam had to admit she did look nice.  “Ok, yeah, I guess I would hit on me,” she admitted.  “But what about all those women saying I struck a blow for women’s rights?”

            “You did,” Gwen told her.  “From what I understand, Clyde tried to slut shame you.  That happens to women and girls all over the world on a daily basis, Adam.  You could have let it break you, but instead, you embraced that aspect of Kitty’s past.  When you went out on that stage, you told the whole world, ‘Hey, this is me, and this is the choice I made.  This is what I did to survive, and I’m strong enough that it hasn’t broken me.’  Adam, that’s huge.  While there is a certain segment of the population that feels you should be ashamed to have been in the sex business, you refused to be victimized.  You stood up to Clyde.”

            “I wasn’t about to let that bastard beat me,” Adam growled.  “But there probably could have been a better way to do that.”

            “Getting Blake dragged on stage and then making out with him the way you did wasn’t great for his image, I’ll admit that,” Gwen said.  “But Blake is standing up for you, too.  My agent tells me he got asked when he went into that awards ceremony today how it felt to be dating a stripper.”

            Adam winced.  “What did he say?”

            “That strippers need love too.”  Gwen smiled.  “He also said that he was with you because you’re you, not because you used to be an exotic dancer, and that neither of you was in any way ashamed of your past.  Without even talking about it, Blake’s enforcing the message you’re sending.  Adam, you’re embracing your sexuality more than a lot of women who were born women, do you know that?  You’re not the least bit ashamed to be exactly who and what you are!”

            “No, I’m not, and I never have been,” Adam conceded.  “This is still weird, though.  I feel like of exposed, vulnerable.  Blake was right, this is different now.”  She paused.  “Don’t you dare tell him I said that!”

            “My lips are sealed.”  Gwen put an arm around her shoulders.  “Just stick with me, alright?  Now, the awards ceremony should be done by now.  What do you say we go find Blake, and let you work a bit of that sex appeal on the one area you need it the most?”

            Adam blushed.  “Gwen, do you really think, I mean, Blake and I, do you think…?”

            “I think that people look for a lot of the same qualities in a lover that they do in a friend,” Gwen told her.  “Blake already loves you, Adam.  Now it’s up to the two of you to decide if he’s ready for the next step.”  She hugged Adam.  “Alright.  Let me get you through this crowd.  Then you go, girl!”

****

            “Holy shit, Shelton, check out the fox in red!  Isn’t that your Kitty?”

            Blake startled.  For a moment, he blinked at the other man he’d been chatting to, not comprehending what he’d said.  But then he turned and saw what he was looking at.

            There was Gwen, dressed in a black sheath dress that showed off her figure.  She looked stunning, as usual.  But the attention of the room was focused like a laser on the petite blonde in red that had come in with her.

            Blake hadn’t known what to expect.  He’d known Adam was with Gwen, who was going to “pretty him up” in some fashion.  He’d been braced to see something feminine, a dress and heels instead of the usual t-shirt, jeans, and motorcycle boots or even the nice pantsuit Adam had worn when he’d gone with Blake to his last interview.  But Blake hadn’t been prepared for this.

            The woman in red turned every head as she walked into the room.  The high-heeled red shoes he’d seen Adam stumbling around in this morning were on.  Adam’s natural grace was apparent, their owner balancing expertly now.  Above that, a set of pale, slender legs rose, going up until they vanished just above the knee beneath the red hem of her dress.  The skirt of the dress consisted of a red sheath covered by red lace, with red sequins that flashed with movement.  A daring slit in one side revealed even more of the thigh.  Then, above the waist, the dress partly disappeared, moving into a strip of material that displayed Adam’s sides and part of the abdomen until it spread to the bust.  The dress was strapless, the material moving up from the bust to join behind the neck.  It showed a lot of leg, a lot of skin, and just enough cleavage.  The short blonde hair was expertly styled back.  The new make-up had been carefully applied so that it enhanced Adam’s catlike appearance, bringing out the emerald green eyes.  The full lips had been colored the same red as the dress and glistened in the light.  Adam had never shown any interest in make-up before.  This must have been Gwen’s doing.  But Gwen had done a fantastic job.  The woman approaching Blake now looked absolutely stunning, and Blake could scarcely breathe.  At a Hollywood party, beautiful women were a dime a dozen.  But something was different about this one that drew every eye.  Perhaps it was simply the fact she was a new face.  Or her admittedly-scandalous past.  Or even that the recent activity in Oklahoma had finally made its way to the west coast and everyone wanted to see what the fuss was about.  But no, it was none of those.  She somehow stood out in a room full of beautiful people as if surrounded by a nimbus of light.  When Gwen gave her a little push and she started towards him, Blake couldn’t tear his eyes away.

            She drew a lot of attention as she approached.  Blake saw several people, some of them very famous celebrities, approach her for a dance.  But she politely declined.  Her green eyes were locked on Blake.  She came up to him and paused, looking shyly up at him through her thick lashes.  “I feel a little weird,” she confessed.  “But what do you think?”

            Blake couldn’t answer.  His face, however, must have spoken volumes because she blushed prettily.

            Gwen had made her way up to the DJ.  Blake was vaguely aware of her speaking to him.  Then the music moved into a slow song.  Adam rolled her eyes.  “There she goes,” she groaned.  “Real subtle, Gwen.  I think we’re supposed to dance now, Blake.  Sorry.”

            “It’s fine.”   Acting on instinct, Blake reached for her hand and drew her out to the dance floor.  Adam, he noticed again, had gotten good on the high heels.  She followed confidently until Blake stopped and took her into his arms to dance.

_I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight.  I've never seen you shine so bright!  I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance.  They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance!  And I have never seen that dress you're wearing, or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes.  I have been blind!_

_The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek.  There's nobody here, it's just you and me.  It's where I want to be!  But I hardly know this beauty by my side!  I'll never forget the way you look tonight._

            Adam was pressed up against his chest.  One hand held tight to Blake’s.  The other draped over his shoulder, her hand resting across the back of his neck.  Blake inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of styling product, a hint of perfume, soap, and, beneath it all, the woman’s scent.  It was Kitty’s, of course, but somehow, it was Adam’s as well.  Adam’s scent again.  Was he imagining it?  Could he really detect this physical presence of the man inside the body of this beautiful woman?

            Did it really matter?  He knew this was Adam.  Adam, who had told Blake she desired him.  Adam, here, pressed against his chest now as they danced, moving to the music.  In the middle of the crowded dancefloor, it was somehow still just Blake and Adam.

            _I really have been blind, haven’t I?_ Blake thought, holding her close. _I knew she was attractive, but this is amazing!  A guy could…  He could…_

            And then suddenly, Blake understood what the tension had been, the reason he’d felt it for so long when he’d been with Adam.

_I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight.  I've never seen you shine so bright!  You were amazing!  I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side, and when you turned to me and smiled?  It took my breath away!  I have never had such a feeling, such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight!_

            Blake’s heart was pounding.  Adam had to hear it, pressed against his chest as she was, but she seemed content.  Her eyes were half-closed as she turned gently where Blake led her, a small smile on her face.  In some other universe, flashbulbs were going off and people were laughing and chatting.  But for Blake, there was only this moment, the music, and the woman in his arms. 

            Adam.  His Adam.  His silly, infuriating, sweet, gentle, loving Adam.

            For so long now, Adam had been his friend, his confidant.  Adam was the guy who was there for him during his divorce, the one who could always make Blake smile or laugh no matter how dark things got.  Adam was his rock, the one who would never let him down.  The one who had always stood at his side.  And then suddenly, Adam was gone, and the bottom had fallen out of Blake’s world.  When he’d lost Adam, he’d lost something more than a friend.  Something ignored and shunted aside, but still amazingly strong had broken when Adam had been taken from him.  But now Adam was back, she was _here,_ and for the first time, Blake could see her the way he should have been seeing her all along.

            Blake wasn’t gay.  But when it came to Adam, it didn’t matter.  It never should have mattered.  Because Adam was Adam.  No matter his gender or what body he was in, it was _Adam_ who had always been part of Blake.  Why hadn’t he realized that?  He’d felt as if part of him had died with Adam, and even then, he hadn’t realized it.  The true reason he’d fallen apart when he’d lost his friend.  The answer to why he couldn’t let Adam go.  His real, unfiltered feelings for the beautiful soul that had become so hopelessly entangled in his own.

            Gwen had chosen well when she’d spoken to the DJ.  The song couldn’t have been more perfect.  And as it drew to a close, Blake finally let himself admit his true feelings.

            _I love you!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun says guys just never understand how lame we really are. Could never manage high heels. Guys could never get just how much of a pain in the dick being a girl is. Denies that he got a lump in his throat at the end, or how he gasped when Blake admitted his feelings. Insists that never happened and I should stop making shit up. Then tried to deny he was sitting here singing “Lady In Red.” Then sighed and admitted, “I’m such a sap!”


	23. For You See Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake and Adam explore their new relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we have the main theme for this piece, "For You See Me" by Howard Jones. It's got some interesting timing and is a departure for me in that there are very few lyrics. But those that are there, I feel fit this piece perfectly.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjjlkXG-u7k

            Blake and Adam left the party early, largely at the not-so-subtle suggestion of an observant Gwen.  Blake behaved like the southern gentleman Ma raised him to be, offering Adam his arm and opening doors for her.  Her eyes shone softly at this. 

            On the ride back, Blake couldn’t tear his eyes away from her.  Adam didn’t say a word, just watched the passing scenery.  She seemed somehow shy.  She’d meet Blake’s eyes, and then quickly look down.  Did she know what was on Blake’s mind?  Most likely.  Blake wondered how she felt about it.  He knew she’d tended to her needs the night she’d danced, when Blake had walked away rather than sleep with her for the wrong reasons.  So Adam had to have some idea now about her own body.  Right?  Even so, Blake realized, anything that happened tonight would still be a very new, likely very strange experience for her.  But Blake was an experienced lover.  He knew how to make a woman feel good.  Tonight, if she’d let him, he would put those skills to good use.

            It was all he could do to remember his manners.  He couldn’t wait to get his hands on her.  _Slow,_ he reminded himself.  _This needs to be about her, not you!  Take it slow, Shelton, and you make her feel good.  Treat her like a queen, because she’s the best damned thing that ever happened to you!_

            When they were back at the house, Adam took Blake’s arm and allowed herself to be led inside.  Blake hesitated inside the door, looking at Adam.  She simply looked back at him.  Her tongue protruded for a second from between her lips, licking nervously at them.  The sight made Blake feel a little weak in the knees.  She was anxious, Blake could see that.  No doubt Adam knew exactly what was on Blake’s mind.  But she didn’t say a word.

            “You alright?” Blake asked her.

            “I’m fine,” she assured.

            She still had her hand through his arm.  Blake put his own on top of it and smiled at her.  She smiled back.  Then he kept going, boldly moving through the house and straight to his bedroom.  It was now or never.  The decision would be Adam's, of course, but Blake was not about to let this opportunity pass him by.

            Adam glanced around, her eyes lingering for a moment on the bed before returning to Blake.  “Blake, what you said before…?”

            “No longer applies.”  He stepped forward, cupping her face between his hands, and kissed her.  “Well, actually, it does.  It just no longer applies in a negative way.”

            She laughed.  “Ok, you’re going to have to try that one again.  What are you trying to say, Big Country?”

            “That I love you, Rockstar,” Blake said.  He smiled as Adam took in a sharp breath.  “And I love you, the whole package!  Kicker is, I always did.  I was just too damned stupid and stubborn to realize it before.  It never should have fucking _mattered_ what body you were in, or that you were a man, because no one else in my life ever meant to me what you did!  That’s why I fell apart so much when I lost you.  I lost so much more than my best friend.  Adam, I lost the whole center of my life!  And maybe it wasn’t _your_ unfinished business that brought you back here?  Maybe it was mine?  You died regretting not telling me the truth.  But baby, I never got to tell you the truth, either.  I love you, Adam.  I always did.  And I swear, if you give me the chance, I always will!”

            Adam’s breath hitched.  “B-Blake?  You called me ‘Rockstar.’”

            Blake smiled.  “Yes, ma’am, I do believe I did.”

            She pounced on him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him like her life depended on it.  “You see me!” she managed between kisses.  “You finally, really see me!”

            Blake only nodded.

            Her legs went around his hips, her skirt rising to permit the movement, and her ankles locked behind his back.  He tightened his arms around her and stepped forward, bending down to put her on the bed.  Then he let her go, rising to pull off his clothes and toe off his boots.  He looked at Adam and paused, blinking.  She’d shimmied out of her dress and was kneeling on the bed, looking expectantly at him.  Blake stood as he was, taking in the strapless black bra and matching lace panties, the garter belt and stockings.  “Wow,” was all he said.

            “Do you like it?” Adam asked anxiously.  “I wasn’t sure, I mean, I don’t want you to think I was trying to seduce you!  I mean, I was, but I wasn’t, like, that wasn’t the plan!  I mean ok I did kind of hope this would happen and I wore this under the dress because I thought you’d maybe like it and I gotta say, the lace is really scratchy but when I looked in the mirror I’d have done me but I don’t know what you like but hey, every guy likes garter belts, right?  So I guess I took a chance and I hope you don’t think the point of all this was to, like, seduce you or get you all excited, but you kind of look excited right now and holy shit, Blake, you’ve got something to brag about, don’t you?  And now I’m looking at your dick and that’s creepy and I’m sorry and I’m seriously babbling right now, aren’t I?”

            Blake burst into laughter.  Then he climbed onto the bed and took her in his arms.  “You look beautiful, Adam,” he said, smiling.  “You’re incredibly sexy, but more than that, you’re just so damned _you,_ aren’t you?  Doesn’t matter what body you’re in.  You’ll never change.”

            Adam’s eyes were bright as she let Blake lay her down.  “Is that good, or bad?”

            “It’s good.  Everything’s good, baby.  Never been better!”

            She smiled.  “Shoes off, or on?”

            Blake glanced back, and then turned to grin at her.  “Leave ‘em on!”

            “Naughty!” Adam laughed.  “If you get stabbed by these damned heels, I don’t want to hear any complaining!”

            “Chance I’ll have to take.”  Blake lowered his face to her breasts, nuzzling.  That stopped Adam’s anxious chatter.  Her fingers tangled in his hair, holding his head in place.  He had her bra off and on the floor in moments.  He cupped her breasts, flicking his thumbs over her nipples before latching on to one.

            Adam gave a little cry, arching up to meet him.  Blake slipped his arm behind her back and held her tight, continuing to worship her breasts.  He felt a hand reaching down and grunted as she found what she was looking for.  “You want me,” she marveled.

            “Damned right I do,” he managed.  He moved up, kissing her again and thrust into her hand. 

            She tightened her grip, gently tugging in a way that drove him wild.  Then she squirmed free, twisted around, and took him into her mouth.

            Blake moaned and rocked back on his heels.  She took him deep, her emerald eyes looking up at him as she worked with her lips and tongue.  She clutched at his hips, sliding off for a moment to lick at his sack before returning to her task.  “Oh, Adam, oh baby, I love you so much!”

            She was up like a shot, kissing him again.  The bitter taste of his own precum was on her lips.  His hands moved to her waist, lifting her and lying her back, undoing her garters and pulling off her panties.  He probed with his fingers and she gave a little cry, arcing back and clawing at the sheets.  “Blake!”

            It took every ounce of self-control he had not to jump on her right then and there.  But he could feel her trembling, feel her anxiety.  This was literally virgin territory for Adam.  Of course she’d be nervous.  Blake reached up with his other hand and gently smoothed her hair.  “It’s alright,” he soothed.  “I won’t hurt you.”

            “I want you to hurt me,” she whispered.  “Tear me apart, Blake, please!”

            “I’ll take care of you,” he vowed.  His fingers gently moved between her legs.  His other hand moved down her neck, past her shoulder and down her arm, tracing the familiar tiger tattoo.  “Just let me, Adam.  I swear, I’ll make this good.”

            “Alright.”  Total, unconditional surrender.  She went limp and pliant on his bed, her green eyes looking up at him with nothing but trust.

            He’d earn that trust.

            His hand moved again to her breast and gently massaged, even as he worked her from below.  She made a small sound, her eyes going half-lidded.  Her fingers twisted in the sheets, clutching tight.  Blake leaned forward again, claiming her mouth.  She eagerly kissed him, her tongue probing into his mouth, gasping and keening, her body shaking now more from desire than anxiety.  Her knees dropped to the sides, opening for him.

            She was ready.

            Blake broke the kiss and moved into position.  Her eyes were open again, watching him.  He looked for more of the anxiety he’d seen earlier, but saw none.  Adam’s eyes showed nothing but trust.  He took her hand.  “You ready for me, Rockstar?”

            Her lips moved, but nothing came out.  Then she simply nodded.

            He took her as gently as he could, watching her face for any sign of discomfort.  Her mouth was open in a wide O, her eyes huge and locked with his own, feeling herself penetrated for the first time.  Once he was fully seated, she gave a little cry.  “Blake!”

            “I got you, baby.”  He held her close, drawing back and thrusting forward.  And to his surprise, she immediately threw back her head and cried out, her legs locking around his waist and her hips rising to meet his own.  He smiled.  “Damned control freak!”

            “Shut up and fuck me, Shelton!”

            And Blake did.

            Adam, he quickly discovered, was a wildcat in bed.  She took everything he had to give, clinging tightly enough to leave marks.  Her nails scratched down his back.  Their lips were swollen from kissing.  And when Blake climaxed, so did she, crying their pleasure into the night.

            Afterwards, the two of them lay in each other’s arms, facing each other.  Adam gently brushed back Blake’s sweat-soaked hair.  “Are you alright, like this?” she wanted to know.  “You and me?”

            “I’m better than all right.”  He kissed her.  “You’re so beautiful, inside and out.  Do you even know how beautiful you are?”

            She gave a shy smile.  “You really think so?  This isn’t just pillow talk?”

            “Well, seeing as how you already put out, it would be kind of silly to try to seduce you again, wouldn’t it?”

            That earned him a groan and a swat.  “Jackass!”

            “Dickhead!”  He kissed her.  “Adam, what I did, the album and everything?  You know all that’s real, right?”

            “I know we did a real amount of work,” Adam grumbled.  “I busted my ass on that album, Blake.  I think that realizing it was all a trick hurt as much as the fact you’d tricked me, to be honest.”

            “That’s what I’m saying,” Blake insisted.  “It wasn’t a trick, Adam.  The new direction I’m going with my music, the new album?  That’s all real.  And I really do want you to be a part of it.”

            “I’d like that, Blake,” Adam said.  “I’d like that very much!”

            “Then I have a couple of ideas,” Blake began.  “First, you should start singing on my album.”

            Adam cocked an eyebrow.  “Back-up?”

            “Yes, back-up, but not just that.  You’ve got a beautiful voice, Adam,” Blake urged.  “I know it’s not something we can just spring on people.  We’ll have to take it slow.  But I want at least one song on this new album to be a duet, you and me.”

            “A duet?”  Adam’s eyes were bright with interest.

            Blake nodded.  “Eventually, I’m sure you’ll want your own career.  And once you’ve got some experience we can prove, working with me, I can help you get set up!”  He grinned.  “Hell, you can maybe try to get picked up by your old producers.  You know what they like, right?”

            She smiled.  “Yeah, I do!  And you’d be ok with that, Blake?  With me going off on my own, away from you?”

            Blake tightened his arms around her and kissed her again.  “I just want you to be happy,” he told her.  “That’s all.  You were right, Adam.  I really lost my mind back there, when I lost you.  And I wasn’t much better when I got you back.  If I’d just been honest with myself at the start, maybe it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.  But when I got you back, and in this body?”  He shook his head.  “I wanted you from the start, from the instant I was sure it really was you in that body.  And yeah.  I went nuts.  I was so afraid to lose you that I really was smothering you, wasn’t I?  And the way I treated you at the bar!”

            “You were kind of a prick,” Adam admitted.  “I wanted to kill you when you carried me down the street!”

            “Ugh, don’t remind me!” Blake groaned.  “I still cannot believe I did that.  And if you knew what was going through my head!  I was seriously planning to sell my house here and my ranch and move somewhere in the middle of nowhere so no one could ever take you away…”

            “Yeah, ok, that is more than I needed to know.”  Adam shuddered.  “That would have killed me, Blake, maybe literally killed me.  I couldn’t have lived like that!  Please don’t tell me that sort of thing, ok?”

            “No, I want you to know,” Blake insisted.  “Because I need you to understand where I was, and where I am now.  I swear, I will never again do anything like that.  You need your own life, Adam, apart from me.  And I gotta find the strength to let you go do it.”

            “That’s all I needed!”  Adam frantically kissed him.  “I’ll come back to you,” she vowed.  “No matter where I go or what I do, as long as you’ll have me, I will always come back to you.  I swear it!”

            “Then that’s all I need,” Blake declared, kissing her back.  “That’s all I need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr Fun groaned loudly, said “Awww!” Said it was good that Blake realized he was a dick about stuff, especially the carrying Adam away thing.
> 
> You're welcome!


	24. Hitting The Streets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam wants a new tattoo. Blake has a chat with an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to thank all of my lovely readers, especially those of you who have taken the time to comment, either here, on Tumblr, on Twitter, or via e-mail, and leave kudos and likes. As I've said before, that's payment for me, and the only way I have to know that someone is actually enjoying my work. Cheers!
> 
> Trigger warnings ahead. Mind the tags from this point out!

            “So, you’re really not going to tell me what you said to him?”

            “Nope!” Adam declared.  “It’s between me and Carson.  I’m not asking you what you said to your family, so you don’t get to know what happened between me and Carson.”  She frowned.  “When, exactly, were you going to tell me that he and Gwen are dating now?”

            Blake grinned impishly.  “I never really got the chance, and then I wanted to let her tell you.  Carson told you?”

            Adam nodded, scowling.  “He was almost as apologetic about that as he was about living in my house!  Seriously, why would I be upset about either one?”

            “Well, it does kind of give him motive for the way they ganged up on us,” Blake pointed out.  “They were supporting each other.”

            “True,” Adam admitted.  “But Gwen came around in the end.  She really came through for us, Blake!  She believed us, and she convinced your family and Carson to talk to us.  Now they believe us too, right?”

            “I guess.”  Blake rubbed at the back of his neck.  “They were pretty upset that I checked myself out of the hospital.”

            “Yeah, so was Carson,” Adam grumbled.  “It’s been a week, and they still act like it was yesterday!  But you didn’t answer my question.”  She peered anxiously up at Blake.  “Do they believe us?”

            “Ma does, and I think Clyde does, too,” Blake reported.  “He sure looked stunned, and a little embarrassed.  Emma, though, I don’t know.  She may need some more time to process it.”  He glanced sideways at Adam.  “She lost her husband about five months after you died, Adam.  And I wasn’t there for her like I should have been.  I couldn’t be.  Where I was then, I was in no shape to help my big sister.  But it didn’t matter.  I’m her brother, and I let her down.  And now I got you back.  That’s the problem.  I don’t think for one moment that she wishes you were dead again, Adam, but…  This miracle happened for me, and her husband’s still dead?”

            “Oh, ow.”  Adam laced her fingers through Blake’s.  She tried to imagine how she would feel if she’d lost Blake and Gwen had lost Carson, only to have Carson return through a Lifegem while Adam remained alone.  Her stomach felt sick.  Bad enough to lose Blake.  But the unfairness of that kind of miracle…?  “I think I understand,” she said aloud.  “If she accepts it’s really me, then she has to accept that someone coming back the way I did is possible.  But it didn’t happen to her.  It’s probably easier to believe I’m a con artist.”

            “Ma told me she’d help,” Blake assured.  “Emma will come around, and this time, I’ll be a better brother.”  He brought Adam’s fingers up to his lips and kissed them.  “Now, are you sure I can’t talk you out of this crazy tattoo business?”

            “Nope!” Adam declared.  “I am officially Blake Shelton owned, and I want everyone to know it.”  She brazenly lifted her shirt, exposing her abdomen.  “Your handsome mug right here, stud!  And then I better not get fat or you’ll look really funny!”

            Blake groaned and rolled his eyes, but his attention seemed to be elsewhere.  “Well, you knock yourself out,” he said.  “I won’t be a part of this travesty.  I’ve got some errands to run, and then I’ll come get you.  You’ll be alright?”

            Adam scoffed.  “I’ll be fine!  This is my favorite tattoo artist.  And I know that look, alright?  You are up to something!  You barely even argued with me about this!”  She narrowed her eyes.  “What are you doing behind my back, Blake Shelton?”

            “Just doing a little shopping,” Blake declared.  He bent down, cupped the back of her neck, and kissed her.  “I love you, Rockstar, and I’ll see you soon.  Tell them not to make me too ugly!”

            “They mess up your face at their own peril!”  She kissed him back.  Then she playfully swatted him on the rump.  “Alright, go run your mysterious errand!  Love you too, Big Country!”

            Blake’s handsome face curled into a smile.  Then he turned and ambled away.  Adam watched, admiring the view, and smirked when she noticed other women turning to admire as well.  _Eat your heart out, girls,_ she thought smugly.  _All six foot five of that belongs to this girl right here, and I ain’t sharing!_

            Adam turned and started down the line of shops.  As usual, the street was packed.  The tattoo shop wasn’t far, and the day was perfect for a nice stroll.  Adam was enjoying herself.  It was a bit strange to not get recognized.  People glanced at her and then away without a thought.  While she hadn’t always been recognized in her old body, it happened enough that she’d become used to it.  A quick smile, picture taken, maybe even an autograph to a random fan was fine.  If there were too many or the timing was bad, the polite brush-off usually did the trick.  It was a rare thing for a fan to get too enthusiastic.  Normally, on a crowded day like this, Adam would have gone out with a bodyguard, just in case.  It bothered her a little that Blake didn’t have one.  Blake had been out of the public eye for a while, but now he was very much in it again.  She’d have to talk to him.  Maybe if she agreed to accept one as well?  It was worth a try.  She considered Blake’s staff.  Martin might do for her.  He was a charming southern gentleman, but nearly as large as Blake.  While she didn’t anticipate any trouble, she knew Blake would be happier if she had company.

            Adam’s mind drifted back to Blake.  That first night with him, having sex with Blake for the first time.  The feeling of his strong arms holding her tight to his body, the sensation of him inside of her…  She shivered pleasantly.  She’d never known that it could be like this, this sharing of their bodies.  They’d made love over and over again this past week.  Adam had been interested in trying every variation and position she could think of, and Blake had been happy to oblige.  He could handle her so easily.  It thrilled her every time.  This morning he’d taken her right in the hallway, standing with her legs wrapped around his hips and her back against the wall, the big hands around her waist, Adam clinging to his shoulders and neck, screaming his name… 

            She smiled, feeling the flush rise in her cheeks.  _Down, girl!_

            At least now they were smart about it.  They’d been careful to use protection, after forgetting to use it that first night.  That had been a bit troubling.  She’d been tested for diseases, but it would still take time to be given a fully cleared screen.  Adam had no idea where Kitty had been or with whom.  If she gave something to Blake, she’d never forgive herself!  Blake had assured her that the chances of that happening after just one time were slim, but she still worried.  She’d even taken the precaution of putting condoms in various discrete locations around the house, just in case.  That had already come in handy more than once.  Once she got her tattoo, she’d have to be careful of anything on her stomach.  And that meant only one thing – doggy style.  Adam pictured it, herself on her hands and knees.  Blake’s big strong hands on her hips, pulling her back against him.  He’d thrust forward, plunging deep inside of her…

            Lost in her happy thoughts, Adam had only peripherally registered the van.  Cars moving slowly down this street were nothing new.  Pedestrians had no qualms about blocking traffic to get from one place to another, and drivers, especially tourists, loved to gawk.  So the van shadowing her hadn’t registered on her threat radar at all.  When the hand suddenly grabbed Adam’s arm and jerked her inside, it took her a moment to process.  She didn’t even scream before the driver sped up, taking her briskly away.  “What the fuck?!” she exclaimed, blinking at the man who’d grabbed her in shock.  “Vince?  You son of a bitch, stop this fucking van and let me out!”

            “Kitty, what the hell are you doing?” Vince hissed.  He hadn’t let go of her arm.  “I heard you were back in town and I waited for a call, but you never called me!  I need to know when we can get the money!”

            “What fucking money?”

            Vince shook her.  “Stop acting like a stupid bitch!  The Sinners are up my ass!  I’ve held them off all this time because you keep showing up in the papers with Shelton, so I can prove you’re really inside.  But they’re getting tired of waiting, Kitty!  We need that money, alright?  And besides…”  He dragged the back of his knuckles gently down Adam’s jaw to her neck.  “I missed you.  Been lonely in that house with no one in my bed.”  He nuzzled at her ear.  “What do you say you and me get up to something before we talk to the Sinners, huh?”

            Adam jerked free.  “Take your hands off of me!  I’m with Blake because we’re together, asshole!  It’s got nothing to do with you or the Sinners or any fucking money!  Now let me the hell out!”

            Vince snorted.  “Damn.  Jose told me you’d turned into a snotty bitch, thinking you really were going to be Mrs. Blake Shelton, and I didn’t believe it.  I thought you knew better!”  He grabbed her arm again and jerked her into his lap.  Then he nuzzled into her hair.  “You ain’t never gonna get better than me, Kitty.”

            Adam clawed at his hands.  “Let me go!”

            Vince frowned.  “Why you acting like this?  And you’re not going anywhere!  We got an appointment, and so help me, if you embarrass me, I will make you regret it!”

            “Fuck you!”  Adam jammed her elbow into Vince’s side, squirmed free, and bolted for the door.

            He grabbed her just as her hands reached the handle, jerking her back.  Adam immediately started fighting, kicking, hitting, and scratching for all she was worth.  Vince swore, pushed her back, and slapped her hard across the face.

            Adam hit the floor on her hands and knees.  Her head spun.  She raised a hand to her cheek, feeling the burning pain, and glared up at Vince.  “You fucking coward!” she spat.  “Is beating on women the only way you can get your dick hard?!”

            A second blow sent her sprawling.  “You stupid bitch!” Vince yelled.  Something hit her hard in the side.  Then came burning pain at her scalp.  Vince had her hair and was jerking her head up.  “You better get one thing straight, Kitty.  I make the rules!  You do what you’re told, and do not fucking embarrass me in front of the Sinners!  Do that, and we both might survive this!”

            “Do your worst, asshole!” Adam spat.  “Beat the shit out of me, I don’t care!  You’re not getting one cent of Blake’s money.  And I swear…!”

            Another blow.  She tumbled into the side of the van.  The world went grey for a moment.  The sound of her own heartbeat was loud in her ears, drowning out the sound of laughter from the driver’s seat.  She groaned, getting to her hands and knees just in time for the van to go around a turn and send her tumbling sideways again.  The driver laughed again.

            “You done?”  That was Vince again.  His voiced sounded odd, as if it were coming from a distance much farther than he actually was.  “You had about enough of this shit, Kitty?  Because I sure as hell know I have!”

            Adam whimpered.  She managed to get back up to her hands and knees again and glare at Vince.  “Rot in hell!” she yelled.  “I don’t care what you do to me, Vince, you or these Sinners or anyone else.  I will _never_ help you take anything from Blake!  Never!”

            Vince swore, slapped her again, and she went down once more.  This time, she stayed down.  She felt somehow detached, as if she was floating somewhere just above her body.  That was better.  She couldn’t feel the pain as much.

            “I told you!” the man in the driver’s seat laughed.  “I told you this proud slut is not going to help you, Vince!  She was fine to live in the lap of luxury and let us fucking kill you, man!”

            “Doesn’t matter,” Vince growled.  He was moving away from Adam now, going back to sit down with a disgusted sigh.  “I can still get your money, ok?  It’ll be simple enough.  Fucking Shelton’s head over heels!  All I gotta do is let him know where to bring the money.  He wants her back, he pays, end of discussion!”

            “This better be one hell of a payday,” the driver warned.  “We’ve waited on your sorry ass long enough, Vince.  You get our fucking money, or Juan’s gonna tear your skin off in strips, you got it?”

            “I got it.”  Vince was coming closer again.  Adam curled up into a defensive ball, waiting for another blow.  But it didn’t come.  Vince’s hand dug into the pocket of her jeans, produced her cell phone.  Then he reached down, slipped one arm around Adam’s middle, and lifted her up, carrying her back to the seat.  Vince pressed the pad of her thumb against the button on her phone, unlocking it.  Then he started looking through it.  “Ok, now we send Shelton a little message…  His name isn’t on here, what the hell?  What’s this, ‘Big Country,’ that him?”

            Adam didn’t respond.  Her eyes were half-lidded, still lost in that odd feeling of detachment.

            “Eh, that’s probably it.  Ok, Kitty, smile for the camera!”

            A light flashed.  Vince fiddled a bit more.  Then he lowered the window an inch, threw Adam’s phone out, and rolled it back up.  “Alright, we’re all set.  I told him to get the money and meet us at the club in three hours.  That should give him enough time to hit the bank, but not enough to get too creative about rescuing the damsel in distress, right?”

            The driver snorted.  “You tell him no cops?”

            “Yes, dammit, I told him if he ever wants to see this bitch alive he’d better play ball!  Now how about we get where we going?  I think she’s actually going to pass out on me here!”

            Adam barely registered the words.  The world was going grey.  Her body went limp, and then everything went dark.

****

            Blake exited the shop with a smile on his face and his purchase in his pocket.  He’d been in contact with the proprietors from the day after the party, outlining exactly what he’d wanted.  And the finished product was perfect.  Just like Adam.  Just thinking of her made Blake’s heart pound.  Tomorrow, Blake would be performing.  Adam thought he’d be doing one of the songs from his last album, but Blake had a new song.  He planned to sing it, and then, once he had Adam backstage…  His hand moved of its own accord, cupping over the item in his pocket.  He grinned like an idiot.  He couldn’t wait!

            His phone sounded.  He was fumbling it out of his pocket when a familiar figure hustled towards him.  “Excuse me!  We need to talk.”

            “Mark.”  Blake narrowed his eyes at the man, absently shoving his phone back into his pocket.  “I don’t know that I’ve got anything to say to you.”

            Mark blinked, his eyes wide behind the glasses.  “What?  Did I miss something?”

            “Can’t you ask the spirits?” Blake asked dryly.

            Mark gave him a level gaze.  “That’s something I would expect from your incorporeal friend, not from you.  But even though I’m reasonably certain you were being sarcastic, I’ll answer you anyway.  No, I can’t just ask the spirits.  It doesn’t work that way.  I see spirits, I communicate with them on occasion, but it’s not like they’re whispering things in my ear.  Now, would you please talk to me?”

            “Fine,” Blake grumbled.  “But talk fast.”

            Mark ducked into an alcove and turned to Blake.  He looked nervous.  Blake supposed he must look fairly intimidating.  He towered over the man and the scowl on his face probably didn’t help.  Mark swallowed and began to speak.  “I want you to know, before I accepted that transfer and moved out here?  I did some asking around, like I told you I would,” he began.  “I’m sorry I ignored your calls, but you see, you really stirred up quite the hornet’s nest.  The community is divided right down the middle about you!”

            “About me what?” Blake demanded.

            Mark sighed.  “About you joining us, Mr. Shelton.  I told you that I couldn’t sense any psychic ability in you or Mr. Levine, and that’s still the case.  But the general consensus is that there’s only one way Levine could have returned – because you summoned him!”

            Blake rolled his eyes.  “I’ll never admit this to her face, but dammit, Adam was right,” he groaned.  “You really are a nut, aren’t you?”

            “Mr. Shelton, please!”  Mark grabbed Blake’s arm and paled when the big man turned to glare at him.  “Hit me later if you want, but please, hear me out first?”

            “Talk fast,” Blake warned.

            Mark took a deep breath and began to speak rapidly.  “Levine had unfinished business that kept him anchored to this world.  But that should have only produced a ghost, at best!  That ring, the one made from his ashes?  You had a strong emotional attachment to it, didn’t you?”

            “Not hard to figure that one out.”

            “I couldn’t figure it out,” Mark confessed.  “Miss Miller’s death while she was wearing a ring possessed by a spirit created the initial possession.  But afterwards, once the ring was off?  That should have been the end of it!  The idea that a spirit could possess a body, even an unoccupied one like Miss Miller’s, simply by putting a ring on her finger is ludicrous!  There had to be something else, some outside force that caused that to happen the second time.  In hindsight, it should have been obvious!”

            He looked up at Blake, took in Blake’s expression, and nodded.  “Alright, let me put it in layman’s terms.  Did you realize, when you put the ring back on Miss Miller’s finger, that it could be used as a conduit to anchor Mr. Levine’s spirit to the body?”

            “Kind of?” Blake admitted.  “I didn’t actually know what would happen.”

            “That was it,” Mark insisted.  “You’re a natural medium, Mr. Shelton, and you didn’t even know it!  Your longing, your desire to have your friend back called to the spirit through the ring, and that is why his spirit was able to anchor into Miss Miller’s body once more!”

            Blake blinked.  “So, if she takes the ring off, or something happens, does that mean I can bring her back again?”

            Mark hesitated.  He reached into his pocket and produced a small vial of clear fluid.  This, he handed to Blake.  “I actually didn’t seek you out for that,” he admitted.  “Take this.”

            Blake took it.  “What is it?”

            “It’s a potion capable of breaking the bond between a spirit and a living body.  An exorcism potion.”

            “What?!”  Blake sputtered.  “Dammit, that’s the last thing I need!  Here, take it back and give it to someone who doesn’t want someone to be possessed.  Adam’s fine right where she is!”

            “Please keep it?” Mark pleaded.  He pushed Blake’s hand and the bottle back.  “You have a natural talent, but you’re completely untrained.  And what you’ve done, anchoring the spirit of a dead man to the unoccupied vessel of a living woman?”  He shook his head.  “That physical change I mentioned before.  Is it complete?”

            “Her scent changes,” Blake admitted.  “A lot of time, it’s Adam’s, especially lately.  But not all the time.  It’s still Kitty’s a good portion of the time.”

            “Then the spirit isn’t completely anchored.  There’s still time.  Mr. Shelton, the universe is set up along a certain order.  What’s dead is meant to stay dead, no matter how much we may wish it otherwise.  And it _will_ balance itself in the end.”

            “What’s that mean?”

            “The universe balances itself through one of two ways – destruction, or creation.  Eventually, you will come face to face with one of those forces as a direct result of Adam Levine’s spirit being inside of Kitty Miller’s body.  I can’t say how, or when, or even why, but I know that you will need that potion.”

            Blake cocked an eyebrow at the smaller man.  “Alright,” he said at last.  “I’ll hold onto it.”  He tucked the bottle into his pocket.  It bulged, almost seeming to accuse him, and he shifted uncomfortably.

            “Thank you.”  Mark produced a card and handed it to Blake.  “Our community is divided, but it seems to me you deserve to be part of it.  And we look out for our own.  I can be reached at this number, when you need me.”

            “Thanks.”  Blake didn’t miss the way Mark had said _when_ rather than _if._   He wasn’t ashamed to admit that Mark’s words had him worried.  He watched as the little man scurried off.  Then he shook his head and pulled out his phone.  May as well put Mark’s new contact information in.  No telling when it may come in handy.

            And that was when he saw the text waiting for him, and the close-up picture of Adam’s battered, bloody face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun says this is not good. Says Vince is a dick. Made punching motions into his hand and said “That’s Vince’s face!” Thinks Blake just got an engagement ring for Adam. Also said it was very interesting, what Mark said. The potion was spooky, and Mark knows a little too much about exorcisms. Liked what he said about the universe balancing itself, but that doesn’t mean Blake should let Adam drink that potion, at least not yet. But at some point, maybe he very well should. After a while, Adam could go bad, especially now that he’s about to re-enter the dark side of L. A. Something is going on with him now, and he might be getting knocked out of his body.


	25. Saints and Sinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is struggling to hold on while in the control of the Sinners. Blake is willing to do whatever it takes to get her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I used here, and the inspiration for the Sinners, is "Saints Of Los Angeles" by Motley Crue  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB5EG4adqB8

            Adam wanted to scream and fight.  She wanted to kick Vince in the nuts until he qualified as a woman.  She wanted to rip out his spine and show it to him.  And apparently, Vince realized that.  That was probably why she woke up tied hand and foot, a length of rope connecting her wrists to her ankles so that she was bent nearly backwards and a gross-tasting rag shoved into her mouth.

            When she opened her eyes, Vince was pacing around, looking anxious.  She had no idea where she was.  It looked like some sort of wine cellar, with brick walls.  It was damp and dingy and dark.  She was lying on her side on the bare stone floor.  Her face ached where Vince had hit her.  So did her side where he’d kicked her.  One of her teeth seemed suspiciously loose.  Son of a bitch.  Still, it wasn’t as bad as it may have been.  She still felt a bit disconnected.  It was like the worst case of medicine head she’d ever had.

            “Finally woke up, huh?”  Vince.

            Adam glared at him, putting as much hatred as she could into the look.  She twisted her wrists.  The ropes were tight.  Her hands were going numb.  She tried anyway.  She was lying on her side facing Vince, meaning her hands were hidden behind her back.  Hopefully, that meant he couldn’t see what she was doing.  She had to get loose before Blake got there, had to be able to help him, keep Vince and the Sinners from hurting the man she loved!

            Another man was seated in a dusty chair in the center of the room.  His attention was fixed on the television screen attached to one wall.  Adam’s eyes immediately found the pistol he was cleaning as he watched TV.  They widened and returned to Vince.

            Vince had come closer and was squatting down next to her head.  He jerked his head towards the other man.  “Now you see what we’re up against?” he said in a low voice.  “Juan’s with the Sinners, and they do not fuck around, Kitty!  You know that!”

            Adam shook her head.  She mumbled through the gag.

            “I’ll take that off,” Vince offered.  “But I swear, if you start screaming or do anything stupid, it’s going right back in and I will fucking take a belt to your ass, Kitty, I mean it!  I have no time for your shit right now!”

            Adam glared up at him, making her eyes frosty.

            Vince rolled his eyes.  But he undid the gag and pulled it out of Adam’s mouth.

            Adam worked her jaw, getting the kinks out of it from the gag.  Then she snarled at Vince.  “You son of a bitch!” she hissed.  “How many times do I have to tell you I have amnesia before you believe me?  I have no fucking idea what’s going on here, or who these Sinners are, or anything else!  All I know is you just kidnapped me and you’re trying to use me to get money out of Blake!  I swear to God, if you hurt Blake…!”

            “Well, see, here’s the thing,” Vince mumbled.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Kitty, you know how Wes and I would go to those card games?”

            “No, because I don’t remember any of it!”

            “Right, right.  Ok, well, we went to card games.”

            “That’s great, Vince, get to the part about Blake not getting hurt!”

            Vince sighed.  “Wes and I got in way over our heads.  Juan over there, he’s a collector for the Sinners.  And the night of the crash, Wes brought you with him so you could talk to Juan about an extension.  We figured he might listen to you, since he likes pretty young girls.  And Juan, well, he liked you, Kitty.  Like, a lot, you know?  So much he’s been asking about you ever since!”

            Adam eyed him.  “What the hell are you saying?”

            “Look, all I want is to get Juan his money and we both go back home, alright?” Vince exclaimed.  He kept his voice low, shooting anxious glances towards Juan.  “But Juan says if Shelton doesn’t pay up today, he’s taking it out of my hide, and then he’s taking you!  He’ll do it, Kitty, he’ll fuck you right in front of me and then hand you over to one of their pimps and you’ll be out on the streets tomorrow, ok?  These guys, they’re dangerous!  So when Shelton gets here, you gotta convince him to pay up, or we’re both in some seriously deep shit!”

            “How the hell did this turn out this way?” Adam wanted to know.  “I just danced, right?  Why am I even a part of this now?”

            “I know, dammit, Kitty, I’m sorry!  You know me…  No, you don’t,” he corrected as Adam shot him a look.  “But trust me, ok?  I’m not a bad guy!”

            Adam scoffed.  “Oh, sure!  You kidnapped me, beat the shit out of me, left me tied up on the fucking floor and put the man I love in danger, but you’re not a bad guy!”

            “I’m not!  Kitty, listen, I’ve done some shit.  I’ve gambled, I’ve done drugs, I’ve sold drugs and went to jail for it, and sure, maybe I haven’t been the best boyfriend…”

            “Understatement, asshole!”

            “…But I never meant for it to get this bad!  You think I wanted you involved?”

            “Seems to me you’re the one who got me involved in the first place, if you sent me to talk to this guy that night,” Adam pointed out.  “And you’re also the one who told the Sinners I could get your money from Blake!”

            “Ok, yeah, I did that.  But the shit that Juan and the Sinners are into?  The loan sharking and pimping and murdering people?  That’s way not my bag!  I don’t hold with any of that hard shit, ok?  Even Wes wasn’t that bad!  Worst thing he ever did was when he mugged Shelton that night with you, and that was probably only because you were all high as fuck and Wes was desperate!”

            “I feel so much better now that you’ve explained all that, Vince,” Adam snapped.  “Thank you.”

            “Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page.”  Was he serious?  “Here’s the thing.  Kitty, you always swore up and down that you never did anything more than dance.  That true?”

            “No idea.  Doesn’t matter, because it’s true now!”

            “Fine, whatever, but now you gotta give a bit.”  He jerked his head towards Juan, who had finished cleaning his weapon and was now reassembling it.  “I’m gonna untie you, and then you gotta make real nice with Juan.  Make him happy, keep him calm while I talk to Shelton.  Because if Juan’s in a bad mood, he might just shoot all three of us for the hell of it!  God knows he’s done it before.”

            Adam felt cold.  “Um, what?”

            “That guy once shot up a whole room!” Vince stressed.  “And he’s already pissed and high and he’s said twice now that if this doesn’t go down without a hitch, he was putting a bullet in me and Shelton both!  Now, he promised me that as long as you keep him company, he’s fine right where he is and I can deal with Shelton.  So you gotta do it, Kitty.”

            “Do what?  What the hell does that mean, keep him company?”

            “Just sit in his lap and let him feel you up!”  Vince was looking frustrated.  “Whatever it takes to distract him from that fucking gun!  Dammit, why are you being such a bitch about this?”

            “Why don’t you let him feel you up and then come ask me that question, Vince?!”  Adam closed her eyes and shuddered.  Was Vince telling the truth?  Would the monster in the chair really shoot Blake on little more than a whim?  She couldn’t take the chance.  If these Sinners really were as bad as Vince believed, then Juan wouldn’t hesitate to hurt Blake if he didn’t get what he wanted.  And apparently, he wanted two things – money, and her.  Her skin crawled at the thought of the man putting his hands on her, but she couldn’t let Blake get hurt.  Whatever Juan did to her would be worth it to protect Blake.  She opened her eyes and nodded.  “Untie me and I’ll do it.”

            “Good!”  Vince quickly went to work on the knots.  “You just keep him happy, Kitty, and we’ll get this done and get out of here.  Then I promise I’ll never go near the Sinners again!  I’ll even be a better boyfriend!”

            Adam didn’t respond.  It amazed her that, even now, Vince still seemed to believe that she would go back to him.  It made her wonder just how many times Kitty had done exactly that?  No time to think about that now.  She groaned and stretched, rubbing at her wrists and ankles.

            “Hey, Juan?” Vince called, helping her up.  “Kitty’s gonna keep you company while I deal with Shelton, just like I promised.”

            “Well, alright!”  He shoved the gun into the back of his pants, smiled and patted his lap.  “Get that sweet ass over here, little Kitty cat!”

            Adam forced her feelings down and went to him, climbing into his lap.  Almost immediately, he pulled her against him and started exploring.  It was like she wasn’t even there, like she was nothing more than a piece of meat for him to fondle, his rancid breath coming faster over her shoulder.  Adam desperately wanted to scream at him to stop.  But instead, she gritted her teeth and kept her hands at her sides.  For Blake.  She could bear this for Blake.  Somehow, she had to keep him safe.

            Oddly enough, it wasn’t so bad.  Even as the disgusting man’s hands groped at her, she barely felt it.  That strange feeling of disconnect was stronger than ever.

****

            Blake had never been to this part of L. A. before.  Everything about it seemed hostile.  His heart ached with worry for Adam.  He pictured her battered face and felt sick.  Someone would pay for that, he vowed.  But first, he needed to get her safe.  Right now, that was the only thing that mattered.

            The bag containing the ransom money was clutched tight to his chest.  He had a ball cap and dark glasses to help hide his appearance, but had to take the glasses off when he entered the club.  The inside was dark, especially in contrast with the bright L. A. sunlight outside.  It took him a moment to adjust his eyes.  And he realized he was a perfect target, silhouetted as he was against the light and completely blind to whatever waited for him in the building.  He moved forward and went to the bartender.  “I’m supposed to see Vince in the basement?”

            The bartender glanced at him, disinterested, before going back to his crossword puzzle.  “Door to the left.”

            “Thanks.”  He moved towards the door, taking note of the unfriendly eyes of the half dozen or so men who were lounging in the bar area.  He heard a mocking laugh.  Didn’t matter.  Only Adam mattered.  He needed to get her out of here, away from this nightmare.  They’d beaten her, hit her _head,_ was she still alright?  Was she still his Adam?  No way to know.  Even if she’d managed to get through that, she was trapped, helpless, and probably terrified.  Mark had said that was as dangerous as a head injury.  Adam might be barely holding on!  He had to get her out of here.

            He reached the bottom of the stairs, went down a short hall, opened the door, and there was Adam.

            Adam was being held on the lap of a large, rough-looking man.  The man’s muscular tattooed arm was tight around her waist, keeping her flush against his chest as he nibbled at her ear.  Her face was starting to bruise.  Her eyes were blank and distant.  But they went wide when she saw Blake.  “Blake!”

            “Oh, thank God!”  Adam was here!  But she was hurt.  She was frightened.  She needed him.  That was all Blake cared about. 

            He started forward, but Vince quickly got in his way.  Blake never hesitated.  A moment later, Vince was flat on his back on the floor.  The man holding Adam apparently thought this was very funny, laughing and slapping at his knee.

            “Blake!” Adam cried.  “Stop it, dammit, just calm down!”

            “Calm down?  Look at what he did to you!”

            “You gotta listen to her, man,” Vince groaned, getting back to his feet.  “Let’s get this done so we can all get the hell out of here!”

            Blake balled his fist, and Vince winced.

            “Blake, please!” Adam yelled.  “Just give him what he wants, ok?”

            Blake eyed Adam.  She was clutching at the arm around her, as if she were trying to get loose.  She seemed clearer now.  The man holding her in his lap was smiling, his eyes half-lidded.  Clearly he was high.  His hair was slicked back with grease.  He was big, muscular, but definitely leaning more towards the flabby side.  Blake didn’t like the way the other man was holding Adam, and he liked how high his hand was on her jeaned thigh even less.  Then the bastard nuzzled once more against Adam’s ear, she flinched involuntarily, and Blake started forward with murder in his eyes.

            Once again, Vince risked death by getting in Blake’s way.  “Come on, man,” he pleaded.  “She’ll be fine, so long as you play ball!  You got the money, right?”

            “Yeah, I got your fucking money!” Blake snarled.  He shoved the bag at Vince.  “Now let her go!”

            Vince checked the bag, pulling out the money Blake had just gotten from the bank.  He held it up towards the other man.  “Check it out, Juan, he paid up!  Told you, man.”

            “Good.  Now get the fuck out of here, both of you,” Juan said.  “Miss Kitty and I are gonna get acquainted.”

            Everyone froze.  “Come on, Juan!” Vince pleaded.  “You said as long as you got your money, you’d let Kitty go!”

            Juan smiled and tightened his grip on Adam.  “I will let her go, after,” he announced.  “Now beat it!”

            Blake’s hands clenched into tight fists.  “You’re not touching her, you sick son of a bitch!”

            “Just go, Blake!”  Adam’s face was pale.  Her eyes were huge as she looked pleadingly at Blake, but worse, to Blake’s alarm, they once again looked glazed.  Suddenly, Adam almost looked as stoned as Juan.  Had they given her something, or was this something worse?  “Go!” she repeated.  “I’ll be alright.”

            “Like hell you will!”

            Vince pushed desperately at Blake.  “Come on, man, you can’t make him mad, he’ll…”

            “Dammit, Blake, he’s got a gun!” Adam shrieked.  “Please, just go, get the hell out of here!”

            Blake lowered his chin.  “No,” he said.  “I’m not leaving without you, and I sure as hell am not leaving you here with this piece of shit!”

            “You,” Juan declared, “are one dumb son of a bitch.  This isn’t a game, Shelton.  I told you to go.  You can go on your own, or I can dispose of your bloody corpse later, but either way, you’re leaving now.  You know why?  Because I’m the guy who’s got the gun!”

            Blake didn’t move.  His eyes locked with Juan’s.  “You got a gun, asshole?” he called.  “Then I got one bit of advice to give you.  _Don’t fucking miss!”_

            Everything happened at once.  Blake charged forward.  Juan reached behind himself and drew his weapon.  Vince bolted for the door.  Adam threw herself forward, grabbing for the weapon.  Then there was only the sound of the gun, echoing in the unfinished basement room.

            Blake was on top of Juan in seconds, pulling Adam free and then launching himself onto the thug.  Juan was big, but he was also high and completely unprepared.  Blake knocked him backwards, chair and all.  The thug’s greasy head impacted with the floor, his weapon went flying.  Then the only thing Blake was aware of was the red haze before his eyes, the sound of his fists impacting flesh.  This bastard had hurt Adam, he had _put his hands on her,_ and now Blake was making him pay.  He felt nothing except pure, unbridled fury.  He barely registered the shouts behind him.  When hands took hold of him, dragging him off, he fought them, wanting only to get back to the monster who had dared to touch Adam.

            And then Adam was there.  “Blake, stop, please, it’s over!  The police are here, it’s ok!”

            The police.  The sting.  That was right.  Blake had called them as soon as he’d seen the text and Adam’s picture.  They’d been listening over the microphone Blake was wearing.  They’d heard everything that had taken place here.  Now both Juan and Vince were in cuffs.  The club was being cleared out.  And Adam, Adam was here, Adam was in Blake’s arms, clear-eyed and warm and soft, and everything was alright now.  He held her tight, smiling as he once again detected Adam’s scent in the woman’s hair.  “It’s over,” he breathed.  “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry he hurt you!”

            “I’m ok, Blake.”  She laughed in relief.  “It’s so weird!  For a while, when I really thought he was gonna… hurt me?  It was like I was going away.  But it’s gone now.”  She clung to him.  “I can’t believe you came for me!  Thank you.  Thank you so much!”

            “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Rockstar,” Blake breathed, holding her close.  “I got you.”

            “Mr. Shelton?”

            Blake looked up to see the somber face of a cop.  “Sir, you need to let Miss Miller go now.”

            Blake stared at him.  His arms tightened protectively around Adam.  “What the hell for?  She didn’t have anything to do with this shit!  You heard what happened!  Bastard kidnapped her for ransom!  He was about to rape her!”

            “We’re not looking to arrest her, and I think the adrenaline is blocking the pain,” the cop explained gently.  “We’ve already called an ambulance.  But you’re both covered in blood.”

            Blake looked down.  Sure enough, his shirt was stained with blood.  Blood covered the front of Adam’s t-shirt, dripped down her arm.  She gave a cry of alarm.  “Blake!  You got shot?”

            “No, Miss Miller,” the cop explained, “you did.  Now sit down, and let us put some pressure on that wound.”

            Blake numbly put Adam down on the couch.  He dropped to his knees in front of her, watching in horror as blood flowed from the bullet wound in her shoulder.  “She’ll be ok,” he said.  “Tell me she’ll be ok!”

            “We need to get her to a hospital, but the wound looks pretty clean,” the cop assured.  “Bullet went right through.  You’re a very lucky girl, Miss Miller.”

            “I know,” Adam called, clutching at Blake’s hand.  “Believe me, I know!”

            Blake rode with Adam in the ambulance.  He tried to be helpful, filling out paperwork and hovering over Adam.  Adam was small to start with.  In the oversized hospital gown she wore now, she looked like little more than a child.  She clung to his hand as they prepped her for surgery.  They’d given her something to help her relax and try to keep her from going into shock.  Once again, her eyes were glazed.  “Hurts,” she mumbled.

            “I know, baby, and they’re going to help you,” Blake soothed.  He gave her a kiss.  “They’re gonna take you in now.  I’ll be right here, waiting for you when you come out.  Alright?”

            “Alrit,” she slurred.  She was deep under the influence now, but she still smiled up at him.  “Lubbu.”

            He kissed her again.  “I love you, too.”

            Letting go of her hand when they wheeled her away was the hardest thing Blake had ever done.  But the doctors were confident that, barring anything unforeseen, she would make a complete recovery.  She’d have a scar, but Blake didn’t care.  All he wanted was Adam.

            He’d just settled in to a chair in the waiting area and selected a magazine when a smiling nurse rushed towards him.  “Mr. Shelton?” she called.  “Here.  I think she’d want you to hold onto this.  Don’t want it to get lost!”

            The Lifegem glistened in her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr Fun, as always, really enjoyed Blake throwing down. Gave me a very nasty look at the end of the chapter. Wants to know why I would do that, give him such hope and then just dash it against the rocks like a ship lost at sea? It’s just rude!
> 
> The author has been informed she is a terrible person. However, she would like to point out that this story is not yet over, and she did indeed promise a happy ending.
> 
> Same artwork from the beginning of the story, making an encore appearance.


	26. Into The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake is willing to do whatever he must to reach Adam, even if that means following him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDHY1D0tKRA
> 
> Artwork is Nut's best in my humble opinion. Way to go, girl. You blew me away.

            In the weeks that followed, Blake rarely left Adam’s side.  He’d put the ring back onto her finger as soon as he was able to.  But Adam didn’t wake up.  The doctors were shocked and puzzled.  Brain scans showed no neural activity at all.  Adam was, they’d explained, brain dead.  The only reason she was allowed to stay in the hospital was because the hospital lawyers were still negotiating with the lawyers Blake had obtained for Adam.  Everyone believed that it was a problem with anesthesia, combined with the trauma of her injuries, that had resulted in Kitty Miller turning into a vegetable.

            Only Blake and those closest to him knew the truth.

            Now Adam lay, silent and still, in her hospital bed.  She was fed through a tube inserted into her stomach, diligently turned and repositioned, and given physical therapy to keep her muscles loose.  But time and time again, doctor after doctor had carefully explained that she wouldn’t get better.  She wouldn’t recover.  She was gone, and only the empty shell of her body remained.

            Blake was being gently urged to let her go.  But he adamantly refused.

            His family, Gwen, and Carson had been great.  They’d taken turns sitting with Adam in order to force Blake to go home and get some much-needed rest.  They’d explained gently that he couldn’t simply will Adam to return just by sitting at the side of the bed and holding Kitty’s hand with the ring on her finger and praying.  They didn’t know.  Blake was a natural medium.  Blake had been the only one who’d been able to bring Adam back the first time the ring came off Kitty’s finger.  Now Blake believed that he was the only one who could bring her back again.

            Blake spent hours not praying, although he’d certainly done plenty of that, but focusing.  He drew hard on his love for Adam, his longing for the one soul that completed his own.  _Come back, Adam.  You promised me that you’d always come back to me!  Please, Rockstar, please come back!_

            But day after lonely day, she lay silent and unmoving.

            She’d been in a coma for three weeks when Mark finally came to visit.

            Blake brightened.  “Finally!  You’re a hard man to get a hold of!”

            “Not really,” Mark corrected.  “I got all of your messages, Mr. Shelton.  I just didn’t know exactly how to respond, or if I even should.  When you…”

            “I remembered what you said,” Blake interrupted.  “About how the universe balances itself out, either through creation or destruction.  Do you think that’s what I’m dealing with here, Mark?  Did the fucking universe decide to just up and destroy Adam?  Because it sure as hell has destroyed me!”

            “It doesn’t work like that,” Mark sighed.  “Look, Mr. Shelton…”

            “Blake.”

            “Blake.  This isn’t any sort of cosmic punishment.  You had no idea what you were doing when you summoned Mr. Levine here, so you’re hardly worthy of any punishment!  And Mr. Levine didn’t deserve to be sent back into the void now any more than he deserved to die in that plane crash.  Sometimes it just happens.  It’s just fate.”

            Blake whirled and pointed at him.  “Do not tell me that this is fate, Mark.  I won’t hear it!  I already threw out some poor hospital chaplain who tried to tell me that everything happens for a reason!”

            “But it does!” Mark insisted.  “You may find it strange that someone like me believes in God, but I’m actually a practicing Catholic.  I do believe that God has a plan, and that everything happens for a reason.  Mr. Levine came back to you as part of that plan.  And he helped you, didn’t he?  I read the papers, and you weren’t doing well after you lost him.  He came back and helped you heal.  Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, that was his true purpose all along?  That he came back specifically to help you heal, so that you’d be strong enough to go on without him?”

            “No,” Blake said stubbornly.  “And do you know why, Mark?  Because now that Adam’s gone, I can’t see one single reason to go on without her.  Not one!”

            Mark straightened.  “Blake, killing yourself isn’t the answer.  If you do that, you’re going directly into the face of everything that Adam tried to do for you.  Do you really think that’s what he’d want?”

            “No, it ain’t, and that’s why I don’t want to do it.  This isn’t about killing myself, Mark.  It’s about this.”  He pulled out the vial of clear fluid that Mark had given him.

            Mark blinked owlishly at it.  “The exorcism potion?  But he’s already gone!  There’s no soul inside of this girl’s body at all!”

            “It ain’t for Adam,” Blake corrected.  “It’s for me.  Now, you told me that this potion was able to knock a spirit out of its body.  Can it knock my spirit out of mine?”

            “Well, yes, in theory,” Mark said cautiously.  “But I’m not sure why you’d want to do that.  What are you thinking?”

            “That Adam promised me she’d always come back to me wherever she was,” Blake declared.  “The only reason she’s not here is because she can’t find her way back.  She needs help.  Now, when I called you, I told you I needed your help to bring Adam back.  Will you help me?”

            Mark suddenly looked tired.  “That’s what I came to tell you, Blake.  The community took its time with it, but they did decide to let you join us.  Your power can’t be denied, after all.  And I’ll have you know, I was very nearly censured for helping you by giving you that potion in the first place.  As it stands, you’re very close to being censured yourself.  They’re in an uproar over what you’ve done.  It’s not natural, Blake.  You have to know that!”

            “And you have to know I don’t give a shit,” Blake growled.  “I didn’t bring Adam back on purpose.”

            “But you absolutely want to do it now,” Mark pointed out.

            “Damned right!”  Blake clutched at her hand.  “She got shot trying to defend me, Mark.  She’s been through so much, faced so many challenges since she came back.  And she was doing alright, dammit!  She would have been fine if they hadn’t taken her ring off.  If there’s any destruction to be done, then the universe can damned well destroy me.  But not Adam.”  He met Mark’s eyes.  “I’m bringing her back, Mark.  With your help, then I imagine I got a better chance of us both coming back.  Without you, I’m taking my chances.  So I guess it’s up to you, isn’t it?”

            “Dammit, Blake, I can’t let you try this alone!” Mark exclaimed.  “You’re a natural medium, but you’re completely untrained, no idea what you’re doing…”

            “Then you’ll help me now?”  Blake’s eyes were boring into Mark’s.

            Mark sighed.  He pulled off his glasses, polished them with the hem of his shirt, and put them back on.  Then he looked at Blake.  “What, exactly, are you planning to do?”

            “Adam’s in this void, right?” Blake asked.  “She’s out in some kind of purgatory between this world and the next?  That’s why she was able to get into Kitty’s body?”

            “Yes, he, or she if you prefer, is trapped in the spirit realm.  Unless, of course, she’s already passed over.”

            “She hasn’t,” Blake insisted.  “I know that.  She promised me that, no matter where she went, she’d always come back to me.  So she’s out there somewhere, waiting for me.  And I gotta bring her back!  Now, I’ve been trying my damnedest to call her back here, but nothing’s happening.  So the way I see it, I got two options.”  Blake held up one finger.  “Option one, I’m doing this wrong.  I’ve been holding her hand, touching the diamond and focusing on how much I loved her and needed her.  And I’ve been calling out, trying to reach her and bring her back.  What else do I need to do?”

            “Actually, that covers it,” Mark declared.  “If she heard you and was able to return, she should have done it.  But Blake, how long as she been in this body?  The ring was anchoring her to it, and from the sounds of things, she was getting a lot more secured into it.  But I understand she had some head injuries, that she was beaten?”

            “Yeah.”  Blake’s hands instinctively clenched into fists.  “They kidnapped her, beat her, and that Juan fucker was going to rape her!  And then she got shot, and they took the ring off of her when they went to repair her shoulder in the operating room.”

            “I imagine, if you’d asked her before, she would have reported feeling rather, well, detached?” Mark said.  “Like I told you, until she was completely anchored to this body, any strong shock could knock her out of it.  The stress of her kidnapping, the beatings, the threat of rape, and certainly the injury could have done it.  By the time she went to the operating room, her hold through the diamond was likely very weak.  Taking the diamond off severed it completely.”

            “But she can still come back,” Blake insisted.  “The diamond can still be used to bring her back, right?”

            Mark didn’t answer right away.  He reached forward, put his hand over the diamond on Kitty’s hand, and closed his eyes for a moment.  Then he leaned back and looked at Blake, his expression serious.  “The diamond’s been drained, Blake.  It’s almost completely devoid of power now.  Adam Levine has been dead for a year before possessing this woman.  When the diamond was removed, his spirit was forcefully removed from her body.  Assuming he’s still in the void, he likely doesn’t have much time left before the power of the diamond fades away completely and he’s lost.”

            “Lost?”  Blake’s heart skipped a beat.  “What do you mean, lost?”

            “In the void.”  Mark’s face was grim.  “That’s what ghosts are, Blake.  If Adam’s lost in the void, he’ll be a ghost, with no real perception of our reality.  Ghosts can’t be brought back into this world, Blake, not even with a powerful artifact like the diamond combined with a medium with strong ties to the deceased like yourself.  If Adam Levine becomes a ghost, he’s lost.  That’s worst-case scenario.”

            “What’s best case?”

            “That he’s drawn through the void,” Mark explained.  “That he gets pulled through to the other side and enters the next life, whatever life he’s earned.  But again, if that happens, he’ll be lost to you.”

            “Alright, then you’re making this a hell of a lot easier,” Blake declared.  “If I’ve done all I can and I can’t pull her through, and she’s running out of time, then I got one choice left.”  He raised the bottle.  “Option two.  I gotta go in after her and bring her back!”

            “Are you out of your mind?!”

            “Hell yes!” Blake exclaimed.  “You said you couldn’t tell me when or why I’d need this potion?  Well, I need it now.  I’m using it to knock my spirit out of my body so I can enter the void.  I’ll do it while I’m in physical contact with the ring, so I can pass through the diamond to go look for her.  Then when I find her, I bring her right back the way I came.  I just need your help to find my way!”

            “You certainly do!” Mark grumbled.  “There are a few things fundamentally wrong with your plan, Blake.  For starters, you cannot pass through the diamond.  At its core, the diamond is a soul trap, a sort of container for the spirit of Adam Levine.  That’s why it was so powerful.  The fact that it’s power is nearly drained means that Levine’s almost gone.  If you went into it too quickly, there’s a chance you could knock him out of it and then he’s lost!  You need to pass into the void on your own, and then use your natural talents to find him.  And then, assuming you do, you can’t bring him back the way you came or you’ll only try to draw him into your own body with you!  Now, I’m aware you’re quite close to him, or her, whatever.  But I think sharing the same body, even if you could keep her in it with you, would be just a bit too close, don’t you think?  If you can bring her back, you need to send her back to her own body.  Well, Kitty’s body.  You know what I mean!”

            “Fine,” Blake agreed.  “Then you’ll help me?”

            Mark groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “God help me, how do I always get myself into these crazy situations?”

            “That a yes or a no?”

            “Yes, dammit, I’ll help you!  Look at my forehead, Blake, do I have the word ‘sucker’ tattooed across it?”

            Blake smiled.  He raised the bottle towards Mark in salute and then pulled out the stopper.  “So do I need some sort of magic spell, or incantation, or…?”

            “You just drink it,” Mark sighed.  “It’s the simplest thing in the world.  The potion is a mixture of very potent herbs, most of which are powerful hallucinogenics.”

            “Peyote, or acid?”

            “Both, actually, plus a few other things.  I really hope you don’t have to pass a drug test any time soon after this because you’ll fail it.  An invading spirit would be knocked out and launched into the void right away, but you’re still alive, so you’ll need my help.  So here’s how it will happen.  You drink the potion and let it knock you out.  Then I’ll grab you and shove you down.  Let it happen.  You’ll find yourself pushed down into the quiet and the darkness.  That’s the void.  Now listen, this is important.  You won’t be able to use any senses that you understand.  If you find her, you’ll find her with your heart, not your head.”

            Blake nodded.  “And then once I find her, what do I do?  How do I get her back in her body?”

            “That, I couldn’t tell you,” Mark admitted.  “If she’s still in the diamond, it’s just a matter of pushing her back through it.  If she’s not, well, chances are you won’t find her.  She’ll be on the other side, or a ghost.”

            Blae refused to consider that possibility.  “Alright, I push her back through the diamond.  Then how do I get back?”

            “Just let go,” Mark advised.  “You’re still alive, so your soul will naturally be drawn back to your body.  And hurry!  You won’t have much time before you bounce right back up like a balloon!”

            “Got it.”  Blake moved his chair slightly closer to Adam’s bed.  Then he took her hand and laced his fingers through hers, making sure his fingers contacted the Lifegem.  “Ready?”

            “No,” Mark snapped.  “But I never will be.  Go ahead and drink it.”

            “Bottoms up!”  Blake quickly knocked back the potion.  Then he leaned against the bed, trying to get comfortable.

            His head started spinning almost immediately.  He felt a curious sensation of light-headedness.  And then suddenly he was floating somewhere near the ceiling, looking down in surprise at his own body as it lay still against the side of Adam’s bed.

            “I hope you don’t make us both regret this, Blake,” Mark called.  “God help me if you end up not coming back and I have to explain exactly what happened!  Alright, here you go!”

            And then something like giant hands seized Blake and shoved him down, down.  He passed through the floors of the hospital, through the ground, and somehow kept going.  Sound receded with the light.  The hands faded away.  Blake continued, moving in the same direction, going forward.  The deeper Blake went, the darker it became.  He moved forward, deeper and deeper, moving away from his physical body and into the void.  It weakened him more and more as he went, until finally, everything seemed to stabilize.  Alright.  He’d arrived.  Now to find Adam.

            Blake took a moment to investigate his surroundings.  Darkness.  An emptiness darker and deeper than anything Blake could have imagined.  But this darkness wasn’t empty.  Adam was here, somewhere.  But how could Blake find her?  _“You won’t be able to use any senses that you understand,”_ Mark had advised.  _“If you find her, you’ll find her with your heart, not your head.”_

            Blake thought of Adam, not the woman he loved or the man he’d never admitted he loved, but the true essence of Adam.  The sweet, spunky, sarcastic, often infuriating little shit that was Adam.  The loving soul that had gazed out at Blake through two sets of eyes and had seen past his every fault to see the man inside.  The heart that loved him.  The balm to his soul.  _“Adam!”_

_“Blake?”_

            That old, familiar voice, the one Adam had when Blake first knew him.  Blake didn’t turn so much as shifted his awareness.  There.  It was like the tiniest of sparks in the darkness, a crystalline glint.  He reached towards it.

            Adam floated here, small and weak, so drained he was little more than a fading shadow.  _“Adam!”_   Blake moved forward, encompassing Adam like a warm, protective blanket.

            He sensed Adam shift, try to resist.  _“No, Blake, go back!  Let me go and go back, please!  You can’t be here.  It’s not your time!”_

_“I know.  I’m not giving up, buddy.  I’m here for you.”_

_“No, Blake!”_   Adam shifted again.  _“I can’t!  I don’t have the strength anymore!”_

_“I’m here for you.  And I’m not leaving without you.”_   Blake folded his essence over Adam’s as if he were drawing him into his lap.  _“Adam, I’m here, baby.  I’m here.”_

            Adam’s strength was nearly gone.  He was pulling away…  No, that wasn’t it.  Adam wasn’t pulling away, he was _being pulled_.  It almost seemed as if Adam were clinging to some solid object in the darkness, something sturdy and somehow crystalline, hanging against gravity the way he used to swing off of the support poles on the set of “The Voice.”  But he was losing his hold.  Something far stronger than gravity was pulling on him now, and Adam was exhausted.  He was finally ready to let go.  _“Blake, I can’t!  I can’t hold on.  I tried, but I just can’t do it any longer!”_

            Blake reached for the anchor, clung to it and held tight to Adam.  _“I got you, Adam.”_

            But for how long?  Adam was as insubstantial as mist, and yet somehow, he was the heaviest thing Blake had ever tried to hold.  But of course it wasn’t weight he was fighting against.  Like a black hole in the darkness of space, something drew on Adam.  From deep in the void, the afterlife summoned.  It was an overwhelming force.  Blake had no idea how Adam had held against it for as long as he had.  _“I’m not leaving you,”_ Blake vowed.  _“I’m not letting you go, dammit, I’m not!”_

_“It will pull you in with me!”_

_“So be it.”_

Adam suddenly had a new burst of strength.  For a moment, he’d nearly slipped off of his tentative anchor.  But now he clung once more.  _“No!  Blake, my time is over, alright?  It’s past over!  I had more than I was granted.  I died, and I came back!  But now it’s time to let me go.”_

_“Never!  Adam, don’t you dare give up on me now, dammit, don’t you dare!  I’m here, Rockstar.  I’ve got you, and we’ll figure this out.  Just hang on, damn you!  Hang on!”_

Adam did.  His essence shook with effort.  Blake supported him as much as he could.  He considered the mysterious crystalline anchor.  Blake reached towards it, feeling the brittle surface.  _“This is what you’ve been holding on to?”_

_“At first, it trapped me here,”_ Adam explained.  _“It was like a cage around me, holding me in place.  When I died, I knew that I was supposed to move on, but it happened so fast!  And I never had the chance to tell you how I really felt.  I wasn’t ready to go, so I lingered.  And then, just when I was about to give up, this cage appeared.  I couldn’t get out of it, Blake!  Then, just when I figured this was how I was going to spend eternity, suddenly I was in Kitty’s body!”_

            _“And you couldn’t remember what happened here?”_

_“No,”_ Adam confirmed.  _“Why would I want to?  I was locked inside of this cage in all this blackness, and I couldn’t get out!  It was awful!  I was so glad you brought me back, even when I wasn’t entirely sure where I’d been.  But what happened to send me here again?  I remember getting shot, did I die?”_

            Blake touched the anchor again, understanding what it was.  The diamond, of course.  The Lifegem.  Naturally, it would seem like a cage, trapping Adam’s precious soul with its power.  And now that the diamond was nearly drained of power, it was little more than an anchor in the void, the only link Adam had to the living world.  _“They took the ring off of you, Adam,”_ Blake explained.  _“That’s what this is, this cage. I’m an idiot.  I never thought, I never considered that they might need to take your jewelry off to take you into surgery.  If I’d told them...”_

_“It doesn’t matter,”_ Adam declared.  _“I understand now why I was sent back here.  But this time, it wasn’t like I was in a cage.  Part of the cage was here, and I was back inside it, but it was like the bottom fell out!  I held on to what was left and called and called for you, but you couldn’t hear me.”_  

_“The diamond is almost out of power,”_ Blake explained.  _“When you got knocked out of it again, that drained it and now this is all that’s left!”_

            Adam seemed to whimper.  _“You shouldn’t have come, Blake.  I’ve been here too long.  I can’t stay anymore.  I have to pass on!”_

            _“Like hell you do!”_   Blake clung tightly to his friend and lover.  _“This cage thing.  You can’t hold onto it anymore?”_

_“I’m sorry, but I can’t!”_

Blake got a firm hold on Adam.  _“Then let go, and let me hold you.”_

__

            And without hesitating, Adam did.  The absolute trust, the simple belief in Blake, was enough for Blake to keep them together despite the sudden increase in “weight” when Adam let go of his tentative hold.  It was all Blake needed.  _“I’ve got you, baby,”_ he soothed.  _“Now hang on.  I’m getting us out of here.”_

_“Be careful!  If I’m too much, I want you to let me go.”_

_“I will be, and you’re not.  Now Adam, you promised me that no matter where you went, you would always come back to me,”_ Blake reminded.  _“That still the case?”_

_“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you…”_

_“No buts!  You gave me your word, and I intend to hold you to it.  Now, I’ve got you.  You just let me do what I have to do, ya hear?”_

_“Alright.”_

            Adam’s essence became still and compliant.  Blake held tightly to him and tentatively prodded at the edges of the crystalline anchor.  He tried moving away from it, but quickly sensed a sudden pain from Adam, a weakening of Adam’s essence.  He rapidly moved back.  No, he couldn’t take Adam back the way he’d come.  Once more, Blake considered the remnants of Adam’s “cage.”  This, the power of the Lifegem, was what had kept Adam here.  It had bound Adam to Kitty’s physical body.  That meant it was likely the only way Adam had to get back to it.  Blake pushed against it and felt a slight give.  Alright, then.  _“Adam?”_ he called gently.  _“I’ve got an idea.  No idea how it’s gonna work, if at all, but it’s pretty much all we got.  I need you to trust me, and when I say go, you need to go the way I send you just as fast as you can and keep going!  Alright?”_

_“Alright.”_  

            No argument.  No second-guessing.  No questions.  Just simple trust.  Blake wished he could be so sure in what he had in mind.  But he couldn’t second-guess himself now.  Adam couldn’t hold on, and soon enough, Blake wouldn’t be able to hold him either.  It was all or nothing.  _“I love you, Adam.”_

_“I love you, too.”_

_“Alright.  Here goes everything!”_

            Blake braced, gathering his strength.  Then he thrust forward, driving against the crystalline cage with all his strength.

            It gave, gave, and then shattered.

            _“Now, Adam!”_ Blake cried, shoving Adam through the space where the cage had been.  _“That way, go!”_

            And Adam did.  His essence brushed by, buffeting Blake’s as it passed and sending Blake spinning through the void.  He regained control and floated, reaching out.  _“Adam?  Adam, did you make it, baby?”_

            No response.  Nothing but the vast emptiness.  Had Adam made it through?  Was he lost in the void?  Or had the terrible force that had been pulling on him drawn him in?

            Only one way to find out.

            Blake let himself rise.  Higher and higher he went.  Soon the void rang with echoing sounds, light.  And at last, he opened his eyes.  “Adam!”

            “Mr. Shelton?  Oh, thank God, I really thought I’d lost you!” Mark moaned.  The man was drenched in nervous sweat.  His eyes were wild as he helped Blake sit up.

            Blake shrugged off his arms.  His horrified eyes were locked on Adam’s ring.  The diamond had shattered.  It was nothing more than glistening dust over Adam’s hand and the sheet.  _Destruction._   “What happened?!”

            “I don’t know!” Mark exclaimed.  “It just popped, and then the lights flickered, and then you woke up!  I’m a psychic, not a physicist!”

            Blake wasn’t listening.  With a strangled cry, he’d pounced on Adam, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her slight form.  “Adam!  Wake up, baby.  _Wake up!”_

            “Oooooow!” Adam cried.  Her eyes fluttered open, full of pain, and her hand went to her injured shoulder.  “Dammit, Shelton, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

            The bullet wound.  While the wound itself was healed, Blake had no doubt that her arm was still stiff and sore.  By the look on Adam’s face, it was quite painful.  “Sorry, sorry,” Blake called.  Then he grabbed Adam and held her close, breathing deeply.  That scent.  It was all Adam now, every bit the man she once was.  Blake clung to her, a sob rising in his throat.  “You’re here,” he breathed.  “You’re really here, the whole way in!”  His frantic blue eyes fixed on Mark.  “That’s right, isn’t it?  She’s fully in this body now?”

            “I…  Why yes!”  Mark was staring at Adam in something like wonder.  “I can’t sense the spirit at all.  She’s a completely intact person.  That’s remarkable!”

            “Mr. Shelton?  Oh, Miss Miller!  You’re awake?”  The neurologist.  She gawked at Adam for a moment, shook her head in wonder, and then walked briskly over, carrying some papers in her hand.  “Thank God!  You really are a medical miracle, aren’t you?  I cannot explain this in a million years!”

            “I told you not to give up on her,” Blake declared.  He kissed Adam again.  “She’s the toughest little soul I’ve ever met!”

            “I’ve never been so glad to be proven wrong,” the neurologist declared.  She moved closer, pulling a penlight to shine in Adam’s eyes.  “Can you tell me your name?”

            “Kitty Miller,” Adam said without hesitation, winking at Blake.  Blake smirked.  Of course she couldn’t tell her real name.

            “And where are you?” the doctor was asking.

            “Looks like a hospital?”

            “Any idea what day it is?”

            “None whatsoever.  But I know Blake, and that’s honestly the only thing I care about.”  Adam smiled at Blake.  Blake squeezed her hand.

            “Well!  It’s not every day this happens,” the doctor declared.  “I was actually coming down here to talk to Mr. Shelton about making a decision that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”

            Adam sobered.  Her eyes locked on Blake.  “Tell me the truth, Big Country.  Was I out for a long time?”

            “Weeks, Rockstar,” Blake explained gently.  “You were gone for weeks.  You remember any of it?”

            “No.”  Adam paled.  She swallowed hard, nodded, and clung to Blake’s hand.  “It doesn’t matter, so long as I’m here with you now.  Thank you for not giving up on me!”

            “I’ll never give up on you.”  Blake squeezed her hand and leaned over to kiss her again.

            “Alright!” the neurologist declared.  “We’ll have to run some tests, but honestly, we’re a bit limited in what we can do right now.  I have to say, you gave us all quite the scare!  How are you feeling?”

            “Tired,” Adam admitted.  “And a little queasy, to be honest.”  Adam swallowed hard.  “Um, might want to grab that basin, Big Country!”

            Blake retrieved the basin just before Adam was noisily sick.  “Aw, baby, I’m sorry,” he soothed, awkwardly patting Adam’s back.  “That from being in a coma for so long or something, doc?  Maybe the feeding tube?”

            “Feeding tube?!”  Adam pulled up her gown and squawked indignantly at the incontinence briefs she wore and the feeding tube snaking out of her stomach.  “Ok, that all goes, pronto!  And now I am definitely getting a tattoo to cover that scar.  Is that why I’m throwing up, doctor?  Because of this stupid tube?”

            “Actually, no,” the doctor replied.  She had a smile on her face as she eyed Adam.  “And I’m afraid that sickness is something you’d best get used to, Miss Miller.  You’re in for quite a bit more of it!”

            “Gee, thanks doc!” Adam managed.  “Blake, this doctor is clearly a sadist.  She’s taking entirely too much pleasure in my misery!  What is this, a weird new strain of flu you can get named after yourself that’s got you all giddy?”

            “Oh, you’re welcome to name it after me, but it’s not the flu,” the doctor explained cheerfully.  “Miss Miller, the reason I came in here to speak with Mr. Shelton was because he was appointed your legal guardian and needed to make a decision about your continued care.  You see, I got your labs back.  And you appear to be pregnant.  Congratulations!”

            Adam and Blake froze.  They looked up at each other, eyes meeting, their faces mirroring their shock.  And then both of their mouths curled up into happy grins.

            “I think that’s my cue to go,” Mark declared.  He quickly headed for the door.  “Take care, and have a great wedding, bye!”

            “Wedding?”  The doctor smiled wider.  “Oh, how exciting!  You two are getting married?”

            “Damn that guy!” Blake exclaimed.  “I forgot he saw me coming out of that store.  Oh well.”  He turned to Adam.  “I’ve been carrying this around in my pocket every day, hoping you’d wake up and I could give it to you.  Now’s my chance!”  He indicated the ring on her hand.  “Seeing as how your original diamond is kind of ruined, I thought maybe you’d like a new one?”

            Adam stilled.  “Blake?  What are you saying?”

            Blake cleared his throat.  “Hey doc, think we could have a moment?”

            “Oh!  Of course!”  The doctor’s eyes were shining.  She quickly darted outside and pulled the door closed.

            Adam eyed him.  “Blake, what’s going on?”

            In answer, Blake dropped to his knees next to the bed and dug into his pocket.  “Like I said, I’ve been carrying this around for weeks, since I bought it.  I was planning on doing this that night you went for a new tattoo.  But then those asshole Sinners showed up, and…  Well.  Bottom line, you’re back, and I think, this time, you’re here to stay.  So, I suppose you better think this over, because this looks like it’s for the long haul!”  Blake pulled a velvet case from his pocket.  He held it towards Adam and opened it, revealing the diamond ring inside.  “Adam Noah Levine, will you marry me?”

            The emerald eyes were huge in Adam’s pale face.  She reached a hand towards the ring, pausing just before reaching it.  Then she swallowed hard and nodded.  “Yes.  Yes, Blake, I’ll marry you, yes!”

            A moment later, Blake slid the ring onto her finger.  He indicated the shattered Lifegem’s setting.  “I guess you don’t need this anymore, huh?”

            “No, I guess not.  But I’d like to keep it, if you don’t mind.  It’s got a lot of sentimental value.”

            Blake smiled.  “Whatever you want, baby.”

            Adam’s eyes were soft now.  “Is this really what you want, Big Country?”

            “More than I’ve ever wanted anything else in the world, Rockstar,” Blake declared.  He kissed her hand, kissed the new diamond shining there.  Then he leaned forward and kissed her abdomen and the treasure it hid, more precious than any diamond.  Finally he rose and pressed his lips to Adam’s.  Nothing else mattered.  Blake’s entire world was right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun got a silly smile on his face at the end. Mark made him laugh, liked that he stayed and watched over Blake. Thought that was good, how the “creation” aspect of the universe balancing itself turned out. Was cool how Blake used that potion, did not forsee Blake using it on himself!


	27. Rockin' Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Blake adjust to their new life together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of diegetic songs here:
> 
> "Lady" by Kenny Rogers  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeIUmACQGOo
> 
> "Rockin' Years" by Dolly Parton  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4rMW2Iej6I

            Blake stood alone listening to the haunting notes of the keyboard.  He raised the microphone towards his lips and began to sing.  _“Lady, I'm your knight in shining armor and I love you.  You have made me what I am, and I am yours!  My love, there's so many ways I want to say ‘I love you.’  Let me hold you in my arms forevermore!”_

            The only sounds were the music and Blake’s voice, rising and falling in cadence like the words of a spell.  When Ma, seated between Emma and Clyde, sniffed and dried her eyes, it did nothing to break the spell.

            _“You have gone and made me such a fool!  I'm so lost in your love!  And oh, we belong together.  Won't you believe in my song?”_

            Carson’s eyes swam.  He rubbed at them with a fisted hand and tried to keep his composure.  Mark, standing next to him in his long robes, smirked knowingly.  Carson scowled at him.

            _“Lady, for so many years I thought I'd never find you.  You have come into my life and made me whole!  Forever let me wake to see you each and every morning.  Let me hear you whisper softly in my ear.”_

            Gwen, dressed head to toe in deep sapphire blue, clutched a bouquet of flowers to her chest.  But Blake’s eyes were locked to the woman in white at her side.  Adam’s emerald eyes were shining.  Her long, flowing white gown draped from the sparkling tiara on her head, the veil trailing down until the satin of the dress took over, continuing down into the long white train.  She too clutched a bouquet of flowers to her chest.  The diamond ring Blake had put on her finger sparkled in the dim light.  Today, Blake would put another ring on her finger.

            _“In my eyes, I see no one else but you.  There's no other love like our love!  And yes, oh yes, I'll always want you near me.  I've waited for you for so long!”_   Blake’s voice swelled, rising with the full power of an experienced country singer into the final verse.  _“Lady, your love's the only love I need!  And beside me is where I want you to be.  'Cause, my love, there's somethin' I want you to know, you're the love of my life, you're my lady!”_

            For a moment, after the song was finished, no one moved.  Then applause and cheering broke out.  Adam’s face broke into a sunny smile as Blake stepped down and took her hand once more.  “You son of a bitch,” she whispered.  “Why didn’t you tell me you were singing a song?”

            Blake grinned.  “I wanted it to be a surprise,” he whispered back.

            “It was!” Adam hissed, grinning wider.  “Asshole!”

            “Dickhead!”

            Mark cleared his throat.  “Knock it off, you two idiots,” he advised in a low voice, discretely covering his microphone.  “Remember, you are in a church!”

            Blake and Adam immediately became serious.

            Mark glowered at them.  Then he turned on his microphone and his smile.  “Well, Blake certainly left me a hard act to follow,” he said.  “If it wasn’t obvious before, the two people standing here before me today love each other with a passion so consuming, so powerful, that it could even transcend death itself.  More than anyone else I have ever met, Blake and Adam were meant to be together.”

            Blake had wanted a big wedding.  He’d wanted to shout out to the entire world how much he loved Adam.  He wanted everyone to know that she, and the tiny life growing inside of her, had completed him just when he’d thought he’d never feel whole again.  But instead, the church contained only his and Adam’s families and their closest friends, those who had learned and accepted the truth about who Adam really was.  Their wedding party consisted of Gwen standing with Adam and Carson with Blake, with Mark, who turned out to be an ordained minister, officiating.  But that was the choice Blake had made with Adam.  He could have had the big wedding Adam deserved, but in the end, he’d have to marry Kitty Miller.  Here, in this intimate setting, he could marry the one he truly loved.

            Somehow, though, this was perfect.  And from the look in Adam’s eyes as she gazed up at him, an exquisite goddess in her wedding gown, she felt the same.

            Taking the gold band from Carson, Blake lifted her hand.  Part of him had expected to feel a moment of fear, or at least anxiety, when he pulled off her diamond engagement ring to give her the wedding band.  But all he felt was a glow of happiness.  Adam was here to stay, and soon, she’d be his forever.  Blake swallowed hard and slipped the wedding band onto her finger, sliding the engagement ring back on below it.  “I, Blake Tollison Shelton, take you, Adam Noah Levine, to be my lawfully wedded wife…”

            The official marriage certificate would list Blake Tollison Shelton and Kitty Elaine Miller.  But the vows they exchanged would be to each other.

            “I, Adam Noah Levine, take you, Blake Tollison Shelton, to be my lawfully wedded husband…”

            Beneath the empire waist of her dress, Adam’s abdomen showed just the faintest of bulges.  Mark had said that the universe balanced itself, either through destruction or creation.  This time, it had chosen creation.

****

            It wasn’t always perfect.  Nothing ever is.

            Blake paced in a small circle, anxiously listening to the phone ringing at the other end of the line.  As soon as a sleepy voice answered, he announced, “She’s doing it again!”

            “Blake?”

            “Ma, Adam’s crying again!” Blake frantically told her.  “The damned dog tore all the stuffing out of one of her blasted plush animals she’s got for the baby, and she just lost it!  She sobbed for five minutes and then announced out of the blue she was hungry.  And when I told her we didn’t have what she wanted, she threw two pillows, a remote control, and a stuffed bear at me!  I offered to go to the store, and she started crying harder and saying I just don’t want to be around her because she’s fat and ugly and her back hurts and her feet are swollen and…”

            “Blake, calm down, dear.  I’m going to do a three-way conference call.”

            Blake waited until a grunt came from the phone.

            “Clyde?” Ma said.  “You need to run to the store.”

            “I need to wha?”  Clyde grunted again, apparently shifting.  “Ma, it is three o’clock in the morning!”

            “Don’t you sass me, boy!” Ma snapped.  “Did you or did you not promise Adam that you would do whatever that little girl needed done while she was pregnant with your brother’s baby to make up for the way you treated her?”

            “Yes, ma’am,” Clyde groaned.  “Dammit, Ma, it’s snowing outside!”

            “Clyde!”

            “Sorry, Ma.  Lemme get a pen and paper…”  More grunting.  “Ok, what does she need?”

            Blake gave him a list.

            “Seriously?  Seriously, Blake?  It’s three o’clock in the morning, it’s a damned blizzard outside, and you want me to run to the store for…”

            “Clyde!”

            “Oh, come on, Ma!” Clyde whined.  “When I told Adam I’d do whatever she needed done, I was thinking fixing stuff around the house or working on the ranch or even helping clean, not running out at three in the morning in a blizzard to…!”

            “Clyde, I will take away your birthday!” Ma warned ominously.  “I carried you for nine months and nursed you at my own breast…”

            Clyde gagged.  “I could have done without that mental image, Ma.”

            “Me, too, actually,” Blake agreed.

            “Boys, do not interrupt your mother!  Now, Adam is doing just fine during this pregnancy, but she did start out as a man.  She ain’t in no way prepared for this!  That means you two boys are going to be patient and help her.  That means Blake, you learn how to duck when she starts throwing things.  And Clyde, you get up off of your ass and get to the cotton pickin’ store!”

            Clyde whimpered.  “Alright, alright, I’m going!  If I end up in a ditch…?!”

            “Oh, drive your damned truck with the chains on the tires, Clyde!  You’ve lived in Oklahoma your whole life.  If you don’t know how to drive in the winter by now, you ain’t got the brains God gave a fly!  Now git!”

            “Yes ma’am.”  There was a click and he was gone.

            “Thanks, Ma,” Blake said.  “I think that will help her, to know it’s coming.  But what do I do in the meantime?”

            “You got any baby lotion, Blake?”

            Blake blinked.  “What?!”

            “Oh, settle your hormones.  Listen, here’s what you do…”

            Forty minutes later, Adam was considerably calmer.  The living room was filled with plush animals, thrown pillows, white fluff from the murdered plush animal, and crumpled twists of Kleenex, but Blake would tend to that later.  He carefully massaged baby lotion into her swollen feet.  Adam leaned back on the couch with her feet in his lap, propped up by pillows.  Her eyes were soft as she stroked her hand over her bulging, well-lotioned abdomen.  “You promise the stretch marks really aren’t that bad?”

            “You’re beautiful,” Blake soothed.  “Everything about you is beautiful.  You’re the most beautiful pregnant woman anyone’s ever seen!”

            She glowed.

            There was a knock on the door.  Blake carefully climbed out from under Adam’s feet, paused to kiss her, and answered it.

            What appeared to be an animated snowman was at the door, a bag of groceries in his arms.  “Blake?” Clyde began, blinking snow out of his eyes.  “I swear I will personally give you a vasectomy with a dull, rusty pocket knife.  And I’ll take your balls if you ever get her pregnant again!”

            “Ma says the next time will be easier,” Blake assured, taking the groceries.  “You wanna come in, stay in the guest room?”

            “I’d love that,” Clyde replied.  “It’s crazy out there!”  He stomped off his boots, carefully scraped the snow off outside, and came into the house.  Then he began peeling out of his snow-covered wrappings.

            Blake dashed into the kitchen and got to work.  Then he placed his creations on a tray, threw a dish towel over his arm, and carried everything out into the living room.  “Madam Shelton, welcome!” he called, doing a bad impersonation of a French waiter.  “For your dining pleasure in the middle of the night, we have pistachio and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, with marshmallow fluff, a banana, and a side dish of stuffed olives.  Bon appetite!”

            Adam giggled.  “Did Ma really tell you that putting lotion on my belly will help with the stretch marks?”

            “She really did,” Blake assured, knowing that Adam considered Ma Shelton the ultimate authority on all things related to pregnancy.  “And she threatened to take away Clyde’s birthday unless he went to the store for this stuff.  And I would have done it myself in a blizzard twice as bad.  Because I love you, Adam.”

            She smiled.  “I love you, too!”

            That morning before his brother went home, Clyde pulled Blake aside and suggested he consider armed help in the delivery room to keep Adam from killing anyone.  But while Adam still had some moments during the rest of her pregnancy, she never threw things again.

            When she was finally in the delivery room, she was like a different woman.

            Blake sang “Lady” again to Adam in the darkness of the room as he walked with her.  This time, it seemed like a prayer.  Blake had never heard of hypnobirthing before, but he was certainly impressed.  He’d expected someone waving a pocket watch on a chain and instructing Adam to look into their eyes.  But instead, the instructor only stopped by once for a quick hello and then gone.  Adam did everything else herself.  She’d held onto Blake, either his hand or his arm, from the moment her water broke.  The only exception had been the times Blake had climbed into her bed and leaned back against the head of it, letting her sit in his lap and nap on his chest.  For her part, she was unusually quiet, at least for Adam.  As her labor progressed, Blake could track her contractions by listening to her careful, measured breathing.  At the end of each one she would get a little smile on her face.  It was the first time Blake had ever heard of a woman in labor _smiling._   But Adam was amazing.  Everything about her was amazing.

            The fact she was bringing his child into the world was the most amazing thing of all.

            When the time came to deliver their baby, Blake kept waiting for the screams and cursing he heard every woman did.  But they never came.  Adam panted and whimpered and looked up at Blake through wide eyes.  But that was it.  “You don’t feel any pain with hypnobirthing, just pressure,” the instructor had explained.  “It’s an extremely gentle, easy birth.”

            And it was.

            Now Blake felt like he’d been hypnotized.  He sat on the bed with Adam resting between his legs, looking down in amazement as she nursed their son for the first time.  “Is this a dream?” he asked again.

            Adam rolled her eyes.  “Dude, for like the fifth time, no it’s not.  I didn’t take any drugs for this birth, but did they maybe give them to you?”

            “I think maybe I’m in shock,” Blake confessed.

            Adam smirked.  “Gee, do ya think?!”  She looked back down at the content infant at her breast and smiled.  “Your daddy’s a big dumb idiot,” she cooed.  “But don’t worry.  He’ll snap out of it the first time he has to change your dirty diaper!”

            Blake supposed he should have protested.  But he simply didn’t have it in him.  “I never want to leave this spot, this moment,” he said.  “The three of us here, our little family for the first time.  I love you so much!  I’m so proud of you, Adam.”

            Adam looked back up at him.  Her eyes were soft.  “I’d do anything to make you proud of me.”

            “And I’d do whatever it took to make your dreams come true,” Blake vowed.

            She chuckled.  “Think maybe we’re dreaming a little large, there, Big Country?  Eh, so what, right?  You only live once!”

            This time Blake couldn’t keep from laughing aloud.  “You know it, Rockstar!”  He smiled apologetically at his son.  Somehow, it seemed like the baby boy was giving him a recriminating look.  “Rocking chairs,” Blake promised.  “I’m dragging out my gramama’s matching set of old antique rocking chairs, and I will rock you to sleep just like parents did me!  You know, some of my best memories of my early childhood were from those chairs?  Ma and Pa sitting together, holding me and rocking in those chairs, singing to me, telling me Bible stories…”

            “Rocking chairs for rocking babies,” Adam mused.  He grinned up at Blake.  “We’re writing a song, aren’t we?”

            “Hey, why not?” Blake said, grinning.  “We still have a duet to do, right?”

            Adam nodded, conceding the point.  “Only one thing.”

            “What’s that?”

            “If we’re really doing a duet about rocking chairs?  Then this song is going to be country,” she announced.  “As country as we can make it!”

****

            Five weeks later, they were on the road, kicking off Blake’s tour.  Adam took her place right on stage next to Blake, playing guitar and singing back-up.  She’d already gotten the ear of her old producer.  Blake knew her mind had been buzzing with ideas for her first album.  Blake still felt a pang at the idea of her not being constantly with him, especially when he thought about her taking their son with her.  But she’d promised to always come back to him.  More than ever, Blake believed that now.  Mark had been right.  The two of them were simply meant to be together.

            Finishing his song, Blake waited, smiling, at the microphone for the cheers of the crowd to die down.  Behind him, he knew, Adam had finally put down her guitar and had picked up a microphone of her own, moving up to join him.  “I’d like to formally introduce y’all to my wife, Mrs. Kitty Shelton,” he called.  “She’s gonna join me for this one.  It’s a little song we wrote together when our son was born and we’d like to share it with ya now.  It’s called ‘Rockin’ Years.’”

            The sounds of a country waltz began to play as Blake turned to Adam and took her hand.  She smiled up at him and began to sing.  _“I’ll do everything I can to make you proud to be my man!”_

 _“And I’ll fulfill all your fantasies!”_ Blake sang back.

            _“I guess we’re promising a lot, but for now, it’s all we’ve got.”_

_“And I’ll stand by you through our rockin’ years.”_

            And now their voices joined together.  _“Rockin’ chairs, rockin’ babies, rock-a-bye, Rock of Ages!  Side by side, we’ll be together always!”_

            Adam squeezed his hand.  _“And if you hold me tight when you love me?  That’s all I’ll as of you.”_

            _“And I’ll stand by you,”_ Blake vowed, squeezing back as Adam’s voice again joined with his.  _“Through our rockin’ years!”_

_“I’ll be your friend!”_

_“I’ll be your lover!”_

_“Until the end, they’ll be no other!”_

            Adam pressed their clasped hands against her chest, her eyes still locked with his. _“And my heart has only room for one.”_

Blake was singing directly to Adam.  _“Yes, I’ll always love you.”_

            _“And I’ll always be here for you.”_

_“And I’ll stand by you, through our rocking years!”_

            They moved through the chorus, seeming oblivious to everyone else but each other.  Their voices rose, powerful and in perfect harmony through the final chorus.  Then Adam’s voice soared.  _“And yes, I’ll always love you!”_

            _“And I’ll always be here for you,”_ Blake promised.

            _“And I’ll stand by you, through our rockin’ years, yes I’ll be here!  And I’ll stand by you, through our rockin’ years, through our rockin’ years!”_

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Fun said nice ending! Happy, as it should be.
> 
> Well, Nut, there's your story. You wanted fluff? There's literal fluff all over the floor!
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed!


End file.
